Whisper Your Weakness
by kayladie
Summary: Luke and Mara impulsively begin an affair. Just when Luke thinks his dreams might be coming true, his worst nightmare comes to life. Very much AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Whisper Your Weakness

**Author:** kayladie

**Rating:** M, for sexual situations and violence, including rape

**Summary:** Luke and Mara impulsively begin an affair. Just as Luke thinks his dreams might be coming true, his worst nightmare comes to life.

**A/N:** Warning to those who aren't already familiar with this story...it deals with some pretty intense situations, although I don't believe they're any more graphic than your average R-rated movie. The nonconsensual sex is also M/M, or slash, so be aware. I'll give warnings on each chapter as they are needed. Also, words in **bold **are Force talk.

* * *

Luke Skywalker sat in the back booth of his favorite café on Coruscant, sipping a mug of hot chocolate as he read the datapad in front of him. He had been so excited when he had found it in the New Republic Library, but he now realized he had gotten worked up over nothing. Ever since Yoda had told him to pass on what he had learned, Luke had been searching for the means to do just that. He knew next to nothing about the ways of the old Jedi and when he had seen that this datapad had promised to reveal the 'secrets of the Jedi' he had felt a thrill go through him.

He should have known better. The authors of the datapad were obviously no more Jedi than he was a protocol droid. He couldn't help but smile at some of the outlandish ideas that the authors attributed to Jedi, not the least of which was the ability to walk through walls! Luke certainly wished he could do that as it would have come in handy at several points in his career.

He was chuckling softly to himself as he read when an obnoxious sound assaulted his ears.

"Hey, Skywalker!"

He looked up at the sound of a voice calling his name and grimaced when he saw Mara Jade walking towards him with an evil little smirk on her face. Not that he was displeased to see her, not at all. In fact, his heartbeat did a funny little skip at the sight of that red-gold hair. What displeased him was the fact that she had just shouted his name loud enough to wake the dead in a crowded café in the middle of the lunch rush.

Luke liked this café because they made the best hot chocolate on Coruscant and he loved to come here and sit and read or watch the people going by. It was rare that he had downtime and he appreciated it when he did. Normally, he used the Force to gently turn away any interest in his direction, but Mara's shout had taken care of that quickly and he could already hear the murmurs begin.

"…_the _Luke Skywalker…"

"…didn't know he was here…"

"…shorter than he looks in holos…"

"…think he'd sign an autograph?…"

Mara continued to smirk as she slid into the seat opposite him. He glared at her for a moment.

"You did that on purpose," he accused in a somewhat sulky tone.

"Did what?" she asked, her eyebrows rising in a perfect, and completely false, gesture of innocence.

He sighed and let the glare fall away. She was totally unrepentant so there was no need in getting worked up over it. "Never mind."

"Whatcha reading?"

"Supposedly the secrets of the Old Republic Jedi order, but I don't think they're talking about the kind of Jedi I know," he said with a self-deprecating grin.

She gestured for him to hand her the datapad and he did so with a smile, waiting for her reaction to the ridiculous claims it held. He didn't have to wait long and his smile grew broader at her derisive snort. Then he tensed as he realized what was about to happen. One would think that after nearly twelve years of this, he would eventually get used to it, but somehow that never seemed to occur.

The first one brave enough to approach was a young human boy, probably about fourteen standard years old. He shifted his weight nervously and Luke let him work up the courage to speak.

"Master Skywalker, sir?"

"Yes?"

"Umm, Master Skywalker, I was wondering how you get to go to your Academy, sir. I think I have the Force, too."

"What's your name?"

"Collin, sir."

Luke managed to bite back his sigh as he gently probed the boy's mind. "No, Collin, I'm afraid that you don't," he said as softly as he could.

"Oh." The boy's whole body seemed to droop in disappointment. By this time, Mara had looked up from her reading and was watching the scene curiously. Luke felt the need to comfort the young man in some way.

"You don't need the Force to serve the Republic, Collin. A great many of my friends who are not Jedi do many wonderful things. You have to find your own gifts." He reached out and squeezed the boy's shoulder in encouragement and gave him a smile. Collin seemed to brighten a little at that and nodded as he walked away, dreaming of special talents he might possess.

If it had stopped there, Luke might have been okay, but it seemed that Collin only opened up the floodgates and in a matter of moments, the tiny booth was surrounded by people, all of them talking at once and questioning Luke about everything from what it was like to blow up the Death Star to if he knew how to fly, and if he did, could he take them for a ride?

Mara sat there and watched incredulously as Luke tried to deal with it all. He was being polite to everyone, but she knew him well enough to note the tension in his jaw and the strain around his eyes. Did he have to deal with this all the time, she wondered? _Of course he does, you idiot, he's _Luke Skywalker _for Sith's sake_, she berated herself. Hmmm, maybe her little joke hadn't been too funny after all. Well, she had gotten him into this; she supposed it was only fair that she got him out of it.

She stood up and, in an incredibly loud voice, said, "All right, citizens, the Jedi Master sincerely wishes he could speak with each one of you, but he has pressing Jedi business to attend to. He thanks you all for your support!"

The crowd paused as one, shocked to hear such a booming voice coming from such a small package. As she spoke, Mara had taken Luke by the arm and was firmly pulling him out of the booth and up the aisle of the café towards the door. He followed her unresistingly and, truth to tell, he was looking at her in astonishment just like the other patrons. Before the crowd quite knew what had happened, the Jedi Master and his companion were gone.

Once outside the café, they moved up the street, Luke still looking at her in amazement. "Wow," he said simply.

"You're welcome," she said, a little smugly.

"I didn't mean thank you. I knew you had a big mouth, I just never realized how big it really was."

She gaped at him, and then abruptly punched him in the chest. He staggered back a couple of steps, but he was laughing the whole time. "You only did that because you felt responsible for starting it in the first place!"

"Yeah, well…" She had the grace to look a little sheepish. She looked over his shoulder towards the café they had just departed. "Looks like a couple of your admirers don't give up so easily."

Luke turned to look and saw two young men step out onto the street and look around searchingly. He quickly turned and took Mara by the elbow, leading her around the corner. "Come on, we'll go to my apartment."

The two of them walked quietly beside one another on the way to Luke's apartment which was only a few minutes away. Luke couldn't help reflecting on his relationship with the woman at his side as they did so. It was a little over five years now since he had first met her, since he had been on the business end of the blaster she always carried. That they could be friends at all was an amazing thing, but even more astonishing was the fact that Luke would consider Mara to be his _best _friend.

In some ways, he was even closer to her than he was to his twin sister. Mara, as much as she resisted the idea of becoming a Jedi, was more attuned to the Force than Leia was, and so she probably understood Luke better than anyone else did. Mara understood about the Dark Side and the struggles that he faced daily with the demons that still haunted him. And yet…she had never judged him.

Even after the horrible mistake he had made on Byss, she had never abandoned him. Luke had sensed her disappointment, but she hadn't turned her back on him. Then there was the whole fiasco with Callista…he ignored the pang of hurt that always pierced him with just the thought of her name.

Mara had always been there when he needed her, after Byss and after Callista, when he'd wanted to do nothing but crawl into a hole and die, and she'd never even said 'I told you so' to him.

Five years since they had been involved in the Thrawn crisis and somehow, she'd become as important to him as Han, Leia and the children. And now, these last six months or so, he couldn't seem to stop thinking about her…

"Are you gonna unlock the door, Skywalker, or stand here lost in thought all day?"

He looked at her, startled, and realized they were standing at the front door to his apartment building. He flushed and hoped they hadn't been standing there too long, but judging by the amused smirk on her face, it had probably been a couple of minutes.

"Uh, right, sorry," he muttered as he unlocked the door and stood aside to allow her to enter ahead of him.

There was a companionable silence between them as they rode the turbolift up to his floor. Luke's thoughts again pondered the relationship he had with Mara. He had been devastated when Callista had left him and had been sure that his heart would never mend. Lately, though, he had begun to wonder if that was the truth. He had been having thoughts and dreams about the beautiful red-head that one didn't have for someone who was just a friend.

Luke had a slight suspicion that she might feel the same way, as he'd caught a few interesting stray thoughts from her once or twice, but he'd never quite found the courage to bring the subject up with her. He dreaded the thought of broaching the subject and finding out that he was wrong. He didn't think he would be able to stand it if he lost her friendship.

This time, he made certain that he wasn't so lost in his musings that he didn't notice when the turbolift doors opened in front of them. Once they were in his apartment, Luke invited her to make herself comfortable in the living room while he fixed them both a cup of tea. He added the touch of mantoo honey to Mara's that he knew she liked.

He paused a moment, considering the fact that he knew such a relatively intimate detail about her, and yet there were so many more intimate things he didn't know. But he wanted to. He found himself wondering what color underwear she was wearing.

**Skywalker, what are you _doing _in there?**

Her voice in his head made him slam his shields down on those other thoughts quickly. He hoped she hadn't picked up on them.

"Daydreaming again," he said as he walked into the living room and handed her the cup of tea. She looked at him a little strangely, but didn't comment. They sat and talked as they drank the tea, Mara telling him about her latest trade run, Luke telling her about how things were going at the Academy.

"Why are you on Coruscant right now, anyway?" she asked curiously.

"I've decided to take a few months off. A sort of…sabbatical, I guess you'd call it. Kam and Streen have things well in hand there and I keep in touch with them every few days."

"Everything all right with you?" Mara asked, eyeing him carefully. She hoped this wasn't about Callista. She had thought he was past that.

"No, it's not about Callista," he said, somewhat annoyed.

She frowned at him. "Stay out of my head, Skywalker."

"I'd have known you were thinking that even without the Force, Jade," he retorted. "But no, it's not her. I'm just…tired, that's all."

She decided not to push the issue and let the subject drop, for which Luke was grateful. He didn't want to have to tell Mara that _she _was part of the reason he'd decided to take a break. She was wreaking havoc with his concentration lately.

She picked up the datapad on Jedi history off the table in front of the sofa and turned it over in her hands. "So what's the deal with this?"

"Oh, I was just hoping to find out a few things about the old Jedi Order. But even I can tell that some of the stuff in there is way off base."

"Why are you worried about how they did things back then? Seems to me you're doing all right."

"Yeah, turning to the Dark Side was really evidence that I'm doing all right," he said sarcastically.

"Hey, you turned back and not just anyone could have done that! Everyone makes mistakes. I'll bet even the old Jedi Order made mistakes."

"I guess," he muttered. "So when are you going to come and finish your training?"

She groaned in frustration. "Give it up, Skywalker! I don't have the time for all that mystical mumbo-jumbo."

"Now you sound like Han," he snickered.

"Watch it," she growled.

He stood and, picking up her cup, carried it with his own to the sink. He rinsed them out and left them sitting in the basin. He walked back into the living room and stood looking down at her contemplatively.

"What?" she asked warily.

"I think the reason you don't want to come finish the training is you're afraid," he said softly.

"What?" she shrieked and stood to face him, the anger rolling off her in waves. He almost took a step back at the force of it. "I am not afraid of you or anyone, Skywalker!"

"I didn't say you were afraid of me. I think the one you're afraid of is yourself, of failing." That did it. He stood there quietly as she began to curse him in languages he didn't even know. He thought about giving her the 'anger leads to the Dark Side' speech, but he worried that she might renew her vow to kill him if he did. Maybe he should just let her get it out of her system.

Rarely did he manage to get Mara worked up to this state. Oh, sure, they argued a lot, but this…this was a whole new level. Luke would never know where he got the courage to do what he did next. He just knew that standing there, seeing her in all her raging glory, her green eyes shooting sparks and that beautiful red-gold hair like flames around her head, he wanted her more than he had ever wanted any woman in his life, Callista included. He could no more have resisted his impulse than he could have refused the Force itself.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Aaaaand here begins the smut...

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Luke reached out and cupped one hand at the back of Mara's neck and the other around her waist and pulled her sharply to him. She didn't have a chance to protest before he kissed her, hard and hungrily. For just a moment, her whole body stiffened in surprise and the tiny part of his brain that wasn't reveling in the feel and taste of her mouth was worried that she was about to slug him.

Then, to his amazement, she moaned and completely melted against him, returning the kiss with heartfelt passion. She very nearly leapt straight into his arms as she hooked her leg behind his knee so that their hips cradled each other. He shuddered with delight as she wriggled her hips against the evidence of his desire for her.

They broke apart from each other with a gasp and took a step back, staring intently into each other's eyes. Questions were asked and answered without either of them speaking a word.

**Do you want this?** He already knew the answer. He could see it in her face, in her body, but he wanted things absolutely clear between them.

**Oh, yes. **She wanted this more than she wanted air to breathe at that moment.

He started to step towards her, but suddenly there was another voice in his head, worried and questioning.

**Luke, are you all right?**

_Sith! Leia!_ He closed his eyes, appalled at her timing, but not really surprised. The emotions coursing through him were so strong, he was probably broadcasting like a beacon.

**Later, Leia. I can't talk right now.** He hoped that would be enough to deter her, but he should have known better.

**What's going on? I'm sensing something strange from you. It's so intense.**

**Can't talk now, Leia! I'll explain later!** he sent urgently and then, wincing as he did so, he cut her off. He knew he'd have hurt feelings to deal with later, but at this moment, all he could think about was Mara. He briefly concentrated on shielding everyone and everything else out except her. He definitely wanted her to be in. He desperately wanted to be in her.

He opened his eyes to find Mara smiling at him knowingly. He returned the smile and held his hand out to her. She moved forward fluidly and placed her hand in his. Walking backwards, he led her unerringly into his bedroom, their eyes never breaking contact.

They walked slowly into the bedroom, he going to one side of the bed, and she to the other. Their eyes locked onto one another, they began to undress. Luke's stare seemed to burn right through her as she unzipped her flight suit and shrugged it off her shoulders, exposing her breasts to his gaze.

By the same token, as he pulled his pants off and stepped out of them, she found her eyes riveted to that part of him that made him magnificently male. Unconsciously, she licked her lips and Luke's mouth curved into a smile. Finally, they stood completely naked, each assessing the other.

Luke found he was out of breath, simply because he'd forgotten to breathe. She was petite, and due to her athletic background as an assassin and a smuggler, she wasn't quite as rounded or curvy as some of the women he'd been with, but she was perfect.

Mara let her eyes roam over Luke's muscular chest and arms, proof positive that the Jedi Master still held to the physical part of the training as well as the mental. He wasn't very much taller than she was, but he was perfect.

They moved forward at the same time, crawling onto the bed on hands and knees and meeting in the middle. Their mouths met in another kiss, slower and gentler this time, their tongues dancing off each other. They kneeled face-to-face as hands came up to begin learning bodies. His thumbs rasped over her nipples and a tiny moan flowed from her mouth to his.

Her palms slid over his shoulders, caressing the strong muscles and then they slid down his chest to float over the hard plane of his belly. Luke's breath caught in a gasp as her teasing touch barely brushed his swollen member. His mouth broke away from hers to trail down her neck and followed where his thumb had been only moments before.

He teased her for a long moment, the tip of his tongue lightly grazing her nipple once, and then again. Mara groaned as her hands came up to clasp the back of Luke's head, urging him to take more. He continued to torture her until her groans began to take on an edge of anger. He smiled to himself as he decided he'd better give her what she wanted or she might still consider reinstating the death mark she'd once had on him.

Mara's groan turned into a little scream as Luke took her nipple into his mouth and suckled. He moved to her other breast and gave it the same tender attention. He pushed gently and Mara suddenly found herself on her back, Luke leaning over her.

"I'm going to taste every part of you," he promised, his voice rumbling through her senses and sending a thrill down her spine.

Mara shivered as he proceeded to make good on his vow. He started at her toes and kissed his way up her legs, lingering at points that seemed to make her particularly excited. Mara waited breathlessly for him to reach that one place that was sure to send her into ecstasy, but to her frustration, when he reached her inner thigh, he merely grazed his breath over her and moved upwards to her belly.

"Skywalker," she moaned his name in disappointment.

"What?" he whispered with a smile, knowing full well what she wanted.

"You know what," she muttered.

"What do you want, Mara?"

"I want--" she broke off as his tongue gently dipped into her belly button and at the same time, his fingers gently brushed the curls where she wanted his mouth to be.

"What do you want, Mara?" he repeated.

"I want…I want you to kiss me…_there,_" Mara breathed, suddenly feeling awkward and shy.

"Here?" he asked as he lightly brushed his fingers over her again.

"Yes," she answered, her voice reduced to a hiss.

"Will you give me what I want?" Again with the soft caress and this time, his thumb gently pressed the tiny nub that was aching for his mouth. She gasped and bucked her hips upward against his hand.

"Anything!" she cried. She needed this so bad she'd probably slice off a finger if he asked her to at this point. Maybe even one of her own.

"Anything?"

She growled in frustration when she heard him chuckle softly. "Skywalker…" she said, her tone a serious warning.

He surged upwards and kissed her mouth harshly, taking her very breath away. After a moment, he trailed a line of kisses across her cheek over to her ear. His fingers continued to tease her down below as he whispered to her.

"All I want, Mara, is for you to say my name while I taste you. My first name. I want you to scream it over and over. Can you do that, Mara?" His lips nibbled at her earlobe and she shuddered.

"Yes, yes, yes, I can do that," she said, her breath coming in short little pants.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise. I swear."

He slid back down her body, his gaze holding hers and Mara was reminded of a brema cat paralyzing its prey. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his. Until the moment his mouth finally claimed her. She threw her head backwards and arched her back as a jolt of pure pleasure ripped through her like force lightning. It was more intense than any feeling she had ever known.

"_Luke!" _

He smiled in satisfaction as he continued to pleasure her. Before long, she was chanting his name like a mantra as he drove her closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy. Her body abruptly stiffened and Luke could actually feel the tremors of her orgasm against his mouth. She went limp and lay there with her eyes closed, gasping, as he kissed her softly one last time.

He crawled up and lay beside her, nuzzling her neck. "Did that please you?" he asked, his voice like shimmersilk in her ear. She could only nod in response. Her breathing gradually slowed and she turned her head to look at him. Her smile had a definite wicked edge to it.

"My turn."

A few minutes later, he was the one lying flat on his back as she rained kisses all over his chest. She followed the path he had taken earlier in reverse, inching her way ever so slowly down his body. She wasn't in the mood to tease as he had done and he moaned as her mouth sucked him in almost to the base.

"Oh, gods, _Mara!_"

His hands were tangled in her hair and his head rolled from side to side on the mattress as her lips and tongue worked him as expertly as any courtesan might have done. He was gasping for air and still unsatisfied as she finally raised her head and gave him a seductive smile.

**I need you inside me.** Her voice sang inside his head, almost as intimate as the act she'd just performed.

**Oh, _yes_. Right now,** he sent back, an edge of desperation coloring his senses.

Mara raised herself up slowly and Luke watched, mesmerized, as she stretched upwards. She carefully placed her knees on either side of his hips and hovered above him. Luke felt sweat break out of every pore of his body, the anticipation about to kill him. He looked up at her eyes and groaned at the teasing glint there. _Payback time, _he thought to himself, but he almost looked forward to it.

"What do you want, Skywalker?" she asked, her voice husky with desire.

"You," he answered hoarsely.

"You've got to be a little more specific than that, Farmboy," she said with a grin.

Luke grinned back at her. He couldn't let her think she had to be in control of everything. He needed to reassert his command of the situation, so to speak. He reached out and took her hand gently in his. Her eyes met his in surprise, but she didn't resist him. He guided their hands to his erection and curled both of them around it, stroking it, speaking softly as he did so.

"I want this…"

Their hands moved up slightly to palm the mound that was hovering so close and she gasped and closed her eyes as he deftly slipped one of his fingers barely inside her.

"…in here."

She had lost the ability to speak or even send her thoughts to him. All she could do was nod and whimper as he pulled their hands apart and raised the finger that had been a part of her so briefly to his mouth and kissed it.

"Now," he whispered.

She couldn't deny him or herself any longer. She lowered her hips until she felt the tip of him brush against her entrance. He gave a muffled little groan as the head slipped inside. Torturously slowly, he filled her as she slid down. For an eternity, they lay there frozen, barely breathing, as they were finally joined completely. Luke's hands settled on her hips and urged her to move.

"Please, Mara," he moaned and he realized he wasn't as much in control as he thought he was. He hadn't known how much he _needed_ her until this moment. He pushed those thoughts away for the time being. Neither of them was quite ready to deal with all that just yet.

Mara rocked her hips forward slowly and both of them gasped aloud at the rush of sensation. Luke's hands drifted upwards to her breasts as she moved sinuously over him. She leaned forward so that he could take her nipple into his mouth. One hand teased the other nipple as his other hand splayed against her back, tracing a line down her spine to caress the curve of her buttock.

Her movements grew faster and more frantic as Mara began to get closer to that perfect moment again. Luke stared at her as she began to moan softly, her pleasure making his own seem much more intense. To his extreme delight, she cried out his first name again as she reached the pinnacle. She collapsed onto his chest, breathing heavily.

He rolled her over smoothly, staying inside her the whole time. "I'm not done with you yet," he murmured, even though he was about to burst with the need to climax.

She looked up at him in surprise as he began to thrust into her slowly. Her eyes fluttered closed and she arched up into him.

"But you--"

"I'm not finishing until you're too exhausted to breathe, until you can't take any more. Can you handle that, Jade?" he taunted teasingly.

She brought her hands up and grasped the sides of his head, kissing him hard and biting his lower lip just a little beyond gently.

"Bring it on, Farmboy," she whispered with an impish smile.

Two hours later, they conceded the fact that their little competition might fairly be considered a draw. Luke had indeed exhausted Mara, bringing her to satisfaction numerous times until she very nearly begged him to stop. Her body was quivering from pleasure but Luke knew she would never utter the words and finally, he couldn't hold himself back any longer.

When he did allow himself to finish, it was almost painful in its intensity and he ended up as exhausted as she was. They lay still tangled together for a long time, as their bodies cooled and their heart rates returned to normal. Eventually, he worried that he was too heavy and he rolled off of her and they both lay there, staring up at the ceiling, basking in the glow of satisfaction surrounding them.

They drifted off to sleep, their hands clasped together. When Luke awoke, he squinted an eye at his chrono and realized they'd been asleep for two hours. He'd never slept that long in the middle of the day. Mara stretched languorously beside him as she came back to reality.

"Stars, I have wanted that for so long," Mara said.

This surprised Luke. Not the fact that she had wanted this between them--he'd felt the sparks between them for weeks now--but that she would admit it out loud. As intense as the lovemaking had been, they had both carefully kept their personal shields in place. Neither of them had ever been with another Force-sensitive person before and the prospect frightened them, although they would die rather than acknowledge the fact. At least, Luke was sure Mara felt that way. He had found himself very tempted to reach out to her with the Force several times in the last few hours and had only restrained himself because he'd feared what her reaction might have been.

Now, at her statement, he looked over at her in curiosity. He levered himself up onto his elbow, propping his head in his hand. With his free hand, he reached over and idly began tracing circles on her stomach.

"You have, hmm? How long, exactly?"

She looked into his eyes, her expression utterly serious for a moment. "Since Myrkr."

He looked at her in shock and his hand stilled on her abdomen. "Really?" he asked, his confusion showing. She nodded, but didn't speak. His gaze became too intense and she turned her head away. Luke almost groaned in frustration. He didn't want this to be a one-time affair, but he instinctively knew that he would have his work cut out for him breaking through her many barriers. _Best lighten the mood a bit, _he mused to himself.

"You know," he drawled carelessly, "the blaster in my ear might not have been the best way to show that."

She smacked him in the chest in amused irritation and he could read the relief in her eyes that the serious moment had passed.

"I didn't want to show you, Skywalker! I barely understood what I was feeling at all. And for you, of all people."

He frowned at her. "You had no problems calling me Luke a little while ago."

"I was distracted a little while ago."

He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. "Do you think you might do it again if I…distracted you some more?" he whispered.

"Maybe," she said with a smile as he leaned down to kiss her again.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Schmoopy, Solo/Skywalker family chapter...in other words, no smut in this one, LOL.

* * *

Luke stood nervously in front of Han and Leia's door the next evening, trying to tighten down his emotions. This task was going to be difficult as it was--he certainly needed to be calm to confront it.

Mara had left his apartment early this morning to meet back up with Karrde, promising that she would return as soon as she could. He had had to resist the temptation to hold on to her and beg her not to go. They had discussed it and decided to keep their relationship quiet for now. He frowned over that word…_relationship. _It was an inadequate choice for the way he felt. But what else could they call it? An affair? That sounded cheap and tawdry, like it was only about the sex.

And while the sex had been the most incredible experience of his life, that wasn't all that he wanted from Mara. His frown turned into a somewhat dumbfounded expression as he understood that he wanted _everything _with Mara. He was completely in love with her. The frown returned as he realized the daunting prospect he faced. Luke had been hurt badly by Callista, leaving him a little slow to trust women in romantic relationships, but Mara… Well, Mara had a hard time trusting anyone, period.

He sighed in frustration as he pondered the confusing state of his love life. And then he realized he'd been standing outside Leia's door for a good ten minutes. If she had sensed his presence, she'd definitely be wondering what was going on with her brother.

His twin sister…that was another problem entirely. He adored Leia, practically worshipped the ground she walked on, but she could be a tad over-protective sometimes. Luke smiled ruefully at what could probably be considered the understatement of the century.

Leia was definitely going to be hurt at the way he'd cut her off yesterday, but more than that, she was going to demand to know what had been going on. Luke had a very hard time lying to his twin, which is why he didn't do it very often. Well, with the exception of trying to hide injuries from her. Even that didn't work very well as she always found out eventually.

Squaring his shoulders, Luke told himself he would just have to do what he had to do. He buzzed the door signal, bracing himself mentally as he did so. The door slid open a few moments later to reveal his brother-in-law. Luke smiled a little nervously at Han.

"Hi, Han."

"Hey, Kid," Han replied with a knowing smirk on his face. "Boy, are you in trouble."

Luke winced. "Is she very mad?"

"This is Leia we're talkin' about. What do you think?" Han snorted. He raised an eyebrow as he considered Luke. "Care to fill me in on the big secret?"

"No, I think I'd better talk to Leia first. If she's already mad, I don't want to make it worse."

"Suit yourself," Han shrugged, although Luke could tell he was extremely curious. Han stood to one side and gestured for Luke to come in. "She's in the kitchen."

"Thanks."

Luke steeled himself and walked towards the Solo's kitchen, sending a tentative little Force tendril ahead of him to gauge her mood. He almost faltered mid-step when he felt her anger. _Oh boy, this might be harder than I thought._

When he stepped into the kitchen, Leia had her back to him, stirring something on the heating unit. She turned her head briefly to glare at him before turning back around, her whole body stiff with anger and, he could sense, a little hurt.

"Leia, I'm sorry," he said, figuring he'd better get that out of the way first thing.

"Hummph," she muttered, still not turning to face him.

Walking up beside her, he hesitantly laid a hand on her shoulder. "Truly, I'm really sorry--"

She turned then to face him sharply, causing his hand to fall from her shoulder. "Do you have any idea how much it hurts me when you do that?" she ground out and Luke could see the tears shimmering in her eyes. "I have never done that to you and if you knew how it felt, you would never do it to me."

"You act as though I do this all the time," he said, frowning a little in confusion.

"You do, Luke! This was a little more obvious, but you've been shutting me out a lot, especially since…" she paused a moment. "Since Callista left." She saw the familiar flare of hurt in his eyes at the mention of that name, but oddly it didn't seem as strong as it normally did.

Luke didn't know what to say. He would never intentionally shut his sister out--well, except for yesterday, anyway. Looking down at the floor, he mentally reviewed his actions over the last year or so and he realized to his dismay that she was right.

But things weren't as simple as she wanted them to be. His sister and Han had been so lucky to be able to work through all their differences and make a life together and sometimes Luke was just plain…jealous. He hated feeling that way, but it was there and he couldn't deny it. How to tell her this without hurting her even more? He sighed and decided the only way to avoid shutting her out was to be honest with her…well, up to a point.

He looked back up to meet her gaze. Her expression had become slightly anxious as he'd stood there, not saying anything. "I never mean to shut you out, Leia. It's just so hard sometimes, seeing you and Han and the kids. You're all so happy and I…" he trailed off and realized in horror that there were tears gathering in _his _eyes. _Oh, great, Skywalker, you are such a nerf._

Leia smiled and reached out to embrace him. "Oh, little brother, you are not a nerf."

_Oh, sith, she picked that up? Better tighten my shields a little better or I'll never make it through this._ He subtly strengthened his barriers a bit as she leaned back to take a look at him. She sighed dramatically.

"Why can I never stay angry at you?"

"Because you love me?" Luke said with a grin, relieved that the crisis seemed to have passed. He sobered and said, "I'm really sorry if I've been doing that, Leia. I'll try not to anymore."

"Just remember that I love you, little brother, and I will always be here to help you."

"Who says you're older?"

"I do. Now, what was going on with you yesterday?"

"Umm…" he stalled.

"Luke…" she said in a warning tone.

Sith, he should have known he wouldn't get off that easily. How much to tell her? He had to give her something or she'd never let the subject go.

"I was with someone."

"And? You couldn't talk to me just because someone was in your apartment?" she demanded.

Luke sighed and looked her in the eye. "Leia, I was _with _someone," he said, pointedly.

"You said that alre--Oh!" She blushed, suddenly getting his meaning. "Oh!" she said again.

Luke smiled softly as he put a finger under her chin and gently closed her mouth, which she hadn't even realized was hanging open in astonishment.

She looked at him closely as a tiny frown furrowed her brow. "Was it Callista?" she asked quietly, not certain if she wanted the answer to be yes or no. On the one hand, she understood how much Luke had loved the former Jedi, but on the other, she never wanted to see him go through the heartache he had suffered last year again.

Luke gave a funny little half-smile at her assumption. "No, it's not Callista. She's gone and she's not coming back. I know that now."

"Then who is she?"

Okay, here was the tricky part. "I'd rather not say right now."

"_What?" _Leia shouted in disbelief. Luke shared everything with her--everything!

"Please don't get upset. It's nothing to do with you. It's just that…it's a very new thing and neither of us is sure where it's going and we'd just like some time to figure that out by ourselves," he said, his words coming out in a rush.

She got a knowing gleam in her eye. "Is she someone I know?" she asked, slyly.

Okay, _here _was the tricky part. If he said yes, her mind would take about half a nanosecond to leap to Mara Jade, since she was the only other single female Leia knew that Luke spent any time with. If he said no, he was afraid she'd see right through his lie.

Taking a deep breath, he lied right to his twin's face. "No, she's not."

He felt her Force sense reaching out to try and read him and struggled to make sure that she saw what he wanted her to see. With anyone but Leia, this would not be a problem, but their bond was so strong, it was almost like trying to lie to himself. He felt a twinge of guilt, but really, how much did his sister need to know about his sex life?

"Oh," she finally said, a little disappointed that she would remain in the dark about Luke's new love interest.

"Well, how long are you planning to keep her a secret?" she asked as Luke breathed an inward sigh of relief.

"I don't know. Just have to wait and see how it goes, I guess," he shrugged.

"She'd better not hurt you, little brother. I'd hate to have to break her legs," Leia teased.

_Oh, wouldn't that be an interesting contest? _Luke thought to himself in amusement. "Who says you're older? Don't worry so much about me. I'm thirty-one, not eighteen anymore, remember?"

"I can't help it," she sighed as she gave him a big hug. "I guess part of me is always going to see that naïve, but enthusiastic young boy who burst into my cell and announced that he was rescuing me."

Luke smiled as he returned the hug. "Trust me, I'm all grown up now."

Han poked his head into the kitchen and broke into a grin when he saw them embracing. He hated it when Luke and Leia argued. He always felt pulled in both directions as he could usually see both sides of the story.

"All right, everything's hunky-dory again. Can we eat now?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Nothing much happens in this chapter, but there is more smuttiness! Enjoy!

* * *

The insistent buzzing of his comm unit finally woke Luke. He looked over at his chrono and frowned when he saw that it was 0135. _Who in the blazes…_

Shuffling over to answer it, Luke found himself hoping that nothing was wrong. He knew it wasn't Leia, as he would have sensed something, so that also ruled out Han and the kids. It couldn't be Mara as she wasn't due back for three more days. _Oh, please, not a mission right now, _he hoped and then felt slightly ashamed. He was a Jedi; his first duty should be to helping those in need.

_But Mara's due back in three days and I haven't seen her in almost two weeks! _They had been 'seeing' each other for about two months and in that time, there had only been about nine days with the two of them actually in the same place at the same time. Still, he knew that he would do what he must if this was a call for the Jedi Master rather than just plain Luke. He brushed his hands through his unruly hair and activated the comm unit.

"Took you long enough, Skywalker."

"Mara!" he exclaimed in delight.

"Did I wake you, Farmboy? I hope you were dreaming about me," she teased.

"As a matter of fact, I was. Where are you?" He could see that she was still on the _Jade's Fire _and he hoped she wasn't endangering herself by taking time out to call him.

She got a very mischievous look on her face as she answered. "I am just about to land on docking bay 437 on Coruscant."

A surge of pure joy went straight through him. "Really? I'll come meet you--"

"No, no, not a good idea. I'll come to your apartment."

"Why is it not a good idea?" he asked, a bit disappointed.

"Because, Jedi, I am not going to be able to restrain myself from kissing you passionately the moment I see you and I don't want an audience for our reunion," she said, her voice nearly purring.

A surge of pure desire went straight through him. "Hurry," he said hoarsely.

Luke paced back and forth in front of his door, checking the chrono on his wall for what had to be the hundredth time. She had called almost thirty minutes ago. Surely she should be here by now? He was on the verge of throwing some clothes on and going out to look for her when he sensed her presence coming down the hall. He forced himself to wait until she was right outside before he opened the door.

Mara didn't say a word as she flung the bag she was carrying to the floor and jumped into his arms. Their mouths met in a passionate, desperate kiss as Luke's arm flailed out and hit the panel to close his door. Her weight propelled him backwards into the wall of his foyer as she continued attempting to devour him with her mouth.

Her hands unzipped her flight jacket and she shrugged out of it, dropping it carelessly to the floor. Luke's hands were cupping the sides of Mara's face and he tried to pull away from her mouth for a moment.

"Bedroom--" he managed to say against her lips, because she wouldn't let go.

"No bedroom. Right here. Need you now!" she muttered.

Oh… well… he could do that. He turned them around so that she was the one pinned to the wall. He pushed the front of her tunic up and unsnapped her bra with the Force. _Thank goodness for front snaps, _he mused and then he had no time to think anymore. His mouth found her breasts, teasing and suckling until she was moaning with desire.

Her hands yanked his sleep pants down until they pooled at his ankles. Thankfully, that was all he wore, because Mara might have ripped apart any additional clothing. She caressed the already hard length of him and he moaned into her chest. He used the Force again to unzip her pants, pushing them down and pulling them off. Luke started to bend down to help her out of her boots, but she wound her hand in his hair and pulled him back up.

"No time for that. I need you right now!" He grinned at her impatience and obliged her. Hooking her right leg over his arm, he moved forward, smoothly entering her. Mara whimpered as she let her head fall forward to his shoulder. Luke groaned and reveled in the feeling of coming home.

He began to move, slowly at first and then faster and faster as their excitement grew. Reaching down, Luke hooked her other leg with his arm so that she couldn't move at all, just go along for the amazing ride he was taking her on.

To his satisfaction, she screamed his first name again as she came and he responded a few seconds later by moaning hers in return. She hung limply in his arms for a long moment, both of them trying to catch their breath. Luke pulled away from the wall, still holding her, and carried her over to the couch, stepping out of his sleep pants as he did so. He fell backwards onto it so that she was sitting on his lap.

She snuggled into his shoulder before raising her head to look at him sleepily.

"Hi."

"Hi, yourself."

"Missed you."

"Missed you, too."

Mara lowered her head back to his shoulder with a sigh. After a few minutes, Luke realized she was sound asleep. He chuckled softly. She had to have flown for about two days straight to get here as quickly as she had. She was probably exhausted. Carefully, he pulled her tunic and her bra off. With some twisted maneuvering, he was able to remove her boots. He slid sideways to lie down on the couch, letting her rest on his chest. He reached up for the blanket he kept hanging over the back of the couch and covered them up. She slumbered on, oblivious.

He inhaled her scent deeply, his heart practically leaping at having her here with him. In only a few minutes, he, too, was sound asleep.

* * *

"So what did you tell Leia about us?"

Luke looked down at her in disbelief. He was sitting on the couch, having awakened to Mara's kisses. She was kneeling on the floor in front of him, where she had been making him _very _happy and she had paused to ask that?

"I'd rather not be thinking of my sister right now, thank you," he said.

Mara smiled and took him into her mouth again. He put one hand on the back of her head and groaned with pleasure. Stopping again, she looked up at him expectantly and he groaned with frustration.

"I told her you were crazy about me, but that I was just using you for sex," he grinned, but then yelped in pain as she took a little nip of him with her teeth.

_Mental note, _he thought, _not a good idea to tease Mara Jade when she's got your manhood in her mouth. _

**Not a good idea to tease Mara Jade anytime, Farmboy**, she smirked as she picked up on his thought. Luke stuck his tongue out at her.

**Promises, promises,** she sent with a wicked grin.

"Really, what did you tell her?" she asked aloud.

Luke sighed and reached down to hook her under the arms. He pulled her upwards and slowly lowered her down onto himself. She gave a little moan as she began to grind her hips into his, gripping his shoulders tightly.

"I told her…_mmm_…that I was…_ahhh_…with someone…but I didn't…_ohh, yes…_tell her who," Luke spoke brokenly, nearly lost in the pleasure that she was giving him.

Mara must have been satisfied with his answer as she didn't ask any more questions, but she probably found it difficult to think when he took her nipple in his mouth and suckled. She drove her hands into his hair, pressing him closer.

They were trying to take it slower this time after that amazing, but far too short, experience in his hallway. Luke broke away from her breast to look up at her face. Watching until he could tell she was getting close and, he quickly rolled sideways, taking her beneath him and began to thrust long and deep. At the same time, he found her mouth and kissed her hard.

Luke felt it when she climaxed and was unable to resist joining her. She'd had him so close with her mouth earlier that it only took three deep thrusts and he was crying her name as he emptied himself inside her.

They lay still for a long moment and then he shifted around to let her lie on his chest, much as they'd fallen asleep last night. Mara lay with her ear on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as it gradually returned to a normal rhythm. Luke's hand came up from the floor where he'd flung it and grasped hers, their fingers intertwining.

Mara studied their joined hands for a long moment before turning her head to gaze at his face. He had his eyes closed and he looked utterly peaceful. As if he felt her stare, he opened his eyes and looked at her. They each smiled slowly, feeling content.

Luke was amazed at the feelings and emotions welling up inside him. This felt so _right, _being here with her. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Mara, I…" he paused as he saw the panic flare up in her eyes. She wasn't ready to hear this, he realized. Maybe he wasn't even ready to say it. He wanted everything from her, but he understood that she simply wasn't able to do that yet. He longed to reach out to her with the Force, but he feared that would frighten her even more. _Slowly, Skywalker, slowly, _he reminded himself. "I really missed you."

He saw the visible relief in her eyes as she returned his gaze. "Missed you, too, Skywalker."

He frowned at her, his expression turning playfully petulant. "Are you only going to call me by my first name when we're having sex?"

She tilted her head slightly to the side as though she were in deep thought and then nodded slowly. "Probably, yeah."

She shrieked as his hand snuck around her body and goosed her down low. That began a tickling war that only ended when both of them were gasping for breath from laughing so hard. Mara ran her hand appreciatively over his firm chest.

"You really do have a beautiful body, Skywalker," she murmured.

"Compliments?" Luke said in a mock-surprised tone. "But so do you, Jade."

He ran his hands down her back and flared them over her hips. Interested now, they began a more thorough exploration of each others' bodies, something they hadn't made the time for up 'til this point. Luke gave a happy cry at the tiny beauty mark that nestled just below her left shoulder blade. She shivered in delight as he kissed it and pronounced it his.

As they admired one another, they also couldn't help but notice the many scars that each of them had. The exploration turned into an 'I can top that' contest on how they had acquired those marks.

"Ord Mantell. Damn bounty hunter snuck up on me with a vibroblade because he'd mistaken me for a bounty. Naturally, he soon realized his error," Mara said with a smirk as Luke ran his finger along a ridge of skin that marked the back of her upper right shoulder. He smiled in tolerant amusement at her boast.

She reached up to his face and traced a scar that was on the underside of his jaw close to his ear on the right side. "And this one?" she asked.

To her surprise, his eyes clouded over and she could sense him pulling away from her a bit. Luke was silent for so long, Mara thought he wasn't going to answer. When his reply came, it was almost inaudible.

"Bespin."

With only the word, the emotions rolled back over him, nearly as strongly as they had ten years ago. Sometimes, he didn't think he would ever get over it completely; the shock , the rage, the sheer pain. Mara watched as those same emotions flitted across his face even now. She sat quietly, unsure what to say. She hadn't understood how deeply that day had affected him, how it affected him still, until this moment. Luke's eyes met hers and she almost cringed at the pain and sadness that she saw there.

Luke had never spoken in detail of that day to anyone, not even Leia. His family and close friends knew the basic facts; that he had dueled Vader; had lost a hand, as well as his innocence, and even his faith for a short time. So Mara was surprised when he began to talk. He told her everything that had happened that day. He told her of his arrogance, his fears, his devastation. And he told her how he'd come by the scar.

"It was after I had refused to join him and I could see no other way out. There was no other option. It was him or it was death," he said, his voice a monotone. "I chose death."

Shuddering, he closed his eyes, the memories sharp and furious against his spirit. He continued as he opened his eyes, but he didn't look at her. The whole time he had been speaking, his gaze had been focused on some nonexistent spot on the ceiling. "As I started to fall from the beam I was standing on, I slipped and the side of my chin hit the railing I'd been holding onto. I barely noticed it at the time. My whole right arm was in agony."

"Why-" Mara paused to clear her throat. She hadn't even realized she was getting choked up listening to his tale. "Why does that scar affect you so? Isn't this one worse?" she asked quietly as she gently stroked his artificial hand.

He glanced down at her hand on his and frowned. "It's…different. This one-" he indicated his jaw with his left hand "-is a reminder."

"In what way?" she asked, a little confused. One would think that a bionic hand would be a terrible reminder.

Luke sighed as he tried to figure out a way to explain the difference he saw to her. "My father did this," he said as he held up his right hand. "_I_ did this," he said, touching the scar on his jaw again. "It reminds me that I made the right choice," he whispered.

Mara leaned forward onto his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. They lay there quietly for a time and then she softly kissed the scar.

"You usually do make the right choices, Luke," she said.

Luke smiled at her conscious use of his first name and squeezed her tightly to himself, vowing silently that he was never going to let her go.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Not much happening here, but Luke gets to ruminate a bit...

* * *

"Mmmm. I could stay right here with you all day," Mara murmured as she snuggled up against him. They had moved to the bedroom sometime mid-morning and had stayed there until lunch. Luke had cooked for her, much to her delight, and then they had moved back into the bedroom. He didn't think he could ever get enough of her.

Unfortunately, real life had to intervene. Sighing in disappointment, he said, "As much as I would love to be able to do that, I have a doctor's appointment at 1600."

She raised her head and looked at him in surprise. "_You _have a doctor's appointment? I thought you hated medcenters and would go to any lengths to avoid them," she teased.

He scowled at her playfully. "Well, normally, I do. But at least once a year, I have to go see Dr. Mondahl about this," he said as he held up the bionic hand.

"What, like regular check-ups?"

"Yeah, he's the one that put it on there, and he likes to look at it every once in a while, make sure everything's still working like it should. Plus, Leia makes me go."

"She _makes _you go?" Mara said with a raised eyebrow. Somehow, she had a hard time envisioning anyone _making _Luke Skywalker do anything.

Luke lapsed into a hilarious imitation of his sister, holding up one finger and shaking it at the ceiling. "Luke Skywalker, you know I only want what's best for you. Now if you ever want to be able to use that hand again, you will go see Dr. Mondahl. Here, I've already made your appointment. Don't be late!"

Mara rolled with laughter at the high-pitched tone he affected and he chuckled along with her.

"By the way, don't ever tell her I did that," he said.

"Oh, I don't know…I can just imagine the look on her face."

Luke's face showed his horror and Mara wasn't quite sure if he was teasing or not. "No, I'm serious, she would kill me. And Han would never let me live it down."

She decided to let the subject drop as she rolled over and plopped down on top of him, planting a lingering kiss on his mouth as she did so. "How long will this appointment take you?"

"Shouldn't be too long, but I have to go to Leia's apartment afterwards. She always wants an update on what Dr. Mondahl says," Luke admitted with a little wince.

"Skywalker, you have _got_ to get out from under your sister's thumb," she said as she shook her head in disbelief.

"Hey, I'm not under her thumb-" he broke off as Mara gave him a knowing look. "Well, not completely. Leia is just very…determined."

"I'm sorry, did you say 'dominating'? Because that's what I heard."

"That is not funny. And it's not true, either. It's just easier to let her have her way sometimes than it is to argue with her." Luke looked up at her uncertainly. "You could, uh, come with me to her place. I usually have dinner with her and Han and the kids afterwards."

Mara frowned at the thought of dinner at the Solo's. "No, I don't think that would be a good idea. This relationship is supposed to be a secret, remember?"

"It doesn't _have _to be-"

Mara leapt up off of him and the bed and stalked over to where her clothes were. "We agreed on this, Skywalker. I am not comfortable sharing the fact that we're involved. I can just hear the comments. The Jedi Master and the former Emperor's Hand? I'm not dealing with all that. If you can't understand that-"

Luke sat up quickly. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bring it up again. I just hate the idea of sneaking around."

Mara paused in the middle of pulling her boots on, her back to him. Her whole body was stiff with irritation and - Luke reached out with the Force tentatively, trying to read her mood - a little fear. She whirled around to glare at him and the fear quickly melted into anger.

"Don't do that, Jedi!" she snarled as her barriers tightened even more, blocking him out completely.

Luke sighed as he flopped back down onto the mattress. "Again, I'm sorry, Mara. I don't want to argue with you. Please?" He was silently cursing himself. _Sithspawn stupid Farmboy! Remember, slowly! You mess this up and you'll likely never see her again! _"When do you have to report back to the _Wild Karrde_?"

She stared at him, her green eyes glinting with her annoyance for a long moment. "Tomorrow. 1900."

"Will you be here when I get back from Leia's tonight?"

She didn't answer as she turned to grab her flight jacket from the back of a chair. Luke felt panic begin to well up in him. _That's it, Skywalker, you blew it._

She turned to face him. "I have some work to do at my place. You can meet me there when you're done at your boss's, _sorry_, your sister's place."

He grinned at her in relief. She was teasing; he was forgiven. She walked forward briskly and gave him a too-brief kiss before turning to leave. He had to bite his lip to keep from blurting out _I love you_ as she did. She smiled at him as she left the room.

"See you soon, Skywalker."

"I can't wait, Jade."

* * *

Luke glanced down at his wrist chrono as he stepped onto the turbolift that would take him to Dr. Mondahl's office. He was a few minutes early, but that was okay. Normally, Dr. Mondahl didn't make him wait very long. He had been seeing Luke for the bionic hand for almost ten years now and Luke felt comfortable in his office. Dr. Mondahl usually tried to schedule as few other appointments on the day of Luke's visit as possible so that Luke wouldn't be besieged by admirers in the waiting room. 

He stepped into the cheery front room of Dr. Mondahl's office. Glancing around, he saw only three other people in the room; there was an old man sitting in the corner, half asleep, and a young mother with a little boy about five years old. She was reading a holozine and the little boy was playing with a toy speeder. He smiled as he walked up to the receptionist's window.

"Hi, Beki. Have you missed me?" he whispered.

Beki Andray was a human from Alderaan and she had been Dr. Mondahl's receptionist for as long as Luke had been a patient, and undoubtedly for at least twenty years longer than that. The older woman blushed slightly as she smiled at Luke.

"Luke, you rascal. Is it that time of year already? I didn't even notice."

"Oh, Beki, you wound me. You didn't miss me at all?"

She reached out and lightly smacked his shoulder as she pulled his datapad down from a shelf above her at the same time. "You know I did." She made a notation before setting the datapad aside where the doctor could pick it up. "He's running just a little behind today. He's training a new partner."

"Really? I didn't know he was taking on a partner."

"Well, he's not getting any younger, you know. This young man came highly recommended. His name is Viktor Berdin and I think you'll like him."

"Hmm." Luke made a noncommittal noise.

"I don't believe you'll have to wait too long. I'll come and get you when he's ready."

"Thanks, Beki."

He turned away from her and looked around the room. He walked over and sat across from the young mother and son, but a few seats down so they weren't facing each other directly. Idly, he picked up one of the holozines and looked at the front cover. He grimaced and put it down quickly when his own face stared back up at him. He looked through the rest of them lying on the small table and finally found one that centered on smashball. Surely, there would be no mention of his name in _that _one.

He was reading about the latest controversy surrounding the Coruscant team's best goalkeeper when something hit his foot. He looked down to see two curious brown eyes staring back up at him. The little boy reached out a hand for his toy speeder at the same time that Luke reached down for it himself. Luke's hand got there first and he handed the toy back to the child, smiling at him softly.

The boy grinned back at him a little shyly as he accepted the speeder.

"Luke, don't bother the nice man," the boy's mother said, briefly looking up from her holozine.

The elder Luke couldn't help but start in surprise. "Your name is Luke?" he quietly asked the little boy.

Little Luke nodded. "My momma named me after Luke Skywalker."

"Why?" Luke asked in amazement. The notion of a total stranger naming her child after him was a completely foreign concept.

"He saved my momma's life when she had me in her tummy."

Luke was floored. He had no idea what to say to his little namesake, especially since he was certain, after a covert inspection, that he didn't remember the child's mother. He cleared his throat self-consciously and tried again to recall if he'd ever seen the young woman before. She was pretty, with dark-blonde hair like her son, but not unusually so. There wasn't anything about her that sparked his memory.

"Um, has your momma ever told you how Luke Skywalker saved her life?"

Little Luke's face brightened and he gave Luke a huge smile. "Oh, yes! It's one of my favorite bedtime stories."

"What happened, then?" Luke asked, unable to resist smiling back at the boy's infectious grin.

"Well, my momma used to live on Calius and my daddy was off-planet because of his biz-ness." Luke smiled at the boy's pronunciation of the word 'business.' "Momma was working for Mr. Tanders at his store and it was her job to take the credits to the big bank after the store closed up. One night, some really mean, nasty, bad guys tried to steal the credits from my momma before she could get to the big bank."

Little Luke's face fell into a fierce scowl as he told this part of the story and Luke took care to match his expression.

"We don't like the really mean, nasty, bad guys," he whispered to his amused audience.

"Of course not," Luke agreed solemnly.

"So then, they were threatening to hurt my momma--" Little Luke broke off and his lower lip trembled. "This is the sad part."

"I'm sorry," Luke said sincerely.

"They said they were gonna kill her, even though they could tell that she had a baby in her tummy." He paused again in his tale. "That was me," he said with a conspiratorial air. Luke nodded, having to hold back his grin again.

"Then…" Little Luke paused and his eyes sparkled with delight as he got to his favorite part of the tale. "Momma heard a funny noise and the really mean, nasty, bad guys turned around. Luke Skywalker was there an' he had his _lightsaber." _Little Luke said the word with an enormous amount of awe in his tone and again Luke had to bite back his grin. "The really mean, nasty, bad guys tried to shoot Luke Skywalker with their blasters…"

At this point, Little Luke imitated the sound of blasters firing. Luke couldn't hold back the smile this time. "…but Luke Skywalker blocked all of 'em with his lightsaber!" Now the blaster sounds were followed up by the humming of a lightsaber blade and Little Luke jumped up to wave around an imaginary Jedi weapon of his own.

"Luke, calm down and stop bothering the man," the boy's mother said and glanced up at the two of them. Luke managed to keep the groan of dismay to himself as her eyes widened in recognition. "You, you're--" she stammered as she sat up straight, the holozine dropping to the floor.

Luke held a hand up as he said, "Yes, I am. It's all right. Luke's not bothering me at all." He frowned a moment and tilted his head to the side as he gazed at her. "Calius. Now I remember. I ran into you a few minutes before I had to leave in a hurry," he said with a smile, as he remembered having to shake Thrawn's tail in escaping the planet. "I'm glad that I was able to help you out and I'm honored by the way you chose to remember me," he said, with a nod of his head towards the small boy standing in front of him.

"I…well, you not only saved my life that day. You saved his, too."

"Hey, you didn't let me finish my story!" Little Luke said, somewhat indignantly.

"I'm sorry, go ahead, Luke," the Jedi Master said indulgently.

"So then, Luke Skywalker charged them with his lightsaber and cut up all their blasters. The really mean, nasty, bad guys got so scared, they all ran away and never bothered my momma again," Little Luke finished his story triumphantly.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Again, not too much smut-wise happening in this chapter, but what does happen is fairly important for plot points later on, hehe! I promise the smut will return soon.

* * *

Luke smiled at his namesake as he completed his tale. He had only rarely wondered about the fate of the many nameless people he had somehow helped in his career as a Jedi and to actually meet one of them several years after the fact was an enlightening experience. His thoughts suddenly wandered to what a child created by himself and Mara would look like…would they name a little boy after him?

"Luke? Dr. Mondahl is ready for you now."

He looked up at Beki, a little startled and realized he'd been lost in his own thoughts. He glanced over at Little Luke's mother and smiled somewhat self-consciously when she was still staring at him, obviously trying to contain her awe.

"Thanks, Beki. It was nice to have met you, Miss…" he trailed off questioningly.

"Uh, Corman. Aneta Corman and you met Luke already," she said, blushing a little as she mentioned her son's name.

"Aneta," Luke nodded in acknowledgement. "And Luke, you take good care of your momma, all right?" he smiled at the little boy. Little Luke grinned proudly back at him.

Luke stood and followed Beki to the examination rooms at the back of the doctor's offices, still contemplating having met a child who had been named for him. It boggled his mind, although he supposed he shouldn't be too surprised. After all, people named their children after holosoap stars. Luke had always been incredibly modest about his accomplishments, but at the same time, he understood that his life held a fascination for many of the galaxy's citizens. He had never imagined, though, that someone would name their _child _after him. That seemed like such an important part of life to him.

He remembered well how Leia had agonized over whether or not to give the name Anakin to her youngest son. There was a lot of baggage that came with saddling an infant with someone else's name, especially when not everything that someone had done was exactly worthy of the honor. Luke recalled his mistakes in dealing with the Dark Side and wondered if Aneta had come to regret naming her child after him in the light of those incidents.

Luke wondered if he was becoming callous to how others saw him. To him, the incident on Calius had been just something that he always did, so usual that he had had to try and recall the occasion. Obviously, to Aneta, it had meant everything. Not only her life, but the life that had been growing inside her at the time as well.

His musings were interrupted as Dr. Mondahl greeted him heartily.

"Luke, my boy! Wonderful to see you. How's that sister and brother-in-law of yours? And the children?"

Luke gave a genuine smile, something that few people ever saw. He had become quite practiced at the Jedi Master face, but he had a real affection for the doctor who'd given him his bionic hand.

"Hello, Dr. Mondahl. Leia and Han are just fine and so are the kids. Growing like weeds and in the Force every day."

"You're just never going to call me Darek, are you?" Dr. Mondahl sighed.

Luke shook his head no with a grin. His Aunt Beru had drilled respect for the medical profession in his head too many times as a boy for Luke to feel comfortable taking that liberty. This was a little routine they played out every time Luke had an appointment and deep down, the Jedi appreciated the familiarity of it. Too much of his life was uncertain these days.

A movement behind the doctor caught Luke's attention and he shifted his gaze to the man standing patiently behind Mondahl. He had to look up to meet the stranger's eyes, but then that wasn't an unusual situation for Luke. Sometimes he dearly wished that he'd inherited his father's height along with Anakin's Force ability. For a brief instant, something akin to fear skated up Luke's spine as he met Viktor Berdin's gaze, but it was swiftly gone and Luke wondered if he had imagined it.

No, he didn't imagine things like that very often. The Force speaking to him? Or perhaps he was just leery of a stranger knowing the intimate details of his life as a doctor would. _Maybe I'm just getting way too introspective lately! _Han always said his brother-in-law spent way too much time 'contemplating his navel' and not enough in the real world.

With the thought that he was just overreacting, Luke forced a smile on his face and held his hand out to Dr. Mondahl's new partner. Dr. Berdin looked to be in his early forties, and he was tall, at least a head taller than Luke. He had dark hair that was slicked back on his head. His eyes were almost as dark and again Luke felt a moment of uneasiness.

"Luke Skywalker," he said, introducing himself as Dr. Berdin shook his hand. The instant Luke's skin touched the other man's, a strong sense of anger and darkness washed over him and he had to struggle to keep a straight face. _Anger at me? Or just anger in general? _He couldn't tell. _Either way, I think I'll be_ _finding a new doctor once Mondahl retires._

"Yes, of course. I can't tell you how intrigued I was when Darek said that you were a patient of his. I've followed your career with interest over the years. I'm Dr. Viktor Berdin. I don't suppose you'll be willing to call me Viktor anymore than you would call Darek by his given name?" Although his tone was polite and his words were circumspectly correct, Luke could not dispel the slight revulsion he felt.

"Sorry. Just the way I was raised, I guess," Luke said quietly.

"Well, Luke, let's take a look at your hand," Dr. Mondahl said jovially. He seemed completely unaware of the tense undercurrents between his most famous patient and his new partner.

The actual examination of Luke's prosthesis usually only took about fifteen minutes. Normally, Luke spent some time talking with Dr. Mondahl about whatever took their fancy, from politics to Mondahl's curiosity about how Luke's lightsaber worked. Today, Luke simply found himself too unnerved by Viktor Berdin's intense gaze to spend much time on small talk.

"We might need to seriously think about replacing this soon, Luke. They've made some significant improvements in prosthetic technology since you acquired this one. Do you still feel the numbness occasionally?"

"Sometimes," Luke admitted. "I rarely notice it anymore, though."

"Well, why don't we take a look at his DNA sample, Dr. Mondahl, and I can do a holonet search on what would be the best fit?" Dr. Berdin offered.

"You know, I'm not sure if I still have that on file or not, Viktor. Things were still rather hectic in the galaxy when Luke first got this hand and a lot of records were lost. Don't know why I never took another one."

"This one works just fine," Luke protested.

"Now, Master Skywalker, surely you know that we only want what is best for you? It will take but a moment," Dr. Berdin said with a smile. For some reason, that smile did nothing to ease Luke's nerves.

"Absolutely, Luke! And you know what your sister would say if she thought that we weren't giving you the best of care," Dr. Mondahl said.

Luke turned to look at Mondahl and his smile was genuine. "Well, that is true. Leia can be a little pushy sometimes."

Thinking of his twin's reputation for assertiveness made Luke think of Mara and the discussion they'd had earlier that morning. He remembered that she would be waiting for him at her apartment after his dinner at Leia's and suddenly Luke was eager in more ways than one for this appointment to be over. The sooner he was done here, the sooner he could get to Leia's. The sooner he got to Leia's, the sooner he could leave and go see the beguiling redhead who seemed to occupy his every waking thought these days.

"All right, I guess I should make sure that I keep up with the latest technology."

Luke remained silent as Dr. Berdin retrieved a needle and a vial. Again, he had to repress a sense of disquiet as the man's hands touched his skin, pushing Luke's shirt sleeve up to reveal the vein in the crook of his elbow. Luke watched the needle as it sank into his skin and then raised his eyes to look at Dr. Berdin's face.

There was an odd gleam in the doctor's eye that Luke didn't quite understand. It was almost as though he enjoyed what he was doing a little too well. And he seemed to be a bit disappointed by Luke's impassive reaction. _What, like he's expecting me to flinch at _this_? My father cut off my hand, for Force sake, not to mention the lightning bath that Palpatine so graciously gave me, _Luke thought to himself sardonically. _Yep, _definitely_ finding a new doctor, _he mused again.

Fifteen minutes later, Luke was smiling at Beki as he slid his credit chip across for her to debit the amount of his visit. They also played the usual game of her trying to not accept his credits, but Luke had always been adamant about paying his own way and not trading on his fame as the 'savior of the galaxy'. Stepping out of Dr. Mondahl's office, Luke took a deep breath, unsettled at the realization that he had felt like a bug under a microscope during his appointment. It was an unpleasant sensation and one he was not accustomed to after a visit with Dr. Mondahl.

Luke was notorious among his friends and family for despising medcenters - mostly because he was never sick, so he was usually in them because he was injured and needing a bacta tank - but he honestly didn't mind seeing Mondahl. Normally, the visit was a chance to catch up with a friend whom he didn't get to see very often.

"Well, at least I won't have to see him again for another year or so," he mumbled to himself as he pressed the button for the turbolift, knowing that he was not referring to Darek Mondahl.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Okay, in this chapter, some Skywalker/Solo family silliness, some Skywalker twin-bonding, and a little portion of Lukie-angst! Enjoy!

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"What's for dessert?" Luke asked, immediately after swallowing the last bite of Dantooinian garfish that Han had prepared. Reaching towards the middle of the table, he snagged the last piece of Leia's Alderaanian flatbread and used it to soak up the armudu-spiced butter sauce still left on his plate.

"Not that you should have any room left, but it's kitiri berries," Leia said. She looked at Luke's bare plate with a wry smile.

"Ooh, dipped in chocolate?"

"Yes," she said with an indulgent sigh.

"Yum, my favorite!" Luke said with a grin as he exaggeratingly smacked his lips.

"Hell, Luke, it's more expensive feeding you than it is the kids," Han said. He got up, heading for the kitchen to bring the dessert in to the dining room. He winked at Jacen and Jaina, sitting in their places on either side of Luke. "Don't worry, kids, I'll make sure I give you yours first so your uncle doesn't devour it all."

Luke leaned over towards his niece and loudly whispered, "You'll share your kitiri berries with me, won't you, Jaina?"

"No, Uncle Luke," Jaina giggled.

Luke turned to Jacen, but before he could even ask the question, Jacen laughed and said, "Nuh-uh, Uncle Luke!"

Leia smiled affectionately at the play between her brother and her children. Luke dramatically slumped his shoulders and heaved a huge sigh as Jaina and Jacen's peals of laughter echoed around the small room.

"Don't cry, Unca Luke! I share!" Anakin shouted from across the table. At only three and a half years old to his siblings five, he didn't quite understand that Luke wasn't serious. Anakin adored his Uncle Luke and couldn't stand to see his favorite person upset.

Luke winked at his smaller nephew and said, "I knew I could count on you, buddy."

Anakin's delighted chortles suddenly made Jacen and Jaina change their minds and the two of them began clamoring for Luke's attention, promising to share their portions of the dessert with him.

"All right, that's enough. Luke will have plenty, you three don't need to give him yours," Leia said with a mock-stern glare at her brother.

"And if I'm still hungry, maybe I could have a bit of Jaina elbow," Luke said as he took his niece's small arm and loudly pretended to gnaw on it. Jaina promptly squealed and pulled her arm away.

"NO, Uncle Luke!" she said, laughing helplessly.

"That's enough, Luke," Leia said and this time her stern look was a little more serious. Sometimes, her brother was nothing more than just an overgrown kid. She often felt like she had four children. _No, make that five,_ she thought as Han came back into the dining room with the dessert bowl and pretended to trip, acting as though he was going to spill the dish across the table. Heroically, he managed to save it just in time.

"Whew, that was a close one," Han said as he set the bowl down. "Uncle Luke might have had to start eating his plate."

By this point, the children were in hysterics and Leia found herself fighting back a smile. Luke and Han both looked at her and there was a matching mischievous twinkle in two sets of eyes. Leia gave in with a sigh and just shook her head.

Later, while Han went to give the children a bath - an ordeal that usually ended up with the bather being more drenched than the supposed bathees - and get them ready for bed, Leia and Luke sat in the living room talking quietly. Once Han got the Solo youngsters ready for bed, Leia would go and tuck them in and read them a story…or two or three, depending on how far she gave in to their begging.

"So how was your appointment with Dr. Mondahl?"

Luke straightened up from where he had been gazing into the fireplace and looked at his twin. He pondered whether he should tell her about the uneasy feelings he'd gotten from Dr. Viktor Berdin. Of course, by the time that thought crossed his mind, she had already picked up on his ambivalence.

"What's the matter?" she asked with a little frown.

Luke sighed. Sometimes, it was a bit of an annoyance having someone so closely tuned in to your feelings. Luckily, he could keep stray thoughts to himself most of the time.

"Dr. Mondahl has a new partner."

"And?" Leia prompted when he didn't say anything further.

"And…I got a very weird feeling from him. I don't think I'll go to him after Dr. Mondahl retires."

"Is Dr. Mondahl thinking that seriously about retiring?" Leia asked with some surprise.

"Well, not right away, I guess. But Beki said that he'd taken on a partner because he wasn't getting any younger. So I assume the thought has occurred to him."

"What kind of a weird feeling?" Leia asked curiously, turning the conversation back to Luke's discomfort. She knew that her brother rarely blew things out of proportion and if something was bothering him about this man, then there must be something to it.

"I can't really describe it. It was very vague and…" Luke shrugged. "I just know I didn't like him and I got the feeling he didn't like me very much either."

"Hmm. It wouldn't be the first time someone was resentful of you without even knowing you."

"That's true. Guess I should get used to that," he said with a rueful grin.

Leia laid her hand on his back and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "Well, those of us who do know you, love you very much, little brother."

Luke blushed endearingly and turned his head to kiss her on the nose. He touched his forehead to hers and whispered with that familiar twinkle in his eyes, "Who says you're older?"

"Okay, the triple terrors are in bed and waiting for a story from mom," Han said from the doorway. The twins looked up and laughed when they saw the amount of water that covered the front of Han's shirt and pants. He pointedly ignored them.

Leia stood and walked over to her husband. She reached up to pat his chest lovingly as she started to brush past him. Han caught her elbow and pulled her around to face him. He leaned down to brush a kiss over her lips before murmuring something that Luke couldn't hear, but which definitely caused a little blush to creep up Leia's cheeks. Laughing softly, she answered him in the same hushed tone.

Luke swiftly lowered his head to gaze at the floor, fighting back the ache of envy that swept through his heart. His hands clenched into tight fists as an image of Mara danced through his mind. He wanted so desperately to be able to kiss the woman he loved before she went to tuck their children into bed, whispering promises of more intimate things to come later.

Leia caught just a hint of Luke's emotion and turned her head to look at her little brother sadly. How she wished that he could find someone to share his life the way she and Han shared theirs. Things must not be working out with the mystery girlfriend whom he wouldn't talk about. A worried look touched her face as she wondered whether she should go talk to him about it. Luke hated it when she poked into his private life, but Leia honestly couldn't stand to see him so miserable.

Han placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head back up to look at him. "I'll get it this time, sweetheart," he said softly.

Leia smiled as she felt her heart swell with love for her roguish Corellian once again. After all these years together, he could read her just as well as Luke did. She nodded and kissed him again quickly before turning to go to their children.

Luke looked up as Han sat down noisily in the chair across from the sofa his brother-in-law sat on. Smiling at the man he truly considered his brother, Luke managed to push away any feelings of jealousy at the happiness his sister and Han had found. Of course, Han managed to stir them right back up.

"So, Kid, what's the deal with this mysterious woman you've been seeing behind our backs?"

Luke threw him an exasperated look. "Han-" he began in a warning tone.

"Hey, we're just curious, that's all! Don't know what's gotten into you. You never used to be so sneaky. Used to, I could tell exactly what you were thinkin' just by lookin' at your face."

"I'm not being sneaky! It's just a private thing."

"Okay, okay, don't get all mad. You know Leia gets mad at me when me and you argue, so help me out a little. C'mon, what will it hurt to tell me something about her? You don't have to tell me who she is," Han coaxed.

There was a part of Luke that dearly wanted to tell both Han and Leia everything. Sith, there was a part of him that wanted to shout his love for Mara Jade from the rooftops of Coruscant, but he couldn't do that. But maybe Han could give him some advice. After all, his brother-in-law had been fairly experienced with the opposite sex before he'd married Leia, although Luke didn't like to think about that, overprotective brother that he was.

"Well…" Luke said slowly. "It's not really me that wants to keep it a secret. It's her."

"Why?"

"She's a little nervous about getting involved with the infamous Skywalker/Solo clan."

"What, because of the publicity, the danger, the insane family dinners?"

Luke laughed in spite of himself. "Those dinners can be quite crazy, but no, it's mostly the publicity part. She's a very private person and she doesn't like the idea of strangers peering into her personal life."

"Where'd you meet her?"

"Han," Luke said in that same warning tone. "I'm not going to tell you who she is, so no trying to worm it out of me."

"Sorry, had to give it a shot," Han smirked. His face grew serious for a moment and he said, "But she knows that's something she's going to have to face if she wants to stay involved with you, right? You can't change who you are, Kid."

Luke's face took on such a look of longing and sadness that Han felt his own heart clench.

"I'm not sure she _is _willing to face it," he said softly.

"But she loves you, right?"

Although it didn't seem possible, the pain on Luke's face deepened and he looked away so Han wouldn't see the tears gathering in his eyes.

"I don't know if she does or not," he whispered.

The two of them sat there frozen for a moment, Han unsure what to say, and Luke quietly embarrassed by the strength of his own emotions. The Jedi sniffed self-consciously and roughly wiped his hand across his face.

"Aw, Kid," Han sighed quietly.

"But I love _her_, Han," Luke said as he turned to face his brother again. Han could see the intensity in the blue eyes that never failed to remind him of his own youngest son. "I love her so much that it's just exploding inside me. Sometimes…sometimes, I just look at her and I…it's like it almost overwhelms me."

Han reached out somewhat awkwardly and put his hand on Luke's shoulder. "You know we're here for you, Luke."

Luke smiled gratefully at his brother-in-law's care and concern. "Thanks. I do know that." He glanced down at his wrist chrono and gave a muttered exclamation. "Damn, I didn't realize it was so late. I was supposed to meet her this evening. I've got to go, Han. Will you say my good-byes to Leia?"

"Uh, yeah sure, Kid," Han said and before he could protest, the whirlwind that was Luke Skywalker had swept out of the apartment. Han shook his head in amusement. Almost fourteen years he'd known that kid and sometimes Han didn't think he would ever understand him.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** More smut! (Yay!) And a little more angsting, from both Mara and Luke this time, hehe.

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Luke stood outside the door to Mara's apartment, finding his earlier upset slipping away with just the thought of seeing her again. When he was apart from her, he agonized over not having a real and complete relationship. When he was with her, all he could think about was how much he loved her and how unbelievably happy he was to have even made this little bit of progress in winning her heart.

Because he had to believe that was what had happened. He had won a tiny piece of her. Mara Jade wasn't the type of woman who shared her body with just anyone. Now all he had to do was somehow convince her to share her heart as well.

When he rang the anunciator, he was surprised to feel her stretch out with the Force to determine who was calling. His smile couldn't have gotten any bigger as he touched her Force presence, letting her know he was there. It only lasted an instant before she quickly pulled away again, but Luke treasured that moment and imagined in his mind how wondrous it would be if she would only open up to him fully. _Patience, Skywalker, _he reminded himself again. Patience was not his strongest trait, but for Mara Jade? It would be well worth it.

The door slid open and Mara greeted him with her usual smirk. Poking her head out the door, she looked left then right. Luke's face showed his confusion until she grabbed him by the front of his tunic with one hand, simultaneously yanking him inside her apartment and bringing his head down so that she could kiss him passionately.

The door closed unnoticed behind him as Luke eagerly took her into his arms and deepened the kiss with a groan. After a long moment, Mara reluctantly pulled away and Luke let her know what he thought of that idea with a sullen look.

"Don't give me that sulky farmboy face. I've got a little more work to finish and then we can move on to more interesting things," she promised.

"Okay. Have you eaten? I stopped and picked up something for you on the way over."

"Well, how sweet, Jedi," she said with a laugh. "You didn't get anything for yourself?"

"Nah, Leia fed me pretty good. But I'm always open to a handout if you're willing to share," he grinned.

Mara laughed again as they moved into her living room and she walked back over to the desk where a pile of datapads lay. She sat down and said, "You can put it in the kitchen and I'll get to it in a bit. I've probably got about thirty more minutes here. Think you can amuse yourself until then?"

"I think so."

Luke walked into the kitchen and put the sandwich he'd picked up into her refrigeration unit, then wandered back into the living room. Glancing over at her, he stifled his groan of desire and impatience. The light from her desk lamp caused a soft halo to glow around her fiery hair as she bent her head to her work. She looked utterly beautiful and very desirable.

Moving over to the curio stand she had beside her sofa, he picked up a tiny figurine of a dancer. He smiled as he ran his thumb over the red hair of the piece. Mara had disguised herself as a dancer many times in her life as the Emperor's Hand, but Luke knew that she had a genuine love for dance. He hoped one day to convince her to dance for him, as he hadn't managed to talk her into that yet.

After several minutes of inspecting her bric-a-brac, Luke looked up when he heard a muffled groan come from the desk. Mara was rolling her head back and forth, one hand rubbing the back of her neck. Putting the porcelain piece he was holding back onto the curio stand, Luke moved up behind her and gently replaced her hand with both of his own.

After an initial start of surprise, Mara let her head fall forward, obviously enjoying the feel of his calloused hands expertly massaging her neck and shoulders. Luke loved the softness of her skin, and at the same time he loved and admired the strength of the muscles underneath.

Sweeping her hair aside with one hand, he leaned down to press a kiss against the nape of her neck. He was very pleased to feel the tremble that went through her body. Half-heartedly, she tried to protest.

"Skywalker, I still have work left to do."

"You're done working," he said softly as his lips trailed across the back of her neck and over to her shoulder.

With one hand, he pulled the sleeve of her tank top to the side so that he could access her whole shoulder. At the same time, his other hand stole around under her opposite arm and crept under the tank top to graze across her already hardened nipple. Luke smiled in satisfaction at the tiny whimper that escaped her lips.

He stepped around and gently dropped to his knees to kneel in front of her. Mara spread her legs apart so that he was nestled in between them. Grasping the bottom edge of her top, he grinned at her as he pulled it up and off of her. She tried to give him an exasperated look, but he could see the desire in her eyes and knew she wouldn't stop him.

Leaning forward, he kissed the hollow at the base of her throat, while his hands slipped around her to press against her back, pulling her closer to him. Ever so slowly, he traced a trail downwards with his mouth, gently grazing the side of her breast. Her hands threaded through his hair, trying to push him closer and make him do what she wanted. Luke had discovered, however, that he loved to tease her to the point of anger when it came to their lovemaking. It was a dangerous game at times, but the rewards were always enormous.

"Sky-walk-eeerrr," Mara moaned, drawing his name out in frustration.

"Uh-uh. You know what I want," Luke whispered, rubbing his cheek against her nipple. He looked up at her and when she saw the teasing glint in his expression, her eyes narrowed.

**You know you want to**, he sent to her daringly.

**You'll pay for this later**, she warned.

**I'll look forward to it.**

Watching Mara's inner struggle between giving in to what they both wanted and maintaining her precious sense of independence, Luke longed to reassure her that he loved her and didn't want to change anything about her. But he was still on uncertain ground, so he merely watched her silently. As subtly as he could, Luke let her sense his intentions through the Force. Whether or not she picked up on it, he couldn't tell, but Mara looked down at him and gave him a little smile.

"Luke," she whispered.

Desire flared sharply in him. He would never have thought that just hearing this woman say his name in that certain tone would be enough to make him want to make love to her for hours. With a growl of satisfaction, he took her nipple in his mouth and sucked deeply. Mara let out a startled cry and arched her back into his embrace. Shifting his attentions to her other breast, Luke caught the nipple he'd just abandoned between his thumb and forefinger and gently squeezed. He was rewarded by a throaty groan from Mara and just the sound of her pleasure was enough to cause his manhood to harden with want and need.

Mara's hands slid around to the sides of his head and pulled him upwards, her mouth crashing down on his roughly. Luke's lips parted eagerly and their tongues met, dancing off one another wildly. Her hands moved to the front of his shirt and she began impatiently tugging at the buttons.

"Too many clothes," she muttered around his lips.

Luke chuckled softly and reached down to help her undo the fasteners on his shirt before she decided to rip them apart. When he had them undone, Mara pushed the shirt off his shoulders and it fell unheeded to the floor. With a sigh of satisfaction, Mara ran her hands over his chest, grazing his nipples and squeezing them in what he knew was retaliation for his earlier teasing.

"Are you laughing at me, Skywalker?"

"Never, sweetheart," Luke said, even as another chuckle slipped past his lips. Daringly, he slid a hand down between her legs and lightly pressed just the spot that he knew would send a jolt of desire through her. "And it's Luke when we're ma- messing around, remember?"

A tiny part of his brain froze in fear. He'd almost said 'making love'. Praying she hadn't caught that little slip, Luke held his breath. They'd been very careful to avoid that word in particular. He began to breathe again when she laughed.

"You don't play fair…Luke."

"Just keeping up with you, Mara, requires some bending of the rules."

"Why don't we move this into my bedroom then, and you show me what other rules you're willing to bend?" she said huskily.

"Gladly," he whispered back to her as he wrapped one arm around her waist and stood up, lifting her completely off the floor. As she twined her arms around his neck, their mouths met again. Walking swiftly and surely to her bedroom, Luke fell forward onto the bed, pinning her underneath him. Kissing his way down her body, he used his teeth to untie the string on her loose lounging pants and nuzzled her belly.

Raising up to his knees, he pulled the pants down and off of her, gazing hungrily down at her now naked form. Her fingers found the buckle of his belt and fumbled to undo it. Grinning, he pushed her hands aside and completed the task himself, getting rid of his clothing as efficiently as he'd gotten rid of hers. Almost reverently, he caressed her breasts, trailing his hands slowly down to touch her stomach and then her hips.

"Force, you are so beautiful," he murmured.

"So stop admiring the view and let's get to it, Jedi," she growled playfully.

"Patience, Jade," he admonished, deciding to let the nickname go this time. There _was_ a limit to how far he could push her. "Some things are best taken nice and slow."

"But sometimes we like them hard and fast," she said with a wicked grin.

Answering her with a low laugh, he then swooped down quickly to lave her mound with his tongue, swirling the tiny bud hidden in the folds with the tip of it. He was gratified at the sharp gasp that faded into a helpless moan, her hands clenching the sheets beneath them.

"That hard and fast enough for you?"

"Not enough," she gasped. "More, Luke, I need more!"

Obliging her, he moved more slowly this time, pleasuring her with his mouth and tongue almost lazily. Her moans and gasps increased in volume as she came closer to the peak of satisfaction. When he knew that he had her at the very brink, Luke paused and raised his head to look at her face. A sound of frustration came from her as she opened her eyes to meet his gaze.

**Do you trust me?**

A glimmer of uncertainty appeared in her expression and she nodded slowly.

**I want to try something. Just relax.**

Hesitantly, he sent her a mental picture through the Force of what he wanted to do to her. He could see her tense up as his presence brushed against hers. Leaning down to kiss her inner thigh, Luke gently but firmly persisted.

**Trust me.**

It was nearly a plea, but Luke didn't care. If she was ever going to let them be more than just lovers, he had to push her a little. If that also meant giving up some of his pride, so be it.

Cautiously, Mara nodded again, giving him permission to do what he wanted. Luke was elated at the show of trust, but was careful not to let her see his excitement and apprehension too much.

Lowering his head, he began the intimate caresses again. At the same time, he sent her mental images of the two of them together in every position he could imagine. Her response was immediate and fierce in its intensity. Arching up off the bed, she screamed his name. Reading her - as much as she would allow him to - through the Force, Luke could tell Mara was nearly overwhelmed at the combined physical and mental sensations flooding over her. Her entire body writhed and twisted on the bed, her hips bucking up towards his mouth uncontrollably.

Knowing that she needed only the smallest push to send her completely over the edge, Luke swiftly moved up and plunged into her with one smooth stroke. Just that was enough to send Mara spiraling into oblivion, and she cried his name again as her inner muscles contracted tightly around him. In only seconds, Luke was groaning as his own orgasm washed over him. Seeing her so lost in the haze of passion had nearly made him come before he ever got inside her.

Burying his face in her neck, he inhaled the scent of her, a scent that by this time was imprinted in his brain. He could be blind and deaf and stumble across her and know it was her just by the unique fragrance that was Mara Jade. She was lying there, breathing heavily, her eyes closed, her arms clasped loosely around his neck.

Luke lifted his head and kissed her softly on the lips. Her eyes opened and Luke saw what looked suspiciously like tears in the sheen of them. He smiled lazily down at her, still half-lost in his own bliss.

"Luke," she breathed. "That was…I've never…I…"

"Shh. I know. Neither have I."

Shifting over to lay beside her, he pulled her back up against his chest, wrapping her in his warm embrace. As their heartbeats slowed, it seemed to him that they began to beat in rhythm together. Luke could hardly contain his elation, as he thought happily that he had made another step forward in winning her heart.

It was probably about an hour later that he discovered how very wrong he was. He woke up from a sound sleep to Mara pushing him out of the bed. Startled, he looked up at her in confusion from the floor and then cursed silently as he saw the panic in her eyes. _Damn, she's had time to think about it and it's scared the wits out of her._

"You've got to go, Skywalker. I still have work to do and I don't want anyone to see you leaving here in the morning."

"And it'll be better for them to see me leaving here at 2300, Jade?" he asked quietly as he got to his feet.

"Look, Jedi, I'm not going to argue with you! This is my apartment and I want you to leave, so leave!"

She leapt out of the bed and gathered up his pants and boots, walking over to shove them at him. Taking them automatically, Luke reached one hand out towards her, but she scurried back around the bed out of his reach. Sitting down on the edge, she kept her back facing him and he could see the tension in every line of her body.

"Mara, I-"

"I don't want to discuss this," Mara said in a low tone and Luke could hear the fear in her voice.

"Okay, I won't push. But please, Mara, don't shut me out completely. I couldn't bear to lose your friendship. It's far too important to me," he pleaded.

"Just…go, Luke. We'll talk later," she said, her voice strangely muffled.

Luke stood there uncertainly for a long moment, wanting to go to her, to reassure his redhead that he loved her and would never hurt her, but it wasn't the right time. With a sigh, he pulled on his pants and his boots, then walked over to the door of the bedroom. He glanced at her one more time.

"Promise that we'll talk later?" he asked. She never broke her promises, he knew that much and he needed to hear those words from her before he left her alone.

"Yes, I promise," she whispered.

As he stepped into the living room and retrieved his shirt from the floor by her work desk, the bedroom door closed swiftly, effectively shutting him out. Staring at the door, Luke could feel the sorrow rising up in his chest. If only she would let him love her! If only…

"One step forward, two steps back," he murmured sadly to himself.

Slowly, Luke made his way back to his own apartment, where he would spend the rest of the night in his own bed, alone.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** A little subtle (not!) foreshadowing...

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Luke was still saddened by the previous night's poor ending when he awoke the next morning. Not that he had slept very well. Sometimes, it seemed he was fighting a losing battle in trying to gain Mara's love. But it was a battle that he couldn't give up on. He had faith, although he wasn't sure what he was basing it on, that he could break through her many barriers and when that happened…well, he knew that the many struggles and lonely nights would be in the past.

Mara was leaving with Talon Karrde at 1900 today and Force only knew when they'd be able to see one another again. He had to make up some lost ground from last night. Frowning as he stepped out of the shower to get dressed, he considered just how he was going to do that. Apologizing for what he'd done might appease her, but it would also be a major move backwards in his campaign to get closer to her heart. No, Luke had to make her see that what had happened last night had been safe, that it was okay and that it was just one step in a deeper relationship for the two of them.

"Yeah, and while I'm at it, I may as well make it rain on Tatooine," he muttered to himself.

Sighing, he reminded himself again that if he'd wanted an easy, quiet relationship, there were dozens of other women he could have chosen. But he'd chosen Mara Jade, knowing that any kind of relationship with her would be fiery and difficult. Hell, his _friendship _with Mara was difficult. Throw sex into the mix and Luke had known he would be asking for trouble. But Force, how he loved that woman! As prickly and hard-headed as she was, Mara was the only one who'd ever touched his heart and soul so completely.

Taking a deep breath, he walked over to his comm station and put in the frequency to Mara's apartment. When she answered, Luke tried not to let the guarded expression on her face affect his hopes.

"Skywalker," she said coolly.

"Hello, Mara. I hope you slept well?"

"Yes. I slept fine, thanks."

"I didn't," he said softly.

A flicker of something like doubt appeared in her eyes and she said, "Why?"

"I missed you. I missed holding you and feeling your warmth next to me. I missed waking up with you."

"Skywalker-" she said warningly and again he could see her fears on her face.

"Mara, I don't want to talk about this over the comm. Will you meet me later?"

"Look, Jedi, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about 'this' at all."

"Okay, we don't have to talk. How about some lightsaber practice? We haven't sparred in a long time," he asked.

"I don't know. I have a lot of things to do before I leave this evening."

She was wavering, he could tell. He knew she was not completely unaffected by him, so he decided to play a little dirty. Giving her a certain look, one that he normally only gave her when they were involved in bedroom activities, he said in a low voice, "Please, Mara."

A tiny little hitch of breath, one that he might have missed if he didn't know her so intimately by this time, and she looked at him for a long moment. "Okay, I'll meet you in the gym on the fourth floor at 1100."

"Good. I'll see you then," he said with a smile. He tried not to be discouraged by the fact that she didn't return the smile before she signed off.

"I love you," he whispered to the blank screen.

Luke arrived at the fourth floor gym at 1030. He wanted to be certain she couldn't accuse him of being late and he needed to stretch before what he somehow knew was going to be a very intense workout. After talking to Mara earlier, he had called down to the gym and reserved the room they normally held for him when he wanted to practice with his lightsaber. It was a spacious room, big enough for the two of them to move around comfortably in, and completely private so they wouldn't have to worry about curious spectators.

Walking up to the front desk, Luke was well aware of the stares that he received but he did his best to ignore them. Even though the Imperial Palace was home to some of the most prominent people of Coruscant society and several important former Alliance members, there simply were no others who were as notorious as the Jedi Master.

"Master Skywalker. Wonderful to see you again, sir," the young man at the front desk said with a beaming smile.

Luke sighed inwardly, not allowing his discomfort with the title to show on his face. "Thanks, Jek. Is the room ready?"

"Certainly, sir!" Jek replied, his smile shining even brighter, if that was possible, at the great Jedi Master remembering his name. Luke thanked him politely and headed towards the room that had, for all intents and purposes, become his own private workout space. He hated the idea of taking advantage of his fame in that way, but he hated the idea of people ogling him curiously during his exercises even more.

Once in the large room, Luke silently searched with the Force for hidden holocams or sound devices. He had learned _that _lesson the hard way when a vid of one of his workouts had suddenly become available for an outrageous sum of credits on the holonet. It had taken a visit from Chewie and Han, strongly suggesting the creep cease and desist distributing copies of the vid and destroying the original, to put a stop to it, but they could do nothing about the thousands of copies that were already out there.

Satisfied that nothing had changed since the last time he was here, Luke began his stretching routine, keeping one eye on the wall chrono. Feeling like he was as limber as he was going to get after about ten minutes, Luke decided to try and meditate for a few moments. Force knew, he would need to be as calm and centered as he could be when he talked with Mara.

Settling down in the middle of the gym floor, Luke took a deep breath and slowly released it, closing his eyes and opening himself up completely to the Force. The familiar sense of strength and peace washed over him and he smiled to himself. Images flashed through his mind, visions of Han and Leia, of the twins and Anakin, of his students on Yavin IV…and then he saw himself and Mara, entwined on a bed and surrounded by a feeling of utter joy and happiness.

Luke's smile grew wider and he couldn't help the feeling of elation that bubbled up inside his heart. Surely this was their future, if he could only convince her of it. The vision gave him hope, almost as though the Force was giving them its blessing.

He was startled by a sudden feeling of darkness that pierced the lovely scene, a sense of evil so profound that it caused him to begin to tremble. A chill raced up his spine and he gasped. He could not narrow down what the evil was, all he could feel was incredible pain and anguish, both his own and Mara's…and then Leia's and Han's as well. The darkness coursed over and around his senses, surrounding him and drowning him in its depths.

A sharp slap against his face abruptly brought him back to his present surroundings and he looked up at Mara's worried face with surprise. She was kneeling in front of him, one hand gripping his shoulder and the other rubbing his cheek where she had just hit him.

"Thank the stars! What were you _doing_! I've been yelling your name for almost five minutes!" she cried.

"I…I was meditating," Luke mumbled, still confused and unnerved by what he had seen and felt in the vision.

"I've seen you meditate many times, Jedi, and I've never seen you shaking and sweating like this. What did you see?"

Luke looked down and realized that she was right. His workout clothes were already drenched with his own perspiration and he hadn't even had a workout yet. His mind reeled away from thinking about the vision, much less talking about it, and he got to his feet unsteadily. Mara stood with him, still eyeing him uncertainly.

"Always in motion is the future," he said softly, half to himself, and he fervently hoped that this future would not come to pass. He was still unsettled by the vividness of the vision's pain and hurt.

Looking at Mara, he was both amazed and pleased by the worry in her expression. Determinedly, he pushed the vision away from him, not wanting to dwell on it a moment longer.

He grinned at his lover and - with a spark of mischief in his eyes - said, "Why, Jade, I might almost think you cared."

Exasperated, she smacked him in the arm, giving him a push while she was at it. "I don't, Skywalker. I was just looking forward to stomping you in a lightsaber duel and I want you at your best so you can't whine that I took advantage of you."

Luke's grin became even more devilish. "You can take advantage of me all you want."

She glared at him, but he could tell she wasn't truly angry. In fact, she paused and gave him a searching look and Luke suddenly knew she was about to bring the vision up again. As much as his heart soared at the thought that she really did care, that was the last thing he wanted to think about right now.

He took a couple of steps backwards, extended his arm and called his lightsaber to his hand, igniting it and bringing it up to a ready position. Mara gave him a look of uncharacteristic uncertainty, as though she still might want to push the vision issue. Luke did the one thing he knew would take her mind off that completely. _Well, hopefully the one thing other than kissing her senseless, but I can't do that right now, _he mused regretfully. Instead, he prodded her competitive instincts.

"Well, c'mon, Jade. Think you might be able to finally defeat me?"

Giving him a snarl that was almost serious, Mara's lightsaber flew into her hand and she surged towards him, the sparks flying as the blades met. Luke knew that he was unbeatable with a lightsaber by any other Jedi alive in the galaxy. He acknowledged this truth without any conceit…it was simply a fact. It was also a fact that all the Jedi in the Academy - including the other Masters - dearly longed to be the one to say they had finally beaten Master Skywalker.

As much as Luke loved to meditate and find a closeness with the Force, there was another part of him that thrilled at having a lightsaber in his hand. It was an extension of his body, of his will, and - although he knew it wasn't the truth in its purest sense - he never felt more like a Jedi than when he was handling the ancient weapon.

Mara was certainly no slouch with the lightsaber herself, having had some experience with it in her service to the Emperor. In fact, Luke would place her at the level of Kam or Corran in pure ability. Her moves tended to be sharper and more aggressive and Luke made a mental note to warn her about that.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** More smut, and for really the first time in this story, I switch to Mara's POV. I'm not sure why I did that, but I just felt like I needed to hear what she was thinking about what was happening, and I generally don't like stories that tell strictly from one person's POV. Well, not epic stories like this one is, anyway. So, this will be mostly from Luke's POV, but occasionally Mara, Leia, Han, and even Wedge will speak their minds.

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Mara had always admired Skywalker's skill and grace with a lightsaber, even back when she had wanted to kill him. He made it look utterly effortless and no matter how hard she tried or what move she attempted, his blade was always there to block hers. Their duel ranged over the room, Luke evenly giving her advice the whole time, about her strokes, about her footwork, about her connection with the Force.

Mara was listening to the calm strength of his voice when she could suddenly hear him as he'd spoken to her the night before through the Force, his words imploring her to trust him. And, amazingly, she realized that she did. The thought startled her so much that her concentration faltered for a moment and the next thing Mara knew, Luke had flipped her lightsaber out of her hand with his own blade and it was flying halfway across the room.

His intense gaze made her duck her head.

"You weren't paying attention there at the end," he observed.

"I, uh, was thinking of something else."

"During a duel, Mara? That can be a little hazardous."

"I know that!" she snapped at him, irritated that he could read her so easily.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing," she said quickly, still not sure that she was ready for the conversation she knew he wanted to have. "Can you show me that sidestep move you made? That one really took me by surprise."

The look on his face told her that he was well aware that she was avoiding more serious discussion, but he walked over to her anyway. Turning so that he was standing beside her and they were facing the same direction, Luke showed her the placement of his feet and the angle at which to hold her lightsaber. Mara called her blade back to her hand and attempted to mimic his stance.

"No, you're still too stiff," he said, shutting his lightsaber off and snapping it to his belt in one well-practiced motion before moving to stand behind her. Placing one hand at her shoulder and the other at the elbow of her blade arm, he said, "This should be loose, fluid, ready to move however you need it to."

"Well, what do you want me to do, just let my arm flop around all over the place?" she asked shortly.

Her jaw tightened at his patient sigh. "No, Jade. You're an athletic woman, you know what I'm talking about."

Gritting her teeth, Mara tried to reign in her irritation. Luke was only doing what she'd asked him to do, and - although she was loath to admit it - she still felt a bit guilty about throwing him out of her apartment the night before. "Show me again."

Obligingly, Luke placed her arm in the proper position and showed her how to swing the lightsaber to the best advantage. Mara became aware of just how close he was standing behind her when she felt his breath warm on her neck. The hands that had been instructing were now caressing softly up her arm. Using his nose and chin to push aside the strands of hair that had escaped her braid, he tenderly kissed her temple, forging a trail down to her jaw.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked, a little breathless at the surge of desire that flared in her belly.

"What does it feel like I'm doing?" Luke murmured and she could hear the smile in his voice even though she couldn't see his face.

"It feels like you're playing a pretty dangerous game. We can't do this here and you know it."

"Who says we can't?"

"Skywalk-"

"Ah!" he said in a warning tone. "What's my name again?"

He swiftly wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her tightly against his body where Mara could feel how aroused he already was. Her lightsaber dropped unheeded to the floor, although she still had the presence of mind to deactivate it first. Luke's head lowered and his tongue darted out to taste that tiny spot in the curve of her neck that he knew always drove her insane and she couldn't hold back a moan.

"Luke," she said softly. Mara tilted her head and let it fall back onto his shoulder, her body squirming as Luke's hands crept up to cover both her breasts, his palms hot and hard against them even through the thin material of her shirt.

Mara tried to regain a modicum of self-control. It was uncanny how Skywalker could make her lose that self-control so quickly with just a look or a touch. She desperately hoped he wasn't aware of just how deeply he did affect her.

"Luke, we can't do this here," she repeated shakily and even she could tell the protest was weak.

Luke chuckled against the skin of her neck and Mara shivered at the delicious vibrations it sent through her system.

"We have complete privacy here, Mara. I always insist on it."

"Privacy for a workout, Jedi, not sex! And what if you're wrong?"

"I'm not." His hands found their way under her shirt, gliding upwards to catch her already taut nipples between his fingers. At the same time, he ground his hips into the softness of her rear end and Mara gasped, helplessly surrendering to him. She tried to turn around in his embrace, but he wouldn't let her.

"No, like this. I want you like this," he whispered into her ear. His tongue traced the outline of her ear before drawing her earlobe into his mouth and suckling it. Mara melted, unable to resist him and, for once, she was not the least bit apprehensive about the fact. It was a quiet revelation, one that stole over her before she was completely aware of it…Luke would never use this power he had over her to hurt her. He wasn't the Emperor and he never would be.

This newfound knowledge stunned her and nervously, she clamped down on it, still a little too unsure of her own feelings to share it with him at the moment. Luke must have sensed something because he paused in his attentions and murmured to her quietly.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Just a little nervous about doing this here, I think," she said, attempting to put him off track. He had a knack for ferreting out the truth and she simply wasn't ready for him to do that right now.

"Mara Jade admitting that she's nervous? Will wonders never cease," Luke teased.

"So what are you going to do about it, Farmboy?" Mara teased back, getting into the spirit of the game.

"Hmm, let me think…"

Removing his hands from under her shirt, he let one trail down each of her arms. Reaching her wrists, he grasped them gently and raised their arms over their heads. In no hurry, Luke lowered his hands back to the bottom of her shirt and pulled it slowly over her head and up her arms, tossing it to the side once she was free of it. Her sports bra, usually worn only during workouts and lightsaber duels, followed suit.

Mara moaned as his hands returned to cup her now bare breasts. The combined feeling of the cool air of the workout room and Luke's nimble fingers were enough to drive her mad with desire. His mouth continued its assault on her neck, kissing, tasting, gently biting until Mara could barely stand it. Again she tried to turn around and touch him, kiss him the way he was caressing her, but again he would not allow her to.

Luke's hands drifted slowly down to the waist of her pants, undoing the fastener smoothly. Taking a step backwards, he kneeled down and removed her boots one at a time, permitting her to place a hand on his shoulder for balance, but still refusing to let her touch him any more than that. Her pants and underwear were slowly peeled off her body, Luke pausing to place tiny kisses on her hips, thighs, the backs of her knees. Mara truly didn't know how much more she could stand.

"Not…fair," she gasped.

"What's not fair?" he asked as he stood back up, sliding his hands over every centimeter of her body as he did so.

"You're still completely dressed."

"Well, so I am. I'll have to see what I can do about that," he said in a voice that sounded totally unlike the Luke Skywalker the galaxy in general knew.

From the moment they had started down this path, Mara had been amazed at the differences between the public man who was her friend and sometimes adversary, and the private man who was her lover. There were no blushes or shy glances in the bedroom…her lover was a confident man who knew exactly how to touch and please her.

In a matter of only minutes, he was as naked as she was and Mara smiled as he once again encircled his arms around her from behind, continuing the incredible game he had begun.

"What's that smile for?"

"You're getting really good at taking your clothes off very quickly. Maybe you should make that a skill for your Jedi back at the Academy."

Luke laughed softly and said, "I don't think so. This is something reserved for Masters only."

"Oh? And where does that leave me? I'm not exactly a Knight, much less a Master."

For just a moment, the mood in the room faltered as Mara's words brought to both their minds the disagreements they'd often had over her training, or lack thereof. Mara held her breath as Luke's movements stilled, mentally kicking herself for ruining the moment. _Funny, now I know how he must feel around me most of the time, _she thought.

Mara was startled when Luke abruptly spun her around and claimed her lips in a searing kiss that seemed to pull the very breath from her body. His hands were framing her face as his tongue invaded her mouth roughly and she had the insane thought that he was somehow marking her as his own. When he pulled away and looked at her, Mara was glad for his hands steadying her as her knees felt none too secure at the moment.

"You are a very special case, my sweet. A _very _special case," he whispered seductively. "Now come here. I want to show you something," he said as he turned and walked towards the back of the workout room, leading her by the hand.

The entire back wall of the room was a giant mirror and Mara couldn't help staring at Luke's beautiful body in the reflection as she also got an intriguing look at the real-life backside of him. It was a dizzying view.

Luke lightly pushed her in front of him, carefully placing her hands one at a time against the mirror, so that she was facing it and leaning slightly forward. He again stepped behind her and renewed his loving onslaught on her willing form. Luke's hands and lips seemed to be everywhere at once as he worked Mara's senses to a fevered pitch.

"Luke, _please_!" she moaned, unable to stand not having him within her for another second. Catching his gaze in the mirror, Mara tried to muster up a scowl when she saw his satisfied smirk at her words.

Her ire was forgotten when he entered her smoothly from behind, filling her completely, his hips grazing her buttocks. Their moans mingled in the quiet of the workout room as Luke gripped her hips, slowly thrusting into her depths. One hand slipped around her to catch her nipple, squeezing it lovingly, as his other hand delved downwards to caress the sensitive bud between her thighs.

Mara's fingers curled into tight fists and her head dropped as the familiar sensations began to build in her belly, stretching all the way down to her toes. She threw her head back with a loud cry as her climax slammed into her with the fierce intensity of a firestorm. As she reveled in the haze of pleasure surrounding her, Mara was vaguely aware of Luke plunging into her ever faster, harder, and deeper before he erupted inside her with a hoarse shout. Luke pulled her trembling figure close up against his own, nuzzling her neck.

**Open your eyes, Mara**, he commanded softly and it was all the more compelling through the Force. **Open your eyes and tell me what you see in the mirror.**

She did as he asked and gazed at the two of them, still flushed with the bliss of their mutual satisfaction, Luke still buried deep inside her body, his arms wrapped around her.

I** see us.**

**Do you really? Do you see what I see?**

**I…I don't know. What do you see?** she asked hesitantly.

**Possibilities, Mara. This is more than just physical. I know it. And you know it, too. Don't turn your back on it, on us**, Luke sent intently.

Mara's breath caught in her throat as she looked at their reflection in the mirror with a different perspective. There was an aura surrounding the two of them, seeming to bind them closer together. Their eyes met in the reflection, holding in a gaze filled with amazing and wondrous…possibilities.

The jarring sound of her commlink going off abruptly shattered the moment and Mara dropped her gaze to the floor. A sound of frustration echoed from Luke as he withdrew from her and took a step backwards. Mara had to consciously steady her legs as she turned towards her bag halfway across the room.

"That's probably Karrde. I should-"

"Yes, I know," Luke sighed. He walked over to his clothes and began to put them on. Mara watched him for a moment before walking over and picking up the blaring commlink.

"Jade here."

It was indeed Talon with a few last minute instructions for her and Mara talked with him quietly for several minutes. If her boss noticed her unusually subdued mood, he didn't comment on it. When Mara disconnected with Talon and turned around, Luke was already fully dressed and she could see the mask of the Jedi Master falling over him. He stood silently by as she pulled her own clothes back on, her skin still tingling from the erotic experience of several moments ago.

"Will you call me when you get back to Coruscant?" he asked.

"Yes, if you're still here," she said. The atmosphere had suddenly turned awkward and Mara wanted to reach out to Luke, but something held her back. Whether it was fear of losing her identity in his Force-strong personality, or just the fear of allowing another person to see her vulnerable - which hadn't happened in over a decade - Mara couldn't have said. All she knew was that the moment was there, and then it was gone.

"I should get going. Karrde's given me quite a list of things to do," Mara said, not entirely able to meet Luke's gaze.

"Of course."

She hitched the bag up onto her shoulder and took a step towards the door. When Luke didn't move, she looked back at him uncertainly.

"Are you…" she trailed off, not sure what she was going to ask him, not sure what it was that she even wanted.

"I'm going to get in a little more practice with a remote. I've been neglecting my lightsaber skills a bit in the past couple of months."

"Oh. Okay then. Well, I guess I'll see you the next time I get on-planet."

Walking out the door, Mara found herself wondering what the hell had just happened. They had gone from being as close and intimate as two people could be to conversing like polite strangers in a matter of minutes. Halfway to the exit of the gym, her steps slowed and she came to a standstill. Something deep inside was screaming at her to go back to that room, to run back and throw her arms around Luke Skywalker and never let him go. She half-turned in that direction.

"Uh, Ms. Jade, are you all right?" an anxious voice said from beside her and Mara turned back in surprise to see the young desk clerk, Jek, staring at her with wide eyes.

"What?" Mara asked with a frown, and then took a quick glance around the gym. She had stopped in the middle of the gym and had been standing there, no doubt looking like a complete idiot! Curious gazes that had been directed her way swiftly found something else in the room to interest them when met with her piercing glare.

"I'm fine. Just…thinking about work and I got distracted. Excuse me," she said gruffly and continued on her way out of the gym, not allowing herself to get lost in thought this time.

What in the sith was she thinking? Mara Jade and Luke Skywalker? No, that might be fine for the occasional tumble between the sheets, but it couldn't be anything more than that. It mustn't be anything more than that. Even if she no longer feared Luke's power over her, the thought of what the people of the galaxy would have to say about their favorite hero and the former Emperor's Hand…it caused her to shudder with revulsion. Hell, she didn't even want to consider what Luke's sister would have to say about the situation.

The smart thing for her to do would be to end this affair with Luke before they both got in over their heads. A little twinge of pain cut through Mara's heart at the thought of never being with Luke again, but she firmly pushed it away. It was the realization that it was already too late and she _was _in over her head that she found impossible to ignore.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Luke and little Anakin Solo bonding, a little angst (almost too much so, I cringe at this chapter when I read back on it), some more smut and here is where the title of the story comes in. Honestly (true story here), I have no idea where the title of this story came from. I had started this thing as a way to relieve frustration when I got stuck on _Sleight of Hand_ and it somehow developed into a real story. The words 'whisper your weakness' just popped into my head one day and, on a whim, that's what I started calling this fic. THEN, I realized I had to actually incorporate it into the story somehow so that it made sense. Oh. Shit! But Lukie cooperated with me nicely (for once) and I thought it was perfect as a farmer-mentality style homily, and so there it was!

Right, TMI, I know, get on with the fic, blah blah blah...

Also, this chapter is kinda long, but I couldn't really think of a better place to cut it off.

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As the door shut behind Mara, Luke let his head drop in despair. _So close, so damn close._ Or maybe it hadn't been. Maybe he was wasting his time. Maybe Mara Jade didn't feel anything other than lust for him. After Callista had left him, Luke had sworn to himself that he would never give his heart to another woman ever again. Now, here it was less than a year later and he was in the same situation. Desperately in love with a woman who was unwilling or unable to love him in return.

Walking over to his gym bag, he pulled out three silver-colored remotes, pressing a button on each one before tossing them into the air. They hovered there quietly, waiting for a mental command from him to begin their program. Taking a couple of steps backward, Luke pulled his lightsaber from his belt and ignited it, assuming a ready stance.

Luke attempted to let his morose thoughts drain away from him as the remotes began darting around him, steadily firing stun beams at him, but a part of his consciousness stubbornly refused to let the thoughts of Mara and his dilemma leave his mind. Every moment Luke was with her was just a bit longer that he delayed the inevitable heartbreak of the day when she would walk away for the last time, but he could not be the one to end it. He simply couldn't. Instead, he was like one of the scavengers of underground Coruscant, greedily holding every encounter with her close to his soul, hoping to one day use the memories to deaden the pain.

A cry of frustration welled up in his chest and felt as though it were ripped from him as he brusquely used the Force to make the remotes explode mid-flight. Glancing down at the three ruined piles of metal, Luke took a deep breath, calming himself. No, he would not, _could not_, let this despair and pain push him towards the Dark Side. He had been there before and he knew that there might not be a return a second time. He couldn't risk that, not with Leia's future, and that of her children and the students at the academy, at stake.

Immediately, Luke felt Leia's mental caress along the bond they shared, showing her obvious worry at the burst of anger he'd just released. Closing his eyes, he sent her a wave of reassurance and smiled at the tender concern she held for him. He thanked the Force for giving him his twin. Without her, Luke would be lost.

That evening found him at his sister's apartment once more. Luke glanced forlornly at the chrono when it showed 1900 and knew that Mara was gone. He could feel her presence wink out as her ship went to lightspeed. Before he could prevent it, a sigh escaped him.

"Whatsa matter, Unca Luke?" Anakin asked. Luke looked down to see his youngest nephew staring at him with big, blue eyes. Eyes that were so like his own. Sadly, Luke wondered if this would be his only chance to see his own features in a child.

"Nothing, buddy. I was just thinking," Luke said with a forced smile. Anakin, as young as he was, was very strong with the Force and wasn't fooled for a minute.

"You miss her," he said solemnly.

Luke looked at his nephew in shock. "I miss who?" he asked, wondering if his shields were slipping again.

"Mara," Anakin said. Luke knelt down on one knee so that he was face-to-face with the boy.

"Yes, Mara is a good friend of mine and I do miss her when she's not here," Luke said carefully, still looking at Anakin a bit warily.

Anakin smiled and Luke was momentarily taken aback at the serene knowledge the boy projected.

"You love her. Like daddy loves mommy."

Luke couldn't help it…his jaw dropped in astonishment. Here he was, a Jedi Master, and a three-year old could read him like a datapad.

"I…uh…well, that is…" he stammered. Anakin continued to gaze at him calmly and Luke suddenly felt as though he could not keep this burden as his alone one second longer. Was it right to share it with a child who was barely past the toddler stage? Luke didn't know, but then Ani wasn't an ordinary child.

He looked at Anakin with utter seriousness and said quietly, "Yes, Ani, I do love her the way your daddy loves your mommy. Very much so, in fact." He reached out and took Anakin's tiny hands in his own. "But it's very complicated. Mara-" he broke off, unsure how to explain this in terms that Anakin would understand. "Mara is a very independent woman and she doesn't really want to get married like your mommy and daddy are."

"But I want you to marry her. I wanna have a baby cousin so I won't be the littlest no more."

Luke laughed softly at that. "I'd love nothing better than that, Ani. But…I don't think it will happen," he said, his smile turning a bit melancholy.

"Maybe it will, Unca Luke. The motion is always the future, 'member?"

Luke laughed a bit harder at Anakin's mangled recitation of one of his own platitudes and lightly tapped his nephew's nose. "You're right, the future is always in motion, buddy."

He reached out and pulled Anakin into a hug, feeling a pang of wistfulness as the chubby little arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He closed his eyes, again wondering if he would ever get the opportunity to embrace a child of his own this way.

"Listen, buddy, Mara doesn't like it when people talk about her, so I don't think you should tell mommy or daddy about this, okay? It's…well, it's kind of a private thing between her and me, do you understand?"

Anakin leaned back to give Luke a impish little grin. "Sure, Unca Luke. I'm real good at keepin' secrets. Just ask Jaya or Jasa!"

Luke had the feeling he really didn't want to know what secrets Ani knew about his older siblings' misdeeds. If Leia or Han knew, the twins would probably be grounded for life.

"There you are, Anakin Solo. Didn't I tell you to wash up for dinner?" Leia said as she came around the corner into the living room.

"I'm going, mommy!" Anakin shouted as he dashed off. Right before he left the room, he turned and gave his uncle a big wink and Luke couldn't help smiling again.

"What was that all about?" Leia asked suspiciously.

"Just some man stuff, that's all," Luke grinned.

Leia sat down on the couch, taking Luke's hand and pulling him down beside her. She smiled at him softly and Luke knew he was about to get the 'big sister' treatment.

"Well, it's good to see you smile. I was a bit worried after this afternoon."

"That was nothing, Leia. Just a little frustration leaking out. I got it under control," he was quick to reassure her. Leia had been somewhat wary of his anger ever since the events on Byss so many years ago.

"Is it this girlfriend of yours that's got you frustrated?"

Luke sighed, knowing he may as well tell her what she wanted to know, at least short of the 'girlfriend's' identity. She'd eventually worm it out of him anyway.

"Yes. It's not going as well as I'd hoped."

"What's the problem?" Leia asked, ready to come to her brother's rescue.

Luke was so tired of dealing with all this emotion on his own. He was longing for someone to share the weight of his feelings with and, as nice as it had felt to tell someone about it, little Ani couldn't exactly give him any advice. From the moment he had met her, Leia had been his confidant, his other half, and he couldn't keep this agony from her any longer.

"She's going to leave me, Leia, I just know it," Luke said, his voice breaking. His head lowered and he stared at the floor as tears began to fill his eyes. Leia's arm wrapped around his back and she rested her chin on his shoulder.

"What makes you think that?"

"She won't let me tell anyone about us. She won't let our relationship go any deeper than just the physical. She's never said 'I love you' and I'm afraid to say it to her, afraid it will only make her run that much sooner."

"Do you love her, Luke?"

Luke looked up at his twin, his despair obvious in his eyes. "With everything that I am," he whispered.

"Then don't give up on her yet. Force knows, if anyone in this galaxy deserves to be happy, it's you, Luke. You've given so much. I can't believe that this woman can't love you. There's so much in you to love."

Luke blushed as he ducked his head and a tiny chuckle came from his throat. "Oh, that's just my sister talking."

Leia put one of her small hands under his chin and directed his gaze back to her.

"No, it's not. You are a very special person, Luke, and if this woman can't see that, then she's not the one for you. But there is someone out there who is right for you, I know it."

"And just how do you know that?"

"Hey, you're not the only one with the Force, you know," she grinned.

Luke laughed, amazed at the way she could always make him feel better, no matter what trials or tribulations he was going through. He leaned over and captured her in a big hug. "I love you, sis."

"I love you, too, little brother."

"Who says you're older?"

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It was more than a month before he heard from her again. Luke had never been one to be idle for long, and the amount of time he'd spent on Coruscant had been the longest of his entire life that he'd gone without having some sort of work to do. So, this last time that Mara had flown out of his life, Luke had begun looking into the possibility of establishing a Jedi Temple on the capital of the New Republic.

His days had been filled with meetings in the Senate and in committees; his evenings had been spent searching for the best location and finding out what equipment and materials he would need. Luke refused to dwell on the thought that he was only trying to keep himself from missing her. With their relatively small numbers, the Jedi needed to be more visible in the galaxy and having a presence on Coruscant was the obvious way to do that. It would also allow him to be with his sister and her family more often. That he would be more likely to see Mara Jade on Coruscant than on Yavin IV was _not_ a reason, or so he attempted to convince himself.

Leia was practically giddy at the thought of her brother being nearby more often. Her enthusiasm in the many meetings he had to attend was infectious and Luke found the path to be easier than it might have been if he'd attempted it on his own. Although, at times he wasn't certain if it was her enthusiasm or her steel will. Luke had never had the occasion - or the desire, if he was completely honest - to pay attention to what happened in the New Republic Senate, but seeing his sister in action had awed him a little. Leia was a formidable foe, and got what she wanted an impressive majority of the time. _Kind of like she does in her private life, _Luke thought with a smile.

**Fey'lya is going to think you're up to something if you keep grinning like that.**

Leia's voice in his head brought him back to the meeting room they were in with members of the Senate Financial Committee. It had already dragged on for over two hours and Luke's patience was wearing very thin.

**Let him worry. That's one being I wouldn't mind if I never had to talk to again.**

**Now, Luke, he's an influential member of this council and you shouldn't offend him.** Her sarcasm was evident even over their Force bond.

**Look who's talking. I heard about what happened in the military budget meeting yesterday.**

**Ah, he was asking for it.**

"Master Skywalker, your thoughts on what I just said, please?" the arrogant tones of the Bothan senator interrupted his much more pleasant conversation with his sister.

With an inner sigh, Luke focused his attention back on the matters at hand.

Later that evening, he stopped and picked up something to eat before he headed to his apartment. Leia had invited him to have dinner at the Solo residence, but he'd felt the need to be alone tonight and had gently refused. Every once in a while, Luke decided he deserved to be able to wallow in his misery. Never again would he allow himself to succumb to the Dark Side, but there was something to be said for a little self-pity now and then.

Force, he missed Mara! It had been five weeks and not one comm call, not one message. Luke had begun to fear that this was it - that this time, she had decided to end it and he would never taste her lips or feel the warmth of her body again. Walking into his darkened apartment, Luke could feel the weight of his loneliness pulling him down. Maybe this night called for some self-pity _and _some Corellian whiskey.

Having lost his appetite, Luke tossed the food he'd bought into his refrigeration unit and opened the cabinet where he kept a bottle of Whyren's Reserve for when Han came to visit. Pouring himself a healthy portion into a glass, Luke threw his head back and swallowed it in one gulp, welcoming the burning sensation that quickly followed. He grimaced as he looked at the bottle and pondered whether he should drink the whole thing.

"Aren't you going to share, Farmboy?"

Luke whirled around in shock, his senses barely registering Mara leaning against the door frame with a smirk on her face before he dropped the bottle of whiskey. He just managed to catch it with the Force before it shattered all over the floor, pulling it back to his hand before setting it on his counter with a clatter.

"Mara! What…when did you get back? How did you get in here?"

She sauntered across the kitchen and reached a hand out to run a finger seductively down his chest. "I got back just about an hour ago and I wanted to surprise you. Are you surprised?"

Luke could only nod, half of him wondering if he hadn't already drunk all the whiskey and he was just imagining her. She was in a good mood, teasing him, and she seemed to have forgotten the slightly awkward parting they'd had. Well, that was fine with him. As long as she was here, Luke wasn't going to question why. At least, not right at this moment.

"As for how I got in, well, I haven't forgotten all my training, you know."

"Why didn't I sense you?"

"I've been practicing my shielding. How'd I do, Master?" she grinned.

"Really well. You almost gave me a heart attack," Luke said with a wry smile.

Mara stepped even closer to him, reaching up to hold the front of his shirt with both of her hands, tugging gently to bring his face within centimeters of hers. Luke's breath quickened as he felt the heat of her lips barely brush his own.

"I certainly don't want to give you a heart attack, Skywalker. I've kind of missed you. Have you missed me?" she whispered.

"More than you could ever know," Luke groaned and pulled her to him, crushing her mouth with his. He knew there were issues between them that needed to be addressed, but at the moment, with her willing body in his arms after so long, he didn't give a damn.

Luke reached down and put his arm under her knees, scooping her off her feet and carrying her swiftly to his bedroom. Laying her gently down on the bed, Luke slowed his pace and reverently undressed her. Unlike the usual frenzy of their first time after a long separation, Luke made love to Mara as though he were worshipping her, with every kiss and caress trying to show her without words how much he adored her.

When he finally joined his body with hers, the pure beauty of it took his breath away and Luke had to restrain himself from shouting out his love for her. As he began to move within her, steadily thrusting deeply into her core, Luke watched her beneath him. Mara was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, her red-gold hair spread out like a fan around her face; her head thrown back, eyes closed in ecstasy; her back arched towards him, allowing him to take her breast into his mouth.

When he did so, Mara's hands clung ever tighter to his shoulders, her cry echoing around the room. Luke had learned over their affair just how to touch her to drive her insane and he took full advantage of that knowledge now. He wanted her to realize what she would be missing if she walked away from him. Perhaps that was sexist and unfair, but Luke didn't care. At this point, he was willing to stoop that low to keep Mara with him.

His climax followed hers within a heartbeat, the force of it volatile after having been apart from her for so long. Luke lay atop Mara for a long moment, his head resting on her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around his back, both of them breathing heavily from their exertions.

"Wow," Mara breathed.

"I'll second that," Luke said.

He shifted over to lay on his side behind her, pulling her into his chest and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Softly, he kissed her temple.

"You can surprise me like that anytime, Jade."

"Duly noted," Mara chuckled.

"Tell me how this trade run went. Any problems?" Luke asked.

He lay there quietly, content to listen to her talk, making the appropriate comment now and then, but part of his mind was working up the courage to ask her about something very important to him.

Mara must have been able to feel a bit of his inattention, because she paused and turned her head to glare at him, only half-seriously.

"What's on your mind, Skywalker?"

Luke thought it was very brave of Mara to ask that question, knowing as she did what it was that he would most likely want to talk about. He decided to take that as a good sign, but as it happened, that wasn't exactly what he wanted to discuss.

"Leia's having a birthday party for Han next week. I know she's going to invite you anyway and I want you to go with me," he said, waiting a little nervously for the explosion.

To his surprise, it didn't come. Instead she sighed and paused for so long, he thought she was just going to ignore him.

"As in, the two of us as a couple, like a date?" she asked quietly.

"Yes."

Mara sighed again and Luke could sense her indecision and her fear.

"Mara, what are you afraid of?" he asked intently. That was a query that could also set her off, but she must have been in a very mellow mood because she actually tried to answer him, even though he felt it as her muscles tensed.

"I don't know. I just know that I think of what it would mean to be with you completely, like Han and Leia, and it scares me to death. I'm not sure if I'm capable of that kind of commitment, Luke."

Luke tightened his hold on her and leaned forward to caress her cheek with his mouth. " 'Whisper your weakness to me, and I will lend you my strength'," he murmured.

"What?"

"It's an old Tatooine saying. It means just what it says. Share your weaknesses with me and I'll share my strengths with you."

"And what about your weaknesses, Skywalker?" she asked and he could hear the slight challenge in her tone.

"That's the thing, Jade. It works both ways."

She didn't say anything more, but Luke somehow knew that she was silently contemplating his words. As he drifted off to sleep, the naïve farmboy from Tatooine allowed himself to feel true hope for the first time in a very long while.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Happy, fluffy, schmoopy stuff! (and more smut!) If you wanted to ignore the torture part of this story, you could probably stop reading with this chapter and all would be well in Luke and Mara's world. Oh, don't stop reading, you know you wanna see what happens next, LOL!

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Mara lay awake for quite some time, listening to Luke's even breathing as he slept, turning his words over in her mind. Luke Skywalker. The man had been a big part of her existence long before she'd ever met him, much less decided to begin an affair with him. A small segment of her brain still marveled that less than five years ago, she had wanted to kill the Jedi, and now she was willingly sharing her body with him!

_But what about your heart, Mara?_ she asked herself. She knew that Luke loved her. The farmboy wasn't nearly as skilled at hiding his feelings as he liked to think he was. Or not from her, at any rate. What frightened her was the thought that maybe his love wouldn't be strong enough. What if Luke finally succeeded in peeling away all the outer layers of Mara Jade and when he got to the center, to the very essence that was _her, _what if he didn't like what he saw?

The Emperor's Hand had never known love, never given it nor received it. Mara Jade the Trader had known affection and friendship, from Talon and his crew, from Luke and his sister, and even from some of the Jedi on Yavin IV. But love, real love? It was a foreign concept.

_Not anymore. Luke loves you._

_But why? I'm not good enough for him!_

_And who are you to say that Luke can't decide for himself whom he should love?_

_I was an assassin! I killed people at my Master's command! Luke is a Jedi._

_And did he not struggle with his own Darkness? Doesn't he still? Who better than he to understand exactly what you face every day?_

"Sith, I'm arguing with myself," Mara muttered.

Luke grunted in his sleep at the sound of her voice and shifted the arm that was wrapped around her, his hand automatically finding her breast and instinctively squeezing gently. That familiar feeling of warmth surged through her and she grinned. Even in his sleep, Luke had the moves of a Jedi. Mara carefully turned her head so that she could see his face as he slumbered.

Even though she couldn't see his blue eyes at the moment, Mara could vividly recall the way they gleamed when he spoke to her, the way they almost glowed when he made love to her. She had purposely not contacted him this last trip. A part of her worried that she was growing too attached, that when he realized Mara Jade was unworthy of his love and rejected her, she would be devastated.

Ironically, she wasn't even supposed to be on Coruscant right now. Talon thought she was on her way to Alemir VI, and would probably not be happy if he learned she had made an unscheduled stop. Mara's brows drew together in a frown of confusion as she realized it was too late - the attachment she'd dreaded was already there. Kreth, she hadn't been able to last one more day without seeing him!

When they had begun this affair, she had worried about his power over her. Luke's strength in the Force was dizzying at times and Mara had sworn to never allow another being to have control over her the way Palpatine had. It was frightening how her fears had changed, from anxiety over the possibility of his control over her, to panic that he would no longer want her at all.

Was this love that she felt? This ache in the pit of her belly at the thought of never seeing his smile again? Never feeling the touch of his lips or the caress of his hands? Mara cursed Palpatine for warping her psyche so severely that she could not even be certain if the emotions that surged through her were truly love or simply lust and need.

"How do I know for sure?" she whispered to Luke's sleeping form.

She watched in astonishment as Luke smiled at her in his sleep and murmured, almost incoherently, "The Force will tell you."

Mara peered at Luke closely. Was he awake and listening to her make an idiot of herself? Experimentally, she poked him in that spot on his ribs where she knew he was extremely ticklish. He slept on, although he made a few more grumbling sounds.

_The Force will tell me, huh? You're a Jedi Master even when you're unconscious, Farmboy! _Mara thought to herself with a smile.

The smile slowly faded as she considered his unknowing advice. That was yet another thing to consider in becoming involved with Luke. The Force was just as much a part of him as the air he breathed. Mara was well aware of her own potential in the Force, as much as she had tried to deny it in the years since her service to the Emperor. Something within her had always connected her Force abilities with that servitude. Was it truly possible for her to allow herself to serve the Force as a Jedi?

She closed her eyes, tentatively stretching out with her fledgling senses, trying to recall the way Luke had shown her to meditate within the Force. Immediately, a feeling of calmness settled over her and it was like nothing Mara had ever felt in her life. She had always fought against her abilities in the Force, had always been frightened of them. But this peace, this utter serenity - it was marvelous.

A shimmering shape began to take form in her mind's eye. It was so brilliant that it almost hurt her eyes to look at it. Squinting, Mara raised a hand to shield her view. Slowly, the shape began to take on the form of a man, and Mara's breath caught in her throat as she realized that it was Luke. This was her Farmboy as he truly was, a glowing, incandescent, beautiful being. He looked straight at her and she had the feeling he was gazing into her very soul.

_It's real, Mara, this bond between us. Don't let it die._

Mara's eyes snapped open and she came back to awareness with a gasp. She jerked her head around to look at Luke, still somehow sleeping soundly. How he could be sleeping when she'd just had the most amazing experience of her life astounded her. She felt a wetness on her cheeks and realized that there were tears streaming down her face.

With a jolt, she sat straight up in the bed, startling Luke into wakefulness for real this time.

"Huh? What, is it time to get up already?" he mumbled in confusion as he sat up.

Mara turned around to face him, sitting with her legs curled up beneath her. Luke looked at her and frowned as he noted the tears for the first time. He reached out a hand to touch her face.

"Mara?" he said questioningly.

"All this time, I didn't understand. I don't know how you were so patient with me when I refused to understand. And it was beautiful, Luke, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. How could I not see it before?"

He was still looking at her with the most adorable frown of confusion and Mara knew she was babbling, that she was making absolutely no sense. But the feelings, the emotions churning inside her were so intense that she wasn't quite certain how to let them out.

She took the hand he'd touched her face with and clasped it between both of her own. With a tremulous smile, she looked at him and whispered softly.

"Pride. Stubbornness. Arrogance. Temper."

A tiny gleam appeared in Luke's eyes, as though he thought he understood but was afraid to really hope.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm whispering my weakness to you, Luke. Will you share your strength with me?"

The hope flared strongly in his eyes and an incredulous smile began to stretch across Luke's face.

"Oh, Mara…" he whispered, but she could still see a tiny bit of disbelief that this was truly happening in the set of his expression.

Bringing the hand she held up to her lips, she kissed it softly. "I love you, Luke. I love you with all my heart and all my soul and I am so sorry that I put us through all this heartache."

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Luke was afraid to move for a long moment, afraid that he was dreaming and that he was about to wake up. The joy that bubbled up inside him made him feel as though he were about to burst. And when he finally let himself believe it, that Mara was sitting in front of him, declaring her love for him, Luke surged forward and kissed her soundly.

Pulling away, he framed her face with his hands, looking deep into her jade green eyes. At the love he saw shining there, the last bit of his doubt vanished and Luke found himself laughing with joy. He gathered Mara back into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair. All the endearments that Luke had held in these many months began to spill from his lips, as though he couldn't hold them back any longer.

The two of them sat there on his bed for Force knew how long, somehow laughing and crying all at once as 'Oh, my love' and 'My heart' and 'I love you, I love you' poured from Luke. Luke fell over backwards on the bed, pulling her onto his chest and kissing her softly. He gazed into her eyes for a long moment, still amazed at the love he saw reflected there.

"You constantly surprise me, woman. Never in a million years would I have thought you'd say those words to me first. I thought I'd have to coax them out of you," he grinned.

A look of seriousness and awe came over Mara's face. "It was the most amazing thing, Luke. It was the Force speaking to me. I've never felt it so strongly, not even when Palpatine used to call to me."

Luke was stunned. To have Mara say that she loved him was something that he had never believed could happen. Now, to hear her speaking of the Force in a respectful tone, and not the slightly derisive manner she usually employed, literally left him speechless.

Mara grinned at the look on his face. As she explained to him the vision she'd seen, Luke's amazement grew.

"Mara, that's…that's just incredible!"

"The vision mentioned a bond between us. Is that true? Do we share a bond already?"

"Oh, my love, there's been a bond between us since the moment you first aimed your blaster at me," Luke chuckled.

She glared at him, more out of habit than anything else. "So you always knew this would happen?"

"I never dared to hope this would happen, but I've certainly dreamed about it an awful lot."

"Even when you were seeing Callista?"

Luke was surprised at how the pang of hurt that usually came with that name had been reduced to barely a twinge. _No, not surprised, _he thought as he looked at the love of his life, _it only makes sense. _He had cared deeply for Callista, but Mara had always held his heart, even if he wasn't completely aware of it.

"Callista was…an experience that I'm grateful for, but my heart knew that she wasn't my soul mate. It just took a while for my head to realize that. Did I have erotic dreams about you while I was with her, no. I could never be disloyal to someone I'd pledged myself to in that way. But you were always, _always_ in some corner of my mind. Not a day went by that I didn't think about you in some way; wondering if you were all right; if you were still having the nightmares; if you were keeping up with the bit of training I gave you on Wayland; if you still wanted to kill me," he said as his mouth turned up in a wry grin.

"You'd better stay on my good side, Farmboy, because that could change if you seriously annoy me," Mara smirked.

Luke laughed and hugged her tightly to him again, kissing the top of her head before whispering in her ear. "Not a chance, Jade, I know you're really just a big softy now."

Mara punched him in the arm and Luke gasped, whining "Ow!" a little dramatically. She gazed down into his face and reached out to trace the curve of his cheek with her finger.

"Only with you, Luke. Only with you," she said softly.

Their lips met again, and Luke thought that he would never grow tired of kissing that beautiful mouth. Mara sighed and pulled away to look at him.

"So, this bond thing…"

"Oh, Mara, we've barely scratched the surface with it," Luke promised and his eyes were fairly twinkling with anticipation. "Do you trust me?"

"You know that I do."

Luke opened his mouth to speak and then paused as he felt a very hesitant probe at his senses. _Leia, being a little less intrusive this time,_ he realized. Placing one finger on Mara's lips as a 'wait a moment' gesture, Luke closed his eyes and reached back towards his twin.

**Hello, sister.**

**Luke! I'm not, ah, interrupting anything, am I?**

**Not at the moment, no.** He smiled as he could feel her faint embarrassment over their bond.

**It's just that I felt such a surge of elation and happiness from you. It was so strong that I…**

**Couldn't resist being a little nosy?**

**Oh, shut up! Just tell me, is it what I think it is? Are you and your lady love together?**

**My lady love. Very apt description, Leia. She told me she loves me just a few minutes ago.**

**Luke, that's wonderful! Do I get to know her name now?**

Luke laughed out loud at her characteristic impatience. **Hmm. No, I don't think so. I think I'll save it as a surprise for Han's birthday party.**

**Luke! That's not fair!**

**Goodnight, sister.** Very gently, so that Leia would know there was no hurt intended, Luke closed the connection between them, tightening the shields around himself and Mara.

"Ow!" he yelped at a sudden sharp pain in his finger and looked at Mara in surprise, yanking his hand away from her face. Briefly looking down at the teeth marks she had left, he glanced back up, glaring at her.

"Were you done?" she said sarcastically.

"Just remember, I bite back, Jade," Luke promised with a suitably evil grin.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm really scared, Farmboy. Now get on with what you were going to show me."

"A Jedi does not know impatience-" Luke broke that spiel off very quickly at the look she gave him. Both of them were quite aware that his own level of patience was about equal to a sand flea's. "Okay, okay," he laughed as he rolled to his side, pulling her with him as he sat up. They faced each other, sitting cross-legged.

A look of tenderness and concern transformed Luke's face as he looked at her. Mara gazed back at him questioningly.

"What I want to try is intense and very intimate, Mara. If you don't think you're ready for it-"

"Luke," Mara smiled as she interrupted him. "I love you. I'm ready, not just to learn more about you, but to learn more about the Force as well."

Luke honestly thought he might burst if the joy in his heart expanded any further. He couldn't help himself. Leaning towards her, he kissed her again. The kiss deepened and Luke gave a little groan as his hands unerringly found her breasts.

"What about…the…bond thing…you were-" Mara murmured against his mouth, even as her own hands began wandering over his body.

"Save time. Do both at once," Luke said as his lips trailed down her neck. One of his hands slid slowly down her belly to tease the sweet bud between her thighs. Mara moaned and rocked her hips towards his fingers. He gasped as her hand wrapped around his erection and stroked steadily.

No longer having to suppress his love for her, Luke found he couldn't resist saying it as well as showing it to her. It was as though every caress, every emotion was all the more intense now that they were sharing their true feelings with one another.

They continued to pleasure one another, their soft moans echoing around the room, until Luke's infamous impatience reared its head. With a muffled exclamation, he pulled Mara forward, bringing her legs over his until she was settled in his lap. With one hand gripping his manhood and the other gently pushing on her back, Luke slowly entered her. Mara gasped, throwing her head back, her eyes closed tightly as she held onto Luke's shoulders. Luke removed his hand and thrust forward, filling her completely. Mara couldn't help the little cry that escaped her.

"Look at me," he commanded quietly.

Her gaze slowly lowered from the ceiling to meet his. Blue and green stared into each other intently, seeing new depths, sensing ever deepening wells of emotion. The position they were in seemed all the more intimate, as it brought them perfectly face-to-face, neither of them in a dominant place. Rather, they were completely equal.

For an eternity, they didn't move. Luke's arms were wrapped around her back. Mara's arms were looped around Luke's neck. Their faces were centimeters apart, but they didn't kiss, merely held each other's gaze as they felt the Force begin to shimmer around them.

"Do you feel it?" he asked.

"Yes," she whispered.

He stretched out through the Force, finding Mara's presence there easily. Her sense reached back towards him and they shuddered as the two began to meld into one. The room around them fell away and all Luke was aware of was Mara, her body, her scent, her incredibly strong spirit within the Force. Every sense, both physical and mental, began to merge and mingle with hers in a potent mixture that was powerful in its intensity.

The joining reached an apex that left them clinging to one another, gasping for breath, bathed in each other's sweat and tears. When Luke's eyes found Mara's, he saw the amazement there that he knew was mirrored in his own expression. He _knew _this woman now. He knew her down to her very blood and bones. But it wasn't just her physical being that he knew. Her darkest fears, her deepest regrets, her greatest hopes and joys, her every secret wish and dream…he knew them as he knew his own. And she knew him in the same way. There would never be another being who knew him so completely and irrevocably, not even his twin.

Tenderly, Luke leaned his head forward until his forehead rested against hers. He didn't have the words to describe what he was feeling at that moment, but then, he didn't need words any longer. Mara understood exactly what he was feeling and felt the same way.

Mara sighed and wiggled a bit on his lap. Luke's shaft, still buried deeply inside her, gave a little twitch at the stimulation that provided. Mara looked at him and raised one eyebrow teasingly. Luke chuckled softly and brushed his lips over hers.

**Are we just going to let that go to waste?** Mara sent over their newfound bond.

**Absolutely not.**

Luke grinned as his hands drifted down to her hips and he took a firm grip on them, careful not to leave bruises on her tender skin. Mara moaned as Luke slowly began to help her move her body backwards and forwards, withdrawing almost until he left her, and then returning to penetrate her deeply. Luke's arms moved up to encircle her waist as Mara took over the motion of their lovemaking. He buried his face in the hair falling around her neck, again breathing in that scent that was now so much a part of him.

Their climax, synchronized beautifully over the bond, washed over them and they cried out at the same moment. While it was incredibly satisfying, it almost paled in comparison to the final seconds of cementing the Force bond. That had been beyond any physical experience Luke had ever had.

Exhaustion rolled over him and Luke found he was having a difficult time keeping his eyes open. A glance at Mara revealed that she was feeling the same thing. The Force had renewed him numerous times in the past, but the intense experience they had just shared was beginning to take its toll. Luke fell backwards onto his bed, pulling Mara with him and smiling as she curled up into his side. They each murmured words of love before falling into a deep sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Okay, I lied about the last chapter being the end of the happy...THIS chapter is the end of the happy, LOL. There's a little foreshadowing of Dark things to come, some Luke/Mara mushiness, and some Luke/Leia bonding (which I don't think there is near enough of, in profic or in fanfic).

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They spent the early part of the next morning in the bed, making love, laughing, and whispering their plans for the future. Luke showed her how to block him enough that she could have some privacy in her own thoughts, but still be connected to him. Mara could not believe the comfort the thought of always having him _there_ in that small place in her mind brought to her. The astonishing part was that it didn't scare her.

They talked about what Leia and Han would think, about how Mara would go about telling Karrde that he was about to lose his second-in-command, and how they would break the news to the Jedi on Yavin IV. They discussed her completing her Jedi training and where they would stay while she was doing that. Since Luke was in the process of setting up the Jedi Temple here on Coruscant, they mutually decided to make it their home base.

Mara couldn't help but feel a little residual fear at the thought of what the galaxy at large would have to say about their beloved hero becoming involved with a former Imperial and Palpatine's personal assassin, at that. Before the worries had even come fully to her mind, Luke was right there beside her, kissing her softly and laying her fears to rest. As she sat on the edge of the bed, he plopped down beside her, wrapping her in a one-armed embrace.

"My love, I don't care what the rest of the galaxy thinks. I've given them enough of my blood, sweat and tears over the last few years. If someone has a problem with my finding happiness with you, Force take them. I love you and I'm not ever going to give you up."

"But it will be difficult. You know that, don't you, Luke? That there are some people out there who will purposely make things hard for us. Fey'lya, for example?" Mara said with a sardonic smirk.

"Ugh, don't even mention his name in my presence. If there was ever one being who could make me forget I was a Jedi…" Luke growled. "But it doesn't matter. Of course it will be hard. But look at who we are. I'm the man who faced Darth Vader and the Emperor," he said with a wry grin. "You're the woman who threw off Palpatine's chains and made a new life for herself. Do you really think there's anything they can throw at us that we can't handle?"

"We do make a pretty good team," Mara said with a small chuckle.

Luke's face became serious and he reached over to take her hands in his. He slid off the bed to kneel in front of her and Mara's breath caught in her throat as she got a hint of what he was about to do through their bond. Luke grinned.

"I can see I'm going to have to try really hard to be able to keep any special surprises away from you." His face took on that earnest expression once more. "Mara, we do make a good team. And I want everyone to know that this is forever. Will you marry me?"

Mara was so emotional, she could barely speak. How like her farmboy…no flowery speeches or overwrought prose. Just a simple question with a simple answer. She couldn't even form the words, so she merely nodded, the tears blurring her vision. And a tiny part of her was still appalled at that. The Emperor's Hand habits were hard to break. But Luke understood and the brilliance of his smile made her forget her annoyance with the show of weakness.

As he took her into his arms and kissed her, Mara had the fleeting thought that no one deserved to be this happy.

It took Mara a full half hour to finally leave Luke's apartment later that morning, and that was just to get from the living room to the door. It took another fifteen minutes to actually get the door open, simply because they kept getting sidetracked and kissing and laughing. It was that much harder to see her walk away now, Luke realized as the door finally closed behind her.

Luke leaned his forehead against the door, keeping a mental link with her the whole time she walked down the hall and rode down on the turbolift. Eventually, they gently closed off the contact so that Mara could get her ship ready to take off, and go on to complete her trip to Alemir VI to meet Karrde. It was an amazing feeling, knowing that she was always there in that corner of his mind. Luke resisted keeping a stronger connection with her, understanding that Mara needed to concentrate on piloting her ship and he certainly didn't want to distract her in that, especially since neither of them had gotten much sleep.

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Leia tried to finagle the identity of his new heartmate out of him in between senate and budget meetings that day, but Luke was adamant about keeping it as a surprise for Han's birthday party. The twins had lunch together, a habit they'd started when Luke had begun the process of setting up the Jedi on Coruscant. He looked up at one point to see her staring at him with a soft expression on her face.

"What? Do I have sauce on my chin?" he asked.

"I've just never seen you - or sensed you - so happy before. It's wonderful," she said with a smile.

Luke blushed and grinned at her. "I don't think I've ever been happier, Leia."

"So, where is Lydia today?" Since Luke wouldn't give her the identity of his newfound love, Leia had taken to guessing names for the mystery woman.

"Nope, that's not it either," he smirked. "She does have a job, you know. I'm not her only responsibility, just the biggest one."

"And what does Selenia do?"

Luke laughed out loud as he shook his head. "You'll find out next week."

The thought had crossed Luke's mind that Leia was going to be pretty angry when she found out his lover was Mara Jade and that her brother had deliberately deceived her. He hoped that when his twin saw how happy the two of them were, that she'd be able to let it go quickly. Although, with Leia, one never knew.

"Oh, it's not fair! You've never been able to keep a secret from me before," Leia pouted.

"Only because I never really wanted to before," Luke said.

Although he smiled as he said it, Leia couldn't help but feel a little twinge of awe. Sometimes she forgot just how much power her brother held tightly leashed within himself. She remembered with apprehension Luke's time dwelling within the Dark Side. Leia hoped that this woman, whoever she was, wouldn't hurt her brother the way Callista had. Another bout with depression might send him to that shadowy place again.

Leia started in surprise when Luke reached out and took her hand in his, looking at her with an intensity that made her blink.

"You don't ever have to worry about that happening again, sister. I won't allow it to," he said.

Leia scowled at him, only semi-seriously, embarrassed at the ease with which he knew her thoughts.

"You shouldn't eavesdrop, little brother," she scolded.

"Who says you're older? You should remember your shielding."

"Look who's talking. Which one of us has been leaking more lately, hmm?" she asked with an arched brow.

Luke blushed again and ducked his head in that 'aw-gee' farmboy manner he'd never quite been able to shed.

"Well, my emotions have been pretty intense lately. You should be glad you didn't get bombarded. I managed to keep most of it from you."

"I'm surprised they couldn't feel your emotions on Yavin, Luke. Intense is an understatement." They got up from their table, having finished the meal, and strolled slowly towards the exit, Leia's hand in the crook of Luke's elbow.

"They wouldn't have felt it as strongly as you anyway. The bond makes it more powerful between us than most Force-sensitives."

"And do you have a bond with Doren?"

Luke laughed again as he handed his credit chip to the cashier at the diner that had become their regular spot. The young twi'lek girl had almost reached the point where she didn't gawk at seeing the Jedi Master and the Chief of State up close.

"Nice try, Leia," he said. "But you're not gonna get it out of me until next week."

As they stepped out onto the streets to make their way back to the Senate building, Luke automatically sensed the Noghri falling into place around them, out of sight, but still there. He tensed when he suddenly felt hostile eyes on him and paused, looking around. Leia looked up at him with a frown.

"What is it?"

Luke couldn't pinpoint where the hostility had come from, there were just too many sentient beings on the streets of Coruscant. It had been fleeting and was gone before he could focus in on it.

"Nothing. Just felt something a little weird there for a moment," he said and smiled at his sister to reassure her. "But this is Coruscant. Everybody's a little weird here."

"Especially you," Leia teased.

"Hey!" Luke protested with a smile.

They were once again strolling down the street when a particular store caught Luke's eye.

"I want to go in here for a moment."

Leia looked up at the name of the store and then looked at her brother in astonishment. Or rather, she looked at the back of his head because he was already going inside. She hurried to catch up.

"A jewelry store, Luke? What do you want to get in here?"

Her brother was already perusing the wares displayed under thick transparisteel. The store owner was hovering over him, nearly beside himself with excitement at having two such honored personages in his store.

Luke looked up at her with a wink and said, "A piece of jewelry, of course."

He straightened up suddenly and pointed his finger at one of the items in the case. "That one. I'd like to see that one."

"Of course, Master Skywalker. You truly have excellent taste," the owner gushed as he unlocked the case and brought the piece out to hand to Luke.

The man continued speaking as Luke took the ring, holding it up to the light as he gazed at it.

"This is a rare green halorian gem mined from underneath the oceans of Fresia. There are three color varieties, with the green being slightly rarer than the red and the blue."

Leia tuned out the man's voice as he went on describing the cut and clarity of the stone in the ring Luke was holding, staring instead at the rapt expression on her brother's face. She looked at the ring in his fingers and had to hold back a gasp. It really was an exquisite piece. And it was obviously meant for a special purpose.

"Luke?" she said, a question in her voice. She flicked her eyes over to the owner for a moment and then spoke to her brother over their bond, preferring to ask what she wanted to ask with a bit of privacy.

**Luke, you do know what a ring like that is customarily used for, don't you?**

She had already figured out that he probably wanted to give it to his lady love, but she wondered if he knew what that meant. He turned to look at her then and the brilliance of his smile caught her off guard. It had been a long time since Leia had seen Luke smile like that.

**Yes, I know.**

**Are you sure about what you're doing?** she asked, some of her protectiveness for her brother coming to the forefront.

**I've never been more certain of anything in my life, Leia. Besides, I already asked her.**

She couldn't hold back the gasp this time. The store owner looked at her curiously, but Leia ignored him.

_**And?** _she demanded when he didn't say anything else.

Luke grinned at her mischievously and whispered aloud, "She said yes."

Leia squealed, sounding more like a little girl than the chief of state, and threw herself at her twin, enveloping him in a huge hug. Luke laughed as he hugged her back, and half-turned to the store owner.

"I'll take it."

"Wonderful, Master Skywalker! And may I be the first…er, the second…to congratulate you," the man beamed as he looked at Leia. She had regained some of her composure, but the force of her grin almost rivaled Luke's by this point.

Luke could almost hear the man planning how he would advertise the fact that the revered Jedi Master had bought his future wife's engagement ring in _his _shop, but he didn't care. The revered Jedi Master was so happy he might have agreed to do a commercial on the holonet for the man if he'd asked.

"Will the ring need to be sized, Master Skywalker?"

"If it does, I can bring it back later, right? I'd really like to give it to her first."

"Certainly! And of course, there will be no charge for that service."

Several minutes later, Luke and Leia stepped out onto the busy streets of Coruscant again. He was sorely tempted to duck out of going back to the Senate building and race to his X-Wing to track Mara down at that very moment so he could give her the ring. The stone reminded him so vividly of the green of her eyes. Luke was careful to keep his feelings contained and not let them leak over the bond with Mara as he wanted to be able to surprise her when she got back.

Keeping the same emotions from leaking over his bond to Leia as well was a bit draining. He almost wished he could go home and take a nap, but another part of him rejoiced at the closeness with his two favorite women.

"Oh, please, Luke, give me a hint! I can't stand it," Leia begged.

"A man has to keep some things to himself, dear sister," Luke teased.

Once they got back to her office, Luke turned to her with a serious expression on his face. There was something that he had to make absolutely clear.

"Leia, this woman means everything to me. She's my life, she's my very breath. I hope that you will love her just as much as I do, but if you can't…"

Leia stared at him, her shock very visible on her face.

"What are you saying?" she whispered.

"If you make me choose between you and her…I will choose her," Luke said, trying to soften the obvious blow of his words by making his voice very calm and gentle.

"How can you say that? We're twins, Luke! Our bond-"

"Means the galaxy to me," he interrupted her. "But what would you do if I asked you to choose between me and Han?"

"You would never ask me to do such a thing!"

"No, I wouldn't. I just want you to remember, even if you get angry, that this is what I want, and it makes me happy."

"Am I going to be angry?" she asked, her gaze narrowing.

Normally, that look made Luke immediately fess up any and all wrongdoings. Leia had found that it worked fairly well on her husband, too. But this time, Luke continued to gaze at her calmly, the Jedi Master very much in evidence.

"I may have been dishonest with you about a couple of things. But it was necessary and I promise you will understand everything next week."

Leia stared at her little brother for a long moment, her mind whirling, trying to process what he was telling her. Luke had been like her other half since the moment they had met, even before she knew he _was _her other half. She thought of the many years they had been separated and knew she could never bear to be separated from him again.

_Not my little brother anymore, _she realized, _but a grown man who deserves to be happy. How could I ever try and take that away from him? _Even if she despised the woman he'd given his heart to, she would suppress it, Leia decided. Hell, she faked it in the Senate daily, she could do this. She carefully guarded these thoughts from him, not wanting him to know that she would go to those lengths.

"If she loves you, how could I not love her, Luke?" she said with a warm smile.

Again, the brilliance of his smile nearly blinded her and Leia had the thought that she'd seen Luke smile more today than she had in the last five years. If this woman could do that for Luke Skywalker, Leia might not have to fake it after all.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Here's where the dark stuff begins! Nothing too bad in this chapter, though.

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Later that night, Luke was tinkering with his lightsaber in the room that had become his workshop. The apartment the New Republic had given him was really too large for just one person, but Luke did appreciate having a place where he could fiddle with mechanical things. That was something he'd always done, even back on Tatooine, to take his mind off things. Missing Mara fiercely, he definitely needed something to take his mind off things.

He paused as he heard his door chime ring. Usually, he sensed anyone coming near his home long before they got there. _I must have been really preoccupied, _Luke thought with an embarrassed grimace. _Not very becoming of a Jedi Master._

Stretching out with the Force, Luke determined the identity of the person there. He wasn't actually too worried as most people wouldn't get past the locked door in the lobby and the security guards downstairs. The only ones who made it as far as his door were friends or New Republic officials or other Jedi. He smiled when he realized who it was…an old friend he hadn't seen in far too long. The smile turned into a puzzled frown as he sensed the other's upset.

Carefully laying the pulled apart lightsaber onto his work table, Luke walked swiftly towards the door. Waving his hand, he opened it with the Force as he was moving up the hallway.

"Wedge?" he asked. The dark-haired pilot turned to look at him and Luke could see the anguish in his face as well as reading it through the Force.

"Luke. I'm…I'm really sorry to bother you-"

"It's no bother. Please, come in and tell me what's wrong?"

Wedge moved hesitantly into Luke's apartment and walked into the living room, standing in the center of the room and looking completely lost. Luke closed the front door and walked up behind him, laying a calm hand on his friend's shoulder. The Corellian jumped in shock and Luke's worry increased. Wedge was definitely not acting like himself.

Quietly guiding Wedge to the sofa, Luke gently pushed the distraught man into the seat. He sat down on the chair beside the sofa and turned to face Wedge, waiting for his former wingmate to tell him what was wrong.

Wedge sat there for a long moment, not saying a word, and then he abruptly thrust a piece of flimsy at Luke.

Luke took it and read silently.

_We have your daughter._

_She will die unless you _

_contact Luke Skywalker_

_and direct him to this address._

_Tell no one else or she dies._

There was a time, date, and an address printed underneath the ominous words.

Sucking in a startled breath, Luke jerked his gaze back up to Wedge. "Syal?"

Wedge nodded. He cleared his throat and spoke quietly. "Iella was out shopping with her. She turned around for a second…no more than a second! And she was gone. Iella found her little bag in the middle of an aisle and that was attached to it."

"Did you contact NR Security?"

"No. Iella wanted to, but I talked her out of it. That was a hell of an argument," Wedge said and a wry ghost of a grin briefly appeared on his lips. "I wanted to bring it to you first, to see what you thought." He looked at Luke with hope in his eyes.

Luke was well used to that look, having seen it many times before in many desperate faces. But he'd never thought he would see it on Wedge Antilles' face. Corellians were notorious for their bravado, but Luke could sense it easily - Wedge was frightened out of his mind.

"How long ago did this happen?"

"About three hours."

The piece of flimsy was crumpled in Luke's hand as he clenched it into a fist, trying to damp down his fury. That someone would use a child to get to him…it was disgusting.

"I'm sorry, Luke. I know this has to be a trap. But it's my little girl," Wedge pleaded, misunderstanding Luke's reaction.

Luke looked at him sharply. "I'm the one who should be apologizing to you, Wedge. Obviously, this never would have happened to you if you didn't know me."

"You don't know that. No, give it back to me. I shouldn't have come here. I should have gone to Security as soon as Iella contacted me," Wedge said as he reached a hand out for the flimsy.

Luke moved it out of his reach and gave his friend an incredulous look. "Do you really think I'm not going to help you, Wedge? Syal is just as much a niece to me as Jaina is."

"But-"

"Look, this is obviously meant as a trap for me, I think we can agree on that. That means they probably won't hurt Syal. But what will they do if I _don't_ show up? I will not allow some thug to hurt your daughter because of me," Luke said harshly. He glanced down at the flimsy again, smoothing it out so he could read it once more. "They didn't give you much time. I'm supposed to be there in only an hour."

"Maybe we should contact Han or the Rogues-"

"You can call them and have them around the area as backup, but I need to go in by myself, Wedge, or they may follow through on this threat."

The two men stood and Luke started towards his bedroom to get dressed in his Jedi blacks. He was already mentally reviewing strategies in his head, his mind pushing forward to the mission ahead. Luke knew he had to set aside any personal feelings for Wedge, Iella and Syal if he wanted to be able to focus.

"It's too bad Mara isn't here," Wedge said with a little smile.

Luke froze in shock and turned back to his friend with a surprised look on his face.

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, isn't she the one that usually backs you up on stuff like this?" Wedge asked with a puzzled frown at Luke's reaction.

"Oh, of course," Luke stammered, feeling a blush steal over his face. "Uh, yeah, I wish she was here, too."

Feeling incredibly flustered, and embarrassed that Wedge was there to see it, Luke spun around and nearly ran into his bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he leaned his back against it for a moment and grimaced.

"Get a grip, Skywalker!" he muttered to himself.

Emerging several minutes later in his Jedi 'uniform', Luke was feeling much more in control of himself and his emotions. _I can't keep reacting like that whenever someone says her name or this secret will never make it to Han's birthday party. _Resolutely, he pushed all those thoughts aside and focused on Syal Antilles.

One hand reached down automatically to check his lightsaber and he looked down in surprise when it wasn't there. Remembering where it was, Luke let out a curse.

"What is it?" Wedge asked.

"My lightsaber is in my workroom, completely torn apart," Luke said with a frown.

"Can't you fix it?" Wedge asked and then winced when Luke gave him a _look. _"Sorry, of course you can fix it. So…"

"I don't have time if I'm going to be at this place by the deadline they gave you."

"You don't have another one?"

Luke smiled wryly. "I gave my spare one to Mara Jade about five years ago."

"So what are you going to do?" Wedge asked worriedly.

"I'll do without it. A Jedi's ally is the Force, not just his lightsaber. Although they do come in very handy, I'll admit."

Luke was more nervous about going into an unknown situation without his lightsaber than he was willing to let on to Wedge. His friend was already worried enough, Luke didn't want him to have doubts about his ability to handle the predicament they'd found themselves in.

Luke had to borrow a blaster from Wedge as he hadn't owned one in almost ten years, ever since he'd started exclusively using his lightsaber. When this was over, the first thing on his list would be to build a back-up saber.

The ride to the address given in the message took less than half an hour. Since Wedge drove a speeder the same way he flew an X-wing, it probably would have taken anyone else quite a bit longer. The two friends were silent during the trip, each lost in their own thoughts, but each taking comfort in the other's presence. The building in question was an abandoned factory in the mid-levels and, in the way of most buildings on Coruscant, it was massive.

Luke and Wedge sat in the Corellian's speeder for a long moment, staring at the place. The Jedi was trying to ignore the bad feeling that was surging at him in the Force. It didn't matter…there was no way he could _not_ do this. Wedge was counting on him.

Wedge had tried to convince Luke that they should both go in, but Luke had refused to allow him to. Instead, the Jedi had instructed his friend to call Han and some of the other Rogues to come and surround the area as backup. As Luke moved to get out of the speeder, Wedge's voice made him pause.

"Please bring my little girl back to me safe, Luke," he said, his voice a quiet plea.

"I will," Luke promised, knowing that he had to _do_, and not _try_.

Again, Luke started to exit the speeder and again, Wedge's words halted him for a moment.

"You watch out for yourself, too, all right?"

"I will," Luke said again and managed to give his friend an encouraging smile.

Luke stepped out of the speeder and walked slowly towards the entrance of the building, opening himself up to the Force as he did so. He didn't sense any hostile beings close by and there were no bubbles of empty Force space, so no ysalamiri either. He decided to take that as an optimistic sign.

Moving cautiously through the darkened hallways of the factory, Luke kept his senses on alert for either Syal or the people who had taken her. There were silent machines, towering stacks of crates and meandering hallways that made the trek very time-consuming and hazardous. Luke wasn't certain if it reassured him or worried him more that he had made it as far as he had without encountering anyone.

Just as he was beginning to wonder if Syal's kidnappers had sent them on a wild bantha chase, Luke suddenly heard the faint sound of a small child crying. He tightened his grip on the blaster in his hand, almost wincing at the wrongness of the way it felt. He hadn't realized just how much his lightsaber had become a part of him.

Renewing his focus once again, Luke moved in the direction of the muffled sound. Now he could sense Syal's faint presence in the Force, but he still couldn't sense anyone else nearby. The sounds of the little girl's crying were growing louder as he got nearer to wherever it was she was being held. Finally, stepping into a large empty room, Luke saw a chair on the opposite wall.

Sitting in it, tied securely with thick ropes, was Syal Antilles. Luke breathed a quiet sigh of relief that she appeared to be mostly unharmed. She was sobbing quite insistently, and her hair, which had been in a cute little braid around the top of her head, was all mussed and tangled. Her face was dirty and there was a red mark on her right cheek. Luke's jaw tightened as he realized the kidnappers must have struck her at some point.

Holstering the blaster, as he didn't want to frighten her any further, Luke strode quickly across the room towards the little girl. He attempted to smile, wanting to reassure her.

"Hey, Syal. It's me, Uncle Luke. You remember me, right?" he said softly as he knelt in front of her.

She had gasped in shock at first seeing him and her eyes had widened with fear, but now Luke saw the glint of recognition enter her expression. Her little head jerked forward in a nodding motion.

"Your daddy sent me here to get you. I'm going to untie you now and I'll take you to him, okay? Don't worry, everything's going to be all right," Luke said soothingly as he reached out to begin untying her bonds.

"I w-want my d-daddy!" she wailed pitifully.

"I know, I know," Luke crooned as he paused to put one hand on her cheek, gently stroking the red mark her kidnapper had left. "He's waiting outside. I'm going to take you to him. And I'll tell him how very brave you're being. You are a very brave girl, you know," Luke said and smiled at her again as he went back to untying the knots.

"I d-don't feel very brave," she sniffled.

"Well, you are. And I should know, I've rescued quite a few princesses in my time," Luke grinned. He was pleased to see a tiny little grin on her face in return, even if her chin was still a bit wobbly.

"I'm not a princess."

"That's not what your daddy said. He told me you were his little princess," Luke whispered with a conspiratorial air. To his great relief, she giggled a little bit. He hoped that she would be able to come through this experience unscathed.

He finally succeeded in getting the last knot undone and Syal surged forward, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, her sobs beginning again. Luke held her close for a long moment, whispering reassurances into her ear, stroking her trembling back. She was only a few months older than Jaina and Jacen, and Luke couldn't help but feel anger that someone would hurt something so innocent.

Straightening up, Syal still attached to his neck like a limpet, Luke turned to survey the room again, his uneasiness about the simplicity of the little girl's 'rescue' growing ever greater. Cautiously, he began to make his way back towards the door where he'd entered, his senses still on alert for anything sinister.

When it came, it still managed to take him by surprise, and Luke had a second to reflect ruefully that he had been letting his training slip in the last two or three months. A space in the floor beneath him, which had seemed solid when he'd passed over it several minutes ago, suddenly gave way and he was falling into a black hole. He grunted and Syal shrieked in his ear as Luke instinctively twisted his body in midair to make sure that the little girl wouldn't be under him when they landed.

They hit the ground with a thud a few seconds later, briefly knocking the wind out of Luke. It hadn't been a very long fall, so Luke figured they'd only dropped about a story. He struggled to his feet, not an easy task as Syal had begun crying again and also refused to release her death grip on his neck.

"Shh, it'll be all right, sweetheart," Luke tried to comfort the sobbing child.

"I w-want my m-momma!" she wailed.

"I'm going to make sure you get back to her, sweetie, I promise."

"Wh-where are we?" she sniffled and Luke thought her cries seemed to have calmed a bit.

"We fell through the floor, but that's about all I can tell you. But hey, it's not the first time I've fallen into a big hole. We'll be fine," he tried to reassure her again. _At least there's no rancor down this hole…I hope._

"It's dark in here!"

"I know, but I don't have a light."

"Oh, please, allow me."

The dark voice was unexpected and Luke stiffened, turning in the blackness towards the direction he believed it to have come from. A glowstick flared to life and Luke flinched at the sudden brightness in the small area. Once his eyes had adjusted, he peered at the man holding the light. He was inside the cage with them, although well beyond arm's reach.

"Dr. Berdin?" he asked incredulously, although some tiny part of him wasn't surprised.

"So, you do remember me! I'm flattered, Master Skywalker," Viktor Berdin said with a sneer.

Luke's expression smoothed into a blank slate as he started to pull on the Force for calmness. He could not let Berdin see how troubled the situation he was in was making Luke feel. The calm expression faltered as he found himself unable to access the Force. It was as if the bountiful energy field he'd relied on for most of his life was there, but just out of his reach, blocked from him somehow. Luke turned a cold glare on Berdin.

"Did the ysalamiri cost you a fortune?" he taunted.

"Do you really think that those vermin are the only way to cut a Jedi off from the Force? Take a closer look at where you are."

Warily, Luke's eyes darted around the area that the glowstick illuminated. They had fallen through the floor into a huge cage, the bars extending from the floor to the ceiling. Something attached to one of the bars about three meters up caught his eye. It was a round object about a handspan wide, made out of some kind of dark metal, with a pulsing light in the center of it. Luke's frown deepened as he glanced to his other side and then behind him and then back to the front of him. There was one of those things on each of the four sides of the cage.

"Those are disruptor disks. Once every second, they send out a pulse that disrupts the natural energy field within two meters of them. By placing them all around you, I've effectively neutralized your connection to your precious Force. And I don't even have to feed them. Convenient, wouldn't you say?"

Luke's gaze jerked back to the man who threatened him and Syal, already pondering whether he could take the older man by surprise, even if he was hampered by a five-year old in his arms. The Force wasn't the only thing that made Luke Skywalker a formidable foe. He'd been a rebel long before he was a Jedi.

He froze at the sight of the blaster now aimed directly at his chest. Automatically, he shifted Syal to the side so that the blaster was not pointed at her back. The child had her face buried in Luke's shoulder, not wanting to look at the face of the man who had so frightened her. Luke gazed at Berdin impassively.

"I presume you want something from me or you wouldn't have gone to this much trouble."

"I don't want anything from you, Jedi," Berdin spat the title as an insult, but Luke remained emotionless. "But I do have something planned for you."

"Let me guess. My head on a pike?" Luke said with an affected weary tone.

"That will be the end result. But there are many ways a man can be hurt in between now and that moment, Skywalker," Berdin said, with an evil smile.

Luke felt a cold chill run up his spine at the utter sincerity of the doctor's hatred and ill intentions. For the first time in a very long while, Luke felt an edge of real fear curling along his senses. Inexplicably, his thoughts turned to Mara and he had the sudden desperate urge to see her, to hold her in his arms. That urge was nearly swallowed by the overwhelming doubt that he would ever do so again.

Pushing the fear aside, Luke took another quick glance around at the bars of the cage. They were narrow enough to prevent him from squeezing through, but that would hopefully not be the case with Syal. He looked back at Berdin and even without being able to touch the Force, Luke could almost feel the malevolence rolling off the man.

"And what about her?" Luke asked with a nod of his head in Syal's direction.

"Well, there can't be any witnesses left alive, of course," Berdin said with a falsely sympathetic smile.

Luke's jaw clenched in frustrated anger. It didn't matter what Berdin had planned for him. He could deal with whatever the bastard decided to do to him. But Luke would not allow an innocent five year old girl to be killed because of him.

Perhaps he was unable to touch the Force at the moment, but Luke had been honing his speed and reflexes for the last dozen years or so and he knew what he was capable of. Reaching up, he wrapped one hand around Syal's upper arm and wrenched her away from his neck, doing his best to ignore her yelp of fright, and tossed her as gently as he could a few paces behind him. At almost the same moment, he rushed forward and grabbed the end of the blaster in Berdin's grip with his bionic hand, pushing it up towards the ceiling. His other hand came up to grasp the doctor around the throat.

Berdin was startled only for a bare instant and then his features darkened with rage and he struggled against Luke's hold. The blaster fired once up into the air and Luke grimaced, glad that it was his artificial hand holding the weapon or he would have had a nasty burn on his palm. Behind him, Luke could hear Syal screaming.

"Syal, run!"

Her wails only grew louder and he could tell that she was not moving. Gritting his teeth against Berdin's strength, which matched his own without the Force, plus the doctor had at least a dozen centimeters in height on Luke, the Jedi called to Wedge's daughter again.

"SYAL! Run and hide, NOW!"

As the two of them fought for control, Luke managed to catch Syal slipping through the bars of the cage out of the corner of his eye. A burst of relief flowed through him and he could only hope that he had gained her enough time to get away.

"How very noble and self-sacrificing of you, Jedi!" Berdin grunted through his exertions. "But it doesn't change your circumstances."

"Doesn't matter. At least she'll be safe from you," Luke replied through clenched teeth.

Berdin's laughter sent another chill down Luke's spine and he suddenly found himself being forced down, the doctor's greater height winning the advantage. The man was much stronger than he looked at first, Luke realized with dismay.

"The others will take care of her before she can escape."

Luke started in surprise at the doctor's threat, his concern for Syal's well-being causing him to lose his concentration for a moment. It was only a moment, but it was enough for Berdin to throw Luke off and knock him to the ground. Before he could scramble to his feet again, Luke looked up into the muzzle of Berdin's blaster.

"Say good-bye to your life, Skywalker," Berdin said coldly.

Luke stared up at him without expression, unwilling to let the doctor have the satisfaction of an emotional response. Just as Berdin's finger squeezed on the trigger, Luke was conscious of a tiny flicker of the Force teasing the edge of his perception. The earlier blaster bolt had, unknown to either of the combatants, struck one of the disruptor disks, and Luke had fallen on the cusp of the dead zone of the other disks' range. Instinctively, the Jedi Master sent a sharp cry of distress out through the Force.

The blaster fired and his world went dark.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Well, here's where the angsting begins in earnest. Warning for character death in this chapter. (evil smirk)

* * *

On Yavin IV, several of the stronger Jedi trainees awoke crying from vague nightmares. Jedi Masters Tionne and Kam Solusar and Streen shuddered and looked at each other in shock. Jedi Knight Kyp Durron barged into the lounge set aside for the adults at the Academy and gaped at the three of them.

"Did you feel it, too?" he gasped.

Tionne's pearl eyes filled with tears as she nodded without speaking. The four of them could think of nothing to say, hoping that what they had felt through the Force was wrong, a mistake somehow.

* * *

In her apartment in the former Imperial Palace on Coruscant, Chief-of-State Leia Organa Solo sat straight up in her bed with an anguished cry. Her husband jerked awake beside her and looked around the room in confusion for some unknown danger. 

"Leia?"

Barely two seconds later, their bedroom door opened and three small bodies came flying towards their bed. Jacen, Jaina and Anakin were crying uncontrollably as they plowed into their parents. Leia barely noticed them as she seemed to be in some kind of shock.

"Leia?" Han asked again, a little more sharply this time.

Suddenly, he caught something of what the kids were sobbing. They were crying 'Uncle Luke' over and over again. Han grasped Leia's face between his hands and forced her to look at him.

"Leia! Is it the kid? What's wrong?"

"He…I…it was panic, fear and shock all at once…and now nothing. I can't feel him in the Force anymore, Han!"

Han paled as they continued to stare at each other in disbelief. In the corner of the room, his comlink started to beep.

* * *

"Of course it was something important, Talon! And I was only a few hours late. There was no harm done," Mara said, sighing in exasperation at her boss' stubborn expression. 

They were standing on the bridge of the _Wild Karrde _and she was trying to calm him after he'd given her his patented angry glare because she hadn't arrived at their rendezvous on schedule. Her explanation of 'something urgent' on Coruscant hadn't gone over too well. _Still_, she thought to herself in irritation, _he should be a little more flexible. It's not like I've ever been late before!_

"I think I'd be a little more understanding if you told me what was so urgent that it caused you to be late for a meeting with our biggest client, Mara," Talon said in clipped tones.

"Look, as hard as it may be for you to believe, I do have a private life and I don't-"

The shockwave slammed into her consciousness with all the subtlety of a meteor making landfall. Mara cried out in agony, clutching the sides of her head and falling to her knees. Talon jerked forward in surprise, grabbing her by the shoulders and calling her name, but she could barely hear him.

As suddenly as it had begun, the pain ended. Desperately, Mara searched for him over their bond, but could find no trace of his presence. The small corner of her mind where his essence had comfortably nestled was abruptly dark and empty.

"No…no…NO!" she screamed.

One of her hands flailed out and grabbed Talon by the front of his shirt. "Take me back to Coruscant," she gasped.

"Mara, tell me what the hell just happened-"

Faster than he could blink, Talon was pinned up against the wall, a forearm pressed into his throat as he stared the Emperor's Hand in the face. "Take me back to Coruscant, NOW!"

Talon swallowed, the best that he could with the force of her arm against his throat, and called out, "Aves?"

"Yeah, boss?" Aves replied, his voice faint with shock. The entire crew was staring in amazement at Mara Jade holding their leader up against the wall, but no one moved or said a word.

"Set our course for Coruscant, if you would, please."

* * *

Wedge glanced down at his chrono for what must have been the hundredth time. Luke had disappeared into the abandoned factory almost thirty minutes ago and Wedge had received no communication from him in that time. 

Of course, Wedge had spent most of that time on his comlink, getting in touch with various members of Rogue Squadron, asking them to meet him at the building. He had tried to avoid giving out too much information over the comm, but he figured that most of his squad mates could tell that something serious was up as every one of them promised to be on their way as soon as they could.

Corran Horn. Wes Janson. Hobbie Klivian. Tycho Celchu. Gavin Darklighter. Wedge ran down his mental list with a nod, satisfied that he had called everyone. Now the only one left was Solo.

When he put Han's frequency in, the comm seemed to beep forever before his fellow Corellian finally answered. When Han did, his voice was sharp and tense.

"Uh, I'm not calling at a bad time, am I, Han? This is Wedge."

"Wedge. Yeah, actually it is a bad time. Something's happened, I'm not sure what, but Leia and the kids are all freaking out about something in the Force. Have you talked to Luke recently?"

Wedge's face lost all color and he stared at his comlink in horror.

"Wedge? You still there?"

"Y-yeah...I...are you sure it's something to do with Luke?"

"Well, he and Leia do have that weird twin thing, so yeah, I'm pretty sure. Why?" Han asked and Wedge could hear the suspicion mounting in his voice. "Do you know what's goin' on, Wedge?"

"Unfortunately, I think I do," Wedge whispered. He quickly explained the situation so far to Han, holding the comlink away from his ear at Solo's violent spate of curse words when he got to the part about Luke going into the building alone.

"I'm on my way. I'll be there in less than twenty," Han fairly growled into the comlink after Wedge gave him the location of the factory.

Wedge clicked off the comlink and looked up at the building, fear for his daughter and his friend rising in his gut. Decision made, he pulled his blaster out and walked resolutely inside.

The corridors were dark and Wedge moved down them warily, making no sound, but keeping both ears and eyes open for any sign of Luke or Syal. His comlink beeped and he cursed silently as he pulled it off his belt and answered it.

"Wedge, where are ya? We're outside this place you told us to meet you," Wes's voice crackled over the comlink.

Wedge knew that 'us' undoubtedly meant Wes and Hobbie. Tersely, he informed them that he was inside the building because he thought Luke and Syal were in danger and told them to have one of them follow him inside, using caution, and station the other outside to wait on the rest of their friends to arrive.

"Will do, Commander," Wes replied, his voice utterly serious for once.

With that done, Wedge switched off his comlink, not wanting it to interrupt him anymore. His face was a mask of grim determination, but his insides were beginning to tremble with fear. He had never been a big believer in the Force until he'd met Luke and seen him do amazing things...and he had seen firsthand the uncanny bond that existed between Luke and Leia. If she believed something was wrong, she was probably right.

"Daddy?"

The muffled voice had him spinning in his tracks and he stared in disbelief at Syal crawling out of a ventilation duct. She took one stumbling step towards him and then she was crying his name again as she ran to him, her arms outstretched. Wedge dropped the blaster and fell to one knee as she reached him, wrapping her in a tight embrace as tears began to stream down his cheeks.

Wedge held Syal at arm's length for a long moment, his parent's eye wandering over her to make sure that she wasn't injured. Then he pulled her in close for another tight hug, almost afraid to ever let her go.

"Daddy, we have to help Uncle Luke," she whispered in his ear.

Wedge jerked backwards and looked his daughter in the eye.

"What do you mean? Where is Uncle Luke?"

"Th-the bad man got him," Syal said, her eyes wide with fright.

Wedge tensed as he stared at his daughter. "Do you remember how many bad men there were, sweetheart?" he asked carefully.

"I only saw one, Daddy." Her lower lip began to tremble. "But he was really mean. He scared me a lot."

"Wedge!"

Wedge stood up at the sound of his name being called and looked down the corridor the way he'd come into the building. A sense of relief swept over him as he saw Wes, Han Solo and Corran Horn jogging towards him. The three of them spared a moment to speak comfortingly to Syal, glad that she was unharmed.

"What's going on?" Han asked grimly. "Where's Luke?"

Wedge turned back to Syal. "Do you remember what happened, Syal?"

"Me and Uncle Luke fell into this big hole and there was the mean man in there he had a glowstick and we were in a cage and then Uncle Luke threw me and then he started fighting with the mean man and he told me to run and at first I was scared but then he really yelled at me and told me to run and hide so I did and then I saw you coming down the hall and I came out of my hiding place so I could get to you," Syal said, finishing her story with a deep breath.

"Which way, Syal?" Han asked, trying to be calm so he wouldn't scare the little girl any more than she already was, but he could feel panic battering the edge of his senses.

Syal pointed towards a hallway that crossed the one they were standing in. Wedge picked his daughter up and handed her over into Wes's arms. Syal protested for a moment, but Wedge reassured her that her mother was waiting for her at home and that quieted her down.

"Wes, take her home. Tell Iella I'll be back as soon as I find Luke."

Wes nodded and turned to head back out into the streets of Coruscant, glancing back over his shoulder once to see Han, Wedge and Corran disappear around the corner of the hallway Syal had indicated.

The three men didn't speak, concentrating instead on searching for any signs of Luke or the man who'd taken Syal. Corran had his lightsaber ignited and at the ready and the other two had their blasters drawn, not willing to take the chance of being surprised by anything. The eerie silence of the air around them had them all on edge, so when they stepped through the next doorway and looked across the room to see a crumpled form on the floor, they froze for a heartbeat.

Han instantly recognized Luke's Jedi uniform and, without another thought for any kidnappers, ran headlong to Luke's side. Corran and Wedge were two paces behind him. Luke was lying facedown on the dirt-covered floor, ominously still. Han fell to his knees beside his brother-in-law, reaching out to grab Luke by the shoulders, carefully rolling him over to his back.

"Oh, sith!" Wedge gasped as he saw the blaster burn dead in the center of Luke's chest. The pool of blood under Luke told them that he'd been slowly bleeding to death for a while and the whiteness of his face only reinforced the fact.

Han was cradling Luke's head in the crook of his arm, calling his brother's name insistently. His other hand was pressed on Luke's chest wound, in the useless hope of stemming blood that had long stopped flowing.

"Luke!" Han yelled. "Not breathing. He's not breathing!" Remembering the basic first aid that most soldiers and rebels were taught, he laid Luke's head down on the ground, pinched the Jedi's nose shut, leaned down to place his mouth over Luke's, and tried to force air into his brother's lungs. Wedge dropped to his knees on Luke's other side, his hands taking the place of Han's over the chest wound.

Wedge watched silently as Han attempted to force Luke to breathe for what seemed like an eternity before a chilling realization began to slowly settle over him. _We're too late._

"Han…" Wedge began.

Han ignored him, continuing his steady breathing into Luke's slackened mouth.

"Han, he's gone," Wedge said, his voice breaking.

Solo looked up at him then for a moment, his eyes blazing with pure fury. "Shut up! I am NOT going to let him die!"

"It's too late, Han. He's already… I can't feel him. In the Force, I can't sense him at all," Corran said in a low voice.

Han glared up at Horn from his position beside Luke. He began shaking his head angrily.

"No, no, you're wrong. We just need to get him to a medcenter, get him into a bacta tank and he'll be fine. He's been through much worse than this-"

He broke off as he turned his head back to look at Luke. Han Solo was familiar with death. He'd seen it many times in his life, as an Imperial soldier, as a smuggler, and as a rebel. The utter stillness of Luke's form, the whiteness of his skin…Han knew what those things meant. His little brother was dead.

For the first time, Han realized that Luke's eyes were partially open and he felt a sharp pain pierce his chest at his brother's sightless gaze. A harsh sob forced its way out of his throat as he raised a hand to gently close Luke's eyes. His fingers left little smears of blood from the blaster wound on Luke's eyelids and Han's vision blurred with tears.

Han gathered Luke's limp body into his arms, pressing his forehead against Luke's cheek as he began to slowly rock back and forth, his heart breaking as images of the kid in years past flashed through his mind. Tears flowed uncontrolled down his face and the only thing he could think was _How the hell am I going to tell Leia?_

* * *

Han didn't remember much of the next few hours. Later, he would be grateful that Corran, Wedge, Gavin, and Tycho were there, Wes and Hobbie having taken Syal back to the Antilles home. Corran took the responsibility of calling the Jedi Academy, while Tycho called New Republic Security. 

The NRS officers arrived, shaken by the identity of the victim, but still professional enough to do their jobs. They questioned Wedge and moved around the scene where Luke's body lay, gathering evidence and making notations on datapads. Han flinched as the workers placed Luke's body into a dark bag and zipped it closed over his face.

They lifted the bag onto an anti-grav stretcher, preparing to take him away. Han suddenly couldn't bear to let them take Luke without seeing him one more time.

"Hold on," he called as they turned to leave the room.

He walked slowly over to the stretcher, his hands shaking as he partially unzipped the bag to reveal Luke's face, already an ashen shade of gray. Han put one hand on Luke's cheek, shuddering as he felt how the skin had begun to cool. Leaning down, he kissed Luke's forehead.

"We will get whoever did this to you, Kid, I swear," he said as he straightened back up.

By the time he got home to Leia, it was going on 0300. There would be many decisions that would need to be made in the next few days, but right now, Han knew that Leia was going to need him. He dreaded having to tell her that one of her worst nightmares had come true.

As it turned out, he didn't have to tell her anything. She knew. _Of course she would know_, Han thought. Still, she didn't want to believe.

The moment Han walked through their front door, the first words out of Leia's mouth begged him to deny what she knew. Her eyes had already seen the blood covering the front of his shirt and she blanched, swaying on her feet for a moment.

"Tell me he's okay, Han. I need you to tell me he's all right."

"Leia…" he said sadly, his voice trailing off. _Damn, I don't think I can make myself say the actual words!_

"Please! Tell me that my brother, my twin, my other half is okay! Because if he's not, I don't think…I can't…" She brought both of her hands up to cover her mouth as she stood there in the middle of their living room, staring at him with eyes filled with pain.

Han swallowed and looked at her, hating himself for having to be the one to confirm what she couldn't bear to consider.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry-"

His inadequate words were cut off at the wail of absolute anguish that erupted from Leia, the sound of it punching him in the gut. Han was beside her in an instant, catching her before she could fall to the floor in grief.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Angst, angst, and oh, yeah...some more angst in this chapter. Nothing but wailing and gnashing of teeth, and grieving for poor Lukie. And trying not to give away too much here (although I'm probably as transparent as glass), those who are fearing that this is a deathfic probably shouldn't get too worried...**

* * *

The news had flown around Coruscant like wildfire by the next day…Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, the galaxy's favorite son, was dead. Citizens began to gather outside the Manarai Medical Center, mourning and wanting to catch a glimpse of the last Princess of Alderaan.

The masses were sorely out of luck in hoping to see Leia, however. She had closed herself up in her room to grieve for her twin in privacy. She would not even allow Han or the children inside. Leia knew it was selfish, but she simply needed some time to adjust to being without her brother.

She lay curled into a tight little ball in the middle of her bed, using every bit of her fledgling Force abilities to recall every moment she'd ever spent with Luke. Leia wanted to hold those memories in her heart and in her head, for fear that she would begin to forget. She had difficulty sometimes calling Bail Organa's face to her mind, and the thought of not being able to picture Luke's face frightened her.

Leia felt as though she had lost the last piece of who she really was. Luke and his friendship had been the only thing that had saved her sanity after Alderaan. He had been the only one who could soothe her breaking heart in those long months without Han after Bespin. Even when he had come so close to following in their father's footsteps at Byss, it had been _her _and the love she had for him that brought him back.

She had not even been to see his body. She wasn't sure if she would be able to do so. Leia wanted to remember him as the last time she'd seen him, when he'd been smiling that brilliant smile and had seemed so happy. It had been a long time since she had seen her little brother that happy.

_Little brother…_

Never again would she hear that cocky tone in his voice as he said 'Who says you're older?' Fresh tears began to fall as she thought of a hundred small things that she would miss so very much. The way he still blushed when someone told an off-color joke; the way he and Han would good-naturedly argue about who was the better pilot; the way he was so patient and gentle with Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin; the way he always had time for every question the young students at his Academy could ask.

Lingering on the thought of the last time she had seen him, Leia remembered the ring he had bought. She sat up with a gasp. Somewhere on Coruscant, there was a young woman who was as devastated as Luke's sister was. Unfortunately, Leia had no way of knowing who the woman Luke had given his heart to was. It would certainly be very difficult for Luke's family to seek her out. Leia could only pray that Luke's girlfriend would come to them.

She had the unexpected urge to go to Luke's apartment and find that ring. Leia wanted to be able to hold something that had been so important to Luke. And when his fiancée showed up, Leia would give it to her and welcome her to the family. It would be like still having a little part of Luke with them.

For the first time since finding out that she had lost her brother, Leia felt a sense of purpose. Even if it was something as trivial as holding that ring, it gave her the courage to get up off the bed where she had lain for over twenty-four standard hours. As she moved to get up, her long hair got snagged under her elbow and she gave a little gasp of pain.

Carefully raising her elbow off the strands, she sat up and gathered some of her hair in her fingers. Staring at it blankly, Leia felt as though she were looking at some strange foreign object. This hair, which she had not cut in almost twenty years, was a symbol of the royal house of Alderaan, of Princess Leia Organa. And did that woman exist anymore, really? The last tie to that stranger was gone with her brother's death.

Standing up, Leia moved into the refresher that was connected to her and Han's bedroom. As though in a daze, she opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of scissors. Giving herself no time to think, she took hold of a chunk of hair and ruthlessly squeezed the scissors through it. The discarded hair fell like wispy clouds around her feet as she methodically sliced all of it off at the level of her chin.

When she was done, Leia looked at the woman in the mirror with a detached expression. Yes, that was better. This person was half of who she used to be, just as Leia was half of what she had once been with Luke.

Leia looked down at her rumpled clothing in disgust. She couldn't go to Luke's apartment and find the ring looking like this! Stripping down to her bare skin, Leia stepped into the shower, rinsing away the grime of the last day, wishing that she could as easily rinse away the pain in her heart. Her head felt strange, so much lighter than before. She ran her fingers through her newly shorn locks and wondered what Luke would have thought of the look.

She closed her eyes against the rush of anguish just thinking Luke's name brought to her. Leia wondered how long it would be before that ache wasn't quite so sharp. Stepping out of the shower, she ran her fingers through her hair again, oddly relieved that she wouldn't have to spend forever arranging it anymore. She simply picked up a comb and worked out the tangles and then left it hanging, still wet, around her face.

Standing in front of her closet, she was at a momentary loss as to what she should wear. Nothing seemed to be right, until her eyes fell on a black pant suit. It had been a gift from Luke that she had never worn, because Leia never wore black…that was _his_ color. She picked up the sleeve, letting the silky material run over her fingers and then pulled the ensemble out to hold it up to her chest in front of the mirror. Yes, this would do. This would be perfect. Black was the color of mourning on some worlds, wasn't it? And the color would make her feel closer to Luke.

When she opened the bedroom door, four pairs of eyes shot towards her anxiously. She felt a twinge of guilt at ignoring them for the last day, especially the children. They would be missing their Uncle Luke and they probably didn't understand why he had been taken from them so soon. _I'll make it up to them, but first I have to go get that ring._ Leia didn't understand why the ring had taken on such importance, she only knew that it had and she wouldn't be able to rest and begin healing until she had it in her hand.

"I have to go to Luke's apartment."

"Sweetheart, are you sure you're ready for that?" Han asked. She could see his eyes staring in disbelief at her hair, but he didn't say anything.

"Yes. There's something there that I want to get. I want to make sure it doesn't get lost."

"Mommy, your hair," Jaina said with disappointment. Jaina had looked forward to having her hair be as long as her mother's in the Alderaanian tradition.

"It was just hair, Jaina. It's not important anymore," Leia said quietly.

Anakin walked over and leaned against her leg, slipping his small hand into hers. "I like it, Mommy," he said with a shy smile as he looked up at her.

Leia smiled gently back down at him and ruffled his hair lightly. Han got up off the couch and moved to stand in front of her. She looked up at him and again felt the twinges of guilt. Han had loved Luke like a brother as well, and she could easily read the suffering in his eyes. He lifted one hand and touched her hair, wrapping a few strands around one finger.

"I like it, too, your highnessness," he said softly.

"Me, too," Jacen piped up, not wanting to be left out.

"Well, I guess I like it, too, then," Jaina said, only a little grudgingly.

Leia gave them all a wavering smile, the tears forming before she could stop them. A muffled little sob escaped her and then she gasped as Han swept her towards him in a fierce embrace. She melted into his strength, clinging to him as the children huddled around their legs.

"Oh, Han. How can I ever bear this?" she whispered in despair.

"Because you won't have to do it alone, Princess. We're right here with you, I promise," Han said hoarsely.

* * *

By the time the _Wild Karrde _reached Coruscant, Mara Jade's emotions had slipped behind a wall so thick that no one could penetrate it. Talon had attempted to question her about what had happened on the bridge two days ago, but she gave him no answers. She had stiffly apologized for shoving him up against the bulkhead, but said nothing further.

Of course, long before they reached the capitol of the New Republic, they had heard the news of Master Luke Skywalker's death over the holonet. Immediately, Talon sent Mara a shrewd glance and she figured that he had surmised that his second-in-command must have 'felt' whatever happened through the Force. He didn't question her about it, however, and she mused sardonically that he probably wasn't willing to risk life and limb again in order to do so.

When they landed, Mara told Talon bluntly that she was going to see Han and Leia, not willing to wait for him to give her permission. She was so closed up emotionally, that it didn't even faze Mara when he gently reproved her by saying that he would like to see the Solos as well.

When the two of them arrived at Leia and Luke's apartment building, they had to fight their way through a mob of curious onlookers and holoshills. Recognizing the trader and his fiery-haired employee as friends of the Skywalker/Solo clan, the reporters began shouting out questions, all of which were ignored. Until one particularly brave - or foolhardy - soul posed the suggestion, in a rather crude fashion, that there had been something more than friendship between Mara Jade and the Jedi Master.

Mara's head whipped around and her hand shot out faster than anyone could see to grab the man by the front of his tunic, jerking him up onto his tiptoes. Those nearby who could see what was happening gaped in astonishment.

"You keep your filthy mouth shut about things you know nothing about," Mara snarled.

The man simply gulped in fear, the look on Mara's face undoubtedly frightening the wits out of him. Talon reached over and placed his hand on her arm.

"Let him go, Mara. People who get their enjoyment from another's pain are not worth your trouble."

The redhead glared at the offensive man for another full ten seconds before she finally released him and turned to move past the crowds. NRS had set up a small corridor with barriers through the mob so that friends of the family, as well as investigators, could make their way through more easily.

At the door to the building, there were several guards stationed, checking the identification of everyone who attempted to gain entry. Mara chafed under these delays, but knew they were necessary.

On the ride up to Leia's top-level suite, Mara withdrew even further into herself, trying to ward off the pain of remembering the last time she'd been in this very turbolift. She and Luke had just spent an incredibly magic night together and he had asked her to marry him. As the lift passed Luke's floor, two below Leia's, Mara's stomach clenched and she forcefully pushed the agony deeper behind the walls she was building. Talon looked at her with a worried expression as she stood there, still as a statue, but he didn't say anything.

Lando Calrissian opened the door for them and behind him, Mara could see several other people milling about. They greeted one another somberly, Lando waving them inside the spacious apartment. Luke's mourners were standing and sitting in various places around the room, talking quietly in small groups.

"Mara, Talon. We tried to contact you, but couldn't get through. Course, I figured you'd already heard," Han Solo said as he walked up to them.

Talon gave Han a sympathetic look as they shook hands. "We were off-planet, but yes, we'd already heard. The news traveled quite fast."

"Yeah, bad news usually does," Han said sadly.

"Is there any information on who did this?" Mara asked, almost demanded. Han looked at her a little strangely before replying.

"No, not so far. The NRS boys couldn't find any prints, there were no witnesses except for Syal Antilles and she's so traumatized, she can't really remember anything."

"What does Syal have to do with this?" Mara asked.

Han gave a sigh, having forgotten that they'd kept the Antilles family out of the news for fear of repercussions against them. The only ones they were telling the whole story to were basically the ones already in the room with them. Briefly, he told them of Syal's kidnapping and Wedge's plea to Luke for help.

Mara cursed softly at the part where Luke went into a dangerous situation alone and without his lightsaber. _Farmboy, I wish you were alive so I could kill you myself. Oh, sith, I just wish you were alive! Damn it, I am NOT going to cry in front of all these people!_

She turned away sharply as she could feel the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. Frustrated at showing weakness in front of Han and Talon, Mara concentrated on burying her emotions ever deeper. She stiffened as Han reached out and touched her on the shoulder.

"Mara, you all right? I know that Leia and the other Jedi, uh, felt it when Luke…" he trailed off, still unable to say the words even now.

"Yes, I know. I felt it, too," Mara muttered. "Where is Leia?" she asked suddenly as she half-turned back towards them.

"She's out on the balcony, but she really doesn't want to see anyone right now."

"I have to talk to her. I'll only take a moment, I promise."

Han nodded quietly and waved his arm in the direction of their balcony. Mara returned his nod and made her way across the Solo's living room. When Mara stepped through the doors, Leia didn't turn around from her position at the railing. She was staring quietly out at the Maanari Mountains, turning a small box over and over in her hands. Mara stepped up beside her and leaned against the railing beside her, staring out at the mountains as well, making a pointed decision not to mention Leia's hair. Everyone grieved in different ways.

"I knew you'd come."

"He was my best friend."

"Mine, too," Leia whispered. "Already, I miss him so much."

"Me, too."

"He was in love, did you know that?" Leia asked suddenly, causing Mara to tense. "But he wouldn't tell me who she was because he wanted to surprise us at Han's birthday party. He looked so happy the last time I talked to him. Almost radiant," she said with a soft smile.

Mara had come out on the balcony to tell Leia of the secret relationship between her and Luke, but now that the moment was upon her, something held her tongue. _Tell her! Tell his sister what he meant to you, what you meant to him. Tell her now!_ Perhaps with Luke's death, the Emperor's Hand had come too far back and Mara's voice remained stubbornly still. A part of her wanted to hold on to the secret that was now hers and hers alone.

"I...yes, I knew about that."

Leia turned her gaze back out towards the mountains as a wistful look stole over her face. "Luke and I didn't find one another until we were eighteen years old, you know. Our entire childhoods were stolen from us. And now..." She paused, swallowing hard and trying to hold back tears. "Now, after only a little more than a dozen years, he's been stolen from me again."

"I'm sorry," Mara said, unsure what else she could say. "Have you made, um, arrangements?" She hated to ask the question, hated the fact that if she and Luke had already been married, those kinds of decisions would be up to her and not his sister. But, still, she did not want to give up the secret that she held close to her heart. It was the only thing she had left of Luke.

"The memorial will be tomorrow. There'll be a private gathering just for family and close friends before the public ceremony. You're invited to that, of course." Leia said the words mechanically, as though she'd recited them numerous times. "His b-body will lie in state in the atrium of the Senate Building for three days and then he'll be laid to rest on Yavin IV."

Mara felt a slight shudder of revulsion go through her at the thought of Luke being on display in that manner. He had never liked all the attention when he was alive, and now that he was gone the scrutiny was only more intense. How horrible that the only glimpse so many citizens of the galaxy would have of him would be of his still, lifeless form. Luke Skywalker had been one of the most vibrant and alive people Mara had ever known. The Force simply shone through and around him.

Or at least it had. Mara had never realized how empty she could feel. The spot in her mind where her sense of Luke had rested blazed like an open wound, the ache pulsing through her with every heartbeat. Part of her wished that they'd never formed that bond with one another. Perhaps then the pain of losing him wouldn't be so sharp. The rest of Mara cherished the few precious hours that she'd been closer to Luke than she'd ever been to anyone in her life.

"I wish…" Mara began, then trailed off as she realized that, even if she did let Luke's sister in on the secret she carried, she could not put what she was feeling into words.

Leia gave a soft, sad little smile and reached over to pat Mara's hand where it rested on the railing. "Me, too."

Other than her time spent with Luke, Mara had never been a very physically demonstrative person. She tended to keep the rest of the galaxy at arm's length, literally and emotionally. But now, seemingly of its own accord, her other hand came up to cover Leia's in a gesture of sympathy and understanding…and perhaps as a small way to combat her own feelings of helplessness.

As the two women looked at one another, a kinship formed between them, the beginning bonds of what promised to be a strong friendship. Even though it was forged in tragedy, Mara was suddenly very grateful that she could call Leia a friend. She decided to tell Leia of the relationship she'd had, however briefly, with Luke, but as she opened her mouth to speak, Han stuck his head through the doorway.

"Sweetheart, the kids are ready to go to bed and they're asking for you," he said quietly.

Mara and Leia both turned to look at him, their hands dropping to their sides and the redhead's lips clamping shut. Leia nodded to Han and smiled at Mara before she moved to follow her husband back into the apartment.

_There'll be time later. Her children need her now, _Mara reassured herself as she turned to gaze back out at the view from the Solo's balcony. At the thought of the Solo children, Mara's mind wandered to what a child belonging to her and Luke might have been like. Children had never been a desire of hers, in fact, Mara had doubted that she'd even possessed a maternal instinct. But she knew Luke would have wanted children. That much was obvious from the amount of love and attention he'd showered on his sister's kids. Now, she found herself aching for something that would never be.

Perhaps the child would have had reddish-blond hair and deep blue eyes; Luke's earnest enthusiasm and Mara's sharp wit; his persistence and her boldness. Her throat clogged with emotion because she knew there was absolutely no possibility of a child. Both Mara and Luke had been on hyposprays to prevent conception, although they hadn't thought to discuss it until after that first intense time between them.

"Mara," Talon's voice came from behind her and Mara cleared her throat uncomfortably before turning to face him.

"It's getting late. We should head back to the _Wild Karrde. _Han and Leia have arranged for you to ride with them to the funeral service tomorrow, so I'll take care of transportation for you here at 1000."

"With them? But I…I shouldn't-" she stammered.

"Mara, they know how close you and Luke were. Maybe the two of you were even closer than they thought?" Talon asked as he eyed her knowingly.

"We were friends," she said stubbornly, still not ready to give up her secret, even to the man who was second only to Luke in her life.

"I saw how you reacted when you felt his death and that was far more than friendship. If you don't want to talk about it now, that's all right. But I'm here when you do need to talk."

Mara didn't reply with words, but she appreciated Talon's concern for her. She simply nodded her head as she wrapped her arms around herself, knowing that the one person she really wanted to talk to was forever out of her reach.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: (kayladie sidling in quietly, hoping no one will notice) Oh, hey!! (blushing very deeply) Um, I have no excuses here, so I won't give any... Anyway! I'm back and I'm hoping to finish this story soon! I know I've only been saying that for the last two years, but this time I mean it...really, I do. I lost some of this story when a floppy disk I had it stored on got corrupted somehow, but I've managed to rewrite everything I lost plus some. I think I only have two, maybe three chapters until I'm finished writing it!**

**So, this is some severe Mara angsting. I'm almost embarrassed on her behalf, but she has just lost the love of her life, after all. Or has she? (big grin) Subtlety is NOT my strong point...**

Her face frozen into a mask of composure, Mara shed no tears at Luke's service. It was difficult during the private ceremony. These were Luke's family, friends, former wingmates, and Jedi companions. Leia had asked Mara if she wanted to say a few words, but the trader knew that would be impossible for her to do without revealing to everyone exactly what Luke had been to her. Mara didn't think she could stand up there, looking down at her slain lover, and talk coherently about what a wonderful man he had been. Hopefully, Leia understood when she declined.

Her heart twisted as she listened to Wedge speak, his voice cracking. Mara could feel the waves of guilt coming off him and she struggled to squash the little flare of anger she felt. She felt a spike in Leia's sense in the Force and glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. Leia's chin was trembling slightly and Mara had the feeling that Luke's sister was struggling with the same ambivalence towards Antilles that Mara herself was.

She didn't precisely blame Wedge. How could she? Luke would have gone to help a perfect stranger who'd brought him that note. But the fact that Antilles was indirectly responsible for the death of the man she'd just admitted her feelings for - after so many years of fighting them - left a smoldering resentment in her chest.

Mara dropped her gaze to the clasped hands lying in her lap. The resentment caused her to feel guilty, because she knew that Luke would not approve. Wedge was one of his dearest friends and Luke would be sorely disappointed in her emotions, both as his fiancée and as a Jedi. Taking a deep breath, she raised her head back up and listened to Luke's closest friends eulogizing him.

The true test of Mara's patience came during the public service. The death of the Jedi Master had drawn the politicians out from under their rocks so they could raise themselves up by pretending a connection with such a famous citizen. The reality was that most of them had never even met Luke Skywalker and of those who had, most had only done so in passing. The ones that _had_ known Luke well, had detested him and everything the Jedi stood for because it was in direct opposition to their own interests the majority of the time.

Yet his real family and friends were forced to listen to these frauds as they rambled on and on about how much Luke Skywalker had meant to their lives. Mara barely kept herself from gagging. And if one more of them made the statement that now Luke was truly 'walking in the skies', she might have to hurt someone.

After what seemed an interminable amount of time, the service was at last over. Han and Leia and the children stood just beyond the casket as the hundreds of 'important people' filed by Luke's body and then paused to speak and pay their respects to his family. The general public were crammed into balcony seats and were not allowed on the floor.

Mara sat, still numb, in her seat as the procession filed slowly past. She overheard a few snide whispers about her prominent position sitting with the Solo family, but she ignored them, her stare locked on Luke Skywalker's lifeless form. When she had first seen him lying there so still, his hands folded neatly across his chest, Mara's mind had rebelled. This could not be her Luke! It could _not_! Memories assaulted her instantly: Luke's smile; his laugh; the look on his face as he'd made passionate love to her; the timber of his voice when he'd said 'Whisper your weakness to me, and I will lend you my strength'.

"This is my weakness, Luke. I don't know how I'm going to go on without you," Mara mumbled to herself, her head dropping again so the curious onlookers wouldn't see her pain.

Eventually, the long line of mourners trickled out and there was no one left in the auditorium except for the Solos, the Horns, the Antilles, Calrissian, Karrde and a few of the Rogues…and Luke and Mara, who still hadn't moved from her seat on the first row. The group had gathered at the ornate doors at the rear of the chamber that had been closed behind the last stranger, a few of them sending worried glances Mara's way, but none of them wanted to disturb her.

Mara was vaguely aware of the soft murmurs of their conversation behind her and she heard Leia say that she was going to take the children back to their apartment. Han replied that he wanted to stay for a little while longer. Gradually, the others drifted away until only Han and Talon remained. She could feel the intensity of their stares at her back, but still they left her to grieve in her own way.

It might have been minutes, hours, or days that she sat there, Mara had no way of knowing. As if in a fog, she got to her feet and slowly walked up to the gleaming silver casket that held the body of Luke Skywalker. Staring down at him, Mara was nearly overwhelmed at the emotions and memories that surged upwards in her.

Only five years ago, this had been what she'd wanted more than anything in the galaxy. She had dreamed of his death, planned it down to the smallest detail, shivering with anticipation at the hope of avenging her Master's murder. When she'd finally laid eyes on Skywalker in the flesh again that long ago day, Mara had barely been able to stop herself from howling with joy at the chance to finish what she'd begun at Jabba's palace. And yet…_something_ had kept her from fulfilling Palpatine's last command.

It wasn't until some time later that she'd realized that _something _was Luke himself. His purity, his utter goodness, had battered at her defenses until Mara had finally given in and admitted that she couldn't kill him, didn't even want to kill him. Her Master had been the deceiver, not Luke. Never Luke.

It still baffled Mara how she had gone from wanting to kill him to wanting to kiss him. That had occurred to her as she'd watched him sleeping one night during their trek through the forests of Myrkr. The realization had both fascinated and horrified her. The greatest enemy she had ever known and yet Mara had found herself mesmerized by the lush fullness of his lips. A tiny smile quirked the corner of her mouth as she remembered that moment, although it had definitely not been amusing at the time.

Naturally, Mara had made certain that Skywalker was never aware of her growing feelings. Now, having lost him so soon, she cursed herself for the wasted time. Several years had slipped by, years they could have spent together, loving one another, instead of the few brief weeks they'd had.

Mara's eyes wandered slowly over every centimeter of Luke's face, thinking it unnaturally calm and serene. The last time she'd seen him, he had been smiling. Luke Skywalker had been a handsome man in any regard, but when he'd smiled, truly smiled - not the Jedi Master tiny curve of the lips that strangers saw, but the rare beaming expression of joy that only close friends and family were graced with - he'd been luminous.

Slowly, she reached out and touched his left hand, the real one, stroking the back of it softly with her fingers. Sliding her fingers underneath his slack ones, Mara lifted Luke's hand to hold it between both of hers. She lowered her head and gently kissed the hand she held, a shiver passing through her at the coldness of it.

Mara's eyes drifted closed as she held his hand up against her lips, the shiver of a few moments ago becoming a trembling that would not seem to stop. A knot of tension began to build somewhere deep in her gut, stabbing at her with the precision of a vibroblade. The wall that she had so determinedly constructed to suppress all her pain began to crumble and crack, the emotions surging upwards faster than she could contain them.

Her breath came in sharp gasps as she felt the pain expanding in her chest until she thought for sure her heart would burst. Vaguely, she sensed Han and Talon walking towards her, concern pouring out of their Force signatures, but Mara couldn't hold it back any longer.

The despair, the anguish, the utter agony that had been churning in her system from the moment Luke had been ripped away from her finally erupted like a volcano on Mustafar. Mara sensed Han and Talon rushing forward as she fell to her knees, still clutching Luke's hand to her cheek as an inhuman howl of misery was torn from her throat. Every tear that had been held back over the last three days poured from Mara's eyes, blurring her vision until she could see nothing but the blond tint of Luke's hair.

Talon was on one side of her and Han was on the other, each of them supporting her elbows to keep her from sliding all the way to the floor. Han tried to gently prise Luke's hand out of her grip, but she held on with the tenacity of a mankooth. Mara couldn't speak at first, her sobs so harsh that they wracked her entire body. She had never cried like this in her life and now that it had begun, it seemed it would never cease.

Finally, though, the intensity of the storm abated and her sobs quieted to small sniffles. Mara didn't look at either man kneeling beside her, ashamed to have lost complete control the way she had.

"Mara? Are you all right?" Han asked.

"No. No, I'm not all right. Nothing is ever going to be right again because he's gone," Mara replied bitterly.

"Uh…" Han said, a little taken aback by her vehemence.

"It was me, Solo. The woman he's been with all these months, the one he wouldn't tell you about, because…because I wouldn't let him," she had to pause as the tears threatened to start again, "because I was too stupid to see what a beautiful thing we had together. I should have told everyone I saw that Luke Skywalker loved me…ME, Mara Jade, but I was scared. And I wasn't good enough for him, but he didn't care, he didn't care. He loved me anyway, and I could never understand why and now he's gone and I can't bear it, I can't!"

The slight shrillness of her voice bordered on the edge of hysteria, but she somehow managed to hold herself together, the Emperor's Hand – a part of her which would never completely go away - refusing to allow another total breakdown in public.

Han's hand awkwardly stroked her hair as he muttered, "Aw hell, Jade. I'm sorry."

"How ever much time off you need, Mara, you take it. You do whatever you need to do to get through this," Talon said quietly.

"What I need is Luke, alive and safe and in my arms, Talon," Mara said.

There was nothing that Han or Talon could say to that, as it was what both of them wished for as well, so neither of them replied to her resentful words. She turned to Han with a shaky smile.

"Five minutes alone in a room with whoever did this might make me feel better, too."

"Hey, you'd have to get in line for that privilege, Jade. I think there's quite a few of us who feel the same way," Han said with a slight grin.

The three of them shared a nervous chuckle, and then sat in silence for a long moment, each lost in their memories of the Jedi Master. With a sigh, Mara began to get to her feet. Han carefully took Luke's hand from hers and this time she allowed him to. He tenderly placed it back atop Luke's chest. Clearing his throat, Han shot a glance at Mara.

"So. You and the kid, huh?"

"Yes, Solo. Is that so hard to believe?" Mara said with an exasperated look.

"Actually, no. I've always thought there was something between the two of you."

"So did I," Talon said and pretended not to see Mara's glare at him.

"What I always wondered was why it took the both of you so long to realize it," Han said and instantly regretted the words as she gave him a stricken look. "Hey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, you're right," Mara said, her words strained, as she held up a hand to halt his stumbling apology. "We wasted a lot of time and that's something that I will forever regret."

"I know it doesn't make it any easier, Jade, but I'm really glad that you did have each other for a little while. I talked to Luke the day before…before…well, the other day and I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. He was almost floating," Han said.

"He asked me to marry him," Mara said softly, causing Talon to give her a startled look.

"And you said…?" Talon asked.

"I said yes, Talon," Mara said with a small grin.

She jumped in surprise when Han took her by the shoulders and gazed at her intently. Sensing that he was about to say something very serious and very important to him, Mara didn't protest the somewhat rough treatment.

"You understand that even if it never got to be official, you're a part of the family, Mara. You'll always be a part of the family, if that's what you want."

"Would Leia agree with that statement, considering that it's me?" Mara asked, still a little skeptical about Luke's sister's acceptance of a former Imperial as her brother's intended wife.

"Leia would agree with anything that made Luke happy, and from what I saw the other day, you made him happy. Hey, why don't you come up to the apartment and talk to her?"

"I don't know about that-" Mara tried to demur.

"Come _on_, I know she'll wanna see you, 'specially after she finds out that you and Luke were engaged."

"Well, all right, but I can't stay long," she said decisively, unsure if she was ready to be pulled into the Solo family without Luke there.

"Talon, you're welcome, too, of course." Talon nodded as Mara turned her head to gaze at Luke's casket once more.

"Han, just give me a couple more minutes, okay?" she said quietly as she looked back to Luke's brother-in-law.

He gave her a look filled with concern. "Are you gonna be all right?"

"I'm not going to lose it again, if that's what you're worried about," Mara replied wryly, certainly not ready to say that she would be all right. She had a feeling that might never happen.

He gently squeezed her shoulders one more time before releasing her and turning to walk back up the aisle towards the doors. Talon followed him, sparing Mara one last glance as if to reassure himself that she wouldn't 'lose it' again before he moved away as well.

Sighing, Mara walked up to the edge of the casket once again. Determined not to embarrass herself with another explosion of tears, she kept a tight rein on her emotions.

"Ah, Skywalker, I've always been able to count on you being there for me, even when I still wanted to kill you myself. What am I going to do now without you here?" she murmured.

Her eyes roamed over his perfect face, wanting to memorize every feature so that she would be able to bring it to mind in the many lonely nights ahead of her. A frown crossed Mara's face as something began niggling at the back of her consciousness, something that was wrong, out of place somehow. The sensation danced around the edge of her awareness, staying maddeningly just out of reach for the longest moment. When it finally struck her, it was staggering.

His perfect face…his _perfect _face! With a shocked cry, Mara lunged forward, her hands grasping the sides of Luke's face. Almost afraid to believe what she was seeing, she tilted his head from one side to the other.

"Han! Talon! Come here NOW!"

"Mara, what the hell are you doing?!" Han demanded as he ran to her side. He gaped at her in astonishment as she twisted Luke's face towards him.

"It's not him! This is NOT Luke!"

"Have you completely lost your mind? Do you think I don't know one of my best friends?" Han shouted.

"Mara, you've had a huge shock-" Talon began.

"This is not shock, Talon," Mara snapped. She looked at Han, concentrating on speaking clearly and firmly so that they could not mistake what she was saying. "Look at his face, Han. Where are the scars from the Wampa attack on Hoth? Where's the scar from Cloud City?" She paused to yank open the front of the body's tunic, ignoring Han's gasp of outrage, and pointed to the skin exposed on the right shoulder. "Where's the scar from the crash in his T-16 back on Tatooine? I know Luke Skywalker's body, Solo. I know it intimately. This. Is. Not. Luke Skywalker!"

A look of stunned disbelief crept over Han's face, and in his eyes Mara could see a wary hope. She moved back as he took a step forward and stared down at Luke. Hesitantly, his fingers reached out to touch the cold, lifeless cheek. Han knew better than most anyone about the scars Luke had gained from his run-in with the Wampa. They weren't there. The skin under his fingers was smooth and clear.

His expression becoming one of frenzy, Han grabbed Luke's left arm and pulled the sleeve of his tunic up, revealing the underside of his forearm. "Luke had a burn mark on this arm just two weeks ago from helping me work on the _Falcon_," he said in a hoarse voice.

Mara glanced down at Luke's arm…it was as smooth and blemish free as the skin on his face. Han dropped the arm as though it were suddenly burning his fingers and let out a string of harsh Corellian curses. None of them seemed to know what to do, staring alternately at the body that was not Luke and each other in confusion.

A tiny, anxious giggle escaped Mara and before she knew it, she was laughing out loud as Han and Talon looked at her as though she'd lost her mind.

"Don't you understand? Don't you see? If this is not him, then that means he's alive. Luke is alive!"

"How do you figure that?" Han asked, still too afraid to hope for anything.

"Whoever did this went to a lot of trouble. Someone had to have hated Luke very much in order to put all this together. That much hatred wouldn't be satisfied with just killing him…" Mara's laughter died and a somber expression crossed her face as the implications of her words sank in. "We need to find him and fast."

"I think we need to keep this very quiet. Right now, whoever did this is thinking that they've gotten away with it. If we alert NRS that we know this isn't Luke, we'll have tipped our hand," Talon said.

"Right, right," Han said, his expression still dazed. "We need to talk to Corran and some of the Jedi, maybe some of the Rogues-"

"What about Leia? Do you think she'll be able to handle this?" Mara asked.

"Are you kidding me? Leia has a bond with Luke. If I don't tell her what we've discovered, you guys might be attending _my _funeral next week," Han said.

"That's a place to start. I have a bond with Luke, too, yet I can't sense him over it. He's just…not there. They must have ysalamiri. Talon, can you-"

"I'll get on it immediately. Even those who go through the black market are usually dealing with one of my people in one way or another," Talon said, even as he was pulling out his commlink. He stepped back a pace as he turned the commlink on, barking orders into it almost instantly.

"What do you think this is? Clone?" Han asked as he and Mara leaned over to look at 'Luke' again. Now that they knew it was not really him, they were relieved, but still uneasy about seeing a dead body that looked exactly like the man they both knew and loved.

"No doubt," Mara nodded as she reached over to check the clone's right hand. "Look at this. They even went to the trouble to give it an artificial hand, just like Luke's," she said in astonishment. She cast worried eyes up at Han. "We need to find him fast, Solo. I have a very bad feeling about this."

"I really wish you hadn't said that."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Here is where the bad stuff (meaning the torture for those who may be a bit squeamish) really begins. Nothing too explicit, I don't think, but Luke is definitely not feeling too good at the moment. Poor Lukie!!**

* * *

It was dark when he opened his eyes; so dark that at first, he wasn't sure if he had really opened his eyes or if he had only dreamed it. The slow, pounding ache that began thrumming through his skull let him know that he was truly awake. Luke groaned and tried to rise to a sitting position, only to find himself stopped short by restraints that held his arms over his head.

Startled, Luke instinctively tried to twist his head around to see what was holding his wrists, and discovered that he couldn't move his legs either. For a heartbeat, Luke panicked, unable to remember how he'd gotten to wherever he was and abruptly aware that he could not touch the Force. Pushing the fear away, Luke closed his eyes again and ran through a calming technique, something that helped even without the Force.

Opening his eyes once more, he waited for them to adjust to the darkness and realized that he could see a little. He was in a small, windowless room, lying on a cot of some kind, his wrists and ankles bound by some kind of manacles attached to the bed. There didn't seem to be any other furniture in the room as far as he could tell. The small bit of illumination came from a sliver of light under the door that cast enough of a glow for Luke to barely make out his surroundings.

Looking up towards the ceiling, Luke saw a blinking red light up in one corner. With a gasp, his eyes darted around the room, noting one of those lights in all four corners and in one huge rush, he remembered what had happened.

"Berdin," he muttered in disgust.

A brilliant flood of light suddenly poured into the room, causing Luke to let out a yelp of protest and slam his eyelids back shut. He twisted his head away from the light as much as he could, trying to protect his too-sensitive eyes. His whole body stiffened as a low chuckle sounded from the opposite corner of the room.

"And here I was thinking you wouldn't be grateful for my hospitality."

Luke turned his head in the direction of the voice, still having to squint his eyes a little as they slowly adjusted to the amount of light in the room. Viktor Berdin was sitting in a chair in the corner, staring at his captive with evil intent written all over his features.

"Surprisingly enough, no, I'm not exactly thrilled to be here," Luke said in an even tone, determined not to let this madman get to him. Whatever he had planned, Luke would deal with it. He'd been through worse.

Viktor stood up and slowly walked over to the edge of Luke's bed, gazing down at his prisoner with a gloating expression of superiority. Luke maintained his blank look.

"Tell me, _Master Jedi_," the doctor sneered, "how does it feel to be normal like the rest of us? Do you miss your precious Force? Is it almost like coming off spice, being without it?"

"I lived the first eighteen years of my life without the Force, Berdin. I appreciate everything it's done for me, but I don't need it."

"We'll just see if you continue to have that attitude after the game has begun, Skywalker," Viktor said with a nasty smile.

"What game?" Luke asked before he could stop himself.

"Ah, are you curious? We're going to play a game, you and I. I'm going to break you, body, mind and spirit, Jedi. By the time I am finished with you, you'll be begging me to kill you," Viktor said, his voice growing harsher with anger at every word he spoke.

"That doesn't sound like a very fun game to me. In fact, I don't see where the game part comes in at all," Luke said sardonically.

"The game part comes in as we see exactly how long you can hold out, Jedi. Without your Force to insulate you, I'd bet that it's probably less than a week."

"It will probably take less than a week for my family and friends to find me. Do you really think they're not going to be looking?" Luke asked. Instinctively, he tried to reach out to Mara over their bond, not allowing his frustration to show to the doctor when he met a blank wall.

Viktor's laughter sent a chill up Luke's spine.

"I _know _they're not going to be looking for you, Jedi. They've been far too busy…" he paused, the evil leer on his face growing more intense, as did the sick feeling in the pit of Luke's stomach. "…planning your funeral."

"My…my what?" Luke stammered, unable to hide his shock this time.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess you've been otherwise occupied and haven't heard," Viktor said, his voice dripping with mock sympathy. With a flourish, Viktor pulled a datapad out of his jacket. Ignoring Luke for the moment, he tapped in a few commands. He turned it around so that Luke could see a vid playing, taking obvious care to turn the volume up so that his captive wouldn't miss a thing.

Luke watched and listened in growing horror. The vid showed a mass of people standing in front of the Grand Auditorium of the New Republic Senate building. An announcer was speaking in solemn tones.

"The crowds outside the Auditorium have waited in vain for the opportunity to see part of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker's memorial service. The crush is simply too great for most of these beings to have a hope of getting inside and they will have to wait for the time when the Jedi's body will be lying in state to get their one last look at the galaxy's hero. Our holocams were not allowed in for the private family service, but we were able to get inside for the public eulogies."

The voice continued speaking, but Luke heard nothing more of what it said. His attention was riveted on the images of his sister, his brother-in-law, his niece and nephews; the grief and heartache so visible on their faces was gut-wrenching. Luke was no longer concerned about Viktor seeing his reactions to his predicament as a helpless sound of anguish came from his lips when the holocams passed over Mara Jade's frozen form.

No indication of her pain was evident on her face, but Luke knew her so well. He could read the hurt in every line of her figure. His heart and his very soul cried out at being able to see her and yet not being able to reach her over their bond. Luke flinched in revulsion as the holocam panned over a silver casket…a casket with a body that looked exactly like himself.

The announcer had begun to drone on about the Jedi Master's humble beginnings, saying something about a simple life as a farmer on an outer rim world and Luke could bear to see or hear no more.

"Turn it off," he growled in a low voice. Viktor ignored him, instead waving the datapad closer to Luke's face.

Luke jerked against his restraints and shouted angrily, "Turn it off! Turn it off, damn you!"

Viktor laughed in cruel delight at his prisoner's torment as he pulled the datapad away and switched it off at last. The gleam of triumph in his eyes sickened Luke and he couldn't repress a shudder as Viktor leaned over him to whisper gleefully.

"And so the game begins."

Viktor didn't return to the small room that was Luke's cell for three days. A droid came in twice a day and released him from the manacles so that he could eat - nothing but ration bars, which he hated - and relieve himself in the toilet that was in one corner of the room. Luke's aching bladder quickly overcame any sense of shyness he felt, although he still despised having to take care of such a personal matter out in the open. He wondered if Viktor had forgotten about him, then dismissed that thought almost immediately.

No, Berdin's anger ran deep and Luke couldn't help the frisson of fear that ran through him as he tried to anticipate what Viktor was planning. More likely, this was part of 'the game' that his captor was playing with him. He tried to keep his mind occupied by reviewing lightsaber battle techniques in his head; he mentally broke down and then re-assembled the hyperdrive in his X-wing; he even went back so far as to remember the wiring diagrams of the moisture vaporators he'd rebuilt on his uncle's farm. He lost track of how many times he recited the Jedi Code, both forwards and backwards.

The one thing he tried not to do too often was think of Mara and Leia and Han. That simply hurt too much, especially thoughts of his fiancée. He'd spent the first several hours thinking of her, recalling every curve of her face, the exact tint of her hair, that wickedly intelligent gleam in her eyes. But he'd had to stop as the pain had swelled up in his heart so intensely that it threatened to choke him. Imagining the agony that his sister and brother-in-law must be enduring had proven to be too heartbreaking, as well.

He worried over Syal Antilles, wondering if she had managed to escape safely. So far the only person he had seen was Berdin himself, but that didn't mean there weren't others working with him. Luke hoped that Viktor had been lying when he'd mentioned others, but he had no way of knowing for certain. He was also concerned about Wedge. His friend had been waiting alone outside that abandoned factory. If there were others working with Berdin, had they gotten to Syal's father as well?

When he wasn't brooding over the well-being of his friends and family, Luke's thoughts inevitably turned to why Viktor was doing this and trying not to imagine what terrible things he might have in store for him. He didn't want to dwell on those imaginings, but it was difficult to keep it out of his mind considering the predicament he was in. Luke kept picturing that coffin from the datapad vid in his mind, seeing that lifeless form that had his own face.

The dead man in the coffin had to be a clone, but Luke couldn't figure out how Berdin had gotten his hands on a clone. The blood sample the doctor had taken from him at Dr. Mondahl's office couldn't have given him enough time to grow a new clone, could it? Perhaps Joruus C'Boath had created more than one and Berdin had obtained it somehow after all this time? He gave a small sigh, momentarily giving up on trying to puzzle it out.

Luke Skywalker had grown used to his life being somewhat intense and often strange, but nothing had ever creeped him out more than seeing footage of his own funeral. Particularly once he'd realized that Berdin had even dressed the clone in Luke's own clothing. When he'd first noticed that he was wearing just a plain undershirt and loose sleep pants, Luke had wondered what had become of his Jedi blacks. Then he'd remembered the figure that his family and friends were mistakenly mourning, and he had involuntarily shuddered.

The Jedi Master didn't want to give in to the mind games that Viktor was playing, but he would have been lying to himself if he didn't admit the prospect that there was likely no search ongoing frightened him fiercely. Luke was just pondering how long Viktor was going to make him lie here and wait when the door opened and Berdin stepped through it, wearing that sneer that made Luke want to strike him…hard.

"Enjoying your stay, Skywalker?"

Luke refused to answer, carefully schooling his expression into a calm façade, determined not to play Berdin's game with him. The droid that brought Luke's meals trundled in behind Viktor. Luke eyed it warily as it unlatched the manacles, flicking his gaze over at Viktor when his hands and feet were free. The blaster stared him in the face again. Luke sat up very slowly, wondering what exactly Viktor had in store for him.

"Stand up," Viktor ordered as he gestured with the blaster.

Luke carefully got to his feet, swaying just a little at the lightheaded feeling he got after having been horizontal for so long. He tried not to let Viktor see this bit of weakness, but he had a sinking feeling that what was about to happen would be a lot worse.

"Put these on," Viktor said and tossed him a pair of cuffs with a chain about a half-meter long linking them. Silently, Luke did as he commanded, raising his head to give Viktor a quiet look of defiance once he had done so.

Viktor again gestured with the blaster, indicating that Luke move over to one wall of the tiny cell. Cautiously, Luke moved forward, but before he had taken three steps, Viktor shoved the blaster forcefully between his shoulder blades and wrapped his free hand around the Jedi's throat. Luke gasped in shock and his startled gaze flew to Viktor's face, now only centimeters from his own.

"Now the real fun begins," Berdin whispered. And then he licked Luke's ear.

Luke was disgusted and alarmed at once and it was all he could do not to gag in Viktor's face. He jerked his head away as far as he could – not daring to move any more than that as he was very much aware of the blaster still jammed into his back - and was rewarded with a slight squeeze from Viktor's hand on his throat, just enough to make him choke a little.

"Rule number one. The more you resist me, the more I'm going to hurt you. Now that would be just fine by me if that's the way you want to play it."

"You said-" Luke began in a strangled voice. He was unable to continue until Viktor eased the grip on his throat slightly. "You said this was a game. It's not very fair if I don't get to fight back."

"That's the good thing about being the inventor of the game. I get to make the rules," Viktor taunted. "You have to take whatever I decide to dish out, Jedi. The point of the game is to see how long you can hold out without losing your mind." He paused and Luke had to hold back another swell of disgust at the sheer hatred in Berdin's eyes. "Now, do you understand rule number one?"

Luke barely nodded his head. Abruptly, he was blindsided as Viktor's forearm smashed into his face. A grunt of pain escaped Luke as his head jerked backwards, and he could feel the blaster muzzle digging into the skin of his back.

"When I ask a question, you answer. Understand?"

Luke glared at him hotly, but didn't see the value in defying him and getting hit again. "Yes," he said through clenched teeth.

"Good, I'm glad that you do, because there are no other rules," Viktor said and the vicious gleam in his eyes made a chill run down Luke's spine.

Releasing his grip on Luke's throat, Viktor shoved him forward towards the wall. Luke stumbled a couple of steps and stood there hesitantly, wondering what his tormentor had planned.

"Raise your arms."

Luke obeyed silently, cursing inwardly as his mind rapidly went through useless plans for escape or attacking Berdin. Knowing that the blaster was still trained steadily on him, and that he was without the Force, Luke understood there was little he could do. He could only hope to hold out under whatever torture Viktor doled out and pray that somehow Mara and Leia and Han would realize the man they had just memorialized was an imposter.

Viktor grasped the chain between Luke's cuffs with his free hand and pulled upwards, causing Luke to go up on his tiptoes slightly. Luke looked up and watched as Berdin slid one link of the chain over a hook that was hanging from the ceiling. As he stepped away, Luke was left stretched just short of the point of discomfort but was able to balance on the balls of his feet.

When he felt Berdin yank the back of his shirt upwards and shove it over the top of his head, Luke tensed, knowing what was coming now. So, it would be a beating, probably with a power-lash of some kind. Luke mentally braced himself, trying to prepare for that first blow. He closed his eyes and whispered inside his head, _A Jedi does not know pain, a Jedi does not know pain, _over and over again.

There was a sudden crackling of electricity from behind him and Luke tried to fight down the panic rising in his gut, the noise bringing back unpleasant memories of his confrontation with Palpatine aboard the second Death Star. _Force, don't think about _that _right now, Luke! Keep your focus!_

He had thought himself prepared at least a little for that first blow, but when it came, it still sent waves of shocked agony through his body. The strike of the whip itself was horrible enough, but then the tip of the weapon gave him a powerful electric charge as it contacted his skin. Managing somehow not to cry out - he would NOT give Viktor that satisfaction - Luke squeezed his eyes closed against the pain, his whole frame shaking with the effort.

At first, the blows came slowly, spaced out enough to give Luke a chance to catch his breath in between strikes. Muffled little grunts and groans escaped him, but Luke still refused to scream, although it was becoming increasingly difficult. Fire raced over his back and down his legs, burning with an intensity unlike anything he'd ever known. Sweat seeped into the welts left by the power-lash, only adding to his torment. The cuffs holding him up began to cut into the skin of his wrists as he was less able to support his own weight the longer the ordeal went on.

_It's just pain, it means nothing, push it away, Luke, push it away! _But then the blows began to come ever more rapidly, giving him no opportunity to regain his equilibrium, and Luke slowly realized that Viktor wanted the scream that his victim was denying him…and the bastard was not going to stop until he got it.

The rebel spirit that had never truly disappeared within Luke Skywalker wanted nothing more than to refuse to give in to Viktor's cruelty, but the choice was quickly slipping out of his control. The intensity of the agony building within him was overwhelming, burning in his belly and desperate to find an outlet. Finally, Luke could contain it not one second longer and the anguished scream that erupted from his throat felt as though it had been ripped from him by force.

Immediately, the assault on his weary body ceased and Luke hung limply from the cuffs, his breathing ragged and harsh as he tried unsuccessfully to will the pain away. Behind him, Viktor laughed with callous delight, but Luke was beyond caring at the moment.

He didn't even have the strength to lift his head as Viktor supported his weight with one arm wrapped around Luke's back, although he flinched at the touch against the fresh wounds there. He would have fallen straight to the floor if Viktor hadn't caught him as the cuffs were undone.

Roughly, Viktor dragged Luke over to the cot and dumped him onto it, right onto his back. Luke couldn't help the cry that slipped past his lips at the jolt of pain that rolled through him.

Not even bothering to reattach the manacles, Viktor started to leave the room. Before he did, he turned and said nastily, "You play the game well, Skywalker. But I'm going to win. I always do."

Luke opened his eyes and found the strength to at least glare at his captor. "Not this time," he swore softly.

Viktor laughed again, a sound that Luke knew he would be hearing in his nightmares, and stepped out of the room, leaving the Jedi alone once more.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Well, I didn't make the July 1st deadline to finish writing this, but the good news is that I _have_ made a lot of progress on it, so it really shouldn't be too much longer before I can say "WYW is finished!" (I am SO looking forward to that day, y'all just don't know...)**

**Anyway, in this part, Luke's friends and family rally, while poor Lukie's hell continues to get worse. More torture in this one, but nothing too graphic, I don't think.**

* * *

The Solo's dining room had become command central in the search for Luke Skywalker. Han, Corran, Wedge, Mara and Leia sat around the table, which was covered with maps, datacards and various pieces of flimsiplast. Lando was currently out questioning the dregs of Coruscant society in the lower levels, while Kam was working with several of the Jedi to see if they could sense any blank spaces in the Force that might indicate ysalamiri. Talon was still trying to find out if anyone had purchased the lizards in recent months.

It had only been twenty-four standard hours since they had realized the body they'd been about to bury was not the real Luke Skywalker. Leia was proud of how quickly Luke's friends and family had come together to rescue him. It would be no easy task, for the galaxy was an immense place and Luke could have been taken anywhere in it. But they knew that it had started here on Coruscant and so that's where they knew they had to start as well.

Leia found herself staring at Mara as the fiery redhead argued with Corran over some detail or other. Mara Jade was Luke's lover, the woman he had asked to be his wife. Leia marveled that she hadn't figured it out a long time ago. There had always been a spark of electricity between the two, even when Mara was vowing to kill him. And, truly, she hadn't been as shocked as she should have been when Han and Mara had told her the news.

Leia had stared at her blankly for a long moment, and then reached out to take the other woman into a firm embrace, any anger she might have felt at Luke's deception crushed under the grief of losing him. Mara had stiffened in response, but then had seemed to wilt slightly and for just a moment, she had clung tightly to Luke's sister.

In all the excitement of them explaining to her that the body in the Senate Atrium was not her twin, Leia had forgotten about the ring that was now lying on a dresser in her bedroom. She stood suddenly, causing Han to look up at her in concern. Leia smiled at him to let him know that she was all right and turned to Mara.

"Mara, may I see you in the bedroom for just a moment?"

A wary look entered Mara's eyes, but Leia had the feeling that it was more a reflex than a true reservation. Nodding slowly, she stood and the two women walked into Leia and Han's bedroom.

"What is it?"

"I know things have been confused and I haven't had a chance to say thank you," Leia said quietly.

"Thank you for what?"

"For making my brother happy," Leia said, her voice beginning to choke up. She raised her hand to cover her mouth, trying to hold back her tears.

Mara smiled at her, but her jaw was trembling suspiciously. "I'm the one who should be thankful, Leia. Luke…he saved me. Not just my life, but _me._ He's the first person who ever cared enough to see the real me. He didn't see the Emperor's Hand, or an enemy, or even a smuggler. He saw Mara Jade…and he loves me. And I'm not going to rest until he's back here where he belongs. With me and with you and everyone who loves him."

Mara flushed slightly, not having meant to give a speech, but Leia just smiled at her in understanding. She reached out to pick up the small jeweler's box from the dresser, looking down at it as she turned it over in her hands. Leia was suddenly hesitant to give Mara the ring in this way. It should have come from Luke's hand to his bride-to-be's in a special moment just for the two of them.

On the other hand, the ring was a symbol of hope and that was something they all - especially Leia and Mara - needed right now. Taking a deep breath, she held the box out towards her almost-sister-in-law.

"I was with Luke when he bought this. I'm pretty sure he meant it for you, unless my brother was hiding another fiancée in the wings somewhere," Leia said with a wry grin. Funny how she was able to smile again, knowing that Luke was alive. She had to focus on that piece of hope, and not allow herself to agonize over what dire trouble her twin was probably in. They would find him, they _would._

Mara took the box from Leia and simply stared at it. Leia could feel Mara's turbulent emotions through the Force, almost like a shadow of the bond that she felt with her twin brother. The bond between Luke and Mara had to be powerful, indeed, and Leia knew that Mara was hurting as much as she was at not being able to sense Luke.

Finally, Mara opened the box and let out a tiny gasp as she looked at the ring for the first time. She pulled it from it's nestling place and set the box aside.

"It's…" she trailed off, not seeming to be able to find the word she wanted to use. She glanced back up at Leia. "He picked this out?"

Leia nodded, a soft sheen of tears in her eyes at the memory of Luke buying the ring. "It was the only one he looked at."

"Oh, Farmboy," Mara whispered as her eyes were drawn back to the ring. She laughed nervously as she felt tears gathering in her own eyes. "Force, I've become like a leaky faucet. Do you see what a bad influence your brother is on me?"

That seemed to break the quiet intensity of the moment and the two of them had a good laugh.

Mara sighed as their laughter dwindled and considered the ring. "I want to wear it, but-"

"But what?"

"But I want Luke to put it on my finger when we get him back. So, do you have a chain of some kind that I can borrow?"

"That's a perfect idea. Hold on," Leia said as she moved over to her dresser and rummaged through her jewelry box. "Ah, here we go."

She held up a simple gold link chain and handed it to Luke's intended wife. Mara threaded the chain through the ring and then started to put it on.

"Here, let me help you," Leia offered and took the necklace from Mara's fingers. Nodding, Mara turned and lifted her hair so that Leia could clasp the chain around her neck.

The redhead turned back around to face Leia, picking up the ring and holding it between her fingers carefully as she did so. Both she and Luke's sister stared at it, and then Mara felt a wave of sadness wash over her through the Force. She looked back up to see Leia fighting back tears as she'd done so many times over the last few days.

"I miss him…SO much," Leia said, her voice choking up.

Mara surprised both herself and Leia as she moved forward to take the smaller woman into a tight embrace. Leia was startled for a moment and then held on to the one who'd finally managed to claim Luke's heart and given hers in return.

"We'll get him back, Leia. We will. I swear it," Mara whispered and she sounded so confident, Leia couldn't help but believe her.

* * *

Viktor didn't return to Luke's cell for another several days, and the Jedi wasn't sure which was worse…the actual torture, or being left alone with his doubts and fears. He'd wracked his brain trying to figure some way out of this hell, but hadn't come up with anything as of yet. The disruptor disks were well out of his reach, even if he stood on the bed, which he had tried since Viktor had neglected to chain him to the bed. Not that he'd felt much like doing anything for a day or so after that whipping. 

He'd lain on the tiny cot in utter agony for the longest time. Eventually, the pain had eased enough that he could move around the cell once again. The droid still brought his meals twice a day, but now they were just slipped through a slot that opened at the bottom of the door. Luke sighed helplessly. Viktor certainly was no fool and he obviously intended to toy with his victim for a while.

_Stop thinking like a victim, Luke! _he told himself fiercely. _There's a way out, you just have to find it._ His usual optimism was becoming ever harder to hold on to, though.

He was sitting on the bed pondering whether there was any way he'd be able to convince the droid to open the door the next time it came, when the door opened. Startled, and then silently cursing himself for his lack of attention, Luke looked up at Berdin, who was holding his customary blaster aimed at Luke's face.

Viktor tossed the cuffs at him, not speaking a word, but Luke understood that an order had been given. Silently, trying not to let his apprehension show on his face, Luke clipped them on. Berdin gestured with the blaster towards the hook where the whipping had taken place, and Luke swallowed with a dry mouth as he stood and moved over where Viktor wanted him.

The blaster never wavered as Luke's arms were raised and the chain on the cuffs looped over the hook again, leaving him vulnerable to whatever Berdin had planned for him this time. The silence was beginning to grate on Luke's nerves as Viktor walked around him slowly, finally putting the blaster into a holster on his hip, but still not saying anything.

Luke felt exposed, like an animal in Berdin's private zoo, or worse, an experiment in a lab that the bastard was contemplating. Finally, he could stand the quiet no longer.

"Did you have something you wanted to discuss, or are we just going to continue this little dance for a while?" he asked sarcastically when Berdin came back around to the front of him.

Instantly, Viktor stopped moving and let an evil, satisfied smile cross his face and Luke cursed himself. Another of his little 'games' and Luke had let him win this one by breaking the silence first.

"Ah, Skywalker. You have no idea how much some people in this galaxy truly hate you, do you?"

"I'm well aware that I'm not on everyone's favorites list."

"Oh, I'm not talking about those petty, pathetic fools who are merely jealous of the power and prestige you once possessed," Viktor said, waving a hand derisively, and Luke felt a shudder go through him at Berdin's use of the past tense.

"No, I'm talking about people who hate you with every fiber of their being, every thought and every breath they take. People whose hatred is like a living thing inside of them, nurtured and fed every time your blasted face appeared on the holonet, every time someone praised the 'savior of the galaxy', every time you went on some mission and 'saved' some hopeless cause. People who not only want to see you dead, but want to see you suffer endless pain before your death, to repay the endless pain that you've caused others."

As he spoke, Viktor's voice became more heated, more fervent in its virulence, and he leaned in towards his captive until his nose was only centimeters away from Luke's nose. The Jedi Master was shocked to his core at the depth of loathing in Viktor's face and tone.

"People like…me," Viktor's voice dropped to a whisper and Luke could feel the evil intent in his face and bearing.

Reaching down deep to find some semblance of his vaunted Jedi calm, Luke spoke quietly. "I am what I am, and I can be no more or no less."

Viktor's harsh bark of laughter startled Luke, causing him to flinch. Berdin turned and stepped away and Luke breathed a quiet sigh of relief, even though he knew his reprieve would undoubtedly not last long.

"And that's what this experiment is all about, really. To find out what you're truly made of when you don't have your precious Force to help you cheat your way through life."

Luke's lips flattened into a thin line and he remained quiet, refusing to give in to Viktor's taunt. Berdin turned suddenly back to face Luke, the quickness of the move again causing Luke to flinch, making him curse himself for revealing such weakness to his captor.

Viktor reached around behind his back and pulled out an object that had been tucked into the back of his pants. Holding it up for Luke to see, he smiled maliciously.

"Do you know what this is?"

Luke glanced at the slim, metal cylinder in Berdin's hand. It was a little longer than his lightsaber, but smoother, with no handgrip. There were two small prongs that stuck out on one end of the mechanism and a button about halfway down the shaft. As Viktor pressed the button, an arc of electricity jumped between the prongs. Luke swallowed with a suddenly dry mouth as he stared at the device in Berdin's hand. He wasn't certain that he recognized it, but he had a feeling that it wasn't going to be something he wanted to find out more about.

"No, I don't know what it is."

"Ah, I'm surprised at you, Master Skywalker," Viktor said in a mocking tone. "And it's something from your own home world, too."

Luke said nothing, determined not to be drawn into this competition that Viktor seemed to relish.

"It's a herding prod, used by eopie ranchers on Tatooine," he explained in a patronizingly patient voice. "Hmm. Interesting, isn't it? This is used to control dumb animals from Tatooine, even those that like to call themselves Jedi Masters," he sneered.

Luke's nostrils flared in anger at the blatant insult, but still he kept his silence. _He's only trying to goad you into losing your temper, Luke. You're better than that, _he told himself.

"Have you wondered yet why you're here?" Viktor asked suddenly.

Luke looked at him warily. How was he supposed to answer that question? Of course, he'd wondered why he was here, and Berdin had to know that, but Luke still didn't want to admit it to him.

"The thought had crossed my mind a time or two," he said cautiously.

Viktor laughed cruelly. "You don't fool me for a second, Jedi. I can practically smell the fear on you." He stepped in uncomfortably close to his prisoner and Luke remembered that lick on the ear with some disgust and dismay. Berdin was almost cheek-to-cheek with him as he exaggeratingly inhaled, then whispered, "And I like it. Very, very much."

Luke could feel the nausea roiling in his stomach at Berdin's tone, but he forced himself not to flinch away, remembering also the elbow to the nose he'd taken for that motion the last time. Without any further warning, Viktor pressed the button on the herding prod, activating the current, and touched it sharply to Luke's side.

Startled, Luke cried out as waves of fire pulsed through his system, bringing unbearable agony in their wake. His body jerked and twisted as he hung from the cuffs, but he couldn't get away from the torment. After what was probably only seconds - although it had felt like much longer - Berdin pulled the prod away and stepped back to observe the outcome of his handiwork.

Luke groaned as every nerve ending in his body seemed to be screaming in protest, hanging limply from his restraints as sweat poured from him.

"My father's name was Aldor Erollisi. He was a brilliant man, simply brilliant. People came from as far as the Outer Rim just to hear his lectures. He was fiery, one could even say passionate, about what he believed in. He was a wonderful father, as well. He always had time for an impatient son's many questions. He used to carry me on his shoulders and I would pretend I was the tallest man in the galaxy…" Viktor said, and his voice trailed off as he appeared to become lost in his memories. "Then later, after I had grown into a young man, he encouraged me in all things. And he was so proud when I decided to follow in his footsteps into the world of science."

Luke squinted at Berdin uncertainly, his breathing harsh and labored, as he wondered what the point to this speech was. Viktor seemed to remember his captive then, and turned his glare on Luke once more.

"Is his name familiar to you?" he asked roughly.

"N-no, it isn't," Luke gasped. "Should it be?"

"Of course it should, Jedi!" Berdin spat angrily. "You killed him!"


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Yikes! Sorry about leaving y'all with that cliffie! I had intended to post the next chapter pretty quickly, but got distracted by school and the upcoming release of a certain 7th book of this wizarding school series... **

**Anyway, my apologies, and here's the next bit. More Luke torture, some explanation behind Viktor's dastardly deeds, a bit of bitchy Mara, with a dash of sisterly bonding thrown in for good measure.**

* * *

Viciously, Viktor shoved the herding prod into Luke's belly, a grim smile of triumph on his face as his victim's screams increased in intensity. Luke was again reminded of those terrible moments on the second Death Star as Palpatine's Force-lightning had seared him with agony. Only this time, his father wasn't here to save him…no one was here to save him.

Viktor wasn't easing up this time, and Luke had the heart-stopping thought that the man was so enraged, so out-of-control, that he was going to kill him right here and now. Luke's mind latched onto an image of Mara, and he knew that, for her, he had to fight until his last breath.

Somehow finding the strength despite the agonizing pain, Luke twisted his hands in the cuffs and grabbed hold of the chain that linked them. Using that as support, he lifted his legs and planted his feet in Viktor's stomach, shoving him away with all his might.

Viktor was completely taken by surprise and made no move to stop his backwards momentum. He crashed into the opposite wall and Luke breathed a sigh of relief as the torment abated. He knew better than to think his reprieve would last, so he attempted to distract Berdin's attention.

"I didn't kill your father. I don't even know who he was," Luke growled as he tried to catch his breath. Every centimeter of his body ached and burned and he found he could barely remember what it was like not to be in pain.

Viktor struggled upright after only seconds and the sheer hatred in his gaze frightened Luke as nothing else in his life ever had. He strode quickly back across the room to stare into his prisoner's eyes, causing Luke to involuntarily flinch away.

"I'm not surprised you don't remember only one of a million beings, Jedi," he snarled.

_A million…? _And then Luke understood finally what Berdin was talking about and just how Viktor's father had died.

"The Death Star? Your father was on the Death Star? That's what this is all about?" Luke gave a harsh bark of laughter in disbelief.

Viktor's face twisted even further in rage, and Luke's head jerked to the side with the force of Berdin's fist smashing into his jaw. Luke spit blood before turning back to look at his tormentor with a defiant glare of his own.

"Such a cavalier attitude about the many lives you took that day, Skywalker. Not very Jedi-like, is it?" Viktor mocked.

As galling as it was to hear the taunt come from this bastard's mouth, Viktor's words helped Luke to focus and try to find that calm center that he'd always been able to sink into with the Force as his ally. Just because he could not access the Force right now, it didn't mean he wasn't still a Jedi.

"I regret every life lost in that battle, Berdin, both Alliance and Imperial. Nevertheless, I came to terms with my actions on that day a long time ago."

"Came to terms? Came to _terms! _Is that how you deal with murder, Skywalker? All the orphans you created with one little push of a button? How many other young men did you deprive of a father?" As he spoke, he grasped Luke's chin with one hand, shaking his captive's head cruelly as he made his point. Viktor's eyes were growing ever darker with rage and - Luke feared - a touch of madness.

"And how did the Empire deal with all the orphans left when they blew Alderaan into a billion pieces?" Luke forced the words out in a snarl since Viktor was brutally squeezing his jaw.

"You…understand…_nothing!_" Viktor shouted, the strength of his anger overwhelming Luke. He released his prisoner's jaw with a shove, but instead of being relieved, Luke felt a spike of fear shoot through him as he watched Viktor steadily become crazed with rage.

The helpless Jedi instinctively shrank away in horror as Viktor's fury reached a boiling point and exploded. Unfortunately, Luke had nowhere to go as Berdin vented his wrath on him in a flurry of fists. The blows came furiously and continuously, taking his breath away and driving him to the point of unconsciousness. The force of Berdin's strikes was so intense that Luke's jerking motions pulled the hook his cuffs were linked to out of the ceiling, and he crashed hard to the floor with a cry of pain.

Viktor didn't pause one moment in the thrashing of his hostage, and began to kick his downed victim. Luke raised his arms to protect his head, at the same time trying pull his legs up to guard his torso, but it wasn't much use. Viktor seemed to unerringly find any open spot and home in on it. Luke's vision became blurry and he feared he was about to pass out, and who knew what Viktor would do to him then?

Finally, with a growl, Viktor stopped hitting him and all Luke could see were his booted feet turning and walking around the cell for a moment. His entire body felt like one massive bruise and it hurt just to breathe. Suddenly, Viktor squatted down beside him and grabbed him by the hair, lifting his head off the floor. Luke cried out in protest at the pain that shot through his system.

"Damn you, Jedi! You almost made me completely lose control there. And I don't want to kill you, not yet. I have so much more planned for you before I watch you die," he said in a guttural tone that caused fear to penetrate Luke's haze of agony. Luke winced when Viktor let his head drop back down to the floor.

Viktor laughed as Luke watched his boots as he left the room. "Sleep well, Master Skywalker. We'll talk again soon."

Luke lay in the middle of the floor where Viktor had left him, too weary to even attempt to make his way over to the tiny cot. He tried to take a deep breath, but it ended in a cough as a sharp pain lanced through his chest and he worried that Viktor's kicks might have cracked a rib or two.

Hot tears burned behind his eyelids and despair began to creep in at the edge of his senses. He wanted to remain hopeful that his family would find him, but every hour that passed made him doubt a little more that they were even looking. _They think you're dead…they're _not_ looking! _As much as he tried to banish that thought, it snaked its way into his head and wouldn't leave. He was alone, and he was going to die alone.

"Mara," he whispered miserably, "Leia, help me, please…"

Again, he tried to reach out to his lover and to his sister through the Force, and again he met the blank wall that the disruptor disks were pressing down on him. His body curled into a ball as the tears began to escape his eyes to stream down his cheeks, and he had to fight hard to avoid falling into the black pool of hopelessness that pulled at his senses.

* * *

Mara was having a hard time pushing back the wave of hopelessness that wanted to wash over her. Ten days. They had been looking for ten days, and had not found one sign or clue of what might have happened to Luke. The longer he was missing, the more Mara dreaded that they would find only a body, or worse, never know what had happened to him at all. 

The most difficult part of the ordeal was trying to maintain her composure in front of well-meaning people who kept coming up to her to give their condolences on the loss of her best friend. She had to restrain herself from screaming at these fools that he was more than her best friend, he was her lover and her life, and he was not dead! He was alive, stang it, alive! If only she could find him…

As hard as it was on her, Mara knew that it was equally as hard on Leia and Han, perhaps even harder for them. Everyone knew of their connection to Luke Skywalker, therefore they probably got three times the number of words of sympathy that Mara did.

Her eyesight began to blur as she studied - for at least the twentieth time - a datapad listing the names of beings who might've held a grudge against Luke. It wasn't until one tear sneaked out of her eye that she realized her vision was blurring from crying rather than exhaustion. Frustrated and infuriated at their lack of progress, Mara threw the datapad down and stood in a burst of rage.

"This is useless! There has to be something more we can do!"

Han, Leia, Wedge, and Corran looked up at her as she began to pace around the Solo's living room.

"We're doing everything we can, Mara," Leia said quietly.

"No, we're not! If we were doing everything we can, then we'd have found him already," Mara snarled.

"We _are_ going to find him," Wedge said earnestly.

Mara turned on him angrily, latching on to a convenient target for her frustration and fear. "Would that assuage your guilty conscience, Antilles?" she sneered.

Wedge's face paled in shock at her accusation, and Leia cried, "Mara!" at the same time that Han said sharply, "That's enough, Jade."

"Oh, don't get sanctimonious with me, Solo. You're both thinking the same thing and you're just too polite and civilized to say it. If it wasn't for Wedge's inability to keep an eye on his kid, then Luke would still be here!"

"I never wanted Luke to be hurt!" Wedge shouted as he stood up to face Mara.

"Yeah, well that didn't exactly work out the way you wanted it to, did it?"

"Jade, I said that's enough! I don't care if you are Luke's fiancée, this is my house, Wedge is my guest, and he's one of Luke's best friends. You will NOT talk to him like that again!" Han said sternly as he stood up and stepped in between the two people facing each other across the living room.

"No one tells me what to do, Solo," Mara said in a dangerously low voice.

"Maybe not, Mara, but what do you think Luke would say if he could see you right now?" Corran asked quietly.

Mara actually took a step backwards, so startled was she by Corran's question. For the briefest of moments, her face showed the desperate fear and anguish that was ripping her apart on the inside, but it was so quickly covered by a mask of stony indifference, that the others in the room wondered if they had imagined it. Her jaw tightened and, rather than respond to Corran, she turned and stalked out onto the Solo's balcony.

There was an awkward silence in the room following her departure, and Wedge finally spoke up, sadness emanating from him so strongly that Leia could feel it in the Force.

"Leia, Luke saved my daughter's life. I could never…" he broke off as he seemed uncertain what to say. "If I had known what was going to happen, I would have gone after her myself."

"And then Syal might not have made it out alive, Wedge," Leia replied quietly. "Luke was just doing what he did best. Putting his duty before his own safety. He would have done the same for any one of us in this room. No one blames you. Mara is just frightened and angry at the person behind this, as we all are."

"Yeah, she just doesn't hide the anger part as well as the rest of us," Han drawled.

Nervous laughter echoed around the room as Leia turned her head to look at Mara Jade standing on their balcony, her hands gripping the railing and her head bowed.

"I should go talk to her," Leia murmured.

"Are you sure that's wise, Princess? She's probably still pretty upset and Mara's not exactly one to accept coddling," Han said doubtfully.

"I'll be fine. And I'm sure if I need rescuing, you'll be right out there, nerfherder," Leia said with a smile for her husband.

"You know it, your Highnessness," Han grinned.

When Leia walked out onto the balcony, Mara was crying. There was no hysterical sobbing - Mara wasn't normally the type of woman to sob - but a few silent tears were sliding down her cheeks. Leia walked up to stand beside her and the two of them gazed without speaking at the Manarai Mountains in the distance.

Leia broke the silence first.

"I think you might owe Wedge an apology."

Mara snorted. "I'm not very good at apologies," she muttered.

"What do you think Luke would say to that excuse?"

Mara's head dropped and a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sniffle came from underneath the hair that was hanging over her face. "Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" Leia asked.

"Don't ask me to imagine Luke judging me. I already know that I'm not good enough for him. I don't need to be reminded of it."

Leia's jaw dropped open in astonishment.

"Mara, that's not what I meant at all!"

Mara raised her head to give Luke's sister a glare, but it was rather half-hearted, her misery plain for Leia to see. "It doesn't matter if that's what you meant. It's true."

"No, it's not-" Leia began to protest, but Mara cut her off.

"It's the truth!" she said harshly. "That's one of the reasons I was so hesitant to get involved with Luke. He's a Jedi. And he's so…so _good_! There's such a purity to him that it…it almost blinds me sometimes. How can someone like that love someone like _me_?" Mara said, her voice dropping to a despondent whisper.

To her surprise, Leia laughed softly. "Oh, my, I certainly hope you don't think that Luke is in any way, shape, or form, perfect. Because I assure you, he's not."

"He's pretty damn close, if you ask me," Mara said stubbornly.

Leia held up one hand and began ticking off her twin's faults, as only a sister's love would allow her to do. "He's reckless; impatient; incredibly stubborn, especially when he thinks he's right; he drives his speeder much too fast; it costs me a small fortune just to feed him; he spoils my children shamelessly, although I guess that could be good, since it does mean that he loves them; and he simply cannot remember to lower the lid after he's done in the 'fresher." Leia threw her hands up in mock despair and gave Mara a teasing look of exasperation.

Mara stared at Leia in shock, and then a tiny giggle snuck up on her from out of nowhere. She covered her mouth with one hand as she and Leia looked at each other with the same twinkling of mirth in their eyes. Seconds later, they were both snickering helplessly as Leia wrapped one arm around Mara's back, and the redhead slipped one arm around the princess' neck.

"That 'fresher thing does drive me nuts," she said around the laughter.

"Ugh, and I haven't been able to get Han to do it either, and the both of them set a terrible example for Jacen and Anakin," Leia sighed.

They stood quietly for a moment, enjoying the temporary respite from the overwhelming concern for the man they both loved. It was very brief, however, as Mara felt the crushing weight of worry for Luke begin to push at her again. Her fingers found the ring hanging on the chain around her neck and rubbed it gently.

"Stars, Leia, I just miss him so much. It's like a piece of me is missing," she said hoarsely.

"I know. I know," Leia said as she gave Mara's shoulder a squeeze. "But we're going to find him. We will. I can feel it."

Mara nodded, then straightened with a sniff and a deep breath. "Well, I guess I'd better get to it, then."

"Get to what?"

"Apologizing to Antilles. I'm really not very good with apologies."

"Well, I'll be right there to help you out," Leia smiled.

"Good, cause I'm probably gonna need it," Mara muttered as she walked back into the Solo's apartment.

Leia paused for just a second on the balcony, looking back towards the Manarai Mountains that her brother loved so much. Although she knew it was a useless gesture, she couldn't help sending out a message through the Force.

**Hold on, Luke, just a little longer. We're coming, I promise.**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Oopsie, another long break there, huh? Well, this time I have a really good excuse! I do! My son had surgery and I had to deal with that, and on top of that, I've been looking for a job. And I found one! Yay ME! **

**Yeah, I know, y'all are all "we don't care, where's the rest of the story?" (snicker)**

**So, this chapter is all Luke and Viktor, and there's some hurtin' involved for our poor Jedi. We also get a little more insight into the doctor's evil plan. Muhahahahaha!**

* * *

Luke had lost all sense of the passage of time. There were moments where he felt that he'd been trapped in this living hell forever. At other times, he woke from a restless, dream-filled sleep, murmuring Mara's name and reaching out for her, expecting her to be there as she had what must have been only moments ago. It seemed only a heartbeat had passed since he'd had Mara in his arms, making love to her, joyously feeling his body join with hers. Frequently, after having that dream, he opened his eyes to see the dull walls of his cell, and was surprised and saddened when the truth of his circumstances washed over him anew.

It was at those moments that he hit his lowest points. Luke tried not to let Viktor know how affected he was by this imprisonment and isolation, but he had a feeling that he wasn't very successful in hiding it, judging by the customary look of superiority on his tormentor's face.

The utter silence that surrounded him when Viktor wasn't in the cell playing 'the game' had begun to eat at him. Luke longed to hear the sound of a friendly voice, or the lilting tune of one of the songs Leia would sing to the children as she put them to bed. At first, he would softly sing the songs to himself, but his throat would inevitably start to ache as he contemplated never seeing his niece and nephews again, so he would hum the melodies. It soothed him just a little to close his eyes as he hummed the lullabies and, unconsciously, Luke would rock back and forth, twirling his finger in his hair as little Anakin used to do. Some small part of his mind recognized that he was losing his grip on reality, but he seemed helpless to stop the slow slide into madness.

Unable to see the outside world, his days and nights jumbled together and he never knew when Viktor would come. Sometimes, it seemed he visited his prisoner in what should be the middle of the night, waking Luke from what fitful little starts of sleep he was able to get. He had tried to judge how many days he had been here, and was unable to even hazard a guess. It seemed like years…

Luke sucked in a startled breath as a new fear occurred to him. Viktor intended to kill him and Luke knew that. He didn't fear his own death, so much as he hated the responsibility for it being in Viktor's hands. But what if Berdin decided to drag this torture out literally for years? Luke did not think he'd be able to withstand that. He would truly go insane, he knew it.

Thus far, his torture seemed to have avoided any permanent damage - although Viktor made sure that it hurt like hell - but Luke worried that he would someday decide to do something even more terrible than the beatings. _What if he decides to blind me? Or cripple me? Take away my legs, or my hands… _

He looked down at his bionic hand, remembering another torturous time that he'd been beaten and maimed. Luke had thought that nothing could ever surpass Bespin as the worst thing that had ever happened to him, but he knew now that he was wrong. Viktor Berdin was his worst nightmare multiplied ten times over.

The Jedi code seemed a distant memory as Luke admitted to himself that he hated Viktor Berdin, hated him with a passion that made his disdain for Emperor Palpatine seem like a child's petty grudge. Unfortunately, he now knew more about Viktor than he ever wanted to, for with every visit, with every beating, Luke was forced to listen to the man reminisce about his father and the life that a naïve farmboy-turned-pilot had 'stolen' from him.

Viktor's rhetoric would vary from innocent remembrances of a son's time with his father, to vitriol-filled diatribes against the man he held responsible for the death of that innocence. It was at those times that the beatings became particularly vicious, and in those painful moments, Luke almost wished for death. The only thing that kept those pleas from pouring out of his mouth was that he did not want Viktor to have that satisfaction. The Skywalker stubbornness was legendary and Luke pulled it around himself now, using it as a cloak of defense against Viktor's manipulations.

But it was becoming so very hard…

He still held out a tiny hope that Mara, Leia and Han were coming for him, but it was growing dimmer by the minute. Lately, his thoughts had grown even more morbid, as he wondered fearfully what Berdin would do with his body once he'd killed him. It was something that Luke realized he did not need to dwell on, but some perverse fear inside him almost had him obsessed with it. The thought that his family might never know what had really happened to him filled Luke with a sadness so profound that it brought tears to his eyes.

On the heels of that sadness would come the anger and the hatred for Viktor Berdin, and Luke thought that here was one being that he might enjoy killing if he ever got the chance. Vaguely, he remembered that feeling this way was wrong, but at the moment, wallowing in his pain and fear, he couldn't exactly remember why.

Luke was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest on the cot that was his cell's only piece of furniture, eyes closed, body swaying slightly as he hummed the lullaby _Dance, Dance, Little Ewok_. A soft smile crossed his face…that one was Jacen's favorite. He fell silent and his eyes snapped open when he heard the door unbolt and Viktor stepped into the room. Luke turned his head away from him, not even wanting to have the man's image in his mind.

Of course, Viktor would not allow Luke to ignore him for very long. The beginning of this torture session followed the same path as most of the others…a beating with Viktor's fists first, and then various other instruments of pain. Sometimes he used the herding prod again - always careful not to lose control as he had that first time – and other times he brought out instruments that had to have been outlawed even by the Imperials. Luke's skin had become a maze of welts, cuts, and bruises that would have made him the hands-down winner in his long ago contest with Mara.

_No, don't think of her now. Not now, you need to focus to make it through this!_ he told himself fiercely. One day at a time…that was the only way he'd survived as long as he had. Luke took no small amount of pride in the fact that he could see a tinge of Viktor's frustration that he hadn't broken his prisoner yet. Viktor didn't know how very close he was to succeeding in that, but Luke was determined to beat the bastard at his own game.

Right now, however, his head was reeling as he tried to maintain consciousness despite Viktor's latest bout of brutality. He was facing the wall of the cell, his arms spread wide and chained to the wall as Viktor maliciously struck him over and over. Luke's voice was hoarse from screaming, long ago having lost the bit of defiance that kept him silent to spite his captor.

He rested his cheek against the wall, taking advantage of a small respite, breathing heavily and squinting against the sweat and blood that ran down into his eyes. In a daze, he opened his eyes and watched as Viktor unlatched one arm. He slumped downwards, unable to bear his own weight, and grimaced as Viktor roughly caught him up. After releasing his other arm, Berdin dragged him over to a chair that had been placed in the middle of the cell. Luke looked down in some confusion. He didn't recall that chair being there before.

Of course, it was no ordinary chair. Viktor placed Luke's arms on the arms of the chair, closing manacles that clamped around his wrists. A thick strap was locked around his chest, and Luke tried not to shudder as he wondered what was coming now. Viktor sat down on the edge of Luke's cot and stared at his prisoner.

The unrelenting gaze unnerved Luke intensely. He was almost more afraid of Berdin when he was calm and cold like this than when he lost his composure, and his temper. When he was in control, the torture tended to last longer.

"I met _your_ father once, you know," Viktor said, breaking the painful silence.

"What?" Luke asked, confused at the seemingly random comment.

"Darth Vader, the Dark Lord of the Sith. The Emperor's second-in-command," Berdin said with a slight sneer. "I met him once."

Luke stared back at Berdin, waiting for him to say something else, wondering why he was talking about this now. When no explanation came, he asked, "And?" in a tone that showed his exasperation.

"And one has to wonder how in the nine hells a being as strong as Vader fathered a weakling and a coward like yourself."

Luke's anger spiked at the insult. Normally, he tried to let Viktor's insults simply roll off his back, but to be called a coward struck straight to his heart. Luke had faced many difficult situations in his life and he'd faced them all bravely, or so he liked to believe. Then he gave Berdin a smirk, some spark of the rebel in him appearing once again.

"Darth Vader was not my father. Anakin Skywalker was, and he was stronger than Vader in the end," Luke said, putting as much disdain in his voice as he possibly could.

He didn't really expect Viktor to understand his view of the man who had given him life – even Leia still had a hard time understanding that – and he also knew Berdin would not have any patience with such a vague answer. Predictably, Luke was rewarded with a sharp blow across the face from the back of Viktor's fist. With a grunt, Luke turned his head back around to give him a baleful glare.

"At least Vader understood the importance of having order in the galaxy! You rebels have mucked everything up," Berdin snarled.

"There are no rebels anymore. We're called the New Republic. And at least we don't try to keep order by constructing a massive weapon!" Luke shot back. _I must really have a death wish…_ he thought to himself, but it was so hard to resist responding to Viktor's taunts.

That remark earned him a strike in the gut, and the breath whooshed out of him as Luke sagged forward, as much as the strap around his chest would allow. A startled yelp escaped him as Viktor grabbed him by the hair and yanked his head back up. The blood in his veins turned to ice as Berdin loosened his tight grip on Luke's hair, smoothing it back down almost like a mother would do to her child. One hand came around to caress Luke's cheek, causing the helpless Jedi's stomach to clench in disgust and fear.

"Ah, Skywalker, you have given me such pleasure during this game. More than anyone I've ever played it with," Viktor said with a chuckle.

His smile made bile rise up in Luke's throat and he swallowed nervously, trying not to vomit all over Viktor's shoes. These tiny little touches and strokes had started to come more frequently and Luke felt a crushing dread in his gut at what they might eventually mean. Then the meaning of Viktor's statement sunk in.

"You've done this to other people?" he asked in astonishment. If that were true, how could he have not sensed the pure evil in this man the moment he'd met him in Doctor Mondahl's office?

Viktor laughed cruelly. "Oh, I'm sorry, Master Jedi, do you think you're that special? Well, I _know_ you think you are, but I'm sorry to inform you that you are not," Viktor said nastily. "I do admit that you're not my usual type of player. Normally, it's lovely young ladies that I like to play the game with."

Luke again had to push down the nauseated feeling that was building in his belly. To think of some innocent young woman dealing with all that Viktor had been putting him through…it caused every protective instinct that Luke possessed to utterly rebel.

"Of course, you did require some extra planning and work. I've never had to create a clone for any of my players before," Viktor said.

Luke tried not to let his curiosity about the part of this ordeal that had always puzzled him show, but he knew he was unsuccessful when Viktor smirked at him knowingly.

"You wonder about that, yes? The clone?"

"Yes," Luke muttered, not seeing the point in denying it, and he never knew how Viktor was going to react to his answers anyway.

"Let us just say that I was very grateful for the sample you naively provided me with. Honestly, with your blind stupidity, I'm surprised you've lived as long as you have, especially with all the other beings who despise you floating around in the galaxy."

Luke ignored the jibe, almost having grown accustomed to them at this point, and focused in on the rest of Berdin's words.

"But that sample… You didn't have time to create a clone from that, you couldn't have."

Viktor laughed again and Luke could tell he was relishing tormenting his prisoner in yet another way. Determined not to give in to the taunts, Luke waited quietly, saying nothing. One thing he had discovered quickly about Viktor was that the man loved to hear himself talk. If Luke could be patient and not give in to the goading - which was very difficult at times, especially as low as his resistance was lately - then he usually found out what he wanted to know.

"My father was a scientist, Jedi. He helped to develop the original Spaarti cloning cylinders," Viktor bragged.

Luke tensed at Viktor's mention of his father. That could sometimes set off a beating, due to Viktor blaming Luke for his father's death, while at other times, he just loved to reminisce about what a wonderful relationship he and his father had shared. Viktor droned on for a few moments about what a brilliant man his father had been and Luke relaxed slightly. Apparently, it was one of the nostalgic times.

"…so, yes, I suppose you're correct in saying that five weeks was not enough time if one wanted a fully functioning clone, but…" Viktor trailed off and smiled his evil smile down at his captive. He leaned in close to Luke, and the Jedi Master had to restrain himself from flinching in disgust. "…all yours had to do was die," he said in a soft, yet somehow menacing tone.

Luke blanched, everything within him utterly repulsed as he realized what Viktor's words meant. Ever since the moment that Ben Kenobi had introduced him to the mysterious life-energy known as the Force, nearly every waking moment of Luke's existence had been dedicated to preserving and nurturing life. Yes, there had been instances where he'd had to take life, but Luke regretted and was saddened by each and every one of those, including the Death Star. Perhaps especially the Death Star…

The notion of someone creating life for the sole purpose of later destroying it turned Luke's stomach. His jaw tightened with the effort of holding his anger back, for he would only earn himself pain if he let Viktor have the blistering rebuttal of his twisted view of life that Luke longed to give. Viktor laughed again at the expression on his victim's face. Luke was truly beginning to despise the sound of Viktor's laugh.

"I'm sorry, Master Jedi, do my words offend you?"

"_You_ offend me," Luke said in a low growl.

Again, Luke's head snapped to one side from the force of Viktor's fist to his cheek. This time, on the heels of learning such a demoralizing fact, Luke could not even turn his head back to look at Viktor. He remained staring at the floor, his head hanging low.

"Look at me, Jedi."

Luke didn't move. Viktor's fingers grasped him by the chin and forced his head around. Luke grunted in protest, but was far too weakened to resist Viktor for long.

"How would your father have punished such disobedience, I wonder?" Viktor sneered. "Oh, but we both know, don't we? Lord Vader loved using his _Force_," he still spat the word as though it were a curse, "to choke the very breath from those who displeased him. Have you ever tested that particular skill, Master Skywalker?"

Luke didn't want to reveal anything to Viktor, but he could not contain the guilt that flashed into his eyes, as he recalled when he had fallen so far at Byss, and what he had done to Han, his brother, his best friend.

"Oh, I see that you have, haven't you!" Viktor crowed with malicious glee. "And here you've been feeling so morally superior. How far the mighty have fallen."

"I've never said that I haven't made mistakes, but I believe I've atoned for them," Luke said, his jaw aching painfully where Viktor's fingers were holding him.

Viktor's face flared into a mask of anger and hatred and he leaned in so close that Luke could feel the hot, harsh breath on his cheeks.

"Not according to me, you haven't. And I'm the only judge you have to worry about right now, aren't I?"

Releasing his jaw, Viktor turned away to stalk across the cell to the droid that always waited quietly near the doorway during the 'game'. The blasted piece of machinery not only brought Luke his meals; the thing also held all the implements that Viktor used to torture his captive with. Luke was uncertain whether he hated the droid, or whether he was glad to sometimes see something that wasn't hurting him.

Viktor plucked something from one of the droid's many appendages before turning back to his prisoner. Luke stared at the item Viktor was holding, afraid to think of what it might be for. It was gray in color, and circular in shape, with an opening in the center. Luke's breathing quickened and his heart rate increased when Viktor flicked a latch on the side of the object, opening it in half. He jerked, trying futilely to get away as the thing was clamped around his neck like a collar.

"This is another one of my little inventions. Not quite as intricate as the disruptor disks, but useful all the same. I'm afraid I'm not very creative when it comes to naming my devices. No fancy monikers here, this one I simply call a constricting collar. Can you imagine what it does with a name like that?" Viktor asked mockingly.

Luke didn't answer as he dropped his eyes down to the floor. He could feel panic building in his gut and wondered if this was finally it, if this was the day that Viktor was going to end his twisted game, and take his ultimate revenge for his father's death. The name 'constricting collar' and Viktor's talk of Darth Vader's use of Force-choking didn't leave him any doubts as to what was about to happen. Luke closed his eyes, praying for the strength to face his death without fear.

_Father, Force willing, I will be with you soon…_

Perhaps that line of thought might seem like he was giving up to some people, but gods, he was tired. So very tired of the constant pain and hurt and the crushing loneliness. Leia, Han, Mara, and all his friends had already mourned him. They wouldn't have to face that pain again, and perhaps soon, they could begin to heal. And he longed to see his father and Obi-Wan and Yoda again… If he concentrated hard enough, it was almost as though he could see them, beckoning him to join them from just beyond the edges of this hated room.

A sharp slap across his face brought him back to reality and Luke looked up at Berdin with a bewildered expression on his face for just a moment.

"Don't fade on me yet, Skywalker. I have so many more fun games for us to play," Viktor sneered.

Luke gave the man a cold glare and said sarcastically, "I'm not having much fun. I'd like to lodge a complaint with the management of this establishment."

Viktor laughed and Luke hated the sound, almost as much as he hated the man.

"Oh, I am delighted that all the fight has not gone out of you yet, Jedi," Viktor said. "It's never as much fun for me when the player gives up too soon."

Luke decided not to respond to that and tensed his muscles, trying to mentally prepare for the ordeal that he knew was forthcoming.

Viktor sat down on the edge of Luke's cot and pulled a small device out of his pocket with a flourish. Luke's jaw tightened even more, trying to resist responding to the theatrics.

"Now, let's see…how did the Dark Lord himself do it? Oh, yes, he would gesture with his hand like so…" Viktor raised his left hand and waved it in the air a few times, while simultaneously pressing a button on the remote he held in his right hand.

Luke gasped as the collar slowly began to constrict around his neck, ever so slowly cutting off his airway. His body jerked against the restraints as he struggled for the air that was being stolen from him bit by bit. Luke's eyes widened as his gaze locked on Viktor and damn, if the bastard wasn't still waving his hand around like an idiot.

It was probably only a matter of seconds, but it felt like an eternity before the device around his neck gave a click and a whirring sound, and he was suddenly able to breathe again. Luke took in huge gulps of air, his chest aching terribly, as his head fell onto the back of the chair.

"My, that really does give one a sense of power. I can see why Darth Vader employed it so often. _You_ probably didn't know what to do with it."

Luke ignored that slur, not having the energy to reply to it at the moment. Instead, he concentrated on getting his heart rate back down to a normal rhythm. Trembling all over, he wondered painfully if this was what Han had felt all those years ago, and a fresh wave of guilt washed over him.

"That was only twenty seconds, Skywalker. How long do you think it would take to kill you?"

Luke's eyes flew open and he looked at Viktor in shock. His face settled into a glare as he realized Berdin had only said that to get a reaction out of him, and blast the man, he had succeeded.

"Why don't you stop talking about it and go ahead and do it? I'm sick of looking at your face," Luke snarled.

"Oh, still a little feisty, I see," Viktor chucked cruelly. He leaned in close so that all Luke could see was that horrible face filling his field of vision. "I look forward to watching you die, Master Jedi, but it will be when I decide, and not before."

Luke told Viktor what he thought of that in graphic Huttese. Viktor's eyebrow raised and he said, "No need to get so crude, Master Skywalker."

Casually, he pressed the button on the remote and once again, the collar began to tighten around Luke's throat. Viktor stayed right in his face, seeming to enjoy his captive's torment as he labored to breathe. Luke's fingers clawed into the arms of the chair as he strained and fought violently against the restraints. A haze of red began to cloud his vision and his chest felt unbearably tight, his heart pounding so hard that he could feel it in his ears.

He clenched his teeth as a strangled sounding groan was ripped from his mouth. Viktor's face became blurry and Luke could feel unconsciousness and death only moments away.

"Beg me, Skywalker, and I'll let you live. If not, you die right now. Are you ready to die?" Viktor whispered hurriedly in his ear.

The instinct to survive flared up in Luke and he knew he wasn't ready to die, to give up, not yet. It didn't matter if Viktor won this round, Luke just wanted to breathe! He tried to force the words out of his mouth and couldn't make his tongue form them. Desperately, he stared Viktor in the face, his eyes pleading what his mouth could not.

"Not good enough, Jedi. I have to hear you say it," Viktor taunted.

Anger burned in Luke's face and in his heart at Viktor's unbearable cruelty. _You bastard! I can't, I can't!_ But he had to and he knew he had to, or this was it, and Luke was not ready for this to be the end.

"Puh...lee...eeezzz." The word was garbled and barely recognizable, but it must have satisfied Viktor, because the collar whirred and clicked again. Luke sucked in sweet air and immediately fell into a fit of coughing as his overworked body adjusted to having oxygen once more. His lungs burned with the effort of trying to get as much air in them as quickly as he could.

Disoriented, his head swimming, Luke was barely aware as Viktor released the restraints on his arms and chest. A low moan of protest came from his aching throat as Berdin lifted his unresisting body and hefted him over to the cot. Luke collapsed onto the narrow bed, his eyes closing, already near unconsciousness.

He watched through half-slit lids as Viktor headed towards the door of the cell, sending up a silent prayer of thanks that the game was over for the day. Abruptly, Viktor stopped halfway to the door and turned, almost as though he had forgotten something. Luke tensed, worried that he might decide the game wasn't finished for the day after all.

"Skywalker, I did tell you that you've been my favorite player so far, haven't I? And I must thank you for helping me choose my next player. I believe I'll turn back to the ladies and play with that lovely little redhead you've been consorting with," Viktor said, with a nasty gleam in his eye.

Luke's eyes flew open and he stared at Viktor in a panic. _Mara?! NO!_ he thought wildly. A rush of anger swept through him that was so fierce, had Luke been able to touch the Force right then, Viktor Berdin would be dead on the floor.

"You stay away from her!" Luke said in a rasping voice, for the moment ignoring the pain around his neck.

"Oh, but I'll just bet she'd be a magnificent player! I've read about her...so strong and fiery. How long do you think she'd hold up in my game?"

Luke's body trembled with the urge to throw himself at Viktor and literally choke the life out of him, but he simply did not have the strength to even rise from the cot.

"You bastard! You will not touch her!" Luke screamed, his throat on fire from the effort.

"The best part is," Viktor said, ignoring Luke's outburst, "is that you'll never know whether she's my next player or not...because by then, you'll already be dead."

With an evil snarl that could never be mistaken for the smile he probably intended it to be, Viktor swept out of the cell, closing the door on Luke's cries of anguish.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: And here's another chapter for ya! For the squeamish, this is the worst that the torture gets and this chapter includes non-consensual slash sex. I don't go into great detail, but it is there. But the good news is that Luke is getting closer to being rescued!**

**For those who are interested, my son came through the surgery just fine and is doing great!**

* * *

Dr. Darek Mondahl shuffled into his office after seeing his last patient of the day out the door. With a deep sigh, he fell into his chair and leaned back for a moment, letting the stresses of the day seep away. Unfortunately, it was the end of the month and time to reconcile the office expenses, so the stress wasn't likely to stay away. Figuring he'd better get to it if he wanted to get home at a decent hour, he pushed himself forward again and switched on his computer.

He glanced up as someone walked by his doorway. "Viktor! Say, Viktor!" he called out.

After a moment, his partner stuck his head back around the corner. "Yes, Darek?"

"Just wondered if you were going to finally accept Vari's offer to come over for dinner. She makes a mean nerf steak, you know," he said, thinking of his lovely wife with a smile.

Viktor smiled back at him, but shook his head. "Not tonight, Darek, though I really wish I could. It sounds marvelous."

"It is, it is! Although, I confess I was hoping you'd say yes so I could get out of doing this end-of-the-month paperwork. Ah, it's the bane of my existence!" Darek said with a laugh.

"You should hire someone to do it for you."

"Oh, I just like keeping my hand on things personally. I've been building this practice for forty years, you know. Are you sure I can't change your mind?"

"No, I really can't. I have an…important project that I'm working on at home," Viktor said and smiled again.

Darek blinked. For a moment, there'd been the oddest gleam in Viktor's eyes… But when he looked again, it was gone and he thought he must have been imagining things.

"Ah, well, one of these days I'll get you to say yes."

"Perhaps."

"I'll see you tomorrow, then," Darek said and turned back to his computer with a wave towards Viktor. His partner waved back and then moved down the hallway. With a shake of his head, Darek thought on Viktor for a moment. The man seemed so lonely. One of these days, he and Vari would have to find a lady friend for him.

"But tonight, paperwork awaits," he muttered to himself.

Nearly an hour and a half later, he was longing for that nerf steak. Medical school never told their students about all the dreaded paperwork they'd have to slog through. Noticing something unusual in a section he was about to delete, he highlighted it instead.

"That's odd," he mumbled to himself. It was a rather expensive item number that he didn't recall requisitioning himself. Making a note of it, he turned around to the shelf behind him and pulled down a datapad to look the item up.

A feeling of sadness and regret washed over him as he saw what the item was. A prosthetic hand. Darek sighed as he remembered how devastated the entire planet, including himself, had been to hear of Luke Skywalker's untimely death. The young man had truly been a noble soul, and Darek's heart ached at the realization that he'd never see the Jedi again.

He frowned as he wondered why the bionic hand had been ordered. Luke had never had the chance to come in and order one himself, so why had it been purchased? And by whom, because Darek knew he himself had not.

"Well, that I can figure out easily enough."

He turned back to the computer and looked up the order again. Viktor Berdin's name leaped out at him. Now why had Viktor presumptively purchased a prosthetic hand? They had no other human patients with missing limbs, so it would have had to be for the Jedi Master.

Something about the situation just didn't sit right with Darek and he pondered for a long moment on what he should do. He did have Leia Organa-Solo's comm code, but he hated the idea of calling her and dredging up disturbing memories when he knew she was still in mourning and trying to heal.

But his gut was telling him that this was important, so he put aside his misgivings and turned to the comm unit on his desk.

* * *

It was a very glum group that sat around the Solo living room compared to the one of thirty-four days ago. Every lead, every trail they'd tried to follow had withered up and blown away like so much sand on Tatooine. Then, they had been filled with such enthusiasm. They were going to find Luke, swoop in and rescue him, and bring him back home. They'd expected it to take a week or so at the most. Unrealistic perhaps, but the Skywalker/Solo luck had always seemed to run that way. 

Now, it only seemed to have run out. Leia glanced around the room, trying not to let her feelings of hopelessness drag her down, but it seemed to be affecting the others as well. There was only Han, Wedge, and Mara here today. It had been so long that everyone else had had to return to their normal duties. Wedge, however, had taken an indefinite leave of absence and had told Leia and Han that he would be there until Luke was found. Mara had flat out told Talon that she wasn't leaving Coruscant until Luke was home either, not that he would have denied her the time.

Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin were back in school, unaware of the fact that their parents thought their Uncle Luke was still alive. Well, they hadn't _told_ them as much, but Leia suspected they knew something was up. Besides being Force-sensitive, they were extremely bright children. And she didn't worry about them telling anyone about the possibility of Luke being alive…they could keep a secret. Sometimes too well, as their mother often lamented.

Wedge and Han were quietly discussing what the next option might be, poring over maps and charts of the surrounding systems. Mara was supposed to be looking through various holos to try and find any clues, but judging by the wistful look on her face, Leia had the feeling she was reminiscing more than anything else.

Leia gave a small sigh as she turned her own attention to the data discs in her hand. They'd been through them all at least a thousand times, hoping with each repetition that _this_ would be the time they'd discover a clue. She gamely started on a thousand and one.

The sudden beeping of the comm unit in the bedroom caused them all to start slightly in surprise. Leia and Han looked at one another. The unit in their bedroom was a private line that not many people had the frequency to. Han made to get up, but Leia waved him back with a motion of her hand.

"I'll get it. It's probably Winter, since I asked her to investigate some of her contacts from when she was Targeter," she said.

Han nodded and gave his wife an encouraging smile. Leia returned it as she walked into the bedroom. When she turned it on, she was a bit taken aback to see Dr. Darek Mondahl. _Luke's doctor_, she thought as her throat tightened.

"Hello, Darek," she said, with a pleasant smile, masking her pain.

"Hello, Princess. I am so very sorry to bother you at home like this, but I've...discovered something a little odd in my records, and I was wondering if you could give me some information."

"Certainly, if I can. What do you need to know?" A strong awareness in the Force rose up in her suddenly and Leia knew, without a doubt, that this was about Luke. Her hands began to tremble and she folded them in her lap firmly, trying to keep her expression neutral, so that Darek wouldn't think she was insane.

The doctor seemed to hesitate, and then he blurted out, "Well, it's about your brother."

Leia nodded serenely, fiercely keeping her emotions under control. "Go on."

"On his last visit, we had discussed with him the possibility of replacing his prosthetic with a newer, more updated model. Unfortunately, we never got around to actually doing that before he, um, before he died." His eyes told Leia how sorry he was to be bringing up such a sad subject, but Leia gave him a ghost of a smile, letting him know that she was okay.

"He did have that one for quite a few years, didn't he?" she said quietly. "Was he giving you trouble about wanting to replace it?"

Darek laughed softly. "You knew your brother well, Princess. He said the one he had was fine and he didn't need another. Viktor and I managed to convince him to think about it and he agreed to do so."

Leia froze at the mention of that name. _Viktor..._ The Force was screaming at her that something was wrong, very wrong, and she reached out to grasp it the way Luke had taught her, trying to discern what the trouble was.

"Viktor?" she was able to ask in a calm voice.

"My partner. I don't believe you've met him yet. Nice fellow, but he's done something that puzzles me somewhat," Darek said with a frown.

"What would that be?" Leia asked.

"Well, as far as I know, Luke never came back in to discuss getting a replacement prosthetic, but Viktor ordered one for some reason. I was wondering if perhaps I was wrong, and Luke had contacted the office about this matter?" he asked.

Images and feelings assaulted Leia so quickly that she gasped, dropping her head and squeezing her eyes tightly shut. She could hear Luke's voice saying _I just know I didn't like him and I got the feeling he didn't like me very much either._ A vivid image of the counterfeit version of her twin they had mourned and buried, _with his own prosthetic hand_, flooded into her mind. Added to that the strong feelings that Leia got through the Force with just the mention of this Viktor's name, and Leia _knew_.

"Princess Leia? Are you all right?" Darek was saying worriedly when she reopened her eyes and looked back up at him.

"Yes," Leia said hoarsely, then paused to clear her throat. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you. I, ah, I'll have to look into whether or not Luke talked to your office about this. May I call you back in a few days?"

Her mind was racing furiously with plans to confront this Viktor person, but Leia realized she needed to tread carefully. Force only knew where the fiend might have Luke hidden away and if they played their hand too soon, they might never find him.

"Of course. And again, I apologize for calling you at home, but something just didn't feel right about this."

"I appreciate it, Darek, and you needn't apologize at all."

"It's just...Luke was a very special person, and I...I felt honored just to know him. I know I sent you my official condolences, but I want to say it again. I am so sorry that he was taken from you so soon," Darek said sincerely, and Leia could see a sheen of tears in his eyes.

Leia felt tears gathering in her own eyes. "Thank you. Luke admired you quite a bit as well, you know. You're the only doctor he would go see willingly," she said with a wry grin.

"Hey, he did have taste, didn't he?" Darek joked and Leia smiled a bit wider.

"Yes, he absolutely did. I hate to cut you off, Darek, but I have company here and I really should get back to them."

"Oh, certainly, Princess, certainly! Again, I'm sorry to have interrupted you."

"No, that's quite all right, and I have a feeling that we will owe you a huge debt of gratitude very soon," Leia said, with a mysterious smile. She could see the small frown of confusion on his face at that statement, but she signed off before he could ask any more questions.

She sat in front of the comm unit for a moment, her heart racing as her mind took in the fact that this was what they'd been waiting for all along. Just as she was about to turn and get up to rejoin the others in the living room, an uncertain voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Leia? Are you all right? I felt the oddest surge in the Force from you," Mara said from the doorway.

Leia turned to look at her, unable to help the brilliant smile that crossed her face. "I know who has Luke."

A few minutes later, the formerly melancholy group had been transformed into a blur of action and excited plans. No one doubted Leia's intuitive knowledge of the identity of Luke's captor for a single moment. The only hesitation was precisely how they were going to discover Luke's exact whereabouts.

They quickly used some of the connections they had to find out the doctor's home address, but it was in one of Coruscant's most luxurious and exclusive apartment buildings.

"There's no way he has Luke there," Leia said. "He'd never have been able to get him in without someone seeing him."

"But what if he's got others on his payroll? He might have been able to convince people to look the other way," Wedge asked.

"Well, obviously the bastard has been going in to work every day like he's some kind of normal person or something. Our best bet might be just to follow him when he leaves the office tomorrow and see where he goes," Han suggested.

"And leave Luke in his clutches for another whole day?!" Mara shouted in horror.

Han sighed and looked at her sorrowfully. "Look, I don't like it any more than you do, but like Leia said, we have to be careful. We screw this up, and that piece of Hutt slime might kill Luke before we can get to him."

Mara lowered her head, trying to regain control of her emotions. She was a highly skilled stealth operative; she knew the danger in rushing into a mission too quickly, but now that they had an inkling where Luke was, Mara wanted him back and she wanted him back now.

"You're right, of course," she murmured as she raised her head back up. "But I want to be the one to do the stalking," she said grimly.

The others looked at her, not quite sure what to make of her choice of words, but then Han nodded slowly. "All right. You'd probably be the best at it anyway. We've got a lot of planning to do in the meantime, so we'd better get busy."

* * *

There was a long crack in the wall just above his cot and Luke would swear that it looked just like a map of the river Natalan back on Yavin IV. He spent many hours tracing it with his finger, trying to recall where the landmarks would be. It frustrated him that he could not remember any of them. 

He was finding it more and more difficult to focus his thoughts coherently for any long period of time. There were times he would 'zone out' and when he became aware again, he would have no idea how long he'd been that way. Once, when he'd tried to picture Mara's face in his mind, he'd panicked when he realized he couldn't exactly recall her features. Breathing harshly, he squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself to remember the curve of her lips, the arch of her brow, and the emerald of her eyes. The picture that finally came to him may not have been precisely correct, but it comforted him anyway.

He held on to his defenses for as long as he could, but under constant pressure, eventually even the strongest soul cracks. Luke's breaking point didn't come with a bang...it stole over him quietly, his desperation making him mumble the words he had sworn never to say.

He was strapped into restraints on the wall, his arms and legs stretched outwards just beyond the limits of pain. Viktor was standing in front of him, using the eopie herding prod to administer small shocks to his torso whenever his body tried to instinctively relax for just a moment. He was dazed and in torment and the words slipped past his lips before he could stop them. But by this point, he no longer cared. He just wanted the agony to cease.

"Please...stop...no more...I c-can't..." he moaned. "No more!"

Instantly, Viktor leered at him, his eyes gleaming with triumph. He leaned in close to his captive and said, "I'm sorry, what was that, Skywalker? I don't think I heard you correctly."

Luke looked back at him with glazed eyes and whispered, "Please...just let me die...let it end."

Viktor's low chuckle was an added shade to Luke's pain, but still all he wanted was for it to stop. Berdin's hand came up to cup his prisoner's cheek, stroking Luke's sweat-covered face. "Oh, I'm not ready for it to end just yet, Jedi. In fact, I think you're ready for the final game. This one is the most special one of all."

Luke tried to shake his head in protest, but Viktor's caressing hand on his cheek became an iron grip and there was a look of cruel victory on his face.

"No more games...just let me rest...I need...to rest," Luke pleaded wearily.

"I'm afraid there's no rest for the guilty, Skywalker," Viktor said with mock sympathy.

He let go of Luke's face and bent down to unlatch his feet from the restraints. Luke breathed a slow sigh of relief at the easing of his stretched muscles. It wasn't much of a relief, considering that everything on his body hurt, but it was a tiny comfort. His wrists followed and Luke collapsed onto Viktor, the bigger man hefting his weight around almost as one would a child.

Viktor dropped him face down onto the cot and Luke grunted as the impact sent jolts of pain through his tortured body. He closed his eyes, on the verge of unconsciousness, and he prayed silently that he would never wake up, so that he would not have to face this suffering any longer.

His eyes snapped back open with a jerk as he felt a heavy weight lower onto his back. Luke's senses reeled with fear and disgust as Viktor's hot breath brushed his ear. He wanted to push upwards, to throw the bastard off him, but he simply didn't have the strength. He could barely move with Viktor's body pressing him down onto the cot.

"This is always my favorite part, Jedi. I'll admit, it will be different, you being a man and all, but I think we can make it work, don't you?" Viktor whispered cruelly.

"No! No, don't!" he said, his voice trembling with dread. Frantically, he threw his head backwards, trying to slam Viktor's face with the only weapon he could think of right then. He managed to connect, but it didn't have much effect as Viktor just shrugged it off, then grabbed the back of Luke's neck in a punishing grip.

"What did I say about resisting me, Skywalker?" he hissed in Luke's ear. "It only brings you more pain."

The hand holding the back of his head suddenly pushed downwards, forcing Luke's face into the thin mattress of his cot, cutting off his air. For a few moments, Luke struggled vainly to push back against that pressure, as his thoughts grew hazy from lack of oxygen.

His fingers curled around the edges of the cot's rails as he fought to breathe, and then he heard a voice whispering in his mind. He was uncertain if it was his own subconscious or if it was some demon in his soul...

_Why are you fighting? Let go...give in...no more pain..._

No more pain. Wasn't that what he'd wanted, what he'd begged Viktor for? Luke relaxed, ceased his struggles, and reached out to welcome death.

As if sensing that his prisoner was about to escape him, Viktor instantly let go of his hold, and Luke's head came up, automatically gulping air into his burning lungs. His senses swirling in a haze of confusion, Luke wanted to cry out in frustration at being snatched back from the edge of his release from this anguish.

He was so distraught at coming so close to being free of Viktor that he barely noticed the rasp of a zipper from behind him and the waft of air on his suddenly exposed backside. Then there was a burning, tearing pain that shot up his spine, and Luke screamed helplessly.

_Oh, gods, no, NO!_ Luke cried silently as his mind finally comprehended exactly what was happening. He could hear Viktor's soft grunts in his ear, and the agony coursing throughout his body was unbearable.

This ultimate violation caused the small fracture in Luke's soul to widen, broadening rapidly in width and depth until something vital within him completely shattered. His body, rigid with shock, gradually slackened as his overwhelmed senses simply began to shut down.

A dull roaring in his ears replaced all sound in the room, growing louder and louder until it was all he could hear. Luke's limbs went numb, the lack of feeling creeping up his extremities, spreading over his entire frame to block out all other sensation. Like a tunnel collapsing in upon itself, his vision faded to black, mercifully shutting out the sight of this cell that he so despised.

* * *

Luke blinked, becoming aware again, and turned around to find himself alone in a fog of hazy whiteness. Viktor was nowhere in sight, and relief flowed over Luke like fresh water. He looked down and saw that he was wearing his Jedi blacks, and his body was clean and unmarred by Viktor's torture. 

Amazed, he stretched his hand out and then yanked it back sharply when he realized that he could actually _touch_ the white. In awe, he reached out again, marveling at the softness that surrounded him. It was like the snows of Hoth, without the bitter cold. He grabbed hold of it with both hands, pulling it around him, turning in circles as he wrapped himself in it like a cocoon.

With a contented sigh, Luke burrowed into the silky comfort that he'd surrounded himself with. A smile crossed his face as he closed his eyes. It had been so long since he'd smiled, truly smiled, he was surprised that the muscles in his face remembered how to do it.

"Safe..." he murmured to himself, knowing that Viktor could not find him here.

He vowed never to leave this haven again.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Lookie! Another chapter so soon! I am going to try and get this site caught up with where I am on the other sites I post, so I'll be updating pretty frequently for a few days here.**

**Finally, the moment you've all been waiting for! Lukie is rescued! But all is not well... (cue ominous music)**

* * *

Mara fell easily - perhaps a little too easily - into the mode of Emperor's Hand, stalking her target ruthlessly. Dr. Viktor Berdin never even realized she was there, shadowing him from the moment he'd stepped out of his office, gotten into a very fancy speeder, and slipped into one of the many lanes of traffic that flooded Coruscant. She wanted very badly to confront him, to force him to tell her where Luke was, so that she could rip the good doctor's life from him as she'd done so many times for the Emperor.

She tried to control that line of thinking, as she knew that it skated dangerously close to the Dark side, and she was a Jedi Knight now. Or she was going to be, once they got Luke back safe and sound and he could complete her training. But surely this disgusting being was more deserving of death than any of her past victims. Mara had tried not to imagine what Berdin might be putting Luke through, but it was difficult not to. She prayed that they were not too late - she didn't know what she'd do if the doctor had already...

_Best not to think about that, Mara! Focus on the mark!_

Her eyes narrowed as she slowed her own speeder, having observed Berdin pulling out of the lanes of traffic. Careful not to let him see her, she followed, speaking quietly into the comm attached to her ear.

"Target is exiting traffic lanes at Block 3700. I'm following."

"Copy. We're on our way to your location," Wedge's voice came back through the earpiece.

She was tracking Berdin by sight, and there was a homing beacon on her speeder, allowing the rest of Luke's friends and family to track her. This way, they avoided Berdin becoming suspicious of a fleet of vehicles suddenly haunting his trail.

"Wait for my signal to move in. We don't want to alert him too soon."

"Hey, we know what we're doing here, y'know," Han's insulted tone came through loud and clear.

"Just reminding you, Solo. It has been a while, hasn't it?" Mara said with a smirk.

Han snorted as he said, "Oh, yeah, like it was just yesterday for you, Jade."

"Can we cut the chatter, please? Honestly, how did you people get anything done during the Thrawn crisis?" Corran griped from his position.

"Shut up, CorSec," Han and Mara said at the same time.

Leia couldn't help the little smile that crossed her face at the air of anticipation that surrounded all of them. They knew that the mission could possibly be dangerous, but they were so ecstatic to finally be doing _something_, that they never even gave a thought to the idea that they would not be successful. Hence, the good mood.

She glanced at Han and her grin widened as he winked at her. He had tried half-heartedly to get her to stay at home with the kids, but she had vetoed that notion instantly. This was her twin they were going to rescue and Leia would not rest until she saw for herself that he was all right. Winter had agreed without hesitation to stay with Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin, knowing how important finding Luke was to her life-long friend.

"Target is exiting his vehicle," Mara's voice, immediately all business again, came over the comm. She recited an address and a rush of adrenaline went through Luke's friends and family as they all began to move in to what they hoped was his location.

Mara inhaled and exhaled in shallow breaths as she slunk from one shadow to another in the abandoned building in her pursuit of Viktor Berdin. Her commlink clicked in successive groups in her ear, the signal that the others had arrived. Mara quickly clicked back, never taking her eyes off her quarry.

The man was so focused, or either so arrogant, that he never even looked behind him once. A whisper of doubt threaded its way into Mara's mind. What if they were wrong? All they had was Leia's Force-intuition, which Mara certainly trusted but it wasn't foolproof, and the fact that Viktor had ordered a prosthetic hand similar to Luke's. Of course, it was also questionable why a well-to-do doctor was on one of the seediest levels of Coruscant.

If he was the one responsible for taking Luke away from her, Mara wanted nothing more than to put a well-placed blaster bolt between his eyes, but just in case she was wrong, she forcibly restrained herself from doing so. And even if she was right, she needed to make certain Luke was here before she killed that piece of Hutt slime.

The hallways of the building were filled with crates of various sizes, providing plenty of cover for her as Mara held up behind one to observe the doctor. She peered around one of them, watching as he paused in front of a door that had a utility droid sitting to the side. Silently, she drew her blaster from its holder, everything within her telling Mara that this was the moment they'd been waiting for for thirty-five days.

Berdin paused beside the droid, glanced down at it and said, "DX-14, give me an update on Skywalker's condition."

That was all Mara needed to hear. As she was moving forward, she was speaking rapidly into the commlink. "Confirmed! Everyone move in!"

Just as Luke had taught her, Mara let the Force flow through her as she rushed the doctor. He didn't even have the chance to turn around before she was tackling him to the ground. His face hit the floor and he grunted in surprise, his head half-turning to see his assailant, before Mara's blaster prevented him from doing so as she shoved it into the back of his neck.

"Don't move, don't breathe, or I _will_ kill you," she warned in a low growl. "Target is down and secured," she said into the commlink.

Within seconds, the hallway was flooded with Luke's rescuers. Han, Leia, Wedge, Corran, Lando, and Talon each stood, weapons drawn, glaring down at Viktor. He stared back at them defiantly, no fear in his eyes at having been caught in his scheme.

Mara looked up at them and said, "Hold him. I think Luke is in that room." She nodded towards the door behind her.

Wedge and Corran stepped forward, each of them taking hold of one of Viktor's arms and jerking him to his feet as Mara stepped away. The Corellian Jedi pulled out a pair of binders, yanked Viktor's arms together in front of his body and strapped them on the doctor's wrists.

Berdin was forgotten for the moment as everyone turned their attention to the closed door in front of them. Mara glanced at Leia, each of them taking strength from the other, before Luke's fiancé and his sister each took a deep breath and stepped up to the door. Mara palmed the activator and the door slid open. Immediately, her nose wrinkled at the stench of blood and sweat that permeated the air inside.

All thoughts of her own discomfort instantly vanished as Mara's gaze zeroed in on the single cot that was on the opposite side of the room, and the curled up form lying very still on top of it. A half-sob rose in her throat as she flew to him, Leia right beside her.

His hair was matted and filthy, his clothes torn and unwashed, his poor body grimy and covered in welts and massive bruises, but he was breathing. He was alive!

Their joy at finding Luke was tempered by apprehension a few moments later when they attempted to rouse him with no response. Leia shouted for Han, who was only a few steps behind them, as Mara called Luke's name, her hands cupping his face. Luke's eyes were half-open, but they were blank, no life in them whatsoever.

"Call a med-unit, Han," Leia was saying.

"Hell, Leia, I can get him to Manarai faster than they could get here," Han said matter-of-factly as he stepped around his wife to get a closer look at Luke. His expression was grim as he leaned down and put his hand on Luke's chest, as if to check for himself that Luke was indeed alive. "Damn, Kid," he muttered as his gaze took in the damage done to his friend's body.

"Lando! Give me a hand with him!" Han yelled and a second later, Calrissian was there, helping him lift Luke's unresisting form into a sitting position. He wasn't quite unconscious, as he was able to sit up on his own, but Luke was completely unaware of what was going on around him, his head drooping to one side. Mara and Leia hovered on either side of them, worrying without saying anything.

"There's no Force in this room," Corran blurted out suddenly from the doorway. Anxious to check on Luke's condition, he and Wedge had stepped into the room, still firmly holding their prisoner between them.

Mara started in shock as she realized Horn was right. Caught up in the emotion of having found her lover, she'd not noticed it at first. She looked over at her boss.

"Ysalamiri?" she asked him.

Talon shook his head. "I was never able to find any evidence of anyone bringing them here to Coruscant recently."

A snort from Berdin drew all their eyes to him. He stared back at them contemptuously. "You people have no imagination. A true genius doesn't need outside help and shortcuts to create his traps. He designs them himself."

Mara drew her blaster again and aimed it directly at his forehead, her eyes cold and unforgiving as she glared at him. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't end your miserable life right now," she snarled.

"I don't give a damn if you do, my dear. I was planning on killing Skywalker, but my revenge is complete anyway. He's so damaged that he'll never be normal again," Viktor sneered. His smile was chillingly evil. "In a way, that's almost better than him being dead."

"You don't know my brother very well, then, _Doctor_," Leia said, stressing his title scathingly. "He's survived far worse than you."

"If that hope makes you feel better, _Princess_," Viktor replied, his own disdain matching hers. "But I doubt it will give you any comfort when you have to put your dear brother in an institution that cares for beings who are merely empty shells, nothing left of their former selves but their pitiful names."

Mara's anger flared and she wanted to shoot him so badly that she could taste it, but she was a Jedi now. She had to think like a Jedi, and not an assassin. Instead, she stepped forward and punched him as hard as she could in the face. Berdin's head snapped backwards and he grunted with pain, before bringing his head back up to glare at her again.

_Okay, maybe that wasn't very Jedi-like either, but it was certainly satisfying_, Mara thought to herself.

"You got to it before I could, Jade," Han said wryly.

"Hey, take your turn, Solo. I'm sure the doctor deserves it," Mara said with disgust.

As she turned around to face Luke again, a blinking light high on the wall caught her eye. Narrowing her gaze, she glanced around the room, noting one on each wall, blinking in a steady rhythm. Going with her gut feeling, she raised her blaster and fired one bolt at each of the lights, destroying them one by one.

Mara, Leia, and Corran each inhaled sharply as the Force flooded back over them. Instinctively, Mara reached out towards Luke over their bond, and she could feel Leia doing the same. To their surprise and dismay, Luke's body stiffened and a low, eerie moan was torn from him as he jerked backwards on the bed away from Han and Lando's grasp, his hands coming up to grip the sides of his head, his face twisted in a pained grimace. His presence in the Force was near frantic with hurt, fear, and shock, and he was desperately pulling away from both of them.

It was too much for him, Mara realized. After being without the Force for so long, and with his body and mind in such a weakened state, his senses were overwhelmed at all the sensation suddenly being thrown on him at once. Before Mara could back off and advise Leia to do the same, Luke _pushed_ with the Force and shoved everyone away from him.

Bodies went flying haphazardly across the room. Unfortunately, the first one to gain his footing was Viktor Berdin…and he'd managed to grab someone's blaster in the process. There was a look of malicious glee on his face as he pointed the weapon at his former captive, intending to finish the job he'd begun.

"NO!" Leia and Mara screamed at the same time as they both tried to get to their feet.

The blaster was abruptly ripped from Viktor's hand before he could fire. It went flying across the room and landed squarely in Luke's grasp. Mara gasped to see him standing on his feet, and the expression on his face as he stared down his tormentor was filled with murderous hate, causing a cold chill to run down her spine.

"Viktor…" Luke said in a menacing growl.

For the first time, a glimmer of fear appeared in Berdin's eyes. Luke crushed the blaster in his bionic hand, dropping it to the floor with a clatter. He raised his hand again and pointed it at the doctor. Mara gasped as she felt a tremendous surge in the Force coming from Luke, directed straight at Viktor.

Berdin gasped and his bound hands raised up to clutch at his chest. His mouth opened wide and his eyes bulged out as he seemed to struggle for breath. A hoarse scream echoed around the room as his body began to tremble uncontrollably. The scream dwindled to a sickening gurgle as Viktor fell to his knees. A trickle of blood leaked out of his nose as his eyes began to roll backwards in his head. Finally, with a last agonized groan, his corpse fell to the floor.

Everyone in the room was frozen in disbelief at what they had seen, unable to even move for the shock of it. Luke didn't seem to notice them even now as he looked down at the dead man lying at his feet.

"Rot in hell, you bastard," he muttered to himself.

Luke closed his eyes as a violent shudder passed through his body, and when he opened them again, they were wild and confused. His gaze darted around the room, and yet he still didn't seem to recognize the fact that his family and friends were there, his glance passing over them as though he didn't even see them. Looking down at his hands, Luke's face went even paler than it already was and he began to tremble with fatigue and fear.

"What have I done?" he whispered, his voice thick with anguish. With shocking suddenness, Luke's knees folded and he crumpled silently to the floor.

That finally galvanized everyone in the room to action. Mara, Leia, and Han went instantly to Luke's side, while the others went to check on Berdin's body. Luke was truly unconscious this time and Mara worriedly checked his breathing and his pulse, both of which were steady, but weak.

"We need to get him to a doctor _now_," Leia said.

"Right, no more wasted time," Han murmured, and he leaned down to sweep Luke up into his arms, not willing to wait for anyone's assistance. His brother-in-law had never been a big man to begin with, but now his weight felt far too light in Han's arms. He glanced over to Lando, Corran, Wedge and Talon. "We're taking him to Manarai Medical Center. You guys deal with that," he said as he nodded towards what was left of Viktor, "and meet us there as soon as you can."

"We'll take care of it," Wedge said, his eyes still on his friend's limp form. Wedge didn't want to think about what Luke might have endured in this room, and it was all his fault…

Han, Leia, and Mara took off from the room at a swift pace, and Wedge could see Mara talking into her commlink again, no doubt calling Manarai and warning them that they were on their way with a critical patient. With a sigh, Wedge pulled out his own commlink and made a call to New Republic Security.

* * *

Dr. Darek Mondahl apologized to Leia Organa-Solo for what had to be the twentieth time. And like the nineteen times before, the Princess-turned-leader of the New Republic brushed aside his words and insisted on thanking him instead. 

"If you hadn't found that small discrepancy in your records, Darek, we never would have found him. Berdin would have eventually killed him and we would never have known the truth of what happened."

"But if I hadn't been so blind to what Viktor was, then Luke would never have been in this situation to begin with," Darek protested as he gestured to the bacta tank that held Luke's still unconscious form. "I'm surprised that you even bothered to call me," he said morosely, obviously feeling heavy with guilt.

Leia sighed. "Of course we called you. You're Luke's doctor. Darek, listen to me," she said, dragging her eyes away from her brother and looking at the man she considered a dear friend. Reluctantly, he met her gaze.

"Viktor Berdin hated Luke Skywalker. Why, we have no idea, but his hatred must have been powerful for him to have done something so vile and evil. If it hadn't been through your office, he would have found another way to hurt my brother. You must stop blaming yourself. If it weren't for you, Luke would be dead now, because we were getting nowhere in our search for him. If you hadn't called when you did, we probably never would have found him at all, much less before Viktor killed him. I fully believe that."

Leia repressed the shudder of fear that went through her at the thought of how close they had come to losing Luke for real. She recalled the paralyzing grief that had swept over her before and knew she never wanted to experience that again.

Reaching out, she took Darek's hand, giving him an intense stare and imploring him silently to accept her words. Finally, he nodded slowly and Leia could see a little of the guilt roll off him. She smiled at him, grateful that she could ease his burden a bit, before turning her attention back to the bacta tank.

The thick goop that her twin so hated was helping to heal his body - although some of the scars were too deep to ever be erased - but Leia feared that it might take something like a miracle to help heal his mind. Luke had been unconscious ever since the moment he'd collapsed in his former cell, and neither Leia nor Mara had been able to contact him via the Force. They were hesitant to push too hard, fearful of causing him to withdraw even deeper into himself.

Her gaze shifted over to Mara Jade, sitting in a chair right beside the bacta tank. One hand was on the thick transparisteel separating her from her lover, and the other was absently fiddling with the ring she wore on a chain around her neck, her eyes never leaving Luke's face. She hadn't moved from that spot in hours, and Leia had long since given up on trying to get her to take a break. Not that she'd had much of one herself.

"Any change, sweetheart?" Han asked quietly as he came up and wrapped his arm around her waist.

Leia turned her head to meet his soft kiss. "No, but the doctors say they'll be able to remove him from the bacta in another couple of hours. What's it like outside?" she asked.

"Insane, what else did you expect? I knew we wouldn't be able to keep this quiet, but I'd hoped we'd have a little while longer before the media explosion hit," Han replied with a sour expression. "The NRS is doing a pretty good job of running interference though. They caught one holoshill halfway up to this floor in the stairwell. He was wearing a doctor's coat," he snorted.

Leia shook her head in disbelief at the lengths some people would go to just to get a glimpse of the Jedi Master. What frightened her was the thought that there were more people like Viktor Berdin out there, who wanted to do more than just get a glimpse of Luke. _How could anyone ever want to hurt such a gentle soul as Luke Skywalker?_ Leia wondered.

And yet, even as the thought formed in her mind, she remembered the frightening look on his face as he'd killed his captor, and how his presence in the Force at that moment had been undeniably Dark…

_No, I won't let him fall to the Dark_, Leia vowed quietly to herself. _I brought him back once before. If necessary, I will bring him back again! _And this time, he had Mara…surely, her presence would be enough to keep Luke on the Light side, and perhaps help him to recover from this devastation.

Even though she knew he wouldn't respond, Leia sent a wave of love and reassurance to Luke over their Force bond.

**Whatever it takes, little brother. We'll do whatever it takes to help you heal, I promise you!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Still trying to get ff dot net caught up to the other places I'm posting, so I can do all the final chapters at one time! This will have 31 chapters and an epilogue and I'm working on the last chapter right now. Thanks to all of you for your patience...and your kind reviews!**

**More angsting here, as Luke struggles to deal with what's happened, and a visit from a certain former Dark Lord of the Sith!**

* * *

Luke's pristine white refuge was marred with fierce dark shadows that pulsed over and around him, taunting him with their ability to sneak past his meager defenses. He could still hear Viktor's mocking laughter ringing in his mind. Nothing he did would block the noise out. He covered his head with his arms, squeezing them tight around his ears, to no avail.

He tried screaming at Viktor to shut up, but the laughter continued to thrum through his eardrums, completely unaffected by his attempts to drown it out. The worst part of the ordeal was that Luke knew it was his own fault. He had been the one to touch the Dark side of the Force, crushing Viktor's life in revenge for Berdin having crushed Luke's soul.

The guilt of his actions weighed heavily on him, along with the fear that he was doomed to repeat the mistakes of Byss. Having the Force again was no comfort under these circumstances, and Luke could feel the Dark side nipping at his wounds, just looking for the tiniest entrance into his heart. It would consume him then, he knew it.

Luke could hear Leia and Mara tentatively reaching for him, but he cringed away from their calls, ashamed of what he'd done and what Viktor had done to him. He was flawed and dirty, unworthy of their love. Anxiously, Luke tried time and again to bury himself once more in the whiteness of his shelter, but his sanctuary had been forever despoiled.

To his horror, Luke could feel hands grabbing at him, trying to pull him away from what little peace his haven did give him. _No, Viktor! I won't let you hurt me anymore!_ he thought to himself as he began to panic. Unconsciously, Luke started to reach out to the Force to help him, to drive Viktor away. But then he recoiled from it, remembering that he was undeserving of using that power anymore...he was polluted with the Dark side.

So Luke resorted to fighting back physically, thrashing his body back and forth, striking out with his arms and legs, determined that he would get the monster away from him. He was screaming, screaming at the top of his lungs, fighting desperately for his life, when he felt something sharp pierce his neck.

The screams somehow mutated into sobs as lethargy slowly crept over his limbs and Luke knew that he'd been drugged. Then, blissfully, he knew nothing more.

* * *

They were standing in Luke's room, quietly discussing with the doctor what they could possibly do to help Luke now that he was out of the bacta tank, when agitated mumblings began to come from the patient lying so still in the bed. As they turned to look in surprise, Luke's arms jerked upwards to wrap around his head and he began to moan the words 'shut up, shut up' over and over again. 

Obviously thinking to comfort him, Mara put her hands on his arm, trying to pull it away from his head. They were all shocked when he flung his arm out violently, causing Mara to stumble backwards a step or two in surprise. Luke's distress increased instantly as he began to twist and writhe on the bed, his murmurings becoming louder.

Han and Wedge moved forward, attempting to grab his arms and still his movements, worried that he was going to harm himself somehow. Immediately, Luke's motions became frenzied, as he began to scream, fighting them for all he was worth. They tried to call out to him, begging him to calm down, promising that he was safe and they weren't going to hurt him, but he was oblivious to their words.

"Doctor Ansel! Do something, please!" Leia shouted.

The Manarai Medical Center physician who'd been given charge of Luke's case was already moving when she yelled at him, but the Chief-of-State urging him to action did make the man move faster. He summoned a med-tech with the call button beside Luke's bed, shouting for them to bring the strongest sedative they could find.

Luke was cursing them at the top of his lungs, interspersed with agonized screams that tore at their hearts. Finally, the med-tech was able to slip in beside Han and inject the hypospray into Luke's neck. Immediately, he gasped, trying to arch away from them, but Han and Wedge held him firmly. Gradually, his thrashing quieted as the sedative began its work. Luke's screams died down to ragged sobs, until at last, with a heavy sigh, he surrendered to the drug-induced sleep.

Han and Wedge fell backwards away from Luke's bed, gasping from the effort of trying to hold him down so the med-tech could give him the sedative. Mara and Leia moved to stand on either side of the head of Luke's bed, exchanging worried looks as they each touched one of his cheeks, now that he had finally ceased his struggles.

Mara leaned down to softly kiss his lips, unknowingly making the same silent vow that her would-be sister-in-law had made, sending it to her lover through the Force.

**Whatever that bastard did to you, Luke, we'll make it right. I promise you that!**

There wasn't much progress in Luke's condition over the next two weeks as each day fell into the same pattern. Every time he was touched or they attempted to cajole a response out of him, he went mad; screaming and fighting until they were all exhausted and they invariably wound up giving him another dose of sedatives to calm him down.

A couple of times, Leia and Mara had been able to reach Luke – barely feeling a flicker of his presence in the Force – and pacify him, but he still would not communicate, either verbally or through the Force. To Leia's horror, one of the doctors made a hesitant suggestion about institutionalizing him. Two seconds later, with Mara's blaster in his cheek, he thought better of the idea.

Luke was beginning to look a little like his old self, thanks to a haircut, a good washing, and clean hospital clothes. He was gaining a little color back in his cheeks from the nutrient IV in his arm, although they had to do these things while he was sedated or it would have been virtually impossible to accomplish. Unfortunately, he seemed to be as far away from them now as he had been when he was Viktor's prisoner.

* * *

Luke's safe haven was utterly ravaged, his entire existence in turmoil as Viktor's presence haunted him every second of every day. No matter how hard he tried to block them out, the grasping hands and harrying voices were always with him. He fought and fought, but it seemed he could never escape them. 

Luke desperately searched for some way out of this hell – it was nearly as bad as being back in Viktor's clutches in that cramped little room. The Force itself appeared to mock him, taunting him with a goodness and Light that stayed forever out of reach. He began to wonder if he could somehow end his own life while he was trapped in this blankness. Luke could sometimes vaguely sense Mara and Leia near him, but he shied away from them, their purity in the Force almost hurting him.

"Luke…"

The voice was unexpected and unfamiliar. Panicking, Luke tried to hide from it, wondering what new torment Viktor's ghost was about to inflict on him. But it wasn't Viktor's ghost he saw when he gained the courage to peek over his shoulder towards the presence he could feel behind him.

Luke gasped and stood up straight as he turned to gaze at the apparition before him. There stood a tall, handsome man, his dark blond hair glinting with golden highlights despite the gloominess of Luke's sanctuary. He was wearing Jedi robes, and there was a gentle smile on his face as he looked back at Luke. Deep blue eyes, so very like his own, were filled with kindness and sympathy… and love.

"Father…?" Luke whispered in disbelief.

"Oh, my son," Anakin said, his heartache over Luke's situation evident in his face. He reached a hand out towards Luke, taking a step forward at the same time.

Luke cringed away from Anakin, feeling ashamed to even meet his father's stare.

"How can you bear to look at me?" he asked, dejectedly.

"Because you're my son, and I love you," Anakin said quietly.

"But, Viktor…he…" Luke wrapped his arms around himself, hunching his shoulders in as his head dropped even more. "And then I used the Force…to kill him, I mean."

Anakin glided up to Luke and gently, but firmly, pulled his arms down, then looked him right in the eye. "Luke, if I'd been able to, after seeing everything he did to you, I might have used the Force to kill him myself."

Luke became aware of a severe wave of displeasure humming around them then, and to his surprise, Anakin looked off to the left and frowned.

"Well, I would have! You butt out, old man."

Luke looked up at his father with startled eyes. "Is that Obi-Wan? Can he see us now? Does he know what happened, too?" he asked, his voice rising as he became rattled.

Anakin cupped Luke's face in his hands, wiping his son's fevered brow with his thumbs. "Hush, young one. It's all right. Obi-Wan and Yoda are worried about you as I am. They wanted to come with me to talk to you-"

"But-" Luke started to protest.

"However," Anakin interrupted, "if you don't want them to hear us talking, they'll give us privacy. I wasn't much of a father to you when we were on the same plane, so I thought it would be the least I could do to be your father now."

"I would rather they didn't hear us," Luke mumbled.

"Then they won't," Anakin said with an encouraging smile. He lowered his hands from Luke's face to brace his right elbow in his left hand, so that he could tap a finger of his right hand on his chin in a classic 'I'm listening' pose. "Now why don't you tell me about this place you've created."

Luke's face darkened into a scowl again. "I don't really want to."

"Luke, I can't help you if you won't talk to me."

"I used the Dark side to kill Viktor," Luke blurted out. "And I know that was wrong!"

Anakin sighed. "One slip-up in a dozen years does not mean you're falling to the Dark side, son. And it's not like the man didn't deserve it."

"Have you forgotten Byss? I 'slipped up' pretty good there, too," Luke said with a trace of bitterness in his voice.

"No, I haven't forgotten that. But you returned to the Light, did you not?"

"Yes, but you don't understand, Father-"

"Excuse me? You do recall who you're talking to, don't you?" Anakin said with a raised eyebrow. "Formerly Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith? I think I know a thing or two about the Dark side, and trust me, Luke, you're about as far from there as you can be."

"But I-"

Anakin put a finger on Luke's lips, stilling his protests once again. "Young one, I know you are in great pain. The horrible things that man did to you defy description, and yet…you survived it."

Anakin's voice and stare became intense, holding Luke's attention despite his desire to hide away from the terrible truths his father was telling. His hands moved to grip Luke by the shoulders, giving him a little shake for emphasis.

"You are stronger than anyone I have ever known. Who else would look at a Sith Lord and see something there worth saving? You can heal from this, son, I know you can."

"But it's so _hard_," Luke whispered in despair. "And if I go back out there, it's only going to be harder. It hurts so much."

"I know. I know it does. But you're wrong. It will be easier out there, with your sister and your family and friends. They all love you and want to help you. Even that smuggler your sister married," Anakin said, a bit of exasperation showing in his voice. Then a sly grin crept over his face. "And I've been keeping an eye on you and the former Emperor's Hand. Seems like you've gotten pretty close with her, hmm?"

Anakin had probably intended that remark to tease his son into a smile, but the very idea of Mara finding out what Viktor had done to him horrified Luke beyond imagining. The thought of being intimate with Mara while Viktor's taint was still on him caused Luke's stomach to clench in fear.

"I can't let them know what he did to me, Father. I can't!" he cried, as his frame tensed with anxiety.

"Why, Luke? What happened to you was not your fault. You have nothing to be ashamed of," Anakin reminded him in a stern voice.

"I just don't want them to know!" Luke shouted, his agitation increasing.

With a grumble of irritation, Anakin pulled Luke into a tight embrace. For a second, Luke stiffened, the close contact causing memories of Viktor's body smothering his own to come swirling up in his mind. Then he felt the love and affection and concern that his father was sending him through the Force, and Luke gradually relaxed, cautiously accepting the comfort that Anakin longed to give him.

It had been so long since he'd been touched in a loving way by another person, Luke was overwhelmed. Tears began to well up in his eyes and before he knew it, he was sobbing into his father's chest. Anakin didn't seem to mind the sodden state of his tunic, as he just murmured quiet words of encouragement to his son, stroking the back of his head tenderly.

Eventually, the fierce storm of Luke's emotions abated slightly and he stepped backwards out of his father's hold, wiping his eyes self-consciously.

"Sorry about that," he muttered.

"Again, you have nothing to be sorry for, young one. Please, wake up and let your sister help you," Anakin said quietly, but no less intently than he had before.

"I want to, but..." Luke dropped his gaze in shame. "But I'm afraid."

"There's no shame in being afraid, Luke. Do you think I wasn't afraid to take that step towards Palpatine on the Death Star? Do you think I wasn't terrified even as I lifted him over my head to save you? A Jedi faces his fears, son, he doesn't run from them."

"I don't feel very much like a Jedi right now," Luke said quietly.

"And you won't as long as you continue to hide here," Anakin replied sternly.

"Can't I...come with you, then? I don't want to go back there, Father. I miss you and Ben and Yoda."

Anakin let out a harsh breath. "Oh, Luke, don't ask that of me. You have no idea how much I'd love for you to be able to join me. How I've longed to be able to talk with you and spend time with you." He shook his head sadly. "But this is not your time. You have much left to accomplish in the living world, and it would be incredibly selfish of me to take you away from that. Obi-Wan is still trying to pound the selfishness out of his arrogant padawan, you know," Anakin said with a wry grin. "I have to let the old man have his way about some things, after all."

In spite of his pain, a tiny smile quirked the edge of Luke's mouth at his father's words. He took a deep breath, gazing around at the sanctuary he'd created, knowing that Anakin was right, that he'd have to leave this place, but hoping to put it off a little while longer.

Anakin reached out to grab his shoulder in a firm, reassuring grip. "You won't have to do it alone, Luke. Your family and friends are there to help you. And Yoda, Obi-Wan, and I will always be watching over you."

"Thank you, Father," Luke said softly as he placed his hand on top of the one resting so warmly on his shoulder.

Reluctantly, Anakin pulled his hand away and took a step backwards. Luke could see him start to fade within the hazy whiteness of his shelter, and knew a pang of regret that he couldn't simply follow his father to wherever his spirit resided within the Force. It would be so much easier...

"I love you, Son..." Anakin's voice faded into a whisper, as the rest of him faded away.

"I love you, too, Father."

And Luke knew it was time to wake up.

* * *

Leia bustled nervously around Luke's bedside, adjusting his covers or fluffing his pillow, trying to withstand the urge to caress his face. That would undoubtedly only cause one of the fits again, and for once, he was resting semi-peacefully without the aid of the sedatives. Every now and then, his face would crease into a frown, and Leia could see his lips moving slightly, as though he were mumbling something, but she couldn't make out any actual words. 

Leia closed her eyes, offering up a silent prayer that her twin could recover and she would be able to look into his shining blue eyes once more. Unable to resist touching him any longer, she reached a hand out and brushed a lock of his hair that had fallen into his eyes back away from his face. He twitched, his head jerking away from her touch, and Leia let her hand fall back to her side with a sigh.

"Oh, Luke..." she whispered. She only gave in to her tears when no one else was in Luke's room with her, and now happened to be one of those times. She, Han, and Mara had begun taking shifts so that one of them could be with Luke at all times, and different friends, fellow Jedi, and former wingmen would drop in at various points during the day.

Her entire being ached in sympathetic agony at the pain her twin was enduring. It was at moments like this, when it was quiet in the medcenter because it was so early in the morning, that her composure cracked, and she sobbed with the injustice of the terrible things that Viktor had done to her beloved brother. Even knowing that it was not a Jedi way to feel, she was glad that Luke had killed that disgusting creature.

And yet, a part of her was worried about how what he'd done would affect Luke when he finally decided to join them in the real world once more. He had basically used the Force to crush Viktor's heart, causing it to burst within his chest. The doctors that had performed the autopsy had informed them of this in trembling voices, both in awe at, and somewhat frightened of, the power Luke wielded.

Leia remembered Luke's anguished voice in his prison cell as he'd looked down at his hands and wondered what he had done. He had always been so careful to control his impulses and his anger, especially after Byss, and Leia could only imagine the horror that Luke's actions would cause him once he became himself fully again.

_If that ever happens..._ Leia sighed. He had been in this traumatized state now for almost three weeks and so far, nothing they'd tried had been able to reach him. Indeed, most of their efforts seemed to make him worse, not better.

She took a deep breath, firmly attempting to shake off these negative thoughts. At least he was alive. Leia tried to remind herself of that whenever these crying bouts would sneak up on her. Before that comm call from Darek Mondahl, Leia had been mentally preparing herself to find a body...or to accept the fact that they would probably never find him at all. They would never have stopped looking, but the fact remained that were blessed by the Force that Luke was here with them now.

"Whatever it takes, how ever long it takes, I promise you, Luke," she vowed quietly, as she had so many times over the last three weeks. "I will do everything in my power to make you better, little brother."

She bowed her head as her eyes slid closed, and Leia prayed to as many deities as she could think of to help her brother find his way back to them.

"Who says you're older?"

The words were faint, barely audible, and sounded so weary that for a moment, it didn't even sound like _him_. Leia's eyes flew open in shock and she gaped down at Luke to see him staring back at her. One corner of his mouth trembled slightly in what Leia thought might be an attempt at a smile, and then she was throwing herself at him, sobbing with joy this time as she exclaimed his name over and over again.

The breath left him in a little _oof_, but she scarcely noticed in her amazement and utter elation. She was hiccupping she was talking so fast, telling him how much she'd missed him, how happy she was to see him awake, that it took a moment for her to notice the grimace on his face. And still it took him shouting her name harshly for her to pause in her celebration.

"Leia!"

Startled, she stared down at Luke in bewilderment as he raised one hand to rub his forehead, his brow creased with what seemed like pain.

"Too much. Please, calm down. You're hurting my head," he whispered. It was almost as though he'd somehow forgotten how to control the intensity of the emotions he felt from others through the Force. Hopefully, that was a skill he'd remember again quickly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said rapidly. "I'm just so happy that you're awake."

"It's all right. Just give me a little space, okay?" he murmured. He squinted in confusion as he took a closer look at her. "Your hair..." he said softly in disbelief.

Leia's cheeks colored slightly in embarrassment as she reached one hand up to twine a curl of her shortened tresses around her finger. She ducked her head as she attempted to explain what she'd done in a low voice.

"I was not quite myself when I heard about what happened. Or what I thought had happened."

"My death, you mean," he said flatly.

"Yes," she said quietly. "It felt like a part of me was ripped away, Luke. I could hardly bear it, and if it hadn't been for Han... Well, I don't know what I would have done."

"I'm sorry," he said in a hoarse voice. "To have caused you such pain is the last thing I ever would have wanted."

She raised her head back up and gave him a fierce look. "I do not ever want to hear you apologize about this again, Luke Skywalker. You did nothing wrong."

Luke swallowed as he looked away from her, his fingers plucking nervously at the sheet of his bed.

"Viktor...he's dead, isn't he?" Luke asked in a faint voice.

Leia wasn't certain if he was afraid Viktor wasn't really dead, or feeling guilty because he'd killed the man. She reached out to take his hand and tried not to notice when he tensed at her touch.

"He is. But I don't want you to think about that anymore for right now," she said soothingly. "Han and Mara are going to want to know you're awake. Would you like me to call them?"

"I don't...I'm not sure I'm ready to face her...them," Luke said, his hand clenching hers tightly.

He still refused to meet Leia's eyes and she worried what he meant by saying 'her' first. She lifted her other hand and softly caressed his cheek. Again, he flinched and she pretended not to see it.

"Luke, I will keep everyone out of this room, including myself, if that's what you want. I want you to heal, and if that's what you need to do to heal, then that's what will happen," she vowed.

Keeping his head bowed, Luke mumbled something. Leia couldn't understand what he had said.

"I didn't catch that," she prompted gently.

He finally looked up at her then, and the pain and fear in his eyes tore at Leia's heart.

"I said, am I going to be arrested?"

She stared at him in shock. "Arrested? For what?"

"For killing Viktor," he said quietly.

Leia looked at him in stunned disbelief. "No!" she said loudly, and then controlled her tone of voice when he visibly flinched. "No, you're not going to be arrested. Luke, he was aiming a blaster at you. It was self-defense."

Luke gave a bitter little laugh. "Leia, I know what I did. Self-defense ended when I took the blaster away from him. After that, it was murder."

Leia gave a sigh of frustration at her brother's stubbornness. But, hadn't she known he would do this? That he would take all the blame on himself? That was so like her twin, always taking on more responsibility than he needed or deserved.

"The NRS thoroughly searched Berdin's apartments. They uncovered a datapad filled with information about other people he killed, other people that he tortured. Luke, he's been doing this for nearly twenty years. They haven't even gotten all the way through the datapad and they've already got a tally of fourteen victims, not counting you."

He gave her a startled look, an expression of dread in his eyes. "Did it say anything about me?" he asked fearfully.

"Not that they've found so far. What they can't figure out is why he took you. All of his prior victims were young, female humans."

A wave of what looked like relief flooded over his face as Luke dropped his eyes to the bedsheets once again. "I killed his father," he said, almost absently.

"What?" Leia asked, her eyes widening. "Is that what he thought? You would never do something like-" she broke off abruptly, both of them recalling that he had done something like that, many times during the rebellion and, ominously, just a few weeks ago.

"His father was on the Death Star," Luke said quietly.

For once in her life, Leia didn't know what to say, had no idea how to comfort him. She knew that Luke had struggled for a long time with the consequences of his actions on that long ago day, but he'd eventually found some measure of peace with it. And now, to have it come back to haunt him in such a terrible and terrifying way...

"Oh, Luke," she said tenderly, her hand reaching up again to softly caress the back of his neck.

"I'm feeling really tired, Leia. Would you mind leaving me alone so I can rest?" he said dully.

Leia's frown deepened as she stared at her brother. She heaved a sigh and reminded herself that she had sworn to do anything to help him recover from this ordeal. If that included giving him time and space, then she would do so, no matter how much it pained her to see him hurting so badly.

_Just a little time, that's all he needs, and then we can help him start to get past this_, she said to herself.

"All right, you get some rest. I'll be back later," she said and moved towards the door of his room. She glanced back over her shoulder and saw that he had already turned to lie on his side, facing away from her, his body curled tightly into a semi-fetal position.

She couldn't help but think that they had a very long road ahead of them.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: I know y'all are tired of hearing the excuses by now, so I'm not giving any...except to say that I took the state exam to get my certification for Medical Assistant yesterday, and YAY I'm glad that's over with.**

**Okay, so Luke is struggling to deal with everything that's happened to him, and his friends and family are doing nothing but making things worse in their well-meaning attempts to help. In trying to deal with all the insanity, Luke makes a very rash decision.**

* * *

Several days later, Luke's friends and family were trying their damnedest to contain their frustration. On one level, they realized the scope of the ordeal that Luke had been through and they'd known that he wasn't going to wake up and suddenly be the old Luke that they had all loved. But on another level, they were stumped at how to help someone who apparently didn't want to be helped.

Luke had wanted to follow the advice his father had given when Anakin had come to him in his dream-like state, but the moment he'd opened his eyes, his fears had paralyzed him. He couldn't imagine telling Leia, Han, or Force forbid, Mara, about how deeply and cruelly Viktor had violated him. Luke wanted to forget the entire thing had ever happened, but everyone insisted on 'talking him through it'. That was what they all said, as though a few words would somehow make everything better.

_'Talk to me, Luke.'_

_'Let me help you, Luke.'_

_'We only want to help you get better, Luke.'_

They were smothering him, driving him insane. He wanted to ask Leia what had happened to her promise to keep everyone, even herself, away if that's what he needed. But he should have known she'd never be able to keep her word on something like that. She'd been far too involved in her 'little' brother's life for too long to try and do any such thing.

Funnily enough - and it had been the one time that a smile had almost crossed his face - she actually had tried to keep Mara out the first time she'd come to see him. The two women had stood at the doorway, staring each other down, fire blazing out of both of their eyes. Fearing that one of them was about to go for a weapon, Luke had wearily called out to Leia that Mara could enter.

He knew that his response to her disappointed Mara. Luke could see it in her face, as well as feeling it through the Force...well, the little that he would allow himself to touch the Force these days. It was still entirely too painful to deal with all those emotions, and a tiny part of him still feared the Dark side despite his father's promise that he was still Light.

He wasn't outright rude to her, but he was cool and distant, and he could tell that she didn't understand. Mara was always one to hide her hurt, but Luke could see it, and it only strengthened his resolve to stay away from her. He wasn't worthy of her, not anymore. If he was a stronger man, he'd try and find the words to tell her that their relationship was over, but he found he couldn't even do that much.

So, he did the only thing that he could think of to do, the thing that had saved his sanity when he was in Viktor's hell. Luke withdrew into himself again, not as far as he had been in his 'sanctuary', but far enough that they couldn't reach him. He responded to questions and comments, if at all, with a grunt or a nod.

Most of his days were spent brooding and staring out the window of his hospital room, since the doctors wouldn't let him go home until they were reassured about his physical health. He'd lost a lot of weight and he tired easily, his body still occasionally aching from the results of Viktor's torture.

Mara and Leia had both hesitantly suggested he enter a Jedi healing trance, but Luke had sharply refused to do so, as that was deeper into the Force than he wanted to go right now.

Luke half-hoped that Mara would be the one to finally get her fill of his moodiness, so her famous temper would explode and she'd storm off and leave him. She deserved better than the pitiful remains of Luke Skywalker that he could offer her. Surprisingly, though, it wasn't the fiery redhead that lost her temper with him first, it was his sarcastic brother-in-law.

They were sitting at the small table in Luke's room and Han had been attempting to talk to him, even though Luke could tell his lack of response was trying the Corellian's patience. Han wasn't exactly known for his patience anyway.

"Ya know, Kid, maybe you could just let me know when you're gonna get over this little fit of selfishness you're showin' and I could come back then," Han suddenly snapped at him.

Luke turned to scowl at him. "It's being selfish to simply want to be left alone?" he asked coldly.

"Yes, it is! You went through hell, and I understand that, but we went through hell, too, thinkin' you were dead. Leia..." he paused for a moment, visibly trying to calm himself. "She locked herself in our room for an entire day. I thought I'd have to break the door down, and I was scared I might not find her still breathing in there. Mara broke down at the funeral. I've never seen her cry and she didn't just cry, Luke, she completely lost it. Wedge is killing himself with guilt, thinkin' that this is all his fault."

Luke didn't say anything, and Han abruptly stood, the chair he'd been sitting in falling sharply to the floor, to pace around the room in frustration. "I mean, stang it, Luke! I held your bleeding body in my kriffing arms! I gave you CPR until Wedge and Corran had to tell me it was too late, that you were gone, that my best friend was _dead!_ Do you have any idea how that felt?!"

Luke glared at him fiercely, his fingers gripping the edge of the small table. With shocking suddenness, he stood as well, throwing the table towards the wall where it smashed with a loud clatter. He faced Han, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, seething with anger.

"Do I know how it felt?" he asked, his voice a mocking sneer. "As a matter of fact, I do. Because Viktor showed me as part of his little _game_. I had to watch you all at my 'funeral' and even without the Force, I could feel your pain. But the worst part was...I knew that meant no one was looking for me."

"But we were, Luke! We realized within days that the body we found wasn't you. We looked for weeks, following every tiny clue, every little whisper."

Han's choice of words unintentionally reminded Luke of everything he'd lost, and how far it was out of his reach now. He turned away from Han, his head lowering in pain.

"You didn't come soon enough," he said in a low voice.

"Aw, Kid..." Han groaned. "I'm sorry. We did everything we could to find you."

Luke shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut tightly against the memories that were threatening to swarm his mind. And he knew then. He couldn't stay here any longer, not in this hospital, not on this planet.

"But it wasn't enough," Luke said too softly for Han to hear. He gained enough control of his emotions to turn and look at his brother-in-law once again. "I need to have some time alone, if you don't mind, Han," he said, his expression carefully blank.

Han simply stared at him for a long moment, and Luke could read the frustration in his eyes. He knew they only wanted to help, but it was no use...he couldn't bear the thought of dealing with all this heartache for one more day. Finally, the Corellian gave a small nod and turned to leave. He paused at the doorway to Luke's hospital room.

"You know we'll do anything you need us to do, Kid. Anything. Just remember that."

Luke nodded slightly and Han gave a sigh as he left the room, closing the door behind him.

"Even leave me alone to deal with this my own way?" Luke whispered sadly to the empty room. Somehow, he doubted it.

* * *

He waited a couple of days until the perfect time. Leia was tied up in meetings, Han had taken the children to the Coruscant Zoo, and Mara - back working part time for Karrde now - was temporarily off planet. Most of his other friends only came to see him sporadically these days, so he didn't have to worry about them either. 

Luke called a male nurse into his room, mindtricked him into changing clothes with him and left the dazed young man sitting on his bed. He felt somewhat guilty about that, wondering if that was still the Dark side with its clutches into him, but he decided to just look at it as a necessary task, if an unpleasant one.

Clad in the young man's hospital attire, Luke walked casually out of the Manarai Medical Center. Plans had already begun forming in his head, and the first thing he had to do was stop by his apartment. Then one other stop, and he would leave this place, headed for... Well, he wasn't sure yet, but it would be somewhere far away from here.

Once at his apartment, Luke swiftly changed into plain trousers, boots, and tunic. He paused at seeing his lightsaber still sitting on his workbench, the inner workings of it strewn out over the surface. He supposed no one had wanted to tinker with the device, perhaps worrying that they might mess it up. A Jedi's saber was a personal thing, no two of them designed exactly alike, although there were obvious similarities.

Hesitating only a moment, Luke picked up the weapon, wrapped it in a piece of cloth to protect the delicate wires, and placed it into the small travel bag he was packing. Walking over to his comm, he sighed as he sat down, knowing that he was about to place a call he'd never thought he'd have to.

His father's personal lawyer was a quiet man, his work for the Dark Lord having gone completely unnoticed by anyone in the Empire or in the New Republic. Luke himself only knew of Silas Larin because the man had contacted him a few months after the events of Endor. Apparently Vader had been quite wealthy and had left everything to his son. Luke had been stunned, but had refused in all these years to touch any of his father's bequest.

Things were different now, though. He would need credits, and he would need them to be untraceable by his family and friends. Silas didn't seem a bit surprised to hear from him, not even commenting on his client's miraculous return from the dead as he made notes of what Luke wanted him to do.

After Luke disconnected the call, he sat in silence for a long moment, grateful now that he hadn't ever told Leia about the money their father had left him. At the time, his reasoning had been that she was still sensitive about anything having to do with her parentage. Later, it had actually slipped his mind for a while, but now it worked well for Luke in that she wouldn't be able to contact Silas and demand to know what was going on.

Two hours later, Luke met Silas in an out of the way docking bay, where the lawyer handed over codes to a small ship that had been bought under a false name, along with enough credits to last him several months. Completely silent on whether or not he was judging Luke's actions, the man simply told him to contact him in the event that he needed more later. Luke nodded his thanks, and then turned to his last task before he left Coruscant.

* * *

Dr. Darek Mondahl was officially more nervous than he'd ever been in his life. He knew that he was about to walk into a potentially explosive situation, and it scared him more than a grown man liked to admit to himself. Still, taking a deep breath to fortify his nerves, he knew he couldn't put it off much longer. 

The conversation that morning with Luke had been troubling and difficult. Darek had been surprised to see him out of the medcenter, and saddened by how tragically different this man was from the patient - and friend - that he'd known for the last several years. There was no joking conversation as he was accustomed to with Luke, instead there was a simple request for help.

Although, it wasn't really simple. Darek knew, and he suspected Luke knew as well, that Skywalker was asking a lot of him. But there was no way that he could refuse, especially when one considered the fact that Darek was well aware of everything that had happened to Luke while he was under Viktor's control. _Everything_.

Even his family did not know that Luke had been sexually assaulted, a fact that Dr. Ansel had discovered during his initial examination of his patient, and a fact that he had shared with Dr. Mondahl as Luke's primary physician. The two of them had agreed that if this news were to leak to the media, the consequences could be devastating to Luke's recovery, so they had decided to keep it quiet until they could discuss it with Luke himself.

Darek had wavered on that decision when Luke had shown up in his office unexpectedly, but again had thought it more important to consider Luke's fragile state of mind. He wasn't certain that disappearing for a while was the best option either, but there wasn't much he could do to stop a grown man from leaving the planet if he chose to do so. He didn't think it was the right time to bring up everything he knew about Luke's ordeal, so Darek remained silent, hoping that all his friend and patient needed was just a little bit of time and distance.

Luke was unaware that his doctors had discovered the depths of Berdin's brutality, or at least Darek was fairly certain that he was. You never could tell exactly what a Jedi was thinking, after all, but Darek had been a doctor for longer than Luke had been a Jedi, and he felt confident that Luke believed his secret to be safe.

He opened the door to Luke's room at Manarai Medical Center and was immediately overwhelmed by the sound of several people arguing vehemently with each other. There stood Luke Skywalker's sister; his brother-in-law; his fiancée; a man that Darek recognized as Luke's friend, Wedge Antilles; and the Manarai Medical doctor in charge of Luke's case, Dr. Ansel. They were all shouting and trying to make themselves heard over every one else in the room, creating utter chaos.

Using a trick he'd learned with his own five children, Darek reached over and hit the light switch, turning it off for a few seconds. The noise in the room instantly ceased as everyone turned to look in his direction and then Darek turned the lights back on.

"Hello," he said pleasantly to the hostile stares facing him.

Perhaps the only one not looking at him with anger was Princess Leia Organa-Solo, but that might be because she knew him personally, whereas the others did not. In fact, Luke's fiery fiancée was looking at him as though she intended to take his head off. He coughed a little nervously.

"Darek, Luke is gone!" Leia cried out, her voice panicked.

"I know," he replied quietly.

Mara Jade looked at him with a dangerously narrowed gaze and said, in a menacing voice, "What do you mean, 'you know'?"

Darek swallowed, before reminding himself that he was doing what Luke wanted him to do. As Luke's personal physician, his first obligation was to his patient, not his patient's family. He only hoped they'd see it that way.

"First of all, I want you to know that Luke is absolutely safe-"

"And just how do you know this?" Mara asked sharply.

"Let the man talk, Mara!" That came - rather bravely, Darek thought - from the man who'd flown against two Death Stars. Briefly, Darek wondered if testing a former assassin wasn't the more bold move.

"Guilt still eating at you, Antilles?" Mara said in a nasty tone, as her gaze swung around to pierce the dark-haired man.

"And whose turn was it to be with Luke this morning?" Wedge shot right back. The two of them glared at one another, before Han interrupted their stare down.

"That's enough, both of you," Han said. "Dr. Mondahl, why don't you tell us what you know."

Solo spoke calmly enough, but Darek could see the tension and fear in his stance. Coughing nervously, the doctor let them know what Luke had done.

"He's left the planet because he wants to deal with what happened to him in his own way."

He actually managed to get that whole sentence out of his mouth before the room erupted in outraged shouting. Taking a step backwards, he raised his hands in a defensive gesture as a couple of Luke's friends got a little too close. The fierce expression on Jade's face was really starting to frighten him.

"All right, that's _enough!_" Now it was Leia's voice being the one of reason. The roar in the room died down to a grumble and then everyone turned to Mondahl expectantly. "Explain please, Darek. We won't interrupt again, will we?" she said with a meaningful glance at the others in the room.

There were mumbled assents from the occupants and Darek breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Feeling more confident that they wouldn't kill him, he told them of Luke's visit to his office that morning.

"He came by to see me, asked a favor of me. Luke wants to go into seclusion for a while to try and deal with this, try to figure things out on his own. He's coming back, he's just not sure when."

"What? That's insane! That's the last thing he needs, to be alone like that. That was part of the problem when Viktor had him. He thought he was alone!" Han said incredulously.

Darek shrugged helplessly. "Personally, I agree with you, Captain Solo, but Luke is a grown man, fully capable of making his own decisions."

"Hold on. What was the favor you agreed to do for him?" Mara asked, again giving Darek that penetrating stare.

That wave of apprehension thrummed through Darek once again. They were definitely NOT going to like this part. He cleared his throat and spat the words out as quickly as he could.

"He doesn't want to talk to any of you right now, so I'm to be his intermediary."

That announcement didn't garner the vocal outcry that he'd supposed it would. Instead, they all stared at him in shock. The Princess paled as her mouth hung open a few centimeters.

"Doesn't want to talk to anyone, not even-" she pressed one hand to her chest in bewilderment, her voice breaking off as tears gathered in her eyes. Her husband reached over and took her other hand, squeezing it, and Darek could see the hurt in his own grim face.

For once, even the volatile former Emperor's Hand seemed stunned, although she was slightly better at camouflaging her expression. She raised one hand to rub at her forehead, pacing around in a little circle before she abruptly turned back to him.

"Why is he doing this?" she asked calmly.

"He feels overwhelmed, smothered by all your attention. No matter how well-meaning you are, it's just too much for him right now."

"Dr. Mondahl, as a fellow physician, surely you cannot think that a man who's just been through a trauma such as the one Master Skywalker has suffered needs to be without psychiatric care. He's not stable, he could..." Dr. Ansel said insistently. He trailed off with an uncomfortable look at Luke's sister and fiancé. "He could decide to do something drastic," he cautioned.

"We discussed that, actually," Darek said, attempting to ignore the little gasp of pain that came from Leia's lips. "He promised me he would not do anything of the sort, and if there's one thing I know about Luke, it's that he's a man of his word."

"I...I don't understand. We tried to be so understanding. We tried not to push him in any way," Leia stammered.

"Just a little space, Princess, that's all he needs for now. He, um, he asked me to remind you of the promise you made him when he first awakened. He said that you'd understand what he meant."

Leia closed her eyes and lowered her head as her own words came back to haunt her. _I will keep everyone out of this room, including myself, if that's what you want._ And yet, she'd been unable to do it. Everyone, including herself, just wanted to see him, to talk to him, to reassure themselves that he was alive and well. They'd ignored what he might have needed to help himself heal; a little distance, a little time to readjust to being back among the real world.

She raised her head and looked at Darek, her inner strength shining in her eyes. "All right. If that's what Luke wants, then that's what we'll do. How often is he going to contact you?"

"You can't be seriously thinking of going along with this!" Mara said harshly.

Leia turned to Mara, and was able to read the distress and pain she was radiating in the Force, although she didn't show it outwardly. She'd never attempted to 'talk' to Mara the way Luke was able to communicate with both his twin and his fiancé. But she thought that might be the only thing that would get through to the hot-tempered redhead.

**Mara, it's only for a little while. Luke _needs_ this.**

Jade started slightly at Leia's voice in her head, and blinked at her, uncomprehending for a moment. Leia realized she probably hadn't used this form of communication since before Luke had been kidnapped, and no doubt it was disconcerting coming from Luke's sister. It did serve to get her attention, however, which was Leia's goal.

**I promised him, whatever he needed to heal, we'd make sure he had. Try to understand?**

Everyone else in the room watched the two women staring at one another intently, wondering what in the sith was going on, but Leia and Mara ignored them. Mara finally answered Leia and her pain, matching Leia's own, was more than evident.

**He needs me..._us_, Leia. That's what he needs, he's just being too stubborn to see it.**

**I agree with you. But if we just give him this little bit of space, then he'll be more likely to cooperate with us when he comes back. And we will be right there for him then.**

**I don't like it. I don't like it at all**, Mara sent mulishly.

**But?** Leia sent, raising one brow expectantly.

**But I'll go along with it.** She still glared, but Leia could see the softening in her stance, and her sense in the Force. "I'll give him a month, and then his butt better be back on Coruscant or I'll go looking for him," she said bluntly.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: And another chapter, YAY! Some of you might be thinking at first, 'What the heck is going on here? Did she post the wrong story chapter by mistake?' Patience! All will be revealed. Well, not really _all_, as I can't say I know _all_, but...well, you'll see what I mean!**

* * *

Torm Loneozner risked one quick glance back over his shoulder. His brother Trent, and Trent's friend Crim Pendragon glared at him, waving their hands fiercely, telling him without words that he'd better not chicken out. Torm swallowed nervously and turned around, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other as he walked towards the remnants of a burned-out dwelling.

Torm had been pestering his older brother for weeks to let him tag along with him and Crim and their friends on their many adventures - or what Torm hoped were adventures - on the desert planet of Tatooine. Younger than Trent by three years, and annoyingly small for his age, Torm was desperate to have someone to befriend. Sometimes his dad made Trent take him along, but Torm just knew if he could do this, the dare they'd given him, then Trent and Crim would like having him in their little club, and they'd invite him along willingly.

The Lars homestead had been abandoned after the family had been killed there some dozen or so years ago. Now, of course, all the youngsters that had grown up since that time believed the place to be haunted. Torm didn't really believe in spirits, but it had become the standard rite of passage for those on the cusp of adolescence to spend one night in the house. They were allowing Torm some leeway, since he was only ten, and letting him stay just for two hours.

_Even that might be more than I can handle_, the boy thought nervously as he got ever closer to the building. _No, I can do this, I can! I'm brave! _He tried to keep that thought firmly in his mind as he walked slowly around the edge of the house to the entrance on the far side. He came to a stumbling halt at what he saw.

There was a ship there! It wasn't very big, only large enough for two, perhaps three passengers, but it was a ship that Torm knew he'd never seen before. Anxiously, he stepped back around and tried to signal to Trent and Crim. They were obviously unable to see the ship from their side of the house, where they were crouching behind their speederbikes, and not paying him the slightest bit of attention.

He hollered to them for just a moment before he stopped himself. That was probably not such a good idea, as whoever owned the ship was probably still in the house. Torm bit his lip in agitation, pondering what he should do. If he backed out of this and went running back to his brother now, Trent would never let him hang out with his group.

Well, a ship meant something alive and not a ghost, at the very least. There was nothing around here that a thief or a slaver would want, so maybe it was just someone who was lost and looking for directions. Telling himself to be brave, Torm started down the shallow steps into the courtyard of the house.

His heart was pounding in his chest as he stepped through a doorway into the house itself. It was mostly still intact, the kitchen seeming to have taken most of the damage. Torm wondered if he should call out to see if there was indeed anyone here, but he found his throat frozen and utterly silent. Walking slowly down the narrow hallway, he turned into the first room he came to.

There was a small trunk at the end of a tiny bed and Torm walked curiously over to it, the fact that there might be strangers in the house floating right out of his mind. Opening the trunk, he could tell that it seemed to have been ransacked, probably by Jawas looking for anything mechanical that they could sell. Pushed over to one side of the trunk was an intricate model of a T-16 skyhopper.

"Wizard," Torm breathed as he picked the model up. Turning it over in his hands, he could see that it had been put together with a lot of skill and care, certainly better than any model Torm himself had tried to do.

A sudden funny prickling at the back of his neck made him almost drop the model and he started to turn around. But before he'd begun the motion, a strong hand fell onto his shoulder and a frightening voice thundered in his ears.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Torm attempted to get a glimpse at the monster that held him but all he could see was a dark cloak and two burning eyes. He screamed in absolute terror.

* * *

Trent Loneozner was glaring fiercely at his best friend. He was sure that Crim was cheating in their gambling game somehow, but he just couldn't figure out how he was doing it. So far, it had cost Trent thirty-five credits, and if his dad found out about that...well, it wouldn't be pretty. 

Crim was smirking at him as he picked the dice up to roll once again. The still air was suddenly rent by his little brother's terrified cry. Startled, Crim and Trent stood up from behind the speederbikes, glancing towards the old Lars homestead.

"That little bantha turd. I knew he wouldn't be able to do it!" Crim said smugly.

Trent frowned slightly. He had been tormenting his little brother almost since the day the boy had been born, enough to be very familiar with all his cries of aggravation, fear, and anger. Something didn't sound quite right about that cry, but he was hesitant to mention his doubts to Crim. He didn't want to sound like a girl, after all.

As they watched, Torm's head came into view as he scrambled up the stairs. A half second later, a figure draped in a voluminous black cloak swarmed up behind him and grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him back down into the Lars house.

Crim and Trent both screamed in shock and fear, all pretense of manly bravado gone. Crim jumped up and ran to leap onto his speederbike.

"What are you doing?! We can't leave my brother in there!" Trent screamed.

"What are the two of us gonna do? We need to go get help!" Crim retorted.

With that, he started up the speederbike and sped away as if a krayt dragon was on his tail. Remembering the menacing figure that had captured his brother, Trent thought this might be worse. But Crim was right, there was nothing he could do to help Torm by himself. Reluctantly, he climbed onto his speederbike and started it. He glanced one more time at the house that he'd carelessly sent his brother into.

"I'll be back, Torm. I'll get dad and I'll be back and then we'll see what that creep has to say!" he vowed.

* * *

Laze Loneozner, or Fixer as he was known to everyone in Anchorhead, cursed as he pulled a fistful of wires out of the vaporator he was trying to repair. The Darklighters needed this thing by the beginning of the harvest or they probably wouldn't bring him any more of their business. And Fixer needed Huff Darklighter's business, as he was about the only one who could actually pay his bill on time. Unfortunately, the blasted machine was not cooperating with him. 

He leaned back and wiped the sweat off his brow with one greasy hand, releasing a sigh as he did so. Just as he was about to dive back into the inner workings of the annoying pile of metal, his older son and the Pendragon kid came running into the shop, screaming something incoherent at the top of their lungs.

It was several minutes before Fixer could get the boys to calm down enough to make sense of the words that were mixed with equal amounts of crying. He doubted their tale for just a moment, before deciding that only the truth could have gotten Trent this upset. Trent wasn't one to normally get hysterical over nothing.

Figuring they didn't have time to go get the local authorities - who were pretty much useless anyway - Fixer hollered at his assistant and old friend, Deak, to come help him get Torm back from whoever had made the bad choice to mess with one of his kids.

The two of them grabbed a couple of blaster rifles and jumped into Fixer's landspeeder. Of course, first he had to make Trent promise to go home and tell his mother, Camie, what had happened, just in case something did go wrong.

All sorts of grim pictures of what may have already gone wrong flashed through Fixer's mind as the landspeeder raced over the sands towards the old Lars place. And hadn't he told the boys to stay away from there anyway? If Torm was all right, he and Trent were going to be confined to their rooms for at least a standard month. Fixer didn't want to consider the possibility that the boy might not be all right.

When they pulled up to the homestead, there was nothing to indicate that anything was wrong. The place was almost eerily silent, in fact. Fixer and Deak got out of the landspeeder and, cradling the blaster rifles to their chests, crept down the stairs that led into the home.

He could hear someone talking and Fixer grimaced as he let out a slow breath, preparing to charge into the house and find out who had his son. That was when he realized that it was Torm that was doing the talking. And he wasn't just talking, he was chattering away in the manner that Torm did when he was bugging Fixer about the latest holobook he'd read.

Fixer and Deak shot each other an uncertain glance. As they were standing there, momentarily at a loss as to what to do, someone else spoke up.

"You can come in, Fixer. Your son is fine," a man's voice said.

Fixer was so startled, he almost dropped the rifle, but he managed to keep it in his hands somehow as he stepped into the room. Torm sat at on the sagging couch in the living room, the only piece of furniture that remained. He beamed at his father and jumped up to run across the room to hug him.

"Dad! Hi! I didn't mean to worry you, but I got scared but it was silly cause I know Luke wouldn't really hurt me, but anyway you'll never guess who this guy is!" he chattered excitedly.

Fixer stared at the man standing on the other side of the room. He was not much taller than the last time Fixer had seen him...how many years ago had it been? The kid's hair was darker, but his eyes were still a bright blue, though more serious than Fixer remembered them ever being. Astonished, he propped the blaster rifle against the wall as he absently patted Torm on the back with one hand. Deak peeked around his shoulder, the same expression of surprise in his eyes as he followed Fixer's lead and set his own rifle beside that of his boss.

"Wormie?" Fixer asked in disbelief.

Luke's expression didn't change, but his eyes cooled a bit more, if that were possible. Fixer noted that he held some sort of metal tube in his hand, which he hooked to his belt, but only after the blaster rifles had been discarded by his guests.

"I prefer Luke, if you don't mind," he said calmly.

"Yeah, his name's not Wormie, it's Luke Skywalker, Dad! Don't you know who Luke Skywalker is?" Torm asked.

"Well, yeah, of course I do, Son. He grew up here on Tatooine. Wormie's just a nickname we used to call him," Fixer said, a little uncomfortably. "How've you been, uh, Luke? Haven't seen you around these parts in a long while."

"Da-aad," Torm groaned with a pre-teen roll of his eyes. "Of course he hasn't been around here much. He's a Jedi Master! He's been busy training all the new Jedi since he single-handedly crushed the Empire by blowing up the Death Star and striking down the Emperor and Darth Vader, restoring peace and freedom to the galaxy!"

At that, Fixer was amused to note that Luke blushed slightly. Maybe he hadn't changed all that much after all.

"I wouldn't say single-handedly, Torm," Luke said quietly. "The Alliance fought long and hard before I joined them and they certainly continued to fight afterwards. The end of the Empire was brought about by the struggle and sacrifice of hundreds of thousands of beings, not just me."

"Huh," Torm said thoughtfully. "Well, that was what it said on the back of 'The Savior of the Galaxy', my latest holobook about you."

Luke coughed a little nervously. "Yes, well, those holobooks have been known to exaggerate somewhat."

"Deak, why don't you take Torm out to the landspeeder. I need to talk to Wor...I mean Luke, for a minute."

"Aw, but Dad! He was just telling me about how the Jedi Knights learn to build their own lightsabers!" Torm protested.

Fixer's eyes went involuntarily to the cylinder hanging innocuously from Luke's waist, and was suddenly grateful that he and Deak hadn't come in blasters blazing. As much as he'd given the kid a hard time when they were growing up, he remembered that the grown up version of that kid was a Jedi Knight and Fixer was well aware of what a Jedi was capable of.

"Torm, do as I say. You and your brother are already in trouble for messing around out here when I've told you not to," Fixer said sternly.

Torm's shoulders drooped and he muttered a 'yessir' as he headed towards the door, Deak moving to follow him. He turned at the entrance and looked back towards Luke.

"It was really nice to meet you, Master Skywalker. Maybe I can come and talk to you again sometime?" he asked hopefully.

"If it's all right with your father," Luke said.

The boy didn't look too hopeful about that and he sighed dramatically as he left the room. When they were alone, Fixer glanced at Luke a little nervously, hoping that his apprehension didn't show as bad as he thought it probably did.

"Kids these days... Sometimes they make you want to pull your hair out," he said, with a little laugh.

"I wouldn't know. I don't have any of my own."

_Not a very optimistic beginning_, Fixer thought. "Care to tell me exactly what happened here?" Jedi Master or not, nobody messed with one of his kids.

"I surprised Torm looking through the house. I grabbed him because I'd seen the speederbikes and I wasn't sure who they belonged to. It only took a few moments for him to recognize me and calm down enough to tell me what was going on. By that time, his brother and the friend were already gone. I realized who he was when he told me his name, so I figured you'd be along soon enough."

"Ah, I see. I'm, uh, sorry they were messing around in your aunt and uncle's place. I've told 'em a million times to stay away from here."

"That's all right. I do remember how curious I was as a child."

Luke's utter calmness was throwing Fixer for a loop. He could never recall little Wormie being so still and quiet for so long. He'd been constantly in motion even up into his teen years.

"So...what are you doing here?" he blurted. "We heard reports that you were dead."

Luke stiffened and for the first time, emotion flared into his eyes. Fixer wasn't sure what that emotion was, but it was intense.

"Torm didn't mention that. I wasn't sure if it had filtered all the way out here to the rim," he said gruffly.

"I don't let my kids mess around on the holonet. Too much stuff they don't need to see at their ages. He gets most of what he knows about you from those holobooks he reads and stories people around here tell," Fixer said.

He paused again, wondering if he should pursue the matter, but the truth was, most everyone on Tatooine was a little curious about their famous native son, even the ones who didn't like to admit it publicly. "Obviously, the reports weren't true," he prompted.

"They were truer than you might think," Luke said, just a tinge of bitterness in his tone.

"I don't understand," Fixer said uncertainly.

Luke gave an exasperated sigh and moved to stand in front of the window, turning his back to Fixer. It was the first bit of animation that Fixer had seen since their conversation - if you could call it that - had started.

"I don't really care to enlighten you."

Fixer supposed he shouldn't feel insulted, but he rather did. He was one of Luke's oldest friends, after all! So he hadn't been all that friendly most of the time, did that give the high-and-mighty Jedi reason to be rude?

_Yes, it does, Fixer. You're prying. _He could almost hear Camie's voice in his ear. That woman had been nagging at him to improve himself from the moment they'd gotten married. Ah, well. He supposed it wasn't any of his business.

"So what brings you back to Tatooine, then?" Fixer asked.

He could only wonder at the reasons behind Luke's suddenly self-mocking little smile.

"I decided I needed a vacation."

* * *

**Six Standard Months Later**

The first rays of bright sunlight were peering through his window when Luke opened his eyes. He'd already hit the extra sleep button on his bedside chrono twice and he knew he'd have to get up this time, or else it would be too hot to work by the time he got to Anchorhead.

Not that he _had _to go to Anchorhead, but it was easier to keep certain things off his mind if he was preoccupied with work. With a frown, he threw aside the light sheet he slept under and sat up on the edge of his bed. Even that little thought was more than he liked to dwell on anything further back than since he'd arrived on Tatooine.

He finally got up out of the bed and walked to the kitchen to grab a quick bite to eat. If it weren't for the fact that Fixer was counting on him to be at his shop that afternoon with the vaporator Luke had promised him, he probably wouldn't even leave the house today.

The scowl on his face deepened as his gaze fell on the bottle of pills that was sitting on the kitchen counter. He'd had to take them again last night, which was probably the reason he'd been too sluggish to wake up the first time his chrono went off this morning.

Luke had not wanted to take the sleeping pills that Dr. Mondahl had given him before he left Coruscant, but as soon as he'd let it slip about the nightmares he was having, Mondahl had insisted. He was determined not to use them unless it was absolutely necessary, though. Using the pills was a sign of weakness, a lack of control, and Luke was determined to never again be out of control.

Unfortunately, last night had been one of those nights where the nightmares just wouldn't go away. With a grunt, Luke turned away from his latest failure and opened his fridge.

Thirty minutes later, after a quick breakfast and a brief sonic shower, Luke drove the landspeeder - one of the few things he'd bought with his father's money - towards Fixer's garage in Anchorhead. People no longer stopped to stare at him as they'd done the first few days he was here. Tatooinians were fiercely independent people for the most part, and usually respected one another's privacy, especially those that were native to the planet.

After the initial curiosity about the galaxy's hero - and after realizing that he absolutely was not going to satisfy that curiosity - they left him pretty much alone. He barely got a second glance now as he whipped into a parking space beside Fixer's garage. He slid out of the driver's seat and strolled into the slightly cooler space inside the building.

"Luke, 'bout time you got here. Thought you mighta decided to take a holiday," Fixer grunted as he momentarily lifted his head out of the bowels of a mostly torn apart speeder.

"Slept in, that's all," Luke said quietly. "Where's Torm and Trent? They can help me unload the vaporator."

"In the back, arguing no doubt," Fixer replied as he gestured with the hydrospanner he was holding. "Ungrateful kids. Give 'em an opportunity to help their old man out and they spend most of their time on that damn dice game," he grumbled as he dove back into the speeder's innards.

A ghost of a smile crossed Luke's face as he thought how much Fixer sounded like Uncle Owen in that moment, before he turned to the back room to fetch the Loneozner boys. They were thrilled to see him, since Luke usually helped their father out while they were in school, especially Torm. The younger boy clung to Luke's arm, repeating his constant request that Luke levitate him with the Force.

From anyone else, the demand would have annoyed the reluctant Jedi, but Torm reminded him so much of himself. He still turned the boy down every time, but he did it with more patience than he would have anyone else. They gladly helped Luke unload the vaporator he'd brought their father, and then, upon seeing that he wasn't going to treat them to any special Jedi tricks, eventually melted back into the back room.

Luke and Fixer worked quietly alongside one another for the rest of the morning. Camie brought them lunch around midday and they took a brief break, relaxing in the relative coolness of the garage's interior when the dual suns reached their peak in the sky.

Fixer found himself watching Luke's hands as they glided over the parts of the vaporator, adjusting, tinkering, sometimes reaching down and exchanging one size hydrospanner for another. Everyone in the galaxy knew, of course, that the right one was mechanical, but it was so hard to tell the difference that sometimes Fixer forgot. He wondered if Luke sometimes forgot, if it would suddenly sneak up on him the fact that one of his limbs was made of circuitry and wires instead of flesh and blood.

"Something on your mind, Fixer?" Luke asked with a quiet sigh, his eyes remaining on his work.

He started just slightly. It still threw him sometimes when Luke did stuff like that. It was difficult reconciling the boy he'd known with the Jedi Master who was sitting across from him now.

"No, sorry. I was, ah, just thinking about stuff," he said gruffly.

Fixer was embarrassed to have been caught staring in wonder at the 'savior of the galaxy'. He'd made a conscious effort to treat Luke as normally as he treated his other old friends, and most of the time he succeeded. But every once in a while, it struck him that the guy who assisted him in his little repair shop was the same guy who'd blown up a space station.

Lately, though, one question had started to plague him more and more relentlessly.

"Luke, can I ask you something?" he asked hesitantly.

The Jedi responded with a grunt, and Fixer decided to take that as an assent.

"Not that I don't appreciate the help and all, but how long were you planning to stay on Tatooine?"

Luke's movements stilled and for a moment, Fixer thought he might actually get an answer out of him, but then he simply shrugged his shoulders and started working on the vaporator again. Fixer couldn't just let it go at that.

"It's just, I remember how hell-bent you always were to get off this rock, is all. And I'm wondering if you've suddenly decided to retire here or something."

Again, Luke paused, still not meeting his friend's gaze and Fixer pushed on.

"You're kinda young to be thinking about retirement anyway, aren't you?" he attempted to joke.

"It's safe here."

The words were uttered so quietly that Fixer almost didn't catch them at first. He frowned at the odd tone in Luke's voice.

"Safe from what?" he asked automatically.

Any answer to that question was lost as Luke abruptly froze, every line of his posture screaming 'alert!'. A look of disbelief crossed his face, and he leapt to his feet. To Fixer's surprise, he turned sharply and began to pace restlessly back and forth in the tiny garage, cursing in both Basic and Huttese. Somewhere mixed in there, Fixer also heard 'stupid', 'careless', and 'stubborn'.

He halted in the middle of step and stood utterly still, his head bowed and his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Deliberately, he breathed in, and then exhaled slowly, his fierce expression giving way to the serene mask that Fixer had become accustomed to seeing on his face.

Finally, he sat back down and picked up a hydrospanner and calmly began to work on the vaporator once more.

"Uh, Luke?" Fixer started to question him, but Luke cut him off with a sharp shake of his head.

A noise at the doorway to the garage drew his attention and Fixer glanced up...and immediately felt his breath leave his body. Standing there was quite possibly the most amazing looking woman he'd ever seen. Fixer loved Camie, but he could still appreciate a pretty face, and this was so much more than just a pretty face.

She was not very tall, but she filled out the outfit she was wearing quite nicely. Everything about her spoke of confidence, from her stance of hands-on-hips to the glowering expression on her face. And to top it all off, she had the most incredible flaming red hair that Fixer had ever seen. In fact, it might have been the only red hair that Fixer had ever seen. It wasn't a very common color on Tatooine.

Somehow he managed to speak with a mouth that had gone very, very dry.

"Can I help you?" he asked while thinking _Please say yes! _

"I think I've found what I'm looking for, thanks," she said coolly.

"No, you haven't," Luke said, and his voice was downright cold. Fixer hadn't heard that tone from him since the day the Jedi had returned to Tatooine.

"Oh, yes, I have. And if you think you're going to run away from this conversation, you can think again, Skywalker."

"I don't have to run away, because you're going to turn around and go straight back to Coruscant. We have nothing to discuss."

Fixer had to consciously keep his jaw from dropping to the floor. He could think of plenty of things he'd like to 'discuss' with this incredible vision. He was so entranced staring at her, he almost didn't notice the glare that was suddenly directed at him from Luke.

"Fixer, I think I hear _Camie _calling you," he said gruffly.

"What?" Fixer asked, a little dazed as he finally registered the intense look on Luke's face.

"Don't tell me you're jealous of a little attention from another man, Skywalker? You certainly haven't cared enough to wonder if anyone else has been looking at me for the last six months," the redhead's scathing tone brought both their attention back to her.

Fury flared in Luke's eyes and he stood abruptly, throwing his tools to the floor. Fixer knew that he was really incensed then. Luke had been raised by Owen Lars to treat his tools with the proper respect, just like any Tatooinian, and for him to forget that...well, this must be one hell of a woman. Besides the obvious fact that she was drop-dead gorgeous.

"I think I'll be heading back home for the day, Fixer," he said, his voice tight with tension. His eyes never left the woman as he directed his next words to her. "You need to be gone when I come back tomorrow."

He stormed past her on his way to the exit and so wasn't privy to the way her mask of composure slipped briefly, showing pain and longing. Fixer saw it though, and wondered again at how powerful the relationship - whatever it was - between the two of them must have been.

She started to reach for his arm as he passed her and his first name came from her lips in what seemed to be an involuntary plea."Luke-"

Luke didn't respond to the entreaty, just yanked his arm out of her grasp and kept moving. He stalked towards his landspeeder, throwing a few last words over his shoulder as he did so.

"You shouldn't have come, Mara!" With that, he practically flung himself into the landspeeder, and took off in a cloud of dust and sand.

When Fixer's eyes found the woman again, he wondered whether he'd imagined that momentary break in her poise, because the mask was firmly back in place. He swallowed a bit nervously, trying to figure out what he was supposed to say to her. Frankly, she frightened him a little and that was hard for a man like him to admit, even to himself.

"Are you going to tell me where he's gone?" she said in a quiet voice that still somehow sounded like a command.

"I...uh...if he'd wanted you to know, I think he woulda told you," Fixer managed to stammer.

"Let me put it this way. You can tell me or I can drag it out of you forcefully and painfully. Either way, I'm going after him. Your choice on whether you're able to chew your dinner tonight or not."

"Who _are_ you?" Fixer said, his tone bordering on awe, because as beautiful as he found her, he was suddenly very grateful that he was married to an uncomplicated woman like Camie.

She gave him a tight smile, and her determination was readable in every line of her stance.

"My name is Mara Jade. I'm Luke's fiancé."


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: My Christmas present to y'all...this story is finally finished!! I will be posting the last few chapters and the epilogue over the next couple of days, since I have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off from work. And if you've been wondering where I've been, that's the simple answer right there...I've been working and we've been busy as all get out at the doc's office that I work at.**

**So, more angsting from Luke (I know y'all are getting weary of that, but I promise that it's almost over, although it's gonna get a little worse before it gets better) and the beginning of the 'battle' between Luke and Mara! Who's the more stubborn? We shall see!**

* * *

As soon as Luke's landspeeder came to a shuddering stop outside the Lars house, he leapt out and stalked towards the room where he kept the comm unit, ignoring the sand kicked up by his abrupt arrival. There was only one thing on his mind at the moment, and he wasn't going to be able to clear his thoughts until he'd talked to the person he'd naively thought he could trust.

It only took Darek Mondahl two buzzes before he answered Luke's call. _Almost as though he was expecting it, _Luke thought with a grim smile.

"Luke, I didn't think I'd hear from you for another three days," Darek said, but Luke's suspicions were not allayed by his calm tone.

"Cut the bantha shavit, Mondahl. You know why I'm calling early," he said harshly. "Why did you tell her where I was?"

"I didn't tell her where you are, Luke. In fact, I still don't know where you are myself."

"Liar!" Luke exploded, and felt a perverse satisfaction at Mondahl's flinch. "She's here! She's here and I know you sent her!"

"I didn't send her, but I knew she was looking for you and I certainly wasn't about to try and stop her-"

"_Why_, Darek?! You were supposed to be the one person who understood, the one who realized I needed to deal with this…" Luke paused, struggling to regain his calm before he managed to continue. "…on my own," he said, his voice almost ending in the whine he'd been so teased for throughout his adolescence.

"Please, Luke, try to calm down and see things from our perspective. We're worried about you because we care about you deeply. Your family, your friends, and yes, your fiancé…all of us miss you terribly and we want you to come back home."

"I'm not ready to face all that," Luke maintained stubbornly.

"Don't you think it's time you made yourself ready to face it, Son? It's been more than six months since you left Coruscant. I understand that you don't want to face what happened, but-"

"I'm not ready. I'll deal with it when I decide to and not before!" Luke repeated. He didn't think it necessary to tell Darek that he'd practically decided that he would never deal with it. Mara showing up had only reinforced that thought, because the pain from the memories that her arrival had stirred up was just too intense.

Dr. Mondahl took a deep breath and gazed calmly at Luke. It seemed as though he were working his nerve up to say something and Luke got the feeling that it was not going to be good.

"Luke, I know that what happened to you was terrifying, but you can't handle it on your own."

Something about the tone of his words alerted Luke's senses and he didn't like where this was heading; he didn't like it at all.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, his breath quickening as twinges of panic starting fluttering through his system.

"I know what happened to you, Luke. I know what he did," Darek said, still maintaining that irritatingly calm voice.

"What do you _think_ you know?" Luke ground out as his jaw clenched tightly.

"I know that Viktor sexually assaulted you."

For a moment, Luke couldn't hear anything past the roaring in his ears, his blood pounding through his veins like a thousand drumbeats. His entire body froze in shock as denial automatically bubbled up inside him. That was his secret…_his_ and no one else's…Darek had no right!

"No, that didn't happen," Luke mumbled, shaking his head.

"I talked to your doctors, Luke. I know that it did happen and that's why-"

"NO! I was there, you weren't! I was there and it did not happen!" Luke shouted. Even as he was denying it to Darek, panic was washing over him. The doctors knew? Who else was aware of this nightmare? Han? Leia? Gods, did _Mara_ know?

"That's why you need to come back to Coruscant so we can get someone to help you with this, Luke," Darek continued over Luke's protests. "Look, I have a colleague that I think you should talk to. She helped out a lot of the soldiers after the Clone Wars and-"

"I can take care of it on my own, Darek! I don't need people messing around in my head."

"Luke, calm down, that's not the way it would be," Darek said, raising his hands in a calming gesture.

Luke realized that both of them had risen to their feet, and they were facing off in front of the comm screen as though they were in the same room instead of light years apart. Darek was treating him like he was a detonator about to go off and that just irritated Luke all the more. Not one of them had any idea how much Luke kept himself under control every single day, how he managed all on his own to keep that explosion they all feared from happening.

Perhaps it was time to cut all ties completely and disappear someplace they'd never find him. Dagobah had worked as an exile for Yoda, maybe it could work for him as well. He let all of the tension and fear drain out of him, forcing his righteous anger to take its place.

"My life, my decisions, Darek. Don't contact me again. And you can feel free to pass that message on to my sister and her husband," he said coldly, cutting the transmission before the doctor had a chance to protest.

As soon as Darek's image disappeared from the screen, Luke's tenuous hold on his emotions collapsed. He only barely held in the scream of frustration and fear that was fighting to escape his throat. Mara would follow him from Anchorhead, he knew that. She was far too stubborn to give up so easily and he was not ready to face her, not at all. He felt as though he were struggling to breathe as he turned away from the comm and headed back through the house.

The band of tension tightening around Luke's chest felt as though it were going to suffocate him as he stumbled into the kitchen of the homestead that had become his sanctuary. Seeing Mara again, feeling the brush of her Force presence up against his…for just a moment, it had been the sweetest thing he'd ever felt. Then the memory of why he could no longer be with Mara, and the darkness that threatened to consume him every night, had rushed through him.

He fell to his knees in the middle of the floor, gagging as the memories of hurts and smells and fears began to choke him. He couldn't get air into his lungs, and gods, he could _feel_ Viktor's breath against the back of his neck, could taste the bile already rising in his throat. Everything, every emotion, every fear, that he'd managed to repress since he'd come to Tatooine was flooding back over him, the sharpness of it cutting him like vibroblades.

Collapsing forward, Luke pressed his forehead into his hands, ragged sobs slipping from his throat as he tried desperately to regain his control. He couldn't let Mara sense this; he couldn't let her know how precariously he was holding himself together. Because if she knew how close he was to losing it completely, she'd want to 'help'. She'd want to make him go back to Coruscant, face this demon that was destroying his soul and that was the one thing Luke simply could not allow to happen.

Growling several Huttese curses, Luke ground his head against the tile of the kitchen floor, forcing himself to take deep, gasping breaths. Reluctantly, he reached out to the well of power that was the Force to calm his violent emotions. It felt like a betrayal of his promise to not use that ability until he felt clean enough, and he hated himself even more. He rationalized in his mind that he really had no choice. Mara was coming, he would know that even if he couldn't sense her presence in the Force. She'd never been one to give up easily.

Ruthlessly, he crushed all the helplessness and the horror back into its tiny little box at the back of his soul.

"You don't control me, Viktor, not anymore. You're dead, dead and gone. No more power over me, not ever again!"

He wanted to feel strength from that vow, but all he could sense was his own weakness, because he knew in his gut that the words weren't true. Viktor controlled him now just as surely as the bastard had when Luke was still confined to a tiny, windowless room, thought dead by the rest of the galaxy.

* * *

Mara's hands were gripping the steering column of her rented speederbike so hard, her knuckles were turning white. That was not how she'd intended her first meeting with Luke after six interminably long months to go. Not at all. Her jaw tightened uncomfortably as she recalled the cold look on his face and her own caustic response to it. 

She wasn't certain exactly what she had been expecting. Since his supposedly short 'I need some space' time had stretched into an obvious 'I'm not ever coming back and you'd better not look for me' act of flight, she should have known that he would not be pleased to see her.

But after having searched for him for so many months, Mara had been nothing short of ecstatic that she'd finally tracked him down. Without thinking of the consequences, she'd reached out to him through the Force when she'd sensed his presence in the tiny town she'd traced him to. And he had rebuffed her touch completely, abruptly closing himself away from her. That had hurt more than Mara wanted to admit to herself.

She cursed silently at having done something so careless, but she had just missed him so much and it had been so long since she'd seen him. A few times in the past few months, Mara had feared that she might never find him.

Apparently, the supposedly naïve farmboy had quite a few tricks up his sleeve when it came to disappearing. Mara's lips twisted into a wry smile as she thought that his barely-removed-from-a-very-shady-past brother-in-law probably had a lot to do with that.

When their one-month deadline had come and gone and Luke was still sending messages through Mondahl, it hadn't taken Leia, Han and Mara long to realize that he had no intention of returning to Coruscant any time soon. He must have learned some tricks that even Han didn't know, because until now they'd had no luck in tracing his trail.

Dr. Mondahl had been of little help, as he didn't actually know where Luke had fled to himself. The messages that came weekly to the comm in his office were rerouted through so many terminals, it was impossible to track them back before Luke logged off every week. He had steadfastly refused to talk to anyone in his family, sending the brief notes that he was still alive and well only to Mondahl.

A couple of times, Leia or Mara had tried to be there when Luke made contact, but he somehow always knew when that was the case, and he signed off immediately after signing on, just giving Darek enough time to be aware of his displeasure at the attempted deception. After those couple of tries, Mondahl had forbid anyone to try again, as he was worried about Luke nearly as much as his family was. They got more info out of Luke when he only talked to his physician anyway.

Mondahl recorded every transmission that Luke made, and at least they could see for themselves that he was still alive. Leia had mentioned worriedly several times that he had lost some weight and that his eyes looked tired. Mara herself could read so much more into every line of his posture and expression. Her farmboy was obviously, at least to her eyes, only barely holding himself together, and it was supremely frustrating that he would not allow her to help him.

She coughed as a small wave of sand curled over the speederbike's shield and tickled the inside of her nose. Tatooine. Mara let her lip curl up just a little at the irony of where her search for Skywalker had led her. It took her back a few years to when her reasons for looking for him were so very different. Back then, she'd only had ending his life in mind; now, she desperately wanted to save him.

Once she'd finally traced his path, Mara had been surprised that Luke had run to a place that he'd always claimed to hate and one which held such painful memories for him. In retrospect, though, it made an odd sort of sense. Luke may have hated growing up on this desolate planet, but it was also probably the last place that he'd felt truly safe. Ever since the moment that he'd taken that step into the larger world that Obi-Wan had introduced him to, Luke Skywalker had carried a huge target on his back, one that would never completely go away.

Her whole body tensed in anticipation as the homestead of Luke's aunt and uncle came into view when she topped a small rise. She knew he wasn't going to make this easy on her, but then she didn't plan to make it easy on him either. Luke might think he was stubborn, but he had no idea just how tenacious the Emperor's Hand could be.

When she stepped into the darkened interior of the domed dwelling, Mara was mentally prepared for a battle. Probably the last thing she'd expected to see was Luke standing in the kitchen with his back to her, calmly preparing a meal. Then she looked closer and noted the tension that he was trying so hard to hide in the lines of his shoulders. She grinned a little, anticipating the clash that was to come.

"Hello, Luke," she said quietly.

"Some people might consider it rude just to walk into someone's home unannounced."

"You knew I was coming, so I'd hardly call it unannounced," she said confidently.

"Some people might also find it rude to come in where they've already been told they're not welcome," he retorted.

"Now, really, Skywalker, is that any way for a Jedi Master to act?" she drawled, and was delighted to see his shoulders stiffen even more. "I thought the Jedi were supposed to be all about welcoming and embracing everyone."

Luke's head dropped a little and Mara noticed that he'd stopped pretending to mess with whatever it was he was supposed to be cooking. "Mara, you just need to go. Please," he said, his voice rough with emotion.

"I'm not going to just go, Luke. And the least you can do is turn around and look me in the eye while you break every promise you've ever made to me."

He jerked around and Mara found herself having to fight to keep her dismay from showing at the pain-filled expression in his eyes. It wouldn't get her anywhere if she allowed herself to feel sorry for him because he was doing that well enough all on his own. She was here to kick his ass and get him back to Coruscant.

"I never meant to hurt you, Mara. I just can't…" he said hoarsely before he trailed off.

"Well, you did hurt me, Luke. You asked me to marry you. We _bonded_ with each other. How did you think I was going to feel when you ran away? Leaving me with only this?" Mara asked angrily as she pulled the chain with his ring on it out of her shirt for him to see. Luke's face blanched in shock.

"Where did you get that?"

"Leia gave it to me not long after Berdin took you. We were all getting despondent not being able to find any leads and she was trying to encourage me not to give up hope."

She couldn't help but notice that Luke flinched slightly at the mention of Viktor's name, but Mara ignored that, pressing on when he didn't say anything.

"You'll notice that I'm not wearing it on my finger," she said softly. "That's because I told Leia that it was your responsibility to put it there. I think I've waited long enough, Luke."

His eyes closed and a shudder passed through his body. When he looked at her again, Mara's heart squeezed at the utter despair in his face.

"I am so sorry that I hurt you, Mara, but you deserve better than me. You deserve someone who's whole and undamaged and who can love you the way you should be loved. I can't do that, not anymore," Luke said, his voice shaking.

Mara took a deep breath, preparing herself for the reaction she knew that her next words were going to get. It was time to push him, just a little.

"That is, without a doubt, one of the biggest piles of rubbish that you've ever tried to shovel on me, Skywalker. And believe me, you've shoveled plenty in your day, Mr. 'You're wasting your Force talents, Mara' Jedi Master."

Mara watched as his eyes blazed with a sudden fury, and tried to hide her satisfied smile at the sharp intake of breath as his whole body went rigid with anger. She might not have done as well as she'd hoped to in disguising her smugness because he gave her a growl and then visibly calmed himself.

He gave her a cold glance before replying, "You are not going to be able to goad me into a reaction, Mara. I'm staying, you're leaving, and there's nothing more to be said about it."

"I haven't even begun yet, Skywalker. There's no way I'm leaving now. I will say this. In all the time I've known you, even before I knew you personally and I still hated your very existence, I've never thought you to be a coward. But that's what I'm seeing now. Someone who's afraid, who's willing to let a worthless piece of slime like Berdin control his life even after the bastard is dead!"

Mara had gotten fairly worked up during her little speech and by the end of it, she was shouting at him, screaming like some out-of-control harridan and that was not what she'd intended to do. But Luke could still press all her buttons, even when he was obviously trying not to.

"Shut up! You understand about as well as Mondahl does, and by that, I mean _not at all_! This is my life and if I want to spend the rest of it here, then I will and there's nothing you can do or say about it, and I want you-" he strode quickly across the space dividing them in the small kitchen and grabbed her by the upper arm, pulling her back towards the doorway she'd entered, "-out of my house!"

Mara had never liked being manhandled and she certainly wasn't going to take that, not even from the man she loved and whom she'd come to save. She twisted her body, planting her foot between his legs and attempting to take him down quickly. But Luke had learned a few things himself over the years and blocked her move, somehow managing to cause her to be the one to lose her footing. Mara had never been one to let someone get the upper hand on her for very long, though, and she gripped the front of his tunic in both hands, making him come down with her.

They landed with a thud and a grunt on the hard floor of the kitchen, Luke halfway on top of Mara. For a moment, they lay there, a little stunned at what had just happened. Then Mara became intensely aware of the intimacy of their positions, and she couldn't help but be painfully aware of the last time she'd been tangled together with Luke like this, and they had definitely not been angry with each other at that time.

Her whole body stilled, but her breathing quickened as his gaze suddenly sharply met hers. Mara's heart leapt as she recognized the flare of desire in his eyes. Then she found herself holding her breath when his head slowly lowered towards hers, almost as though he was in a daze. Perhaps they were both a bit dazed but Mara wasn't going to do anything to break this amazing moment.

When his lips softly touched hers, it was as though Mara could breathe again after being without air for years. The kiss was hesitant, light, nothing like the many kisses Luke had given her back on Coruscant. Those had been passionate, full of fire, and just as forceful as his personality was. This kiss was like a gentle rain compared to the fierce thunderstorm their lovemaking had once been, but Mara still wished for it to never end.

As much as she tried to be careful to do nothing to disturb this fragile connection that had bloomed, Mara couldn't hold back a soft little moan at the feelings surging through her from the taste of his lips on hers after so long. Almost immediately, it ended and Luke pulled away from her with a flinch. The look of anguish on his face was enough to drive a vibroblade through Mara's heart.

But before she could say anything, he was up and off of her, moving away to stand just outside the door in the courtyard with his back facing her, obviously trying to compose himself. Mara got slowly to her feet, the intensity of the moment they'd shared still making her a little shaky. She walked up to him, placing a hesitant hand on his arm, somehow surprised and yet not, to find him trembling.

"Luke…" she started softly, and then paused, unsure of what exactly she could say. There were so many things swirling in her head at the moment, she wasn't able to make any of them make any sense.

"Mara, you just need to go. Please. Forget about me and move on with your life," he said quietly.

"I can't, Luke. I can't and I won't," she vowed.

He sighed heavily and turned to give her a halfhearted glare. "You always were too damn stubborn for your own good," he muttered, just the faintest tinge of affection coloring his tone.

Oddly, that was the first thing he'd said since Mara had arrived at his homestead that gave her a little bit of hope. He'd opened the door just a tiny bit, and Mara was determined to stick her foot in it and wedge it open further, whether he liked it or not.

"You know me too well, Skywalker," she said with a smirk worthy of Han Solo.

Luke gave a harsh little sound that was something close to a laugh, even if it was a little bitter, and turned his gaze away with a little shake of his head. Mara's hopes rose and she cast about for something neutral to say that wouldn't make him jerk his defenses back up again. Before she could come up with something, she noticed him staring intently at the horizon, his head tilted slightly to the side, as though he were studying it.

"Damn," he muttered. "Sandstorm's coming."

Mara spared a glance to where he'd been looking and squinted in confusion at what looked like perfectly clear skies to her. "What, the Force lets you know what the weather's going to be like now?" she said in disbelief.

Luke shot her an irritated glance. "No, living on this planet for the first eighteen years of my life lets me know what the weather's going to be like. Trust me, sandstorm's coming. I need to get the farm locked down."

He started walking towards a garage that was few meters away. Halfway there, he paused and turned back to her. "Well, c'mon. If you're going to stay, you're going to help," he snapped impatiently. He then continued on without waiting to see if she was going to follow him or not.

Mara wasted no time in quickly catching up to him. She knew she'd just been granted a reprieve and she had no intention of letting it go to waste.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Mara pushes...Luke avoids! And in the meantime, they play a little Sabacc.**

* * *

Luke found himself struggling over the next couple of hours to remember that Mara being here was a bad thing. They had always worked well with each other whenever they happened to be on any sort of mission together. Even on Myrkr, when her antagonism had practically been a living thing, they'd managed to operate smoothly as they'd traversed the Force-blind jungle.

She didn't say anything, didn't bring up the idea of him going back to Coruscant at all, as they brought all the vehicles within the confines of the garage and then set up the collapsible poles that activated the electronic barrier around the perimeter of the farm. That task took the most time and Luke fought against the feeling of comfort that being around Mara again brought. He couldn't afford to get complacent, because he knew the comfortable feelings wouldn't…_couldn't_…last.

They had only barely finished before the skies starting darkening ominously, and sure enough, only minutes after they'd both made it into the house and locked down all the doors and windows, the sandstorm hit with a vengeance. The two of them were sitting quietly at the dining room table, listening to the wind howl and the vicious scratching of the sand against the roof.

"How long will this last?" Mara asked suddenly, her voice surprising Luke after the silence between them had stretched out for a while.

"Hard to say. Some of them only last an hour or two, some of them have been known to last for a full week," he answered tersely.

"You have enough food and supplies if we get stuck here for a while?"

Luke gave her a sour look. "Well, I have enough food and supplies for one person," he said nastily.

"Lucky I don't eat much then," Mara snapped back, but her tone was still gentler than his and Luke vaguely felt ashamed of his attitude. Not that he was going to let her know that. He still wanted her out of here after this was all over.

"What was the use of those barriers we spent so much time setting up if they don't even block the storm? It's still hitting the house," Mara asked curiously.

"The barriers are blocking about seventy-five per cent of the storm. Believe me, if they weren't there, the roof would be blowing off right about now. Nothing can completely keep out a Tatooine sandstorm."

Mara didn't reply to that and the quiet lingered between them once again. Luke had almost begun to drift into a light doze, his head propped in his hand, as he listened to the storm hitting the house.

"It's almost beautiful in a way, isn't it?" Mara said, her voice so soft and low, he wondered for a moment if she really had said something or if he'd just imagined it. He glanced at her questioningly and saw that she was staring out the window at the sand swirling furiously outside.

She looked over at him when he didn't reply to her comment and Luke guessed that his lack of response triggered a need to explain her words.

"The storm, I mean. It's nature at its most primal. Covering everything up, smoothing it out. Kind of like starting over. And it sounds almost like music if you close your eyes."

Luke watched as she did just that, closing her eyes and tilting her head to better hear the sounds of the storm. The serene look on her face was beautiful, mesmerizing, and Luke knew a moment of envy that she could find such tranquility when his own emotions were often so torn. He found himself wishing that he could find peace from such a simple thing and just that thought flittering through his brain was enough to make him fear that she was already getting to him.

"You wouldn't think that if you'd grown up here. Sandstorms were a nightmare for me. Not only did they keep me from going into Anchorhead to hang out with my friends, they wreaked havoc with all of our machinery. And guess who had to go clean all the tiny grains of sand out of all those moisture vaporators? Me, Uncle Owen's free laborer, that's who," Luke said, and was a little surprised at his own bitterness.

"Hmm," Mara said noncommittally in reply to his complaint. "It is aggravating not being appreciated for your efforts and hard work, isn't it?" she mused. She then proceeded to tell Luke a story of one of her instructors under the Emperor who would never give her the credit for any accomplishment she'd made during his teaching.

Luke would not have thought it possible to make an amusing tale out of the training of an assassin, but he found himself smiling as Mara obviously stretched the truth of the battles between herself and the tutor. A tiny chuckle escaped him as she told of an elaborate scheme for revenge that included dying every stitch of clothing the man owned a sickly shade of puce green.

That story led to another and then to another, and before he knew it, Luke found himself sharing a couple of the funnier mishaps he'd been involved with when he first joined the rebellion, when he'd been so green he probably would have matched Instructor Kellion's dyed clothing.

"It's nice to hear you laugh," Mara said softly as she laid a gentle hand on his arm.

Luke stiffened and yanked his arm away, horrified that he'd allowed her to get under his defenses so easily. Oh, yes, she had to go and she had to go as soon as possible. He stood abruptly and scowled down at her.

"It's late. I'm turning in," he said shortly, and left the kitchen before she could respond. Grimly, he realized that he'd been reduced to scampering away from her like a womp rat from a bantha, but Luke chose not to think about that for the moment. All that mattered was that he get some distance so that he could get himself together and remember that he wanted her to leave.

He slipped into the small refresher that was beside his bedroom and firmly closed the door. Blast her! Only here one day and she was already playing hell with his emotions. No doubt about it, it was imperative that he get Mara Jade out of here as soon as this storm passed. Luke desperately hoped it was not going to be one of the longer ones.

Clenching his jaw in self-disgust, Luke opened the small cabinet behind the mirror, reaching in to pull out his bottle of sleeping pills. His frown deepened when he realized that he only had two left, and there was no way for him to refill the scrip with the sandstorm going on. He'd used more of them than he'd meant to over the last couple of months. His first few weeks on Tatooine had been so filled with cleaning out and fixing up the farm, that he'd had neither the time nor the energy to dwell on the demons that had chased him here; but once things had settled down a bit, Luke had had more time than he wanted to think, and to remember.

Well, there was nothing else for it, he was going to have to take one tonight. Luke did not want Mara knowing of the nightmares or she'd just be more determined than ever to offer her 'help'. Before he could change his mind, Luke quickly popped one of the pills in his mouth and swallowed it dry. Knowing that the medicine took effect fairly rapidly, he stripped off his shirt and boots and headed towards his bedroom.

He climbed into the bed that had once belonged to his aunt and uncle and gave a sigh as he closed his eyes. The pill was already starting to work and he could feel his mind going comfortably blank. His eyes flew back open in astonishment as he felt the other side of the bed give with Mara's weight. She smirked at him unapologetically as she settled down beside him and pulled the covers up over herself.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked harshly, glaring at her.

"Going to bed, same as you."

"I don't recall giving you permission to sleep in here with me," he snarled.

"I don't recall asking," she shot back at him. "But this is the only bed in the house and if you think I'm going to attempt to sleep on that pathetic excuse you have for a sofa, you can just think again, Farmboy! Now, hush and go to sleep, I'm not going to molest you or anything."

Luke froze in horror at her unthinking choice of words, his face paling as memories of Viktor immediately rushed into his head, but thankfully she didn't notice as she was turning to lie facing away from him. He lay there for a few minutes more, trying to push away the thoughts of that bastard and everything he'd done. Mara either didn't realize his distress or was giving him space, as she said nothing further and even seemed to be already asleep. Finally, Luke was able to calm himself enough to allow the sleeping pills to do their task and he fell into an uneasy slumber.

When he awoke the next morning, Luke was disoriented for a few moments. That was the other thing he really hated about using the sleeping pills. Besides the nagging feeling of lacking control, they always made him feel slightly muzzy-headed first thing the next day.

He lay there on his back with his eyes still closed, unwilling to open them and face the day just yet. Gradually, he became aware of a warmth that was pressing up against his side, and curiously, he turned his head in that direction. The sharp scent of cinnamon filled his nose and Luke's eyes snapped open in surprise. All he could see was a cloud of red hair, and he remembered instantly that cinnamon was the brand of hair cleanser she'd preferred to use. His whole body stilled, hesitant to wake Mara for fear of what she might say. Or of what _he_ might say, Luke wasn't certain which possibility was more dangerous.

Luke lifted his head off the pillow and tilted it so that he could see her face. Her cheek was pressed against his shoulder and her hands were holding onto his arm, almost as though she feared that he might have tried to run from her as she slept. He just stared at her for several minutes, fighting to push down all the conflicting feelings lying so intimately with her brought on.

Before he realized what he was doing, he'd lifted his hand and trailed his fingers lightly down the side of her face. When she mumbled something in her sleep and shifted even closer to him, Luke caught what he was doing and jerked his hand away, dropping his head back onto the pillow with a sigh of disgust.

He was amazed that she hadn't awakened, as he recalled her always having been a very light sleeper. And that thought was leading him right back to a place that he definitely did not want to go. With another small groan at his apparent lack of backbone, Luke carefully disengaged his arm from her hands and slipped out of the bed to head for the 'fresher.

Bracing his hands on the edges of the sink, Luke let his head fall until his chin almost touched his chest. After a few moments, he managed to raise his head and meet the weary gaze of his own reflection. He almost didn't recognize himself. Bitterly, he wondered how Mara had even recognized him, his appearance was so different from the man she'd fallen in love with.

Leia had told him that his captivity had lasted a total of thirty-nine days. Thirty-nine days. Not so long, really. A blink in the average lifespan of a human being. Sad then, that his life was now so sharply divided into _before_ those thirty-nine days and _after_.

Staring at himself in the 'fresher mirror, Luke tried to fight down the feeling of contempt at his own cowardice. The one insult that Viktor had ever flung at him that had truly offended Luke and it was nothing more than the truth, he thought sullenly. It was the fact that Mara was right about all the horrible things she'd said to him that hurt so damn much. That didn't mean he was going to admit to _her_ that she was right. No, Luke still much preferred to live in his safe little world of denial, where he didn't have to worry about remembering what Viktor had done to him.

The sound of the 'fresher door opening had him jerking his head around in surprise. Mara shuffled into the small room, giving an exaggerated yawn as she did so.

"Are you done brooding yet? Because I'd really like to take a shower. Hey, do these sonic things work as well as water? I can't believe you never had a water shower until after you left this planet," she said.

Luke gaped at her temerity. "The door was closed, in case you didn't notice," he said sharply.

She gave him a sarcastically beaming smile. "Yes, I did notice that right before I opened it. So, seriously, are you done being all moody for the moment? Because, as I just said…me…needing a shower?" she said with a gesture between herself and the tiny sonic shower stall in the room.

When he simply continued to glare at her, Mara gave a shrug and started to pull her sleep shirt over her head. Luke made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a squeak.

"Mara, what are you doing? I'm in here, you can't just get undressed in front of me."

"It's not like you haven't seen it all before, Farmboy," she purred at him, and then the sleep shirt was off and flying towards his face.

With an irritated growl, Luke yanked it away and fled the 'fresher before she could torment him any further. He stalked into the kitchen and threw together a simple meal, the whole time worrying about how he was going to deal with Mara Jade if she decided to start playing _that_ kind of game. He would just have to make sure his defenses were firmly in place, he declared to himself silently. He would become made of ice, so cold and hard that she'd never be able to break through.

Luke was prepared to settle in for an all-out war on his defenses, but when Mara emerged from the 'fresher, she was acting in the same friendly, non-threatening manner that she had been the day before. Luke was thrown off-balance, and then wondered if that was her ploy, to confuse him so much that he'd give in to whatever she wanted. He didn't know how the fact that she hadn't asked anything of him played into his theory, but he was still wary of her.

Mara acted as though she didn't notice his suspicion and surly behavior. They ate the lunch Luke had prepared, as they'd slept past breakfast, did a few simple chores around the house because neither of them were very good at sitting around with nothing to do, and then they had a quiet dinner. She produced a set of Sabacc cards from somewhere and somehow talked him into playing a few hands, even though it wasn't his game at all. Han had tried for years, without success, to teach Luke the subtleties of the game and the Jedi had never gotten any better at it.

Using the caf table in the living room, they sat of the floor across from each other and began to play, using Luke's stash of tangaroot-flavored hard candies as the sabacc pot. He fondly remembered his Aunt Beru doling them out as special treats when he was a child. When he'd found that they were still sold in Anchorhead, he'd been unable to resist stocking up on them and had become as addicted to them again as he'd once been in his youth. Mara had laughed when he'd told her that, and then had merely laughed harder when Luke glared at her for daring to do so.

After several hands, Mara's pile of candies was growing larger while Luke's was growing ever smaller. It was almost to the point where he would have nothing left to wager with. He gave her an accusing stare.

"Are you cheating?"

"I am extremely offended that you would even stoop to ask that question, Skywalker. How dare you?" she said blithely as she raked yet another group of tangaroots towards her pile.

"Well, it's just that you've managed a perfect twenty-three four times now. Even I know that's a little, shall we say, lucky?"

"Can I help it if I've got skills?" she said and winked at him.

Luke sighed in mild disgust, but continued to play. It was better than sitting around doing nothing at any rate. The thought that he might have been a little lonely in the last six months wriggled its way into his consciousness, but Luke stubbornly ignored it, hoping it would go away.

Sure enough, two hands later, Luke watched as Mara gleefully scraped the last of his candies into her pile. He shook his head in amusement as she gave him a leer and a playful cackle.

"Well, I guess that's it for sabacc," he said.

"Not necessarily."

"I've got nothing left to wager, Mara. I'm not going to use real credits," he said with a frown.

He glanced down at the empty space on the table in front of him just to double check that he hadn't missed a sweet or two. When Luke looked up again, Mara had somehow managed to slip around the table until she was right beside him, a little too close for his comfort, actually. He froze as the smell of cinnamon once again washed over him, making him yearn for things he knew he shouldn't want.

"Mara…um…you…" he stammered, seemingly unable to come up with one coherent thought.

"Sometimes an understanding player will allow an opponent to ante up with something other than credits or candies. Something a little more intangible perhaps," Mara whispered and her face was so close to his now.

He could almost feel the heat of her skin, and as she spoke softly, a tiny breath of air from her mouth gusted over his cheek. Shivers radiated out from Luke's belly, tingling all the way out to his fingertips and he was barely able to restrain a gasp.

"Like what?" he asked, feeling as though the words were pulled from him. He hadn't meant to say anything to her. He was going to made of ice, resist her and the games she was trying to play. But Luke Skywalker had never, in all the time he'd known her, been able to completely resist Mara Jade, especially when she had her mind truly set on something.

"Oh, perhaps something as simple as…" she said so softly, and her lips were so close now to his own. "…a kiss?"

Luke's chest began to ache, reminding him that he probably needed to breathe at some point. He knew what he _should_ say in reply to her request, but it didn't match up to what he suddenly desperately _wanted_ to say.

"I…uh…I don't think…" he stammered. His eyes drifted closed, and he breathed in the scent that was Mara; a mixture of cinnamon and some dusky flowery perfume and just _her_.

"You're thinking too much. C'mon, Jedi, work with me here," she encouraged breathily and leaned in to touch her lips tenderly to his.

"_This is always my favorite part, Jedi. I'll admit, it will be different, you being a man and all, but I think we can make it work, don't you?"_

Luke gasped in shock and his eyes flew open wide as the harsh words that Viktor had hissed in his ear right before he'd ripped Luke's world apart came flooding back into his mind. He scrambled madly backwards away from her, knocking into the table and sending the sabacc cards and tangaroot candies flying everywhere.

"No! I can't! I _can't_!" he cried out, before leaping to his feet and fleeing to the safety of the 'fresher, locking the door behind him this time.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Here's another chapter and we're getting a lot closer to the end now! Luke is becoming more and more desperate and desperate people sometimes get dangerous ideas...**

**Luckily, a former Dark Lord of the Sith is there to help Mara in her attempts to rescue Luke. (big grin)**

* * *

Mara, momentarily stunned by Luke's intense reaction, watched him go, and felt so frustrated that she was tempted to pull her hair out. She started to follow him, but decided that she'd pushed him enough for the time being. But he'd been tempted, she could tell. Those barriers he'd built up were coming down, one way or another, and Mara wouldn't rest until she had Luke Skywalker back on Coruscant with her, where he belonged.

Wearily, she cleaned up the cards and candies that were scattered all over the floor, keeping an eye on the 'fresher door to see if Luke would emerge sometime soon. She wished that this damned sandstorm hadn't cut off all communications or she'd try to call Leia for some advice. But it was just the two of them here for the foreseeable future, so Mara vowed to try a little harder to get through to him.

Realizing that he probably wasn't going to venture out of his hidey-hole until he knew for certain that she was not going to get too close again, Mara wandered into the kitchen and quietly began to clean the few dishes they'd dirtied up that day. She paused, but didn't turn around when she heard the 'fresher door slide open.

As lightly as she possibly could, Mara sent out a tiny Force tendril towards him, trying to gauge his mood. She blinked when she was firmly rebuffed. He may not be attempting to use the Force consciously, but Luke certainly remembered how to block himself off.

After giving him what seemed to be enough time to get into bed and fall asleep, Mara made her way into the bedroom. She stared down at his still form for a long time, pondering quietly what her next move should be. It wouldn't do any good for her to pick the wrong strategy tomorrow and ruin all the progress she'd made today.

Although, she wasn't sure if it was truly progress or not. Mara had definitely breached some of those walls Luke had so firmly up all around him, but she had obviously scared the wits out of him in the process. Even in repose, he looked tense and uncomfortable. She briefly wished that Viktor Berdin was still alive so she could do to him whatever it was that he had done to her Luke.

And then she would kill the bastard herself. She knew that one of the things that had to be tormenting Luke so was the way he'd killed Berdin. Luke Skywalker should never have had to dirty himself with such a nasty task. That sort of thing was a job for a former assassin.

With a sigh of resignation, but still hopeful that tomorrow would be better, Mara turned to walk into the 'fresher to prepare for bed. She brushed her hair and cleaned her teeth and was just about to turn out the light and leave when she caught a glimpse of something in the trash can out of the corner of her eye.

Curious, she bent down and fished out what appeared to be a prescription medication bottle. The name on the front of it was not Luke's own name, but a pseudonym she'd known him to use on occasion. Mara's frown deepened as she glanced at the type of medicine it was, recognizing them as powerful sleep aids. She'd actually used them in her work as the Emperor's Hand a time or two, they were so strong.

"Is this what you have to do to keep the demons at bay, Luke?" she murmured to herself. "Why won't you let me help you? Stubborn nerf."

Climbing into the bed, Mara lay down on her side facing Luke, who was probably just a shade above coma-level unconsciousness if he was taking those pills. No chance of waking him to further her campaign tonight then. Mara would have to see if he had any more of the meds and if so, she'd see about getting rid of them, with or without his permission.

When Mara awoke the next morning, Luke was already absent from the bed they were sharing platonically. She wondered if he'd built up some resistance to those sleeping pills, because she recalled hearing that they could knock a full-grown man out for up to twelve hours on occasion.

After a quick turn in the refresher, Mara went cautiously in search of her errant farmboy. She took a quick glance out the window, and noted that the sandstorm was still going, but it seemed milder than the day before. Perhaps that meant it was going to end soon. That could help her cause, or it could hurt it. There would be no excuse for her to stay then, but it would be nice to be able to somehow get Luke out of this building where he did nothing but brood.

When she finally found Luke – who knew he could hide so efficiently in this tiny little homestead – Mara realized that the attempted kiss yesterday had perhaps been a bit overzealous on her part. No matter how she tried to engage him in conversation, Luke remained stonily silent. He was cold and distant, and resistant to every overture she tried to make. She even attempted to apologize, something she'd once prided herself on never having to do, for the kiss, but to no avail.

She couldn't even make him angry as she had done the first day she'd arrived on-planet. It was as though he'd thrown up an invisible shield between the two of them. Mara seriously considered resorting to the hold-out blaster she'd never gotten rid of. Oh, she'd set it on stun, to be sure, but right now Luke was seriously making her want to shoot him.

By the time darkness had fallen that evening, the sandstorm had petered out, but he could hardly make her leave right then, as traveling at night on Tatooine was inadvisable for anyone but a sandperson.

Interestingly, Mara noted that the closer it got to what Luke had established as 'bedtime' the last couple of nights, the more agitated he became. It wasn't terribly noticeable, and might have even gone unseen by someone who wasn't watching him as closely as she was.

She'd subtly looked for more sleeping meds during the day and was unable to find any, but she didn't know if that was because he was out, or if he just had them well hidden. However, his behavior the last hour or so was making her think he no longer had a crutch to rely on.

_This night could prove to be the most intriguing one yet_, she thought.

Luke was distinctly ill at ease this time as she defiantly crawled into the bed beside him, but he still didn't say anything, keeping to the vow of silence he'd apparently subscribed to upon waking that morning. She knew for certain that he was out of meds when he didn't fall asleep as quickly as usual, instead quietly fidgeting and moving around on his side of the bed.

Mara wanted to say something to him, but at this point, she didn't know what she could say that wouldn't drive him further away, so she decided to wait it out and see what happened during the night. She was still unaccustomed to listening to the Force willingly, but it was telling her that something was going to break soon and that she just needed to be patient and let it happen.

Anxious for a resolution to this stalemate, Mara tried to stay awake, but when Luke finally drifted off, she found her own eyelids growing heavy as well. It seemed only moments later that a low moan echoing around the small room brought her back to full consciousness.

Luke was moving restlessly, his face twisted in agony in his sleep, muttered words coming from his mouth that she had to strain to make out.

"No…stop…no more, please!...kill me, just kill me, dammit…"

Horrified at his plea, Mara reached out to Luke, trying to wrap her arms around him in an attempt at comfort. At the first touch of her hand on his arm, Luke flinched away, whimpering, "No, leave me alone!"

Determined not to let him go through such suffering alone, Mara increased her efforts to embrace Luke. He fought her, but she was still far more stubborn than any farmboy, and she finally succeeded in wrapping herself around his body. Using one hand to stroke his forehead and cheek, she whispered soothing words into his ear, promising him that she loved him, that she always would, and that she would never let him go.

Eventually, his struggles and mutterings subsided and he fell back into an uneasy slumber, his face still showing the pinched look of someone in great emotional pain. For the first time since she'd found him, Mara wanted to cry with the unfairness that was Luke Skywalker's life at present. He had already endured so much even before Viktor Berdin. Why did it seem to be his fate to have to bear such trials?

She had just begun to drift back into sleep, still holding onto him protectively, when the nightmares began again, seemingly more fierce than before. He cried out, struggled, fought against her, and it was only the fact that he miraculously never awoke that let Mara keep him from flinging her or himself out of the bed completely.

Interspersed with the curses against Berdin were more piteous pleas to let him die, to end his torment, and Mara could feel the tears of hurt and anger sliding down her own cheeks, matching the ones on his. It took nearly half an hour to calm him this time, and afterwards Mara was breathing as heavily as she did after an intense lightsaber battle. As she stroked his sweat-covered brow and softly kissed his temple, Mara marveled that anyone could remain asleep through such horror-filled dreams. Perhaps this was the Force at work? Compelling him to face what he refused to face while he was awake?

If that was so, Mara was more determined than ever to push Luke to face his demons instead of hiding from them. Because seeing him in so much pain was ripping her heart to pieces. Not for the first time, she pondered what Berdin could have done to damage her Jedi so severely. After having faced all that he had during the rebellion, finding out that the Sith Lord he'd believed to have murdered his father, in fact _was_ his father…

After remaining so strong and so steadfast through all of that, what could that monster have done to him that had broken Luke so completely?

Mara barely had the time to contemplate this before the cycle started once more. Luke's subconscious was obviously trying to make up for the fact that he refused to deal with any of this while he was awake. Three more times that night, Luke fell victim to the clutches of a monster in his nightmares while Mara did her best to soothe him back to some semblance of calm.

By the time she'd finally managed to subdue the dreams for the last time, she was more exhausted than she'd ever been in her life. No wonder he looked tired and drawn most of the time, if this was what he normally faced on his own. She hoped that he hadn't developed an addiction to the sleeping pills, or that was another hurdle they'd have to face. She squinted at the chrono beside the bed and saw that it was 0447. They had gone to bed almost seven hours ago, and she had probably only slept about an hour and a half of that.

She prayed that his ordeal was over for the night, because she desperately needed sleep, some real sleep. With one last clumsy kiss to Luke's cheek, Mara closed her eyes and passed out.

* * *

Luke awoke with a jerk, the recollections of his nightmares still vivid in his brain. He gave a shuddering sigh, and closed his eyes again for a brief moment. They hadn't been that bad in a long while and Luke couldn't help but think that the reason for that was Mara being here, stirring up memories he didn't want to think about. 

Feeling a little resentful, he turned his head to look at her, and was surprised to see dark smudges under her eyes, as though she were the one who'd been battling demons during the night. When he looked closer, Luke realized that what he'd thought was a shadow on her cheek was actually a bruise. He didn't recall her having such a mark when they'd gone to bed the previous evening. When he leaned in to have an even closer look, he noted a similar place on her shoulder.

Horrified, Luke glanced down at Mara's arms and realized they were littered with small scrapes and bruises, and one set looked very much as though fingers had wrapped viciously around her forearm. He practically flew out of the bed in his revulsion at what he had obviously done to her during the night. Evidently, she _had_ been battling his demons for him, because she didn't even flinch at his abrupt exit from the bed.

Vaguely, Luke could recall a quiet voice during his reliving of some of Viktor's worst assaults, whispering that he was loved and that he was safe. Most of the time, he'd been too ensnared in the horror of his memories to hear that voice, but it…_she_…had managed to break through a few times. It had seemed to be always right at the point where he'd been certain he was about to lose his mind, about to be forever lost in the madness that Viktor had forced him to endure. Somehow, her soft voice had been able to pull him back from that edge.

And this was how he'd repaid her? Luke could remember fighting Mara, trying desperately to push her away, but she'd never given up. In return for her stubbornness in trying to save him, he'd marked her, bruised that pale skin that he'd once worshipped. Guilt settled over him like a heavy blanket, smothering him with its weight, and Luke shivered as a harsh sob forced its way out of his mouth.

Unable to look at the damage he'd done for one second longer, Luke stumbled out of the tiny bedroom. He was on the verge of a panic attack as he glanced wildly around the living room of his childhood home. Even this place wasn't safe now, not when he'd so brutally hurt the woman he loved more than any other in the galaxy. Luke moaned softly in despair as he wondered where he could go now, what he could possibly do to keep the demons inside where they belonged.

His eyes fell on the small bundle of cloth that rested on a side table, having been virtually undisturbed in all the long months he'd been taking refuge here. Luke walked slowly over to it, unwrapping one end to see his lightsaber, the one he'd been so proud of constructing himself, still torn apart as it had been on the night that his entire world shifted and fell apart.

His panic subsided, and a welcoming sense of numbness took its place. He knew what he had to do now. It was time to stop running from the monster, time to stop it in its tracks and slay it, the same way he'd slain the rancor in Jabba's palace. That had been a mercy killing, really. The beast was being mistreated by the crime lord and his minions, and Luke had done it a favor by putting it out of its misery. No difference here. It was just that this time, the monster was inside of him.

He pondered for a moment if this could be considered breaking the promise he'd made to Darek. Luke knew that the only reason Mondahl had been willing to help him run was that he'd wrangled a vow from the Jedi that he would not try anything to hurt himself. Luke had believed he'd be able to keep his word on that with no problem. After all, he didn't want to die, he just wanted all the pain and the memories to _go away_.

But Darek hadn't kept his promise either, had he? He'd sworn that he would never tell anyone where Luke was, and yet, Mara was here. So, one promise broken for another…what did it matter? And Luke was so ready for this hell to be over.

He folded the cloth back around the mess of wiring and tubing that made up his Jedi weapon and picked it up, heading for the door that led to the garage. It would have to be fixed before he could use it, but that was no problem. Luke was as familiar with this weapon as he was with his own skin.

As he cleared vaporator parts off his workbench to give himself room to work, Luke thought for a moment that using a lightsaber for such a task might be somehow against the will of the Jedi. But then he realized that it was fitting, in a way. He would use this weapon and finally be able to join his father, and Ben, and Yoda. And all his pain would be finished. He would be able to rest at last.

A sudden ripple in the Force made his hands still, and Luke sensed the presence of his father strongly. Anakin didn't seem to be very happy with his son's decision, and Luke's head tilted in bewilderment. Did he not want Luke to be happy, finally? _It doesn't matter_, Luke thought firmly as he frowned and shook his head. Anakin would understand once the deed was done and Luke was reunited with him. After all, had he not sacrificed his own life in much the same way all those years ago on the Death Star?

However, his insistent buzzing in Luke's ear was distracting, so Luke closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment, calling on the Force for the first time in months to firmly block himself from his father's influence. When the air around him was once again quiet and without interruption, Luke opened his eyes and nodded in satisfaction.

Reaching out to grab the tools he would need, Luke settled down to work.

* * *

Someone was yelling and Mara really wanted to tell them to shut the hell up, because couldn't they see she was trying to sleep? It seemed like she hadn't slept for days, and now that she'd finally been able to obtain that blissful state of unconsciousness, Mara was in no way anxious to give it up too soon. 

Grumbling a few curses, she tried to roll over and dive back into the deep sleep she'd been so rudely jolted out of. But that voice would not be quiet. It nudged at her brain, pushing rudely into her mind and making her jerk into the edges of awareness once again.

"Emperor's Hand!"

That shout brought her fully awake and Mara sat up with a gasp. "Master?" she said instinctively.

A rude snort had her looking to her left and her jaw nearly dropped in astonishment.

"Hardly. I took care of him years ago."

"L-lord Vader?" Mara asked hesitantly, because it _sounded_ rather like him, but it certainly didn't _look_ anything like the Sith she remembered. The sight that met her disbelieving eyes was a handsome man, far younger than she would have thought, wearing Jedi robes instead of black armor.

"I no longer go by that name, Hand. My name is Anakin Skywalker. I'm Luke's father," the slightly translucent image said, still sounding almost as imperious as he had when he was alive.

"I know that," Mara snapped, and thought that he also seemed just as annoying now as when he'd been alive. Her interactions with her Master's Apprentice had always been somewhat tense. "For your information, I no longer answer to the title of Emperor's Hand. My name is Mara Jade."

For a moment, Anakin's eyes sparked and Mara thought it seemed as though he really wanted to argue with her, but then he sighed and looked at her intently.

"Very well, _Mara_," Anakin said, stressing her name sarcastically. "By the Force, you're a sound sleeper. I've been trying to wake you for almost an hour!" he complained.

"Yes, well, I had a bit of a rough night, if you must know. Why are you here?" she asked bluntly.

At that, a look of worry crossed the Force ghost's visage, and Mara saw in that moment how much Luke truly resembled his father.

"Luke is about to do something extremely foolish and you're the only one who can stop him."

Instantly, all of Mara's annoyance at being pulled out of a much-needed sleep and having to talk to her former rival vanished. She leapt out of the bed, only then realizing that the house was eerily silent. Normally, she could hear Luke moving around when she got up, but now, there was no noise at all from the rest of the house.

"What do you mean? What is he going to do?" she asked as she hastily searched for clothes to throw on.

"He's going to take a dangerous step, a final step. One that he will be unable to undo, Mara Jade. He's planning to take his own life," Anakin said grimly.

Mara paused in shock in the middle of yanking on her pants. "What? But he…no…no, he can't do that!"

"But he's going to, if you can't get to him and stop him!" Anakin said, and he was starting to sound as panicked as she was.

"Why didn't you stop him?" Mara demanded, fastening her pants and stripping off the sleep shirt she wore without care for Anakin seeing anything, before grabbing a tunic from a pile of clothes at the foot of the bed. She shivered as she realized it was Luke's, but didn't take the time to change it as she searched for her boots.

"He's blocked himself from me. I can't even tell where he is right now."

"What, he's left the farm?" Mara asked in shock.

Anakin followed as Mara moved through the living room, anxiously looking for any sign of Luke as she did so. She hurried out to the garage, dismayed to find it empty, but it looked as though he'd been there recently, if the tools strewn about were any sign.

"He could be a few meters away and I'd have no clue. He's completely masked his Force presence. You have to find him soon, Jade. I have the feeling that time is running out."

Mara gasped, her breathing quick and shallow as she felt the helplessness wash over her. "But where do I look? So much space, and he could be anywhere!"

"He's blocked me, but perhaps he hasn't blocked you. Can you sense him in the Force?" Anakin asked.

Mara gave a jerky little nod and said, "I'll try."

"Do or-"

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence," she said with a fierce glare.

"What, you think Yoda didn't say that to every single padawan he ever instructed?" Anakin said with a smirk.

With a growl of irritation, Mara ignored him and closed her eyes, opening herself to the Force as Luke had shown her how to do so many times. But apparently, Luke had closed himself off from everything, because she could get no sense of him at all. She only hoped that didn't mean that he'd already done what he had set out to do.

"No, if he'd accomplished it, I would know _that_," Anakin interrupted.

"Get out of my head, Skywalker," Mara said automatically. A wry grin crossed her lips when she realized who she was speaking to.

Anakin's smirk simply widened, but she could still read the worry in his eyes.

Mara closed her eyes again and concentrated not on Luke himself, but on the Force instead, and whatever it might be able to tell her. And suddenly, she _knew_. The one other spot on this miserable planet that would mean something to Luke.

"Tell me how to get to Obi-Wan Kenobi's hut!" she demanded when she opened her eyes again.

Anakin looked startled for a second, as though wondering why he hadn't thought of that, and then he grinned.

Two minutes later, Mara's speederbike was flying over the dunes of Tatooine, heading towards a tiny isolated hovel, determined to stop her farmboy from ever leaving her again.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Here's the next part and the angst hits an all time high here, folks! But I think you'll like how this one ends. (wink)**

**And I have to say a quick thank you to Tim and Traci for helping me over a rough spot in this chapter. Thanks, y'all, I don't think this part would have worked without your fantastic input!**

* * *

Mara's speederbike skidded to a stop several meters away from the hut that had once been the hideaway for one of the last Jedi Knights in the galaxy. She was thankful that Anakin had known the coordinates of this place, because if Mara hadn't been given the exact location, she might have overlooked it altogether. The small home was cleverly disguised to blend in with the surrounding cliffs and Mara could see how Obi-Wan had escaped capture as long as he had. 

Taking a deep breath, Mara started towards the run-down hut, hoping against hope that Luke was indeed here, and praying to as many deities as she could think of that he hadn't done anything really stupid yet. It was eerily quiet, and Mara could feel a dull sense of dread building in her gut. _Oh, Force, please let him still be alive in there…_

Finally, just as she got to the door of the hut, the quiet scrape of a foot against the covering of sand on the floor reached her ears. The tension that had been straining her shoulders eased just a tiny bit as she searched the gloomy interior of the building for the origin of the noise.

Seeing Luke sitting on a sagging sofa, Mara wanted to let loose with a cry of joy. She restrained herself, not wanting to startle him. He was sitting with his elbows braced on his knees, head hanging forward looking down at the lightsaber that he was twisting in his hands. Mara recognized it as his own, the one he'd made himself before going to the second Death Star to confront his father and her former Master. She remembered seeing it, still in need of rebuilding, at the Lars place when she'd arrived, but hadn't felt it was the right time to bring it up with him then.

Now it was repaired, looking as familiar in his hands as it always had back on Coruscant and on Yavin those few times she'd stopped by the Jedi Academy. A cold chill passed through Mara, making her shiver involuntarily, as she realized this was the instrument he'd chosen to end his life. That was…just _wrong_.

Hoping to end this quickly, Mara reached out with the Force to the lightsaber held so casually in his hands. Unfortunately, she'd obviously been putting off that training that Luke had been haranguing her to take for too long, because as soon as he felt the lightsaber shift in his hand, his grip tightened instinctively and his head shot up in surprise.

Mara cursed silently as he gave her a look mixed with shock and indignation. She returned it with a fierce glare of her own. They held that staring contest for a moment more, before he stood up.

"What are you doing here?" he asked quietly.

"I think it's pretty obvious what I'm doing here, Skywalker. I'm here to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life," Mara replied.

"You may think it's a mistake, but it's not, Mara. It's what I have to do. To make things better for everyone."

"No, Luke, it _is_ a mistake, and a very selfish one at that. What do you think this would do to Leia? To Han and the children? To _me_?"

He gave a sardonic little laugh and Mara's blood froze at the hopelessness she could sense behind it. "Maybe I'm tired of thinking of everyone else in the galaxy first. I've been putting everyone else's thoughts and feelings ahead of my own for half my life. Maybe this time, I'm thinking of me first, because this pain has to go away, Mara," he said, his voice growing thick with emotion. He shook his head, as though he hadn't meant to let that show, but continued anyway. "I'm just ready for it to _go away_."

"But this is not the only way to do that, Luke! You have other options," she said, and took a step closer to him.

He immediately tensed up and faced her as one ready to do battle, gripping the lightsaber tightly in his hand, holding it ready as though he were about to face her in combat. Mara grimaced, but acknowledged his agitated state by taking a step backwards. The longer she could delay him igniting that saber until she could get it away from him, the better.

"Options," he scoffed. "What options?"

"You could talk to me, tell me what's going on with you. Let me help you deal with it," she said coaxingly.

"Talk to you!" he said, and let out a laugh that was definitely edging towards the hysterical. He lifted his empty hand to push it roughly through his hair, and stared at her in disbelief. "That was the problem on Coruscant. Everyone just kept saying, 'Oh, if you just _talk_ about it, Luke, you'll feel better.' I don't want to kriffing talk about it! It just needs to. Go. Away. And this…" he said and waved the lightsaber at her mockingly, "…is how I can make sure that happens."

"Don't you think your solution to this is a little too final?" Mara said, trying to get him to think logically and get out of this loop he seemed determined to continue going round in.

"That's what makes it perfect. I won't ever have to worry about it again," Luke said, just a tad smugly. "Tell me, Mara, were you ever captured when you were doing your work as the Emperor's Hand?" he asked, interrupting what would have been her argument against the 'perfection' of his plan.

It took her a moment to answer, as she was wondering where that question had suddenly come from. But anything that took his mind off that lightsaber, even temporarily, was a good thing in her opinion.

"No, I wasn't. I only ever had one failed mission in my years of service to the Emperor, and I thank the Force for that one every day," she said deliberately.

He blinked at her in surprise, and half-turned his head away as he gave a weak snort of denial. Mara knew that he remembered the same as her that she'd always teased him about being the one that had 'gotten away'. She caught a glimpse of a tiny smile at the corner of his mouth, and that involuntary gesture gave her a ridiculous spark of hope that they could get through this ordeal with both their skins intact.

He scowled in an obvious effort to shake away the brief memory of that shared camaraderie, and snarled, "If you've never been held against your will, then you have no idea what it's like. Remembering. Remembering all the things that he did, the things that he said, and how much he…hurt me…" Luke's voice began to break as the memories became too much to bear again. "How much everything still _hurts_…and I just want it to stop!"

He was growing ever more agitated, starting to pace back and forth in short, little steps, and Mara could see his thumb anxiously stroking the switch on his lightsaber. She was on the verge of panic, desperately wishing that she had Leia's skill with diplomacy and knowing just the right thing to say, because she needed some sort of magic words to make him see how wrong this was.

"Tell me what I can do to help, Luke! I want to help make the hurt go away, but you have to let me-"

"There's nothing you can do, nothing anyone can do! I have to do this!" he screamed, and abruptly brought the lightsaber up to hold it against his chest, pointing inward so that when he ignited it, the saber would immediately impale him.

Mara swore that her heart stopped beating for moment as she froze in utter fear that she was not going to be able to stop this. She was a former assassin, what the hells did she know about _stopping_ people from dying? He was going to kill himself and she would lose him forever and she would die without him, and she could not let this happen! Shaking herself free from that momentary stupor, Mara reached out to him with her hands.

"Luke, I can't let you do this. I _won't_ let you do this!"

"You can't stop me, Mara. I'm sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you, but this will be better. You can move on now, and Han and Leia have each other and the kids, so they'll be fine, too," Luke said.

Mara saw that the manic gleam in his eyes had dulled to a quiet determination, and knew she had to act soon or it would truly be too late.

"Luke, please…" she gasped, trying to figure out those elusive magic words.

"I don't want to do this in front of you, Mara, but I will. I swear I will. Don't make me hurt you anymore than I already have," he said, and he half-turned away from her as though he couldn't face her while he destroyed his life and hers.

And she saw her chance then. Mara grabbed at it with everything that she had, and reflected in that brief instant that she'd always been a woman of action rather than words anyway.

Calling on the Force, and on every bit of training she'd ever had while in the Emperor's service, Mara leapt across the distance separating them and plastered herself against his back. She wrapped one arm under his armpit and up and across the back of his neck to hold him – silently thanking the gods that he wasn't that much taller than she was – and reached around to grip the wrist of the hand holding the lightsaber with her other hand.

"Mara! What-" He started in shock and anger as he flinched and tried to throw her off.

She held on like a mynock as she leaned her head forward to whisper in his ear. "You go ahead then, Luke. You go ahead and kill yourself and when you do, you'll kill me, too. But it doesn't matter, because my life was meaningless before you came into it, and it will be just as empty if you leave it," she hissed.

Luke stilled and for a moment, she thought he was still going to thumb that switch on anyway. Mara closed her eyes, trying to prepare herself for the blade piercing her body. Then she felt him begin to tremble, small tremors that reverberated through his whole body, and she knew hope once more.

"Not fair. Not…fair!" he choked, and his body was beginning to sag.

"Maybe I've decided to be selfish, too, Skywalker. I promised to be with you forever. Whether it's in this life or the next one is up to you, but I'm not going anywhere without you ever again," Mara vowed.

A tiny whimpering sound of distress came from Luke as shudders began to wrack his body. He slumped and fell to his knees, Mara still holding on and going with him. Her hold on him changed to more of a hug as she loosened her grip on his neck and stroked the side of his face tenderly. She breathed a sigh of relief as the lightsaber slipped from slackened fingers and dropped with a thunk to the floor, rolling away from them.

She had begun to think that the storm had passed, when his body suddenly tensed again and Luke screamed, so loud and long and raw that it startled her…and Mara understood that the storm was really just beginning. She held on tighter as the scream finally wound its way to an end, and then he was crying. More like sobbing, actually, his breathing harsh and rapid as anguish poured off of him in waves.

Mara pressed herself up against his back and started murmuring soft reassurances in his ear, much as she had done for the nightmares the previous night. Continuous whispers of 'I'm here' 'It's okay' 'You're all right now' and 'I've got you, I've got you' and gradually Luke's ragged sobs slowed as he calmed down.

She wasn't sure how long the two of them lay there, Mara's whispers of comfort having dwindled to simply soft shushing sounds as she continued to stroke him. She hadn't been allowed to touch him like this in so long, it was as though she couldn't stop once she started.

They had slid down to where they were lying completely on the floor of Obi-Wan's hut, Luke on his side and Mara still curled around his back, her arms wrapped around him. Hesitantly, one of his hands came up to gently grasp the one that was pressed against his chest, and Mara had to keep quiet her shout of joy at that little sign of him reaching out to her. Sneaking a peek at his face, she saw that he was calmer, but seemed to be drained, his expression showing his exhaustion.

His defenses were completely down, shattered by the emotional confrontation they'd had, and Mara knew there would never be a better time to get him to talk about what had happened. As much as she felt like she was taking advantage, she felt it was necessary, because he was never going to get past this if he never dealt with it.

"Luke, what did he do to you?" she asked softly.

His eyes fell closed and a shudder passed through his body, and for a moment, she thought he was still going to refuse to answer. But then he opened his eyes and caught her gaze and she saw that he had nothing left to resist her with.

Still, he dropped his eyes back to the floor before he finally answered her, in a voice so low she had to strain to hear it even in the utter silence that surrounded them.

"He raped me," Luke whispered.

She watched as his jaw clenched and he kept his gaze lowered, as though he was ashamed to look at her, to have her look at him. Mara blinked back the tears she felt coming in her sympathy to his pain and softly kissed his shoulder.

"Oh, my poor love," she said tenderly.

He let out a little sigh at her words, and then it was as if, by her quiet acceptance, the floodgates opened and he began to talk of what had happened to him.

"He tried to suffocate me first. He pushed my face into the mattress and I could feel myself about to pass out. I thought maybe the game was finally over and he was going to let me die, but then he-" his voice broke a little, but Luke took a deep breath and then continued, "All of a sudden his body was on top of mine and he was holding me down and he was breathing on the back of my neck…"

Again, he had to pause for a moment, and Mara just squeezed her arms around him a little harder, telling him without words that she would never leave him.

"Then he was…he was…_there_…and Force, it hurt so much! I think I went into shock or something, because then I couldn't feel anything. Couldn't see anything, hear anything, and it was such a _relief_. Because I was so tired by that point, Mara. I tried to be strong, to resist everything he did to me. The beatings, the whippings, when he choked me, when he half-electrocuted me. But when he did that, I just…I couldn't be strong anymore. It was too much, and I wanted it to be over. I wanted to die."

"Oh, Luke, I am so sorry," Mara said.

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do this to me," Luke said dully.

"I'm sorry that we didn't find you sooner, but we were looking. I swear to you we never gave up for a moment searching for you."

"I know that," he said, and patted her hand awkwardly.

"Why did you run?" she asked, and tried to keep the note of betrayal out of her voice. She wasn't entirely sure that she succeeded because he winced just a little.

"Because I just couldn't think about it anymore. Berdin hurt my body, but remembering it constantly was destroying my head, and I didn't want it anymore. I just wanted it to go away."

"But why run from _me_, Luke? I would have done anything to help you. After all the many times you've done the same for me, don't you think I would have done whatever I could to help you?"

He shivered in her arms and risked a quick glance at her, but quickly looked away again.

"Because I was filthy and disgusting, and you deserve better than that," he muttered.

Mara bit back the instinctive denials that wanted to fly out of her mouth, knowing they would probably do more harm than good at this point. She realized they'd been lying on the sand-covered floor of Obi-Wan's hut for quite some time now, and it was beginning to get a little uncomfortable.

She let go of him reluctantly and got to her feet. Holding her hand out towards him, she said, "Come on, Skywalker, let's head back to your aunt and uncle's place where we can get cleaned up and decide what we're going to do from here."

"Okay," he said quietly, and docilely allowed her to help him up.

Mara worried that the events of the day might have been too much for him to handle all at once, as Luke didn't even notice when she reached down to pick up his lightsaber, attaching it securely to her own belt. He seemed to be in a bit of a daze as he followed her outside, watching without saying a word as she lashed the speederbike to the landspeeder. She didn't want to push too much at once and so didn't say anything as he sat in the passenger seat staring out at the swiftly passing horizon while she drove the distance back to the Lars homestead.

She was starting to fear that he was slipping back into that place that he'd escaped to right after they'd gotten him away from Berdin, because even as they pulled up to the Lars place, Luke made no move to get out of the speeder. So, she walked around to his side, and took him by the elbow, gently leading him out of the seat and guiding him into the house.

Mara led him to the sofa in the living room and pushed him carefully down onto it. Luke hadn't said a word since they'd left Obi-Wan's place and she was beginning to get a little nervous. When he did speak, she actually jumped a little to her embarrassment.

"How can you even stand to look at me now?" he said, his voice lifeless.

"Because I love you, Luke, and what happened to you was not your fault," she said firmly.

He flinched and kept his eyes glued to the floor, and Mara had had about enough of that. Impulsively – which was odd, because Mara Jade was never impulsive – she strode over to where he was sitting and plopped herself down onto his lap, her knees falling to either side of his hips as she reached up to take his face in her hands. Luke started in surprise, but thankfully made no move to push her away.

"I am not going away, and I'm not going to let you run anymore, so you'd better get used to that idea."

"Mara, I can't…" he said, the whine creeping back into his tone. "You would be better off with someone like Lando."

"Lando! Now you're just talking crazy talk, Skywalker," she scoffed. "You're twice the man Calrissian is."

"Not anymore," Luke said sullenly. He tried to turn his face away, but she held on firmly, unwilling to let him hide any longer. "You must think I'm so weak."

"No, I would never think that of you, Luke. You've taken so much weight on your shoulders that I think…I think you're a little bowed, but you're unbroken. Not many people would be able to function after what you've been through. But you don't have to hold that weight all by yourself," she said, and then thought she must be channeling Leia after all, because suddenly she knew exactly what to say to get through to him. "Whisper your weakness to me, and I will lend you my strength," she said, determination ringing in the words.

Luke sucked in a shocked breath and his wide-eyed gaze met hers. She smiled at him and nodded.

"It works both ways, remember?" she asked.

Luke nodded, again seeming a little dazed. He opened his mouth to try and respond, but Mara simply put her finger over his lips and shushed him.

"You don't have to say anything right now, Luke. Just know that I'm here," she promised.

And then she leaned in and kissed him.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: The moment you've all been waiting for! The Return of the SMUT! (big ol' grin) This is the beginning of the healing (at last) for Luke, and there's an epilogue to follow that will hopefully tie things up a bit. Thank you to everyone who's still with this story. I swear to you that I did not mean to drag it out this long. That damned thing called Real Life just got in the way a little too often.**

**A few special thank you's:**

**To Sherry, for taking all that time to continue posting this and all the stories that SSB'ers write on the SSB archive. I know that several people found my writing due to that site, so thanks, Sherry! And thanks to all my fellow SSB members, too. Y'all are the best!**

**To Karen, for continually nagging...er, I mean encouraging me to finish this. Just kidding, Sith Sister, you know I love ya, and there were many times when you did actually spur me into writing when I otherwise didn't feel like it! Hugs**

**To Traci and Tim (again), for their help with a critical part of the story, and for all of Traci's encouragement (not just on this story, Traci has listened patiently to me whine about school, my son's surgery, my Rat Bastard ex-husband, etc.) She's such a sweetheart and I love her dearly! **

**Also, thanks to Traci and Karen both for putting up with me when I crashed with them this past July, bringing my son and my cell-phone-addicted nephew with me!**

**To Donna, for your continued loyalty to this story, even when it looked like I would never finish it! And look! Here at last is the bootknocking you've been asking for since chapter 22!!**

**To every reader who took the time to read my story and give me feedback, I appreciate it SO much! I don't write specifically for feedback, and I'd continue to post my stories even if I got zero response on them, but it sure is nice to see that so many of you liked my version of the GFFA enough to let me know with a little note. Thanks from the bottom of my heart! **

**And now, the last chapter of _Whisper Your Weakness_!**

* * *

Luke froze as Mara's mouth closed tenderly over his, and when he gasped, she took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, sliding her tongue into his mouth. His senses reeled, overwhelmed at everything that had been thrown at him in the last few hours. For a moment, he forgot all of that, and just let himself float away in the bliss that was Mara kissing him.

But as it always did, Viktor's harsh laughter began echoing in his ears and Luke pulled away from her with a whimper of distress. He felt torn at the frustration evident on her face and tried to apologize.

"Mara, I'm sorry, but I just _can't_. He won't go away, I can still hear him, he won't go away."

Again, she put her hands on either side of his face and refused to let him look away from her. "Listen to me. _Look_ at me. Viktor is gone. He can't hurt you anymore. This is me, and I love you and I would never hurt you."

"I know that, I do. But when you touch me…in that way…I can't help but remember what he did," Luke said in a small voice, feeling ashamed. He could see Mara trying to be patient and knew how difficult that must be for her. She'd never been known for her patience.

"Okay, how about this? You just sit here and relax. Let me show you how much I love you by touching you. We'll take it at your pace so you're in control and if you want to stop, then we'll stop."

"I don't think-"

"That's just it, Skywalker. I want you to stop thinking and just feel," Mara whispered, and as she was speaking, her soft hands were sliding down to caress his shoulders.

Still unsure of himself, but wanting this more than he'd wanted anything in so long, Luke sat back against the sofa and tried to relax as her fingers trailed along his arms, gently kneading his tense muscles in a loving massage. He closed his eyes, doing his best to keep concentrating on Mara, and pushing Viktor out of his head.

An ache began building in the pit of his belly and Luke couldn't help but remember, now that he was allowing himself to do so, how wonderful the physical relationship between himself and Mara had been. Of the few lovers that he'd had in his life, there had never been a reaction to anyone as intense as the one he'd felt for Mara Jade.

She was taking things extremely slowly, softly caressing the length of his arms with her hands and then she raised his hand to her mouth, gently kissing each one of his fingers one by one. His other hand got the same treatment and then she leaned forward to press her cheek against his shoulder, and he could feel her soft breath on the skin of his neck. Luke tensed for just a moment, Viktor's ghost rearing its ugly head in his memory.

Mara sensed his reaction and whispered, "Me, Luke. It's Mara, not him."

Luke kept his eyes closed but nodded shakily and released the breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. She waited a moment for him to calm a bit, and then pressed her lips to the side of his neck in a tender kiss. That one was followed by several more feather-light kisses to his face, so delicate that he could barely feel them on his skin. Luke squirmed a little, that ache in his belly growing a bit stronger as long-forgotten feelings began fluttering through his veins.

It was when he felt Mara's fingers begin to undo the buttons on his shirt that his panic flared once more. His eyes flew open and he stopped her motions with his hands on hers.

"Don't," he said, cringing a little at the fear evident in his voice.

"Why?" Mara asked gently, carefully not being accusing or demanding.

"I don't…the scars. I don't want you to see them."

She gave him a gentle smile. "I've seen your scars, Luke."

"These are worse," he whispered, ashamed.

"Looking at your scars could never be worse than never getting to look at you or touch you again," she said, her voice low but firm.

As he gazed at her, Luke could see the conviction of truth in her eyes, and some part of him was quietly astonished that she'd gone to so much trouble to look for him, to fight for him. He knew in that instant that he could never run away from this woman ever again. Luke had thought that he'd needed to be alone to heal from the wounds Viktor had inflicted, but looking back now, he realized how incredibly wrong he'd been. _Mara loved him_. She loved him enough to chase him halfway across the galaxy. Luke decided that it was time he let her catch him.

"Fear," he said quietly as he continued to hold her gaze.

She tilted her head to the side, a quizzical look on her face. He squeezed the hand that his was holding, trying to find the courage to open up and show her everything.

"That's my weakness, Mara. Fear so strong and so deep that it's paralyzing. I can't…I can't get past this-" he said.

"But you can, Luke!" she protested.

"-not by myself," he continued deliberately, briefly ignoring her interruption.

Gazing at her intently, he silently willed her to understand what he meant so he wouldn't have to shame himself any further by asking for what he needed out loud. Luke watched as the realization dawned in her eyes and her smile was so bright that it almost blinded him. He'd only ever seen that smile on her once before in his life…and it was on the happiest night he'd ever known, the night when Mara had admitted her own fears to him and given him her heart. Luke was desperate to have that feeling back again.

She leaned forward and kissed him and Luke gasped, both in surprise and in delight at the pleasure that instantly roiled through him. Mara reluctantly pulled away from his mouth and cupped his face with both her hands.

"I swear to you, Luke Skywalker, that everything I have to give is yours. No holding back ever again," she said, her voice thick with emotion.

"No holding back," Luke agreed, his own voice husky as well. "I love you, Mara. So much that I can't begin to tell you," he said, and now he was getting choked with tears.

"I love you, too. Let me show you how much," she whispered, and her hands fell back to the buttons on his shirt.

Luke tensed again, but didn't stop her this time, just watched as she slowly peeled the shirt away to reveal his scarred torso. To his relief, Mara didn't flinch or show disgust. Instead she looked up at him with a tender smile before she glanced back down to trace the new scars gracefully, first with her fingers, and then she leaned down to trail along them with her mouth.

Luke's body tensed again, this time for an entirely different reason. His head fell back onto the sofa, his hips instinctively surging upwards as a helpless groan slipped past his lips. It had been so _long_ and he had been _stupid_, so stupid to deny himself this, to reject the love and desire Mara had for him. With an effort, Luke let go of all his fears, all the insidious little worries that had been hammering at his head and soul for all these months. He let them all go and gave himself up to Mara's touches and her love.

He gasped aloud when Mara's mouth drifted down from his stomach to breathe softly over the erection that was slowly growing from her attentions. Luke hadn't been hard in so long, he'd half worried that the thing wouldn't work anymore. Those fears were laid to rest as Mara's fingers nimbly unfastened the snaps on his pants and slid her hand inside to caress the bare skin of his cock. Luke moaned, his hips snapping upward as his fingers dug into the fabric of the sofa.

Then he felt the wet heat of her mouth closing over the head of his cock and his eyes flew open as he jerked his head up to look down at her. He couldn't resist bringing his hands forward to rest gently on the back of her head as she began to go down on him in earnest, carding his fingers through that flame-colored hair that he'd missed so much without even realizing it.

"Oh, my gods. Oh, Mara! So good…" he breathed.

Mara looked up at Luke from between his thighs and somehow managed to smirk even with her mouth full, her eyes twinkling at him mischievously. She pulled off him with a dramatic little flourish, her tongue swirling around the sensitive tip, making a shudder run through Luke's entire body. He watched as she quickly and methodically stripped her clothes off. His eyes drank in the mesmerizing view of her naked body and he sat quietly while she then lifted his feet to pull his boots off one at a time.

Her hands reached up to grasp the waistline of his pants, slowly tugging them over his hips. As she did, Mara leaned back up and pressed her mouth against the tender skin of his balls. Luke groaned as he felt her teeth lightly graze his ever-tightening sac, the warmth of her breath making him immediately break into a sweat. She raised up once more, and an involuntary whimper of disappointment was pulled from him, but he calmed once he realized she was only moving away long enough to continue taking his clothes off.

His shirt and his underwear joined the growing pile of garments on the floor and at last, the two of them were completely bare. Mara slid her hands up the length of Luke's thighs, pausing to stroke his fully hard cock a few times before she stood and deposited herself onto his lap.

Her hips flexed against him a few times, sending arrows of pleasure from his groin all the way up to his chest. Instinctively, his arms wrapped around her, pulling her into full contact with his body. Mara shivered and threw her head backwards as she ground her pelvis against his a little more urgently.

Luke tilted his head forward to put his lips to her breast and Mara gasped as he sucked her nipple deeply into his mouth. But after only a moment, she gently pushed his head away and he looked up at her in confusion.

"This is about you, not me," she said softly.

"But-" he tried to protest.

She put one finger on his lips, silencing him before he could get started.

"Indulge me."

He looked deeply into her eyes, and caught a glimpse of the tiny plea there, and realized this moment, this act, was as critical for her as it was for him. She _needed_ to do this for him, as much as he _needed_ for her to be able to do it. Shakily, he nodded, and let go of her to lean once more against the back of the sofa, offering himself up to her mercy. But he wasn't scared, because he trusted her, with everything that he was, and he tried to let her see that in his gaze. Mara's tender smile let him know that she understood.

She leaned forward again to cover his mouth with her own, the kiss so intense that it seemed to be a promise in and of itself. Then she pulled away slowly, their lips still clinging to each other until the last possible moment. Deliberately, Mara raised up on her knees and reached one hand down to guide his cock to her wet entrance. Luke tilted his head back, breathing in sharply through his nose, nostrils flaring as she slid downwards slowly, completely enveloping him within the depths of her body.

His breathing quickened and he felt on the verge of hyperventilating as his body tried to process everything he was feeling. It was heat, pleasure, satisfaction; dizzying in its power. He was surrounded, encased in warmth, protected_, loved_. And then she began to move and everything increased tenfold. Luke couldn't hold back a cry of ecstasy as his hands moved to grip her hips tightly, wordlessly encouraging her movements to become faster and harder.

Just when he thought that nothing could possibly be better than the sensations her every move caused, Luke felt the gentle nudging of her presence against the heavy shields he'd continually kept erected around his Force essence. His eyes flew open and he stared at her in shock. She smiled at him, continuing to love him with her body while she pressed on the shields a little more insistently.

She moved forward to breathe in his ear, "Let me in. You know it's where we belong, Luke. I've missed you so much…"

He was unsure, having closed that part of himself off for so long that he felt a little frightened to risk it again. But he had trusted her so far, how could he not now? Hesitantly, he dropped the shields, letting her Force presence wash over him and mingle with his. Instantly, every emotion, every sense became so enhanced that it was staggering in its intensity.

Both of them cried out in amazement, their movements pausing for just a moment to allow their overwhelmed bodies and senses to adjust. Luke was lightheaded, almost drunk, at the joy that rushed through him as their Force bond quickly reestablished itself. It was like finding paradise after wandering in the desert for years and years and Luke couldn't believe what an idiot he'd been to deny this to the both of them.

Mara laughed softly. "I forgive you, love."

"You're too good for me," he gasped.

"Oh, no. Not true, Skywalker. We are perfect for each other. Now let me remind you just how good Force-enhanced sex can be," Mara said, with a wicked little smirk.

Mara more than made good on her promise as she moved sinuously over his body. Luke was on fire, tiny darts of pleasure skimming under and over his skin as she pushed him closer and closer to his peak. He tried to hold back, to wait for her to get there first, and finally, thank the Force, he heard her gasp loudly and Luke managed to open his eyes long enough to see her throw her head back. Mara's inner walls clenched around him rhythmically, as her fingernails dug sharply into his shoulders.

Luke's awareness tightened, focused in on the intimate connection they shared both physically and in the Force, until it flooded his mind. And then it exploded, bursting outwards into such intense pleasure that he could see nothing but stars behind his eyelids and he cried out in astonishment. It seemed to last forever, but eventually it began to fade, the very air around them shimmering with the aftershocks as he slowly came back to reality. When he opened his eyes, Mara was watching him with a smile on her face, and it was the most tender, beautiful smile he'd ever seen.

He felt so much emotion that he couldn't even begin to put his thoughts into words – love, desire, gratitude, regret, a little fear – each of them seemed to be battling for dominance within his fevered brain. Luke wanted to tell Mara that he loved her; that he thought she was the most wonderful woman in the entire galaxy; that he'd missed her; that he was sorry he'd hurt her by running away; that he was so thankful she'd chased him down; and one tiny part of him worried that she would decide he wasn't worth the trouble. He opened his mouth, and found that his voice was lost, so overwhelmed was he by what had just happened between the two of them.

Mara smiled wider at him, and tucked a finger under his chin, pushing his jaw closed before she leaned in to kiss him softly.

"I promised before, Luke. I will never let you go again. Everything will be all right, I swear it," she vowed.

The last of his fears fell away as he returned her smile. Because she was Mara, and she was his, and she believed in him. And so he believed in her.


	32. Epilogue

**A/N: And here's the end (really, this time!) of the story. I hope y'all have enjoyed the ride. I know I did (most of the time, when I wasn't stressing...)**

**See you next time!**

**

* * *

Epilogue**

Narrowed green eyes watched as her husband's opponent attempted to sneak up on him. Mara was pondering whether she should send a little warning over their bond to the Jedi Master, but decided that if he wasn't paying attention, then he deserved whatever he got.

What he got was a wet head from a hastily thrown water bomb, and a ton of giggles as the villain made his quick escape. Luke gasped and whirled around just in time to see a tiny body try to hide behind one of the potted plants in the Solo garden.

"I see you, Aric! And you'll pay for soaking daddy like that!" Luke growled playfully and swooped in to grab his son up into his arms before he could get away. The toddler squealed helplessly as Luke immediately initiated a tickle attack.

"Daddy, you'll make Aric tinkle in his pants if you keep doing that," an exasperated voice said from beside Mara. The redhead had to stifle her laughter at the scolding tone from the three-year-old.

Luke looked up at his daughter with an abashed grin. "You're right, sweetheart. I should stop."

Aric, breathless from laughter, heaved a sigh of relief.

"I _should_ stop…" Luke said, and turned back to the child who was sprawled across his lap, with an evil grin on his face. "…but I won't! I will have my revenge!" And the tickle attack continued unabated until Aric was gasping for air.

"Boys. So silly," Aryn said, with a little cluck of her tongue, and then she went back to working on her latest drawing.

Mara exchanged a grin with her sister-in-law, who was sitting beside her, both of them relaxing in the afternoon Coruscant sun. It had long amused everyone familiar with the Jade-Skywalker family how Aric was so much a mixture of his mother and father, yet his twin Aryn had somehow grown into a little carbon copy of her Aunt Leia.

Mara was about to comment again on how unfair it was that Leia had somehow used her body to produce a second daughter when there was a cry from the doorway to the garden.

"Pile on Uncle Luke!" Anakin and Jaina Solo shouted as they rushed forward and commenced with their attack. Poor Luke was helpless to stop them as two of the Solo children leapt upon him and tickled whatever spots they could reach. Aric was delighted to have the tables turned on his father and gleefully joined in the fray.

The shrieking grew to frightening decibel levels until Leia finally whistled sharply, causing all of the combatants to pause and look up at her.

"That's enough of that," she said firmly.

The slightly guilty look on her husband's face made Mara snicker quietly, although truthfully, she was thrilled to see Luke enjoying himself so much with his family. There'd been a time when she believed, when they all believed, that they'd never see that smile again.

Mara didn't like to think on the events of four years ago too often, but she also never wanted to forget either. To forget would mean letting her guard down and not being careful, and that would never happen again, she had sworn to herself it would not.

Luke had far more 'protectors' than he knew…his wife, his sister and brother-in-law, his fellow Jedi, his former pilot comrades…all of them had sworn that Luke would never have to suffer again like Viktor Berdin had made him suffer.

Even when he had finally agreed to come back to Coruscant with her, his recovery had not been easy. He was still skittish about being around too many people, being touched, and anyone who tried to get him to talk about what had happened during his captivity got their heads bitten off. Eventually, he had grudgingly admitted that he needed to talk to someone about what he'd been through.

Mara would have loved for that person to have been herself, but she knew that Luke needed someone a bit more distant from the situation that he could confide in. After some intense discussions and arguments about whom they could trust, they'd decided to ask Cilghal. Luke already trusted her and as a healer, she was familiar with patients needing to work through personal trauma. And as a Jedi herself, she could also help Luke with reconnecting to the Force after he'd cut himself off from it for so long.

It had been a long and tenuous journey, with several setbacks along the way, one of which was when Mara had realized that their time together on Tatooine had resulted in her getting pregnant. She'd been so busy worrying and searching for Luke in the six months after he'd run away, that she hadn't given a second thought to her monthly contraceptive hypospray. And it had definitely been the last thing on her mind that day.

Luke didn't react well at first, which caused Mara to feel alone and hurt, but Cilghal had managed to get him to admit that he was scared of being able to be a good father, messed up as he was at the time. Surprisingly, Han was the one who'd been able to talk him through that fear. He told Luke about how nervous he was when Leia had told him she was pregnant with Jacen and Jaina. Besides all the havoc that was going on in the galaxy at the time, Han had feared he'd be a rotten father, never having had any kind of example as to how to be one.

Luke had listened, still a little skeptical, but then had laughed when Han offered to show him all of his 'father of the year' awards. Han had sworn that Luke had just never been in his trophy room, that was all, but there were in there, really! Leia had had to duck out of the room quickly as she was suddenly teary-eyed at seeing her beloved twin laugh so freely, the first time he'd done so since he came home.

He had been right at Mara's side from that moment on, and when the babies were born, Luke had been so emotionally caught up in the moment that he'd asked Mara to marry him again. She had returned to him the ring he'd bought so long ago, telling him to give it to her again when he felt ready. Mara was horrified that she cried a little, already sensitive as she was at having just given birth, when she saw that Luke had had the forethought to have the ring with him. When he slid it onto her finger, she said yes tearfully, and then made him promise not to tell anyone that she'd been so disgustingly weepy.

Gradually, his sessions with Cilghal had become less and less frequent, until this past year, he'd only felt the need to see her on the anniversary of the date he'd been taken. They didn't like to use the word 'cured', as he would never be able to completely forget what had happened to him, but he was moving on. He was living his life unafraid of what the future held, and Mara was so proud of him for that fact.

"Jaina, where's your father and Jacen?" Leia asked.

"Oh, Jacen was just asking dad if he could keep the baby scrub lizard that some guy on the street sold him yesterday," Jaina said nonchalantly.

"What?!" Leia screeched and immediately jumped to her feet to run into the house, angrily screaming her husband's name as she did so.

"Ooh, this should be good. Let's go watch!" Anakin said excitedly, and leapt up to follow his mother, Jaina two steps behind him as the they giggled wickedly.

"We have that to look forward to in a few years, you know," Mara said wryly as Luke shook his head ruefully over the Solo children's antics.

He laughed softly as he stood up, a still panting Aric tucked under one arm. Walking over to Mara, he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her upturned lips. "Love you," he said.

"Love you, too. We should probably get in there and help put a stop to the fireworks," she said, and indeed, the tumult from inside the Solo household was steadily growing in volume.

"Probably," he agreed. "Want to ride on Daddy's back, Aryn?" he asked as he smiled down at his daughter.

She quickly agreed and set aside her sketchpad to clamber up onto her father's back, hanging on to his neck when he began to sway like he was going to fall from the added weight of the two youngsters, staggering dramatically as he headed towards the door. Mara paused a moment to appreciate the laughter of all three of her family before she got to her feet and started to follow them. Movement from the corner of the balcony caught her eye and she was spinning around with her lightsaber in hand before she had a second thought.

She nearly dropped her weapon in shock at the sight that met her eyes. It had been a long time since she'd seen him, but Mara still recognized the handsome features of her husband's father. And he was not alone this time. Standing on one side of him was an older gentleman that she knew to be Obi-Wan Kenobi, and on the other side was a small elfin-like creature that had to be Master Yoda from Luke's descriptions of him.

Her mouth dropped open in astonishment as the three Jedi Masters smiled at her, seeming to give her their blessings. When they looked past her to the doorway, she turned her head to see Luke standing there smiling as well, and she knew that he saw them, too. Her husband turned his loving gaze to her and beckoned her towards him with a nod of his head.

With one last glance at the ghostly images of Luke's mentors, who were even now shimmering out of sight, Mara went to join her family.


End file.
